"What the hell are you smiling for?"

I asked you that question not too long ago.

Somehow it already seems like the other side of eternity. One day you were there, and she was there, and he was there, and the whole damn village was folding around us, golden with autumn and there. And I already knew I was leaving.

It was a betrayal of the finest kind; that all of this was with me and for me, and I would take an icy dagger and stab at the heart of it. Extinguish the happy, maple-studded feelings because they couldn't be real. Nothing could ever be real, because the cold resolution and tunnel-vision that came with vengeance would fade. I would be caught up in the realness of something warm, but it wouldn't melt the ice.

No, I've always hated that metaphor, that warm plus ice equals a sopping pile of water. Because it's not true. The warmth did come, and brought the terrible realness of something I was convinced I didn't want, and stole the realness of what I really wanted. Not enough, he'd commented blandly.

Not enough hate.

No water was involved.

It's hard to envision another reality, when you're in the center of exactly where you know you should never have gone. And there you were, tugging me over to your side, where sunlight breathed, and everything was gold and fragile, caught up in the business of living. Where things are so precious you know they can't be real, but you like to pretend. And you smiled.

"What the hell are you smiling for?"

The words slipped out into the bustling street. People halted, hands poised over tomatoes while hagglers paused in the tumult of their arguing. The quiet dropped down like a curtain, black, the appropriate color to showcase the coldness of the frosty Uchiha heir. I had screamed the words, shooting in the dark; wanting to find something, anything, to break free, hoping that this may be the time you gave in. Give up, I willed silently. Give up, so I can forget and leave and fall back down into the dark place where I don't care.

But you never do.

You alone stood oblivious to the sudden silence, contemplating me as if a loud, absurdly random question was a common part of your conversations. Then I saw it. Your lips tugged up at the corners, spreading something akin to joy throughout your grin, to seep seamlessly into criminally blue eyes.

And all that joy and warmth was offered up on a silver platter to someone that desperately wanted it. Give up; be happy, you willed silently. Give up, so you can forget and stay and fall back down into the people waiting for you.

I ran.

What should have been wasn't, and I'm too far in to regret it. I'm used to regretting, and I'll come back. After the dark months have stretched into years, I'll come back and smash that smile, wipe that grin off your face. I hated his laugh, like I hate your smile. And I hate myself for thinking they're the same.

Not enough hate? But I'm drowning in it.


"Because he killed the precious things, and you gave them back."

Author's notes: Ah; another example of my fixation on Sasuke and Naruto's friendship. Theirs is a twisted one, certainly, but somehow I find it…. endearing. (shrugs)

I also find it annoying that there's so much yaoi involving the two. You just can't have a friendship nowadays without dragging sick stuff like that into it.

But enough of that, before I start ranting. (heh)

To my reviewers:

Aaya: You crazy girl. XD You can make me write an Itasaku fic when you pry the keyboard from my cold, dead fingers.

But thanks for reviewing, mon friend. (wink)

Tennis-tensai: I'm glad you liked it.

And last, but certainly not least…

ShikamaruRocks: I thank you from the bottom of my writer's heart for the review. It's always a comfort knowing that people enjoy your work when you have your doubts. I'll keep writing drabbles, and this one is for you. (grin)