Title: The Adventures of Ferret Boy and Weasel Girl

Author: Tiny Q

E-Mail: one_legged_lesbian_seagull@hotmail.com

A/N: Wow!  Such a large cry for smash.  I was quite happy really, so thank you everyone!  Sorry this took me so long to get out though.  I have been working on a few too many things at once and it just isn't good.  But it's here!  I have a feeling that it isn't in quite the same writing style as before, but I couldn't figure out why.  Maybe one of you could enlighten me?  Anyhoo, I'll just stop rambling and let you read...

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.  NOTHING!  Mwa ha ha ha!

The Adventures of Ferret Boy and Weasel Girl

Chapter 2

Reading Glasses

~*~

            Ginny awoke with the feeling that her head had been rammed into something.  It had been a very hard something.  She would have to make a point of remembering that guns really did make an effective utensil to knock a person unconscious when applied to the back of the head.  And that they also left nasty headaches.

            Slowly rolling her head upright, she looked around her surroundings.  She was apparently sitting in a grayish-white room that had very little in it.  Well, with the exception of the two chairs, one of which she was tied to.  Looking up she could see a large verity of pipes and vents that had been painted the same grayish color as the walls.  Her eyes drifting down she noticed a set of five windows that rose about four feet into the air, crisscrossed by the metal strips that held the panes in place.  All she could see out of them was cloud and sky.  They were high in the building then.

            Twisting her head back, she saw a tuft of blonde hair behind her.  So, she wasn't the only captive, but then, why would anyone really want to kidnap her anyway?  She frowned.  Yet here she was, a captive nonetheless.  And it was all the stupid ferret's fault.  He was the one who was supposed to play the hero.  Not just let them be kidnapped.  It was disgraceful.  So much for the unsung hero theory.

            She shifted in her seat a touch then something struck her mind.  She wasn't just any captive now.  No, she was not just a kidnapped teenage girl.  She was being held by Nazis.  Nazis who wanted her father's diary so they could find the Holy Grail.  And now all she had to do was get her failed savior to grab her lighter and attempt to burn through the ropes. 

            But her lighter was in her side bag, not her pocket, seeing as she had none to keep anything in.  Her treasure was also in her wonderful bag.  With a feeling in her stomach like a rock had just plummeted through it, Ginny looked about the empty room for her side bag.  She didn't know what she would do if she didn't have her side bag.  It had everything she needed to have an adventure, though she never really had a chance to try much of it out.  But it figured, her first real adventure, well since she began to crave them, and her bag was missing.

            Then Ginny's eyes fell to a spot on the floor near a set of double doors across from the multiple windows.  It was her bag, sitting there in all its splendor, along with two wands, but who cared about those when her bag was safe?  She let out a sigh of relief.  Now all she had to do was wake up the blonde behind her and get over there.  Then they could get themselves out of the ropes, which were really a bit on the tight side.  Did they want to give her rope burn? 

            "Malfoy," she hissed, jerking her butt a bit so as to move her chair and jog him into the real world.  "Malfoy, are you awake?"

            No response.

            "Apparently not," she sighed to herself then snapped her head back.  There was a loud "bonk" as her head collided with the older boy's skull.  She heard a startled "gah".  "Are you awake now?" she asked him, her head beginning to hurt even more than before.  It never seemed to hurt that much in the movies.  She would have to make a note of that as well apparently.

            "Weasley?" she heard him sputter.  "What the hell was that for?!"

            "I had to wake you up, didn't I?" she said as sweetly as she could.

            "Couldn't think of another way that didn't involve my skull fracturing?" he hissed, turning his head to glare at her.  She grinned back at him, trying to ignore the pounding sounds in her head.  How she loathed headaches.  "No, I suppose you couldn't could you?"

            "Oh I could," she replied, looking away now and back to her lovely bag.  If only she could get to her bag.  "But I didn't feel like using them."

            "Of course not," he sneered, turning away as well.  He looked about the room, and she could imagine the scowl on his face.  "Where the hell are we?"

            "I don't know," she replied with a shrug and she heard him groan.

            "Great," he hissed.  "Not only have I been kidnapped, by Muggles of all things, I've been kidnapped with a Weasley.  And not just any Weasley either, the stupidest one of the lot!" 

            "Hey!" Ginny snapped, turning her head to glare at him with the Weasley glare.  Unfortunately it wasn't quite as effective as it should have been due to the fact that she couldn't face him properly.  "I would watch who you are calling stupid, stupid.  Now I don't feel like sharing my escape plan with you." 

            "Your escape plan?" he scoffed.  "You actually expect me to believe that you could come up with a decent escape plan?  I'll figure a way out of this on my own."

            "Fine," she replied.  "I didn't want to share it with you anyway."  As if to prove her point, Ginny turned her head and stared at the wall, humming something under her breath.  As if to prove his own point, the blonde began to struggle against his ropes.

            Ginny sat there, continuing her humming, ignoring the boy.  She knew he wouldn't get out by just wiggling around.  That never happened in movies.  Ever.  And if it did it was a really bad movie.  She also knew that what she was doing was a childish way of getting what she wanted, but she was the youngest member of her family.  If she couldn't push her status, then she would never get anything she wanted.  And it wasn't like the ferret behind her never did the same thing with only child status.

            After a few minutes, which were filled with the sounds of the boy trying to escape from his ropes, everything went silent.  He was sulking now, realizing that he truly couldn't get out of the ropes in a mundane way.  She grinned slightly, but continued to hum.  More silence.

            "Alright!" he finally burst out after another ten minutes had passed, causing Ginny to smirk farther.  They always snapped, it was just a matter of how long it took.  "What's your stupid plan?"

            "Well," she began, squirming with anticipation.  If there was one thing that she loved more than her action films it was talking about these aforementioned films.  "This is just like in 'The Last Crusade' when they are all tied up like this and have to escape-"

            "In English please?" Malfoy sneered, causing her to frown.

            "What they did was get a lighter and burned through the ropes," she stated simply, smiling at her own ingeniousness.

            "And where do you propose we get this lighter from?" he practically snarled in exasperation.  "I certainly don't have one and I don't seem to have my wand either."

            "That's because it's over there by the wall, with my bag," she said, nodding her head in the general direction of the objects.  "My lighter is in my bag."

            Malfoy stared at them.  "What kind of idiot kidnapers do we have?" he sneered, causing Ginny to look at the objects.  "Why would they put our belongings in the same room as us?"

            Now that she thought about it, Ginny realized that he had a point.  They definitely didn't do that in the movies.  Perhaps these captors of theirs were not their typical movie type captors.  Yet whether this was a good sign or a bad one she wasn't quite sure.  But she was sure she would figure it out sooner or later. 

            "Doesn't matter, but we need to get over there," she said with a shrug. 

            "And how do you propose we do that, Weasel?" he snarled, glaring at her as she stared at her side bag.  She ignored him.

            "We both jump at the same time in our chairs and make them move to the right."  She frowned.  "Well, your left I suppose."  She paused.  "And when we reach them we can fish out my lighter, burn through the ropes, gather our belongings and shimmy down the drainpipes outside the window."

            "I am not shimmying down anything," Malfoy drawled.

            "Fine, I'll shimmy you jump.  Happy?" she snapped, glancing around.  "Now on the count of three, jump and tilt to your left."  At his silence Ginny began to count.  "One, Two-"

            Three never came as the door opened and the three balaclava-wearing men from before entered the room.  Ginny turned as far as she could to see them.  They had a microphone in their hands.  And large grins on their faces, or at least that was what she thought they were doing.  She began to get the feeling that something was off about them, even for Muggles.

~*~

            Draco turned his head and watched the three men walk into the room.  He was beginning to think that their masks were the trademark of stupidity.  Seriously, who wears a mask used for minus twenty-five degree weather in the middle of summer?  Well, they obviously did which seemed to prove his point.

            His eyes drifted from their covered faces to their hands, where the man in the lead was holding something.  Draco narrowed his eyes at it, shifting under his constraints.  It looked like a silver ball attached to a stick.  There was a wire of some sort attached to the stick which wound about and led to a box, which the tall man was carrying.

            "What the hell is that?" he quietly asked the Weasley behind him.  She was a valid person to ask, seeing as her and her family were Muggle lovers.  Muggle lovers had to know about Muggles themselves.  He was not disappointed.

            "It's a Muggle recording device," the red head replied under her breath.  "It records your voice."  She paused.  "And it's a rather old model.  They don't usually use the microphones like that anymore."

            "Oh," he said flatly.  What did he care, after all, about the up-to-dateness of Muggles.  Never mind the fact if he was involved with them in anyway or not.  And he certainly didn't care what they had.  As long as it didn't cause him any physical pain, of course.

            "Ok Kid," the fatter one began, coming to a stop in front of him.  The name "kid" was really beginning to grate on Draco's nerves, and for good reason too as far as I am concerned.  "I want you to read this for us.  And if you don't, your little girlfriend here is going to be a few fingers short of ten."  The other two chuckled at this.

            "People only have eight fingers," he corrected the man, staring up at him defiantly.  "And it's not like-"  Ginny jerked in her chair, showing her discontent at what he was intending to say.  Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  "Fine," he snapped, more at her than anyone else.  "What do I have to read?"

            The man to his left reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.  He smoothed it out then placed it on Draco's lap with a sneer.  Draco looked down on the scribbled words, scanning over the poorly written work that was haphazardly hanging on the faint blue lines.  He sneered at it.  If this was their idea of a ransom note then they were no better than Hufflepuffs.

            "I can't read this," he scoffed, shifting his leg, trying to knock it off.  It was a rather difficult task with his ankle tied painfully to the leg of the chair he was sitting on.  He sneered up at the fat man.  There was no way he was going to read something that made him sound like that.  The description "sniveling baby" was even too gracious a term.

            "What?" the tallest member of the trio asked in confusion.  Draco turned his attention to him.  "I thought all you rich kids were smart."  He heard the Weasley giggle.  He would punish her for that when he had his hands free.  Perhaps he would make her kiss him again.  No.  That would be a punishment for both of them.  Or at least, that was what the Slytherin part of him was saying.  He told it to choke and die.

            "I can read," he sneered spitefully, glaring at the man.  "But I can't see the words."  At his blank stare he elaborated.  "I don't have my glasses."  Total bull it was true.  How else could he have discovered what trash the girl watched or made his way around London earlier that day? 

            "So," the quieter of the three snapped from behind them.  "Squint."

            Smirking internally, Draco squinted down on the page resting on his lap.  He had a feeling he was about to enjoy this immensely.  "Father, I am treeing helm asparagus... mice wine."  He squinted further, not showing his amusement in the slightest.  "What kind of dung is this?"

            The fat one snatched the page away, scowling furiously.  "It says: Father, I am being held against my will," he snarled, glaring at Draco.  The red head behind him was shaking slightly.  It took him a moment before he realized it was with mirth.  He wanted so much to join her, but at the moment he was rather caught up in whatever this exchange could be called.

            "Do we have any bigger paper?" the quiet one asked, glaring at the other two.

            "I don't think so Jeff," the tall one began.

            "Don't use my name, you git," he hissed, glaring further.  Draco smirked at this.  So, his name was Jeff.  Seemed that perhaps their stupidity went even further than that of the Weasley behind him.  But then, that was a pretty big assumption to make. 

            "Sorry," the other mumbled, dropping his gaze to the girl behind him.  After a moment a leer crossed onto his features. 

            "Just go find something," Jeff sneered at him.  A moment later the man was scampering off back through the door.  Draco stared longingly at his wand.  It probably wasn't the smartest of things to have done for the man named Jeff followed his gaze.

            "Interesting items you kids carry around in your pockets these days," he said casually as he waked over to their wands and picked them up.  The man looked down on the one in his right hand, Draco's, with mild interest, turning it about and approaching Draco and the Weasley.  "What purpose do these sticks have?"  He waved it at Draco. 

            No sparks flew from the tip as it would have if Draco had done the exact same gesture.  He sneered at the man.  Muggles really were pathetic as his father had always told him.  Not an ounce of magic in them.  Now if only he could get his hands on his wand.  He would then proceed to transfigure these magic rejects into animals.  Well, perhaps the fat one would make a good footstool, but that was beside the point.

            "I don't see how it has anything to do with you," Draco sneered at him, looking pointedly at his face.  The man had sharp brown eyes that were nothing special at all.  The eyes then turned to the other occupant of the room that was tied to a chair.  "Do you know girl?" he asked her, walking around the two to face her.  Draco turned with him.  "What they are for?"

            "She had one too, boss," the fat one informed, but was seemingly ignored.

            "Well, do you?"  He was staring down on her and Draco could feel her shaking again.  He couldn't believe the cowardice of the girl.  All talk no balls.  Not that it would be a pleasant thought to think of a female Weasley with balls.  Though it did have some merit in explaining a few things.

            "No," she replied simply.

            "Of course not," the man sneered.

            "If I told you we were part of an elaborate cult that uses wands and magic, would that make you feel better?" she sneered at him then, and Draco felt slightly taken aback by her casual exposure to their world.  What a nice way to get yourself a fine with the Ministry.  And it wasn't like the Weasleys had the money to pay for it.

            Suddenly, and quite inconspicuously, an idea struck Draco like a brick.  All he had to do to get out of here was attract the Ministry's attention and then they would remove them from these pathetic Muggle's hands.  Now all he had to do was get his hand on his wand.  Then he could begin practicing his transfiguration.

            "Not in the slightest," he sneered in response, opening his mouth to say more.  He never quite got the chance to say anything more though, for the door opened once more.  The tall one had returned carrying scraps of boxes. 

            "This was all I could find," he huffed, dropping them to the ground.  "But I think they will work just as well."  He then reached into his pocket and pulled some sort of tube and dropped it onto the pile as well.

            "Fine.  Start writing."  With a nod the man dropped to his knees, pulling the tube apart and began to scribble on the boards.  After a bit the fat one dropped the letter down beside him which he took and began to copy out in large letters.  Well, at least he had wasted some of their time, which seemed to be the only thing he could do to them at the moment.  But when he got his hands free and his wand back...

            "Done," the tall one replied after a few minutes, and both Draco and the Weasley looked at him. 

            "Good," the fat one said, shoving the ball and stick under Draco's nose.  "Now, read the words kid."

            Draco stared at the words that the tall one had scribbled out on the board and was holding before his face.  He picked up the poor grammar and spelling mistakes and as if it was in his nature, which it probably was, and he sneered at them. 

            "Read," Jeff hissed, now clutching both wands in one hand, his other now holding one of those odd Muggle wands.  The Weasley gasped at its appearance. 

            With a sigh of annoyance Draco glared at the words.  "Father," he began to drawl, speaking for all respects as if he were dictating a postcard to be sent from some tropical resort.  "I am being held against my will.  The men holding me and my girlfriend have not harmed us, but they say they will if you don't hand over the ransom they ask for."

            And so the monologue went on and on.  If ransom notes were ever graded he was sure that that one would receive a poor at best.  Wasn't the idea to keep those things short and to the point, not put the guardian to sleep?  It was the last part, however, that really caught at his attention.

            "Your son, Thomas."  He heard the Weasley's surprised utterance and swatted at her with his hands to try and keep her quiet.  So, the idiots thought that he was someone else.  That he was some Muggle rich kid snob.  Well, they had one part right he supposed.  He was rich.  But he was certainly not Muggle.  He glared at them ruefully.

            "Excellent," Jeff drawled, pocketing their wands with a smirk.  "What?  You didn't think I would leave these here, did you?"  He chuckled softly.  "We'll just go send this tape to daddy dearest and wait for his response."  He turned on his heel and walked out the door without a second glance. 

            "Hopefully he doesn't reply quickly," the tall one said sardonically, once again leering at the girl behind him.  Then he, along with the fat one, strode out of the room.  Silence rang.

            "Ewww," the Weasley finally moaned, making Draco try to look at her with a sneer.  It hadn't been a cake walk for his either, after all.  Silence once more.  Then something seemed to occur to her, or that was what Draco assumed had happened.  "He thinks you're someone else.  I was kidnapped because of some twisted case of mistaken identity!  Great."

            "And they took our wands," he pointed out, glaring at the door now.  "So I suggest we try this stupid plan of yours so we can get out of here before they realize that I'm not who they think I am and decide to do something stupid."

            "Fine," the girl huffed, shifting once more.  "On three.  One, two, three!" 

            At that moment they both jumped in their ropes, trying to move their chair as they went, only to send them crashing to the ground.

            "Ow," the Weasley groaned, and Draco felt inclined to agree with her.

~*~

A/N: Well, there you go.  Mistaken identity and some more stupidity.  Don't know how long it will take to get the next chapter out.  Working eight fics at once seems to slow them all down.  Bah.  But I think next chapter we will have an attempted escape and perhaps a few lose calls, from more than one context, if you catch my drift...

Many thanks to: alenchic, sabacat, Breanna(oh, I hope it isn't. I don't like it that much), Mizgeorgiapeach, SkysTheLimit(Great. Another stalker. You guys are really starting to piss me off with all your staring and stalkyness. Poop on you all! :D), P(Hmm, you never know), Painted Dragon, Erisinia Gazelle(Oh, nice. Whip me then say please? JK), tulzdavampslayer(Smash the several what? Oh, you amuse me dear), Elyse, Lallie(Oh good to hear! Yay!  Belly dancing!), yay, yourgrandmother, VirtualFaerie(Yay!  Sparkly confetti! ~watches with amusement~), angel-a, PerfectSomething, Faile6(Well, I meant a shopping bag, if it's any consolation to you), Hplova4eva, purus.flere and Storm079(Thanks again for reviewing so much of my stuff! I loves you!).

Oh, and if you would like to check updates of mine of any kind (art, writing, pottery and random craziness) then please check out my LiveJournal.  You can add me if you want to too.  The URL is on my bio.  I can't link it because my computer is stupid like poop and refuses to upload URLs.  Bah.