Title: Maybe, Just Maybe
Disclaimer: Please don't sue. The characters I created are mine. So steal my idea, or 'borrow' without my permission, and I will be the one to sue. Other characters remain...not mine.
Pairings:Buffy/Faith
Feedback: Always, please )
Rating: R

Note: I am so sorry I haven't updated in ages! But with school and work and show rehearsals etc, I just haven't had the time! Here's Ch. 17 - hope you're all still reading and please tell me what you think!


Chapter 17

I trod the corridor flooring and listened to how loud my heels were on the ground. For some reason I couldn't stop thinking about Angel, and about him coming back, to help us. Sure, it was great that he could help, but…after everything that happened…

We'd agreed to keep it strictly work-related in the sense of not going back to where we were before. There were just so many things I didn't wanna have to think about when it came to him. Him. And me.

There was Faith. I love her. I still love Angel, but…I can't. There's just so much.

I pushed the library door to, my expectations immediately met as I scanned the room for everyone. Everyone was there. Even Angel; in the corner as to avoid "poofing" from the extreme sunlight.

Everyone was so engrossed in reading, and training, and…everyone was just so…focussed. But I just couldn't stop thinking. All the things that had happened. What Faith had said. Her doubts. Willow's doubts. MY doubts. What if we didn't see the day after tomorrow? What would happen next?

I was so scared of that thought but at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about it. The line between reality and…whatever beyond, a dream, a fantasy world, whatever just seemed so…blurred. If this was reality, what was fantasy?

Last night Faith and I…the energy thing. I just couldn't get a hold of everything. Had we beaten this thing already? We already proved we had a strong hold on this thing what with the energy and stuff.

I put down my books on the desk among all of the other research material. I think I was far from reality today…everyone was talking, training, reading, going about their business, but it didn't seem like I was there. I felt more like a visitor on this mission, at that moment in time.

'Buffy, thank god you're here,' I heard from behind me. Giles, approaching me with a book in one hand and his glasses in the other. He seemed rushed.

Across the room was Willow and Faith sparring, and Oz and Xander and Angel were reading some things.

'What's up?' I asked him, trying not to sound too distant, but I think it was too obvious in my tone.

'Willow and I have been working on this locater spell and we finally found out where the tool is, well both of them to be exact.' He turned a page in his book, seeming as if he was reading from something that told him more about these tool things. 'Except…now that you're all here I think we should sit down.' He seemed distracted, and headed for the window, pulling the blinds shut.

Once again we convened around the table, each one of us holding an expression too deep to encounter. I couldn't stop glancing at Angel, who seemed so focussed on what Giles was telling us, and Faith…she was also concentrating hard. Everyone was. Except for me. Where was my mind?

We must've been talking a good few hours or so because when we'd finished the sun was beginning to set. We all headed back to the house to get everything ready for tomorrow night. Weapons, potions, weapons and more weapons. Just in case.

'I'm thinking about getting one of those arm shooting things,' Xander began as we entered the house. I raised an eyebrow and he saw this. 'You know like that guy in X-Men has…only with less…surgery and a few more buckles…' I chuckled a little.

Willow interrupted him. 'I think you can get those at that store across from the Magic Shop. They do them in bulk.' They continued on into the lounge and I headed for my room, only to be stopped by Faith on the way.

'Hey,' she began, and I turned to face her, beginning to climb the stairs. 'You alright, you seem really distant?'

I nodded briefly and knew seconds after that she wouldn't be having any of it. If by now she couldn't see straight through me then I must be deeper than a twenty four foot slab of steel.

'You wanna talk?' she continued, grasping the banister as she looked up at me.

I shook my head. 'I just think I need to take a nap.' I offered a smile and she nodded. 'I haven't slept much for the past few nights.'

She chuckled a little. 'Me either, but I know a quick fix for that if you're lookin' for an energy-booster,' she winked and I smiled once again.

I shook my head shortly after her offer. 'Nah, I just need a nap. Strangely not in the mood for anything…kinky, tonight…what with…everyone, being here.' At that moment Angel passed us crossing from the lounge to the dining room, but not without stealing a glance my way. I nodded a little and he sighed a little, raising his eyebrows simultaneously. Faith's eyes gazed at him as he passed, catching on the look he'd given me.

'I never knew it bothered you that much, B. Everyone, being here, I mean.'

I shook my head. 'I just don't think it's an appropriate time. And I'm also…not in the mood.' I winced a little, instantly realising the damage my comment could do.

She nodded, seeming self-assured by my words. 'It's alright. After.' I gave her a look edging on "I don't understand," and she continued. 'I mean…if we get through this, then maybe we could reserve the eighth of July for a whole night of…your choice, shower, bed, floor, wall…whatever…ice cream, chocolate, oh! Low fat yoghurt…' I let out a chuckling whimper as she said this. By now I was grinning; she definitely had what it takes to cheer me up.

I leant in close to her. 'I will hold you to that.'

'I thought the word you were looking for was "fuck."'

I hit her playfully on the arm and she grinned. I sucked in a breath through my mouth, looking away from her as I did. 'Perhaps it was. But as for now…I'm wicked exhausted-'

Giles passed by. 'Why don't you take a nap, Buffy, we can handle preparation down here, we'll call you if we need anything.'

'Yeah, I was actually just trying to tell Faith that I was going to take a nap,' I explained to him, leaning back from her. I looked back to her. 'Catch ya later,' I said as I punched her clenched fist and she winked.

Giles continued on to wherever it was he was going and Faith headed through to the lounge. I continued on up to the bedroom, letting out the longest yawn I think I'd ever had on the way. I was so exhausted. But then we all were. I bet everyone was wicked jonesin' for bed the way I was.

I ambled into the bedroom, pulling my sweater off as I did, heading straight for the bed. I already decided I'd make it an hour's rest and no more. Perhaps they didn't need me right now but we were all together in this. Every step of the way. Preparation and everything.

I wonder if their eyes burned as much as mine, though. Cos it was so painful. I wonder if I was the only one.

I heard a gentle knock on my door and looked over my shoulder as I threw the sweater down on the bed. 'Angel, hey.'

'Hey,' he began.

'You can…come in,' I told him, aware that he might have thought I didn't want him to come into the room at this moment in time.

'Thanks,' he said as he stepped in. 'I just came up here to talk about weapons with you,' he continued, playing with his hands as he talked, seeming nervous about wandering around the room, so he didn't. Kinda glued himself to the spot just inside the door.

'So…weapons. I've got the chest downstairs and Giles said he was gathering some stuff over the past few days.'

'We're talking steel bars and scythes here, not stakes and holy water.'

'I know, we have steel stuff. Plenty of it. Shiny stuff that would put you into a trance for HOURS on end.' I nodded as I concluded my sentence, soon seeing the expression upon his face. 'So…I think, we're set.'

'There's enough for everyone?'

'I'm sure of it.' It puzzled me slightly how he always contained this deep solemnity in his voice, not as if he was bored, just…that was the way he always spoke. I gazed at him a few seconds. 'So tomorrow's the night.'

'Tomorrow's the night,' he repeated, assuringly. 'It'll be alright, Buffy. As long as we disable this thing they can't start the apocalypse.'

'It's not that that I'm worried about. It's…the fighting,' I started, but before I had a chance to continue he stopped me.

'But that's what you're built for, Buffy. And depending on how smoothly it goes…we may not have to fight.'

'Oh…but…won't they be, guarding the entrance or anything? Don't you think they would be? Shouldn't we go check it out, do some recon?'

He nodded his head. 'Giles told me to tell you that a couple of us might be going tonight. Me, Faith, possibly Willow. He knew you wanted to rest so he said not to worry you, but it seems you're already on it.'

'Er…I don't have to nap, it doesn't matter, I probably wouldn't sleep anyway.'

'Maybe after all this, you can.'

'Yeah, if all those things don't eat us.'

'I don't think they eat,' he told me.

'Well break us. Into very small…edible pieces.'

'What makes you think they'd do that?'

'They're apocalypse starting-human race ending demons, why wouldn't they?'

He sighed. 'I think we're missing the point.'

'Or avoiding it,' I uttered beneath my breath.

'What?' he asked me, catching the words I inwardly wished I hadn't said straight after I did.

'Nothing, it's nothing…I didn't mean for-'

'I get the feeling you thought I came up here to talk about something different, something other than weapons.'

'No, I just-'

'Hoped I wouldn't catch on?'

I hesitated in replying to him. Perhaps maybe he was right. I wished he wasn't but that could've been the case here. We were talking about….shiny, pointy…painful weapons, not other…touchy subjects. 'No, not at all.'

'We agreed to keep it strictly work-related, remember.'

'Yes.' Perhaps me continuing there would've made it seem less…touchy.

'Right.' Perhaps HIM continuing there would've made him seem less suspicious of me. Or the other way round, I'm not sure yet.

I sat down on my bed and removed my heels, and immediately began searching for a more comfortable pair of footwear.

'I think I better go downstairs.'

'I'm coming with you,' I told him, just to make sure he knew.

He nodded and I smiled a little. 'I still think about you Angel.'

There was silence. I think he was contemplating my words. And I thanked God that at least he did. 'I know.' With that, he proceeded to leaving my room.

He knows? What the hell kind of answer was that to a girl who'd just admitted she still has feelings for a guy she so…desperately tried to fall out of love with not six months ago. I shook it quickly and hurried in changing.

I was met with a shit-eating grin by Faith at the foot of the stairs. 'Missed me, did you?' she quipped and straddled my waist with an arm as we walked into the lounge.

'I decided not to sleep. There's too much to do, you know. Sussing out the four-one-one on this Crypt thing and what not.' Will and Angel were sitting in the lounge, collecting together a few weapons that might be useful for tonight's recon.

Angel picked up a very large, very heavy-looking weapon and handed it to Will, who at first just looked at him, then, fell with it to the ground as he handed it to her. 'Er…I was thinking something less…strenuous,' she told him, and he took it from her and handed it to Faith, then glanced at me, being held by Faith.

'The Slayer's Companion; the very large…butcher knife-shaped thingy.' She looked to me. 'You want it?'

I shook my head. 'I'll stick with knives and bows and arrows. Anything small that can be thrown far so I don't have to get close to any of these things.

Angel handed me a bag and I took a peek inside. Exactly what I expected. The aforementioned.