Title: Maybe, Just Maybe
Disclaimer: Please don't sue. The characters I created are mine. So steal my idea, or 'borrow' without my permission, and I will be the one to sue. Other characters remain...not mine. Otherwise, all the characters remain Joss Whedon's and 20th Century Fox
Pairings:Buffy/Faith
Feedback: Please review )
Rating: R
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Thanks to everyone who's still reading my fic. I know this is taking forever to post up, but I've finished writing it, and now hopefully I can post the rest up pretty soon! Keep reading, please please please review I love to read all of the comments, even if it's just a couple of words, even if it's YOU SUCK! LOL. Tell me! I wanna know! Thank you, chicks for having faith in this story and following it from the beginning. I hope you stick with it til the end (which is nigh...) mwwwaaahs to all of you!
Chapter 21
The sunlight beamed into the room, merciless upon the people of Sunnydale.
The door came to and in stepped a slender figure, fragile almost, but agile. The footsteps approached and eventually halted as they sat down upon the chair provided.
I sat across, watching, holding limp skin, touching, feeling, waiting. Patiently.
She pushed a delicate strand from her face and placed the flowers down on the side table. 'No change?' she whispered, her voice barely heard above all of the beeping of the monitors, the heart monitor a painful reminder of how much this was a victim before us, fighting for the value of her life.
I licked over my lips, watching the lifeless figure before me. Perhaps my painful reminder was a broken arm, but this victim before me was darned to fight for eternity.
'What are the doctor's saying today?'
I shook my head slowly, trying to hold back tears, and as I replaced the hand upon the bed, and headed out, I could feel her following me. I looked through the clear glass at her comatose form and frowned. 'They don't know if she'll wake up.'
I could feel a hand upon my arm. I frowned and looked down into the palm of my able hand. I pressed my lips together and looked up towards her. 'This isn't fair.'
I leaned into her, grateful that she was still here with me.
I began sobbing, the sorrow too overwhelming to be able to control. My sobs echoed through the ward, distressing to others, I'm sure. And as I sank to the floor, my form become uncontrollable, I was sure that line between sanity and insanity was threatening me.
- - -
I strolled away from the hospital, telling my mom I wanted to be alone for a while. She drove back to the house, told me to call her if I needed anything. I walked to the park, and saw. Everyone, enjoying the summer. The hot weather of mid-July.
- - -
She hadn't moved an inch since I'd left. But as I clicked the door shut behind me that all changed. She rolled over gently, looking to see who had entered. I offered a timid smile and headed towards the bed. 'Hey, you,' I started, my voice gentle as possible as I could be.
'How was she?' she croaked, her voice bed ridden…then again…it always had that raspy tone to it.
I perched upon the bed, taking her tired hand in mine. 'She was…alive.' My eyebrows furrowed deep in my forehead and I looked towards our hands. 'Just.'
She sat up and I immediately was alerted to the fact that she was moving so much.
'Maybe you should rest, I mean…'
She shook her head, although when thinking about it, her face scrunched and she laid back again. One side of my mouth tugged slightly and I reached out to her, to help her lay down okay.
'Did you sleep much?' I asked, aware that my tone was incredibly lifeless.
She shook her head. 'I just keep thinking about everything.'
'Will said it's best to try to charge. You never know what lies ahead.'
'I know…but thinking is good for that, right?' she asked, looking at my non-responsive face.
I rose from the bed and pulled my shoes from my feet before repositioning myself beside her. I lay beside her, and reached a hand to her face, my fingers somehow managing to gravitate to the recently indented wound upon her cheek. I ran my fingers along it gently, and as my eyes met hers, I felt her pain. Really.
'You really need to get your rest,' I told her, my voice seeming innocent, soft, un-intrusive. I tried not to hold her. As much as I wanted to, I knew I shouldn't.
Not today.
'I heal fast, B,' she told me, and I looked into her eyes, non-responsive a moment.
But as my facial features softened and I offered a timid smile, her eyes lit up. 'That's what I wanted to hear.'
'Well it's true,' she told me and I shook my head immediately.
'Not that.' I moved in close to her and planted a kiss upon her forehead, trying to be as gentle as I could. I got up, and headed for the door, not looking back once.
My name. And she knew it.
- - -
I strolled into the library, feeling so wasted that my legs felt as if they would give if I continued to use them one minute more. I was greeted with a solemn but gentle smile from Giles, about as bruised up and broken as the rest of us. He immediately saw the tiredness in my eyes and guided me to a chair. Upon the table sat the "Machmachra." I gave it a look, then reached for it. All the while I noticed Giles eyes burning into me. I think perhaps he was beating himself up for leaving it out.
'I'm sorry, I should've…' he began, but I cut him short.
'No…it's…it's okay…' I flipped the cover open, and looked at the first page, remembering the first time we'd read that. I didn't get much further in flipping the pages before the library door swung open. Both Giles and I looked towards the entrance, and I felt tears begin to well. Giles headed for the counter to deal with a group of people's books. I looked back down to the book, but looked back up a few seconds, later, realising there was an approaching figure. I looked towards it, and I smiled slightly, my eyes indeed burning still, tears filling to the brim, or so it felt.
I watched him, watched as he looked down at me, with a content smile upon his face, but also filled with some amount of consideration and sorrow. Painful experience.
As the people left the library, Giles headed back to us. 'Xander,' he said, alerting him to my Watcher. He looked over his shoulder, and outstretched a hand, shook it.
'Giles.' He stepped back, made his way around me and seated himself in a chair, noticing the book I had been looking at. I pushed it away a little and he reached a hand to my back, and rubbed it a little.
'It seems almost like an interval, doesn't it,' Giles said, sitting with us around the table.
I turned the page, and alas, that demon. We all sat, looking at it, each one of us holding an emotion too deep for the other to dissect.
- - -
I hated how my arm had healed in no time, yet everyone around me seemed to remain hurt, broken, un-healed.
Perhaps able to walk, able to breathe, eat and sleep. All of us but one. We all ached inside. For her.
Faith sat beside her bed, holding her hands, her own form as tired and lifeless as Willow's looked. 'I know you're in there, girlfriend. And…I know you won't give up. Because it's all about fighting, isn't it?' She wiped away a tear and reached for a card we'd all gotten her. It was huge, so she couldn't look at Will and read it at the same time. 'This message here is from Buffy.' She cleared her throat and began reading. '"Everyday I walk, everyday I breathe. Everyday I take a step and a step for me has been counted. Everyday I learn. Everyday my life continues. Everyday I am blessed. I'm blessed because of those around me. I may have been born with a gift, but aren't we all? My gift isn't my powers. It's my friends, and my family. You in particular have helped me through so much. Everything that we've been through and you still don't judge me. Living without you is like a breath I can't take. I need you to walk. I need you to breathe. I need you to take a step in the world…I need you to learn, and to continue. I love you Will. Please don't leave me."' She licked over her lips subconsciously, reading over the words again, unaware of the pair of eyes on her. She sniffled and continued. 'Er…I wrote this. I've never been…good at writing notes, but…' she shrugged and looked at the card. '"Roller coasters are our lives. A series of ups and downs that can make us laugh, cry, or sometimes both. We need certain people to get through life. And sometimes, those people need us back. I can't remember a time you didn't bless us all. We managed to be a screwed up bunch of people who do nothing but fight apocalypses and keep the world from ending, yet…when we feel we honestly can't do this, we have someone to help us, to assure us we can. You. We can always count on you to be there, to help us, to guide us through. We guide each other, but sometimes, we have to go to you because we know that you'll always guide us through to the end. I haven't known you long, but I've known you long enough to know that you are meant to live a long and healthy live. So don't do it…don't quit on us. Not just yet."' She folded up the card, sobbing gently. She raised a hand to her face, though when a hand touched hers, she gasped.
She looked up and couldn't believe what her eyes were telling her. 'I'm not going anywhere…not just yet,' she said with a little chuckle, her voice so beaten, croaky.
'Red?'
'Faith,' she said, so solemnly. 'I know you didn't write that all by yourself,' she told her, taking the card from her.
She smiled. 'I did actually.'
Willow looked into her brown eyes, and blinked indolently, her eyelids heavy from the intense comatose state, energy just about apparent in her veins. 'Okay,' she said gently. 'Did we do it?'
Faith nodded. 'We did it.'
Willow smiled a moment, though that faded when her eyes looked over the card. 'Did everyone make it?'
Silence. She looked into Faith's eyes once again, and when there was no reply, she raised a hand to her eyes, her face scrunching, tears threatening to drench her cheeks.
Faith immediately raised a hand to Willow's that grasped her face, and she shushed her. 'No, no, no…shh, Red, it's okay.'
'W-who didn't make it? Oh god…' she cried, her crying beginning to become hysterical.
'We did.'
She paused, taking in a breath and gazing into Faith's eyes with her own. 'Just us?'
Faith shook her head. 'If we lost you…' she shrugged. 'We're all fighters. There's no way they could destroy us, Red. You know that.' She seemed to make it sound so casual, when inside she was probably sighing a breath of relief.
Willow gasped. 'Oh, thank God.' She covered her mouth with her hand and Faith leaned in to hug her.
A nurse passed, though re-entered upon seeing that Willow was awake. 'Miss Rosenberg?'
Willow looked up at the nurse.
