"Daphne Greengrass and the no-good, terrible, very bad years."

Where Daphne's faith in her parents is sorely tried… and she ends up married.

By An Orc, This work is an alternate point of view for 'Not with a half-blood.' Daphne Greengrass would be mortified if anyone read it, so please close the window now. If you've got it on a portable muggle device, delete it at once. And in the unlikely event it's proper book, burn it and vanish the ashes. If you're still reading, Daphne Black would like to warn you that her solicitors are very aggressive.

Chapter Five:m

Daphne got up, did what she had to do, and ran some warm water in the sink, about to wash her hands, dipped her hands in and was nearly scalded. Cursing in a very unladylike way, Daphne gingerly discovered the water was hot. She tried the hot tap in the bath and after a couple of pints of cold, it ran with water so hot it steamed. Something was going on. And while Kreacher did try, he'd let the hot water system get as dismal as it was, so it had to be Potter. Diluted with cold, Daphne washed up, then experimentally set the shower running – and with adjustment had a gorgeously hot shower that melted the knots in her back and left her skin quite pink, and the bathroom steamed up.

Daphne got out of the shower, dried off and wiped the mirror. A young witch with pink skin looked at her, her hair still wet. Daphne nodded to herself. I could get used to really hot showers, she thought, and dried her hair. Dressed for the day, she headed for breakfast, post and unfortunately, Potter. Having my own house is quite nice. The scent of roses had filled Grimmauld place, the odour or rot had faded and it was … well one could suffer through, she mused. It was a shame she had to floo off to get to Buttercup and riding tracks, and… well a heated pool would be delightful. With a glass awning to keep the sun in on warm-ish days so one could lie in the warmth. Daphne got to the dining room and business mail, chafing dishes and Potter.

Daphne asked at breakfast if Potter could do anything other than roses. Potter thought about that evidently. And he had done something about the hot water system and not told her. If he had got a repair-wizard in, he should have had the taps fixed too. Daphne ate kippers and eggs. Potter had taken all the bacon leaving not a single rasher. Pig.

Then she went off to her morning routine. Urgent correspondence, Ride Buttercup, curry Buttercup, wash, come home, accounts.

Ginny Weasley had sent a letter. Addressed to Harry Potter. Daphne incinerated it.

After lunch, there was a nice, unexpected flower arrangement on the dining room table.

Daphne suspected her husband. "What's going on?" she asked.

Potter explained about flower catalogues, which was a strange idea, and then mentioned awkwardly that Granger wanted to visit.

Daphne looked at Harry and, not believing a word Andromeda had said, said "If you carry on with her, I will hex you to death"

Harry explained incoherently that Hermione was not that kind of friend at all. And then got that 'shaved monkey' look on his face again.

And there was a probably store-bought flower arrangement in the drawing room as well.

Ginny Weasley sent a letter to her. Daphne checked for curses and poisions, then read it.

'Daphne Black,

You took my boyfriend from me, you stupid fat-arsed cow.

You are greedy, lazy and stupid and don't deserve Harry.

I'll get you,

Nobody will care.

Ginny Weasley OM (2), Chaser with the Holyhead Harpies.'

Well, she certainly didn't waste time with pleasantries. Daphne resolved to just incinerate all Ginny Weasley letters.

Daphne found Danger Granger in her drawing room on Saturday at about half past ten, asking Potter for a copy of their wedding photograph.

Daphne coughed from the doorway and Potter botched introducing Daphne as "my wife, Daphne, my good friend, Hermione Granger."

Over tea, Daphne politely grilled Hermione. Her job at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was apparently going well, she was living with her parents, and still seeing Ron outside of work. Ron was working for his brother George, and the shop was doing very well.

Potter told Daphne he'd shown Hermione the back courtyard and Daphne asked Potter if he'd told the door story. Potter shook his head.

Daphne proceeded to tell the story of the battle against the sludge-tsunami, and well a witch can enjoy a story about the husband she didn't want getting covered in filth, and by the end, Hermione was laughing. "Oh Harry, covered in crud again." she said. And had no sympathy for Potter at all. And… Potter seemed unperturbed by it.

This led to Hermione telling the story of the chamber of secrets; so much pipe slime, and the trip to the acromantula colony with Ron (saved by the feral flying car).

Daphne was feeling very amused by the stories of Potter being reckless and barely living, so she said to Potter "And why, husband, do you not tell me the stories?"

"Oh Harry's so bloody modest" said Hermione. "Have you ever seen him show off?"

"Only on a Quidditch pitch" said Daphne drily. She wasn't going to mention her slightly fan-girly experience of Potter doing a magic demonstration in her parents training room. That was… well nobody would believe her. Not even Granger.

After a pause for tea, Daphne asked "Harry, dear, is there some reason the hot water is much hotter now. I ran hot to wash my hands, and it was actually too hot."

Potter looked guilty and Hermione picked up on it "Harry, what have you done?" she asked.

Daphne shot Hermione a glare "I'll interrogate my own husband, thank you"

Potter explained about Neville wanting an adventure, and opening the hot door, the boiler and the boiler wrap.

"Harry Potter and the boiler room of neglect" said Hermione.

"Quite" said Daphne. "Well, I've got accounts to do, so will I see Miss Granger at lunch?"

"Oh I couldn't possibly" said Hermione.

"Oh you could" said Daphne "Though dress code for meals is robes."

Potter cleared his throat "And didn't we agree that outside of meals, around home dress code is muggle?"

"Fine" said Daphne and left the room, a crack of apparation. If Granger was going to be sniffing around, Daphne would bloody well dress muggle. She got out her white jeans, a fluffy white jersey and her high-heeled boots. She checked her reflection. The Jersey hid her waist, but she looked far better than Granger.

Daphne apparated back into the drawing room. Potter stared, and swallowed.

"Fine?" asked Daphne, resisting the urge to raise an eyebrow sarcastically.

"Fantastic" said Potter staring out the window. Daphne left feeling… like she'd won. And got to sit and do accounts. Which was just boring. Daphne crossed her legs and worked, idly wiggling her right leg. Rather than drag the damn jeans off for lunch, just to put them back on later, Daphne just pulled a robe on over the top. Granger had done the same, but Harry had got changed.

Kreacher had made soup and crudities. They were… well he wasn't the cook Glinkit was. Or the cleaner Glinkit was, or friendly… but he did what he was told.

By the end of lunch, Granger was making her excuses.

And Granger stuffed her robe into a tiny beaded bag. Daphne had seen space-expanded bags before but this was very good. "Where'd you get the bag?"

"Oh I made it in sixth year" said Granger. Oh my god she's a genius.

"How much space does it have?" asked Daphne. Clearly room for robes.

"Oh. About a cubic yard. It was supposed to have a Strowager's selector charm but I couldn't get that not to clash with the space expansion and featherlight, so I dumped it." said Granger.

Daphne looked at the tiny bag. That Granger had made in sixth year. That held… about eight trunks worth. A covetous desire filled her. Of to have that bag. Or perhaps, one a little more to her taste.

"I"ll um send you the sources I used of the space expansion charms" said Granger.

"How about you sell space expanded bags, as the usual sources charge hundreds of galleons for a bag that's not a patch in this. It's got an arbitrary intake enchantment, doesn't it?"

"Well it'd be useless without one, and I couldn't possibly sell bags. I've got a job at the ministry." said Granger.

"Well you should find some poor muggle-born good at charms and runes and employ them to make bags." said Daphne politely. "Yours is very good, and you could make space-expanded bags big again."

"I couldn't run my own business" said Granger. And did not spot the pun.

"You're much more hard-working than Harry, you could do it, and employ some of those… unfortunates" said Daphne.

After Hermione had apparated away from the back lawn, Potter said "Harder working than Harry?"

"Well you do little" said Daphne.

"Observe, clean house" said Harry pointing up.

Daphne looked up, and the house was clean. "Oh" she said "Well done."

"I did old Mrs Wright's apartment roof too" said Harry casually.

"How?"

"Broom and invisibility cloak" said Harry.

"You can't go buying invisibility cloaks" said Daphne "Our income is not enormous." Good lord he was like a spoilt idiot child.

"I own one, it's a family heirloom on the Potter side" said Potter.

"So it's worn out?" asked Daphne.

"No, it's perfect" said Potter "The best invisibility cloak you'd ever see, and don't mention it."

"It's a secret?" asked Daphne.

"Hermione and Ron know, and Hagrid, nobody else alive" said Potter "And Hagrid doesn't know it's anything special" said Potter quietly, and led Daphne inside, closing the doors. He'd made a metal door, as she'd asked. Even though it was practically impossible.

"The doors are good" said Daphne, touching the boiler-room door; it was warm but not as hot. She opened the door and using her wand, lit the room up "Oh, yes, put some lamps up in the passage and the stairs, Harry."

"They'll have to be wonky, creepy old snake lamps" said Potter.

"It's the back passage, nobody cares" said Daphne "Safer at night to have lights"

After Potter was back inside with Daphne he said "Sit down, Daphne, I've got a story to tell you."

"Harry, it takes bloody ages to add up the rental income and expenses, I have to get back to it" said Daphne.

"Can we afford an accountant?" asked Potter.

"We can hardly afford a book-keeper" said Daphne "We… need to get more tenants paying their rent."

"Take me, I'll fix things in a non-menial way" said Potter. "Hermione's going to send me a book about business and money and things"

"Well maybe you can learn enough to help" said Daphne. Not holding out much hope.

"I'm not stupid" said Potter crossly "I just don't have any idea what any of this is about."

"Well I've got sums to do, see you at dinner" said Daphne and grumpily apparated away to spend time adding knuts into monthly balance sheets.

Three weeks later, quite near her birthday actually, Potter came to the office and gave her a very heavy parcel the size of a stack of ledgers. Daphne hoped it wasn't more accounts. She might do something reckless.

"It's a present for you" said Potter "For your birthday, but I thought you might want it early" If it was a second set of ledgers, with millions of galleons, Daphne thought, that would be nice, though she'd been working hard on the business for half a year, so Potter would be lucky not to be hexed. Boils to the groin. Yes.

Potter hung around waiting, so she opened the box and there was a thing. Some muggle contraption.

Daphne was just confused "What does it do?" she asked.

Potter explained that it was a calculating machine, and gave her a flimsy book that explained it. Daphne skimmed the first few pages. It was some sort of clockwork abacus.

"It adds up" she said. Great. Bloody useless muggle junk.

"And multiples and divides" said Potter, and explained how with patience, you could do all your money sums in knuts and divide out galleons and sickles.

Daphne doubted such a thing could work. Potter clumsily, referring to the booklet (clearly simple enough that a Gryffindor quidditch player could understand it) demonstrated taking a large sum and dividing it into sickles, and knuts. Potter completed the task, once he'd dialled in the number, in a minute of handle-turning activity. It was like a fruit-mangle for numbers.

Daphne sighed and let it stay.

Once Potter had left, she tried adding numbers, using last month's figures in knuts. The calculation machine ate the job up like… a good big fruit mangle crushing gooseberries. For completeness, Daphne divided out sickles and knuts… and two minutes later had the bottom line from last month.

Daphne rearranged her desk, calculator in easy reach, and started doing this weeks' ledger differently – everything into knuts, using the calculator's multiplicative powers. She had the weeks deposits and payments to date in knuts in less than an hour. She started the comparatively laborious process of adding them up using the calculator.

It was nearly lunchtime when the machine's dials showed the number of galleons to date for the week . But… this had been a week worth of sums. Not the monthly totals, but… that would only take a few minutes. Daphne wrote the number down. And swallowed. He'd… he'd made the most annoying part of her job fairly painless. Best birthday present ever.

Daphne went to her room, put on her favourite blue robe and apparated down to the front hall. She saw Potter standing around waiting, and could not resist running over, sizing his shoulders and kissing him on the lips. Not more than a 'thank-you' kiss, of course. Daphne stepped back, and Potter once again looked confused.

"I've finished the weeks accounts in two hours. It was taking days. That was the best present ever. And magic won't make it break?" she said.

"It's all clockwork" said Potter. Which Daphne thought meant 'no.'

"You're coming with me to see tenants all week Lots to fix" said Daphne.
Her… their tenants were star-truck at meeting the Harry Potter. Potter was… he grew more closed off and stiffly polite. It could look like arrogance, thought Daphne. But it was just Potter not being good at putting tenants at their ease.. Daphne demonstrated over and over again. Potter looked at her oddly. Once again the Gryffindor was confused. It's not like one does tenant management by yelling at them, or hexing them. No matter how much one wants to.
Potter was quite good, she noticed at fixing things discreetly. It would save piles of galleons.

She went to mummy's for her birthday party, invited all the girls, and had cake. She didn't bother taking Potter, it would only be awkward. Awkward was sitting in bed that night, in her wedding night robes, waiting for Potter to turn up.

Once twelve-thirty rolled around, Daphne cast a locking spell on her bedroom door, got out of bed, and angrily got into her nightdress, and went to bed. Not that she'd wanted Potter to come and deflower her or anything. But he might expect to, because it was a birthday.

And Potter took an afternoon the next day to fly over and repair-charm roofs, while Daphne… took a little trip to Malfoy Manor and had a very long hot swim, and soaked. Which was very nice.

On Friday night, Daphne had Kreacher serve desert; treacle tart.

Potter's face lit up like… a child at Christmas.

"I know you like it, I can't stand it" she said "But your mechanical calculator has saved me days of work every week, and made time to visit so many tenants"

"Nine" said Potter "We visited nine" He was such a whiner.

"And they've owled" said Daphne.

"I didn't see the letters?" said Potter.

"Kreacher puts business post on my desk" said Daphne. "Next week I can start on that list of vacant properties."

"Next week?" asked Potter

"I'm taking the weekend off" said Daphne, assertively. She quite fancied a bit of riding with mummy, more swimming, a trip to the bookstore.

"You what?" asked Potter, in a tone of disbelief. Like he ever works weekends.

"I'm making good progress – " said Daphne apologetically.

"You take every weekend off or else" said Potter unexpectedly "You work hard, you need to take a weekend off."

"Is than an order?" asked Daphne drily.

"A request." said Potter, looking rather tall, aristocratic and… frowning at her. Like he was thinking something or other

-==0==-

Potter offered to set a beach chair up in the courtyard for Daphne.

She declined.

Hours later, she looked out her bedroom window and saw something in the courtyard. She apparated and walked and found a beach chair, a low table and glass of juice in the courtyard, the roses were just blooming.

Well, the new romance would… be a good read outside.

Daphne carefully folded pages over at the good bits as she read outside in the sun. The juice was nice too, and the roses were just starting to spread some scent.

At Dinner Potter idly mentioned that he'd recoloured the second floor using the designs she'd left and the colour book. While… she'd read a novel.

As dinner drew towards an end, Daphne thought about her life. The way Potter had just saved her hours every day. Had cut the cost of keeping the tenants houses repaired, had mostly mended Grimmauld place, and could clearly repair a crumbling ruin.

And worked Saturdays and expected her not to. Cleaned with chemicals, and expected her not to.

She had more time and was… being treated with kid gloves. Oh god, Potter wanted to knock her up already. There really was time for it, actually. And money would be a little tight but… enough.

He was railroading her into motherhood. The inconsiderate arsehole.

Daphne couldn't' help snapping at him… she was NOT ready to be a mother. Or… do that with him.

After complaining about many little things, Potter was sitting oddly still, and Daphne wanted to get to some big ones. The Enrumpet in the room. The big red-haired, quidditch playing enrumpet.

"I suppose you're still pining over that Weasley girl?" asked Daphne.

"I was going to ask her … some time" said Potter. And even for Potter that sounded incoherent.

"And now you're stuck with me" said Daphne bitterly. "What am I supposed to do for love" she said very bluntly.

"None of my business" said Potter. And that was the understatement of the century.

Daphne's iron self-control snapped, and she went on a rant about her ruined life. Her admittedly limited expectations pre-contract, and how it was all ruined.

Frankly she would have been better off it Potter had died at the Dark Lord's hand, and Malfoy married her sister. And technically her.

"So what, you want a baby?" asked Potter. He had the brains of a flobberworm.

"No" said Daphne "I don't. I will need to birth one before I'm too old, and before father dies, or my cousin, who's an idiot will run the family into the ground. Given the flimsy state of this family's finances, not for years. Until then, I'll be a princess in a tower. Locked away, a virgin."

Potter blushed.

"Well you've shagged Weasley, so you want her as a mistress, I suppose" said Daphne "She's a liability as a mistress, far too brash to keep her arse out of the newspaper."

"You can... meet someone in Paris" said Potter.

"Paris!" said Daphne "Have you any idea how famous my sister and I are now?"

"What?" said Potter. He obviously needed a practical demonstration.

Daphne apparated away to her room got her coat, and went out to get the latest Teen Witch Weekly.

She flooed home and apparated back to the dining room, dropped a Teen Witch Weekly on Harry's lap. There was a photograph of Daphne and Astoria, out somewhere in robes. The headline screamed "England's richest wives and their fashion choices." They'd been shopping for novels, if Daphne remembered correctly.

"Every month, we're on the cover at least once" said Daphne. "I was going to go to a fundraiser of St Mungo's, but the bloody press would have hounded me"

"Famous?" asked Harry bloody Potter, order of Merlin, head of the Black family.

"We might have a small income, but you know we've got a lot of gold… and you're the most famous wizard alive" said Daphne, irritated.

"But I'm not on the covers" said Potter.

"Because you never go anywhere public" said Daphne irritated "The French Teen-Witch weekly is worse. They had paparazzi following us everywhere in Paris. We were on the cover and had bloody articles discussing what we'd bought every shop we went to, all week."

"You didn't complain" said Potter. Merlin give me some self-control, I beg you.

"I didn't complain because I got a bloody huge discount." said Daphne "Shops started owling me , asking me to visit and be photographed at their shops, and in return, most of that stuff was half price or less. The restaurants let us dine for free."

"So you couldn't meet someone" said Potter.

"If I talked to a wizard, the next newspaper had a front page about my new affair" said Daphne "So no, that won't be happening."

"I didn't shag Ginny Weasley" said Potter defensively.

"Well Dean and Michael both did, if the stories are true." said Daphne bitterly.

Potter looked at her looking a little sad, like he often did.

"You're taking that well" said Daphne "Some other witch as well huh?"

"No, I just, I dunno" said Potter "I never expected any of this stuff and I just don't know what to do."

"Well I was raised to expect my husband to be … probably my choice, and certainly attentive. You wouldn't even hold my hand if I was getting into a carriage, and you never push my chair in" said Daphne.

"Of I'm sorry I'm not like Lucius Malfoy" said Potter.

"I'm glad you're not" said Daphne "The rumours are that he liked young girls, and abducted muggles and then disposed of them."

Potter's eyes got awfully distant for a moment. "Having been imprisoned at Malfoy Manor, it's possible. They had a dungeon" said Potter.

Daphne paled "It's true?" Oh god, maybe marrying Malfoy wouldn't have been so good for Tori.

"I dunno, Hermione was tortured by Bellatrix for information, and Luna had been imprisoned with Olivander for a while" said Potter, like he was listing the league quidditch results.

"Granger was tortured by Bellatrix LeStrange" said Daphne hollowly. She… Granger was fine though. She had a job, and no obvious scars.

"I don't like thinking about it, okay" said Potter.

"Why did they have this Luna?" asked Daphne.

"Lovegood" said Potter "Her father published The Quibbler, the only free newspaper at the time, so they took his daughter prisoner to silence him."

"They blew up his house" said Daphne. She could remember that.

"That was us" admitted Potter "He was selling us out to the Death Eaters to get Luna back, and we needed a distraction to escape."

"Do you still hate him?" asked Daphne.

"No" said Potter "He's not me, he needed Luna back, she's his only family. I always wanted a family."

"We can't have one till the business settles down and, you take over some of the work" said Daphne. "Thought that calculator machine is a miracle. I've got three more days in every week."

Daphne stopped to think about Mr Lovegood, his captured daughter.

"What would you have done, if you'd been him?" asked Daphne.

"Stormed Malfoy manor, killed everyone and burnt it to the ground" said Potter, in a tone that… He wasn't joking. He could just say 'storm their manor, kill everyone and burn it to the ground' like he was thinking 'The green wallpaper in the third bathroom?'

"Would you do that for me?" asked Daphne.

"Nobody would try" said Potter. "Nobody's that stupid and dangerous enough to get away with it, they'd have to get past your Auror escort first"

"What escort?" said Daphne. An Auror escort, that was news to her.

"The one Kingsley assigned you the day we got married" said Potter.

"As a favour to you, because you're the great Harry Potter" said Daphne.

"No" said Potter "You are my family, and I've only got you three, but that's not why. To keep stupid idiots alive. England couldn't stand the great Harry Potter going around blowing up peoples homes."

"You wouldn't. You're a good man" said Daphne.

"I killed my first man when I was eleven" said Potter "If someone took Teddy… I would snap." Harry's fingers curled into white knuckled fists. He looked about ready to cast dark curses, just thinking about it. With his cheekbones and oddly coloured eyes, he looked rather a lot like the head of some old and dangerous family. Even if he didn't look like a Black, the look on his face was pure… angry dangerous wizard.

"You did not say me" said Daphne, trying not to panic…he wouldn't kill her, would he?

"You weren't my first choice" said Potter "I'd get you back though. I'd probably negotiate a little, and you're a grown witch, I'd expect you'd make any abductors' life hell, describing how they were going to die. I've already chosen to save you once, it would make it all rather pointless if I didn't do it again."

"You would save me?" asked Daphne. He would leave her with kidnappers for some time!

"I have what Hermione calls a saving people thing. I saved you once, I'd save you again. Then I'd probably do things to them, so that you didn't rip into me when we got home" said Potter, sounding suddenly like daddy discussing not annoying mummy. But still looking quite dangerous.

"Weren't you always going to be an Auror?" asked Daphne. That was a persistent rumour.

"McGonagall asked me when I was fifteen. I had no bloody idea" said Potter "And since then, I don't like the legal system much; I'm still annoyed this could even happen." The way he said annoyed sounded like if he saw the the ministry to the ground he'd bring marshmallows.

Daphne felt it was time to try an argument her grandmother had given to her before her wedding to Mr 'I'll storm their manor and kill them all, burn it to the ground.'

"Well you could appeal, but any court would take into account the principle of sine plinus piscus, you ended up richer and married to an eligible pure-blood witch, so the actions of Narcissa can't be seen as detrimental" said Daphne.

"Pockets of ?" asked Potter. Surely he spoke latin? How could you cast spells otherwise?

"Pockets full of fish; if a man is pushed into a lake and comes out with fish in his pockets, the man who pushed him in enriched him" said Daphne, she smirked "you might say, I'm a catch."

"Ohhh" groaned Potter, in genuine agony "If I told them about that pun, I'd have a good case"

"You'd be left gaping like a fish out of water" said Daphne. Potter's eyes – glinted. What?

"You think you're punny?" said Potter. "I've haddock with your jokes."

"Oh" said Daphne "I just can't be bothered with you." His pun was terrible. This conversation was ended.

"Lucky me" said Harry. "I know my plaice." Oh god he just kept going.

"Oh don't kid yourself. If I wanted you, you'd be putty in my hands" said Daphne.

"No I wouldn't" said Potter

"Tight jeans and high-heeled boots" said Daphne "I've seen you ogling"

"I think it's not ogling when it's your own wife" said Potter, smirking.

"Well, much as you getting your jollies appeals to you, I've no interest. I'd like to be loved" said Daphne.

"Same thing isn't it?" asked Potter. What?

"Lust is not love" said Daphne. "Love, that warm feeling that fills you" said Daphne, staring critically at Potter. Surely he wasn't that brain-dead.

Potter struggled to reply "I, um… dunno. Never felt that" he said, looking away.

"But your … relatives… you must have ..." said Daphne.

"No" said Potter "They resented having me in their house and never cared if I lived or died."

"Weasley's luckier than me" said Daphne "You've no idea what love even is."

"I've had the feeling, in my chest, when Ginny was snogging Dean… I was angry." said Potter.

"Oh you can do jealousy, great" said Daphne sarcastically. "I married the hairy hearted warlock."

"The what?"

"It's a Beedle story, everyone knows them" said Daphne.

"I know the tale of three brothers, it's about my ancestor" said Potter "Never heard of the other one"

"It's in the library, every house has a copy."

And what the hell was he on about, that the Tale of the Three Brothers was about his ancestor?

-==0==-

At breakfast, Potter apologised to Daphne.

"I'm sorry Daphne, I read the story and thought about it and I really don't have any idea what love is" said Potter. And that was a rather tragically horrible thing for him to be able to say. Even Nott's mother loved him.

Daphne sighed "Harry, you're the one with a messed up childhood, and you're apologising to me. Does anything make you feel that warm inside?"

"Um… holding Teddy does" said Potter, visibly cheering up.

"Well go spend more time holding Teddy. Get some hair off that hairy heart of yours."

Potter spent the weekend with Teddy.

By Sunday dinnertime, Daphne was surprised to see Andromeda and Teddy at the dinner table.

"Aunt Walburga would hardly recognise some of the house" said Andromeda charitably. Daphne waved her wand and moved her place setting to Potter's end; and sat next to Teddy. Who was very cute.

"Harry seems to be quite fond of Teddy" said Andromeda "You two are having problems."

"We didn't expect the other" said Potter.

Daphne said, quite evenly "I was raised to expect a dynastic marriage, a contracted one as a worst case. Harry's not from our culture. We have differences of opinion."

"Daphne says I'm the chap from the warlocks hairy heart" said Potter. "My relatives never loved me and resented me; and they shared that with me."

"Surely you've grown out of that" said Andromeda.

"The only love he's felt is for Teddy and his friends" said Daphne bluntly "So I said, spend more time with him… he's adorable" she observed, and smiled at sweet little Teddy.

"I was brought up to do what you did, Daphne, but I ran away and married Ted. My parents would never have let him in the house, let alone marry me" said Andromeda, looking sad. "Aunt Walburga was the one that put all the hutches up here. She didn't like having paintings on the wall in the dining room, apparently."

"What was here before that?" asked Potter, letting Teddy grab his finger with his tiny, chubby fist.

"I don't know. My father told that part of the story, but I never heard the rest" said Andromeda. "It all happened before I was born. Orion married Walburga… she was a lot older and remade Grimmauld place in her taste. Uncle Orion didn't seem to have any taste, he was stiff, bookish man who was always working on the accounts."

Daphne smiled "Well, Harry had a bright idea, and now I can get them done in two hours a week."

"I like Harry, but how can Harry change something that seemed to keep uncle busy all week into a two-hour job?" asked Andromeda.

"Harry got me a muggle calculator. An older one made of clockwork. It can add up numbers, and that'd would be a small saving, but it can also multiply and divide. I do all the sums in knuts and divide out the galleons at the end." said Daphne, smiling. "I hardly know myself."

"I made her take a weekend off" said Potter "She needed a break." And again he was cosseting her, which was strange. He wasn't angling to make her pregnant or anything , so why?

"Well, that's very... enterprising." said Andromeda.

"It was my birthday present from Harry" said Daphne. "And really, it's better than a book or chocolates."

"You must show me this… calculator later" said Andromeda. "Could your father do with one?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that" said Daphne. "I've only had it a little while."

"They're not made any more" interjected Potter "I found that one in an antique shop."

"Well it would be a very thoughtful gift Harry for your father-in-law." said Andromeda.

"I'll make inquiries" said Potter. "Maybe Christies can help."

"The auction house?" asked Andromeda.

Daphne launched into a cheerful rendition of Harry selling coaches for tens of thousands of galleons.

"They were just out the back?" asked Andromeda "I didn't know we had a back."

That set Potter to laughing. "You tell the story of the back door" said Potter "I'm too..."

"Soiled by it?" asked Daphne.

By the end of the story, Andromeda wanted to see it for herself. To avoid upsetting Teddy, they walked.

"Oh, that's why the hutch was pulled out" said Andromeda. "And the door was just here all along"

"The sludge wave was here once Harry broke the door" said Daphne "It was ever so smelly."

Andromeda couldn't resist asking what was behind the warm and metal doors, respectively.

"Coal?" she said "This really was a muggle house once?"

"We're burning it now" said Daphne "Saves a bit of gold."

"And the boiler's magical?" said Andromeda.

"Magical fire in a muggle boiler" said Potter.

"That Harry fixed" said Daphne "The hot water's actually hot now. And takes a lot less time to get hot."

"I insulated some pipes" said Potter awkwardly.

"And this passage was full of slime?"

"Utterly awful" said Daphne "My sister and I were on the other side of the clear wall Harry made, all of us wearing bubble-head charms, and then the wave of filth knocked Harry off his feet.

"Why though?" asked Andromeda.

Potter opened the back door "These stairs go up to the back courtyard. There was no roof left and it filled with rain, soot, leaves and rotted the back door off."

"Harry replaced all of it and made the metal door at the top" said Daphne, and they went up to the top door, which Harry swing open.

"A metal door?" asked Andromeda "Why has it got holes."

"Harry made it from the metal scraps in the courtyard. Bits were left over from the muggle war. Harry cut it all up and made a door. Transfiguring steel is very difficult." said Daphne.

"I was always told it was nearly impossible" said Andromeda sotto voce, walking onto the path.

"So that's a coach house, the green door?" she asked.

"Where Harry found three coaches" said Daphne.

"They were three different kinds" said Potter.

"Grass" said Teddy.

"Was this grassed?" asked Andromeda, looking around.

"Cursed and rubbish. Harry planted the roses here" said Daphne, and she inhaled. A different rose scent to Harry's conjured ones. Harry's mothers roses smelt rather good.

"Well, Neville Longbottom did the actual rose planting, I'm just looking after them" said Potter.

"What's in the coach-house?" asked Andromeda.

"Large doors onto the back lane" said Potter "The building was charmed muggle repelling, now the inner wall is, and the doors, so I can get deliveries."

"Like the back door, and the roof for the stairs" said Potter.

"Harry's rather handy" said Andromeda "If I need things done, I'll owl."

"Harry's been fixing our tenanted properties, I'm giving him a list of vacant ones, maybe he can fix them."

"So he doesn't really do… nothing" said Andromeda, looking at Grimmauld place "It's… clean?"

"Broom while invisible" said Potter casually "Took a few hours."

"You reminded me, Harry, thank you for cleaning the outside of the windows. All the rooms are a lot brighter." said Daphne. "I don't understand how the inner bedrooms are ever expected to get light; thought the fourth floor windows being clean light the stairwell much better."

"We always envied Sirius's room" said Andromeda "So light. And his bathroom has a window."

"He what?" said Daphne. "Harry… we need to talk rooms." His bally bathroom has a view! It's probably not damp either.

"You've got the master bedroom, it's huge" said Potter.

"Did you ever tidy up… those pictures" asked Andromeda.

Potter smirked "My room is completely suitable for polite company" he said.

"We're going to go see Harry's room" said Andromeda to Teddy.

"Flower" said Teddy, waving at a rosebush along the wall from Andromeda's arms.

They went back down the stairs "So what do you keep in the coach house now?" asked Andromeda as they walked.

"Tools, paint. There's an old workbench." said Potter "It's my workshop. Much less messy than doing things in the kitchen."

"Like tidal waves of rotting leaves" said Daphne. The sight of Potter covered in muck was a good memory.

After two flights of stairs, they took a pause. "Why are the doors all like this" said Andromeda "I hadn't noticed as a child, but they stop, and there is always that weird wooden thing over the door, all the interior doors look like that.

Potter walked over to the office door and tapped the wood with his wand "Finite" he said.

The wooden panel fell off; there was a window under it.

"Transom windows?" said Andromeda "Why would we have covered those over?"

"So there's another wood panel stuck on the inside?" asked Daphne.

Potter opened the office door and with a thud and a curse from Potter, the window showed light on both sides the door of the first time in a long time. Oh sweet Morgana light in the bally office.

"You can see the light from the fireplace" said Andromeda "The Nursery must be like this too."

"Well, with wood, it's more secure" said Potter, picking up the panel and trying to bend it "Charmed impervious." he said.

"Harry Dear, can you get all those down before looking at properties" said Daphne. He could fix the bally house properly. She'd been sitting without natural light for months, and it was all his fault.

"They'll transfigure into good picture frames" said Potter.

"You can do that after you've fixed some properties" said Daphne. He needed to get some more rentals happening. They walked upstairs, Andromeda remarking "Daphne, you're quite the taskmaster."

"As if" said Daphne. Potter was an uncontrollable jerk.

"Daffee" said Teddy. Daphne frowned, but picked up the Teddy she was handed by Potter.

For such a small boy he resembled a sack of knuts. "He's heavy" she observed. Potter dashed up the stairs. In those tight blue trousers.

The skylight over the stairwell let in a lot of light now. And the Drawing room windows let in muggle light, in strange bluish white colours.

"You can see the lights of London" said Andromeda "It was like this when I was a little girl, but it's lighter now."

"More lights out there, and clean windows" said Potter.

Andromeda and Daphne inspected Harry's bathroom. Which had a nice view dammit.

"Harry has flowers in his bathroom?" asked Andromeda.

"Every room. Two days, new flowers" said Daphne. "Harry's ridiculous orchidaceous has some uses. Your bathroom is unfairly light. I'd lie in the bath and watch the lights."

"I do" said Potter. "It's very nice" he added smugly. Prick. Her bathroom was cold and damp.

"Sirius was like this" said Andromeda. "We always got the blue bedroom on the second floor."

"All three of you?" asked Potter.

"Aunt Walburga used to say it was a bigger room, so we could all fit" said Andromeda, looking wistful.

Daphne turned and took Teddy to Harry's bedroom.

"Windows on three sides. You're swapping" said Daphne. The views were glorious. She could lie in the sun and read. In bed. Oh… the bliss.

"There's not room for your bedroom parlour here" said Potter. "Sloping walls."

"Has Harry shown you the secret doors?" asked Andromeda.

"What secret doors?" asked Potter.

Andromeda pushed on a wall panel and it swung open, revealing a triangular closet, useless at the top, deep at the bottom. "Really you don't need a wardrobe in this room. Sirius and Regulus used to keep their toys in these, and hide things they didn't want people finding in the ones behind the wardrobes. I thought you knew about them?"

"We will explore them tomorrow after breakfast" said Daphne firmly

"Well I'd better take heir Black home, he's too tired" said Andromeda.

"I can carry him" said Daphne.

"I'll carry him" said Potter. "I like carrying Teddy"

"When you can spare Harry, he can look after Teddy. He's changed nappies, so feeding's next." said Andromeda, as they traipsed down to the kitchen and watched Andromeda floo away.

"Harry, you're not looking in them" said Daphne.

"Yes" said Potter, in a snide tone. He was going to have a stupid adventure while she slept, Daphne just knew it.

Daphne followed Potter back upstairs, cast "Pertificus Totalis." at his back before he did something reckless.

She'd defeated Harry Potter, it had been trivial. Daphne levitated him onto his bed and removed his shoes, pulling the eiderdown over him "I know you, you'd open them, find something dangerous and get injured while I'm sleeping. This way, I can be there to get you to St Mungos."

"This is totally unfair" said Potter.

"Well Harry," said Daphne, leaning down and whispering in his ear "I'm going to go to bed, where I'll put on a scandalous nightgown and then I'm going to pleasure myself."

Potter went red in the face. Daphne stood up and laughed "Harry you're such a prude. Women masturbate just as much as men" she said.

"Don't talk about it" said Potter vehemently.

"Oh Merlin you were raised by complete monsters. How have you not exploded?" asked Daphne, leaving. As she closed the door she said "you're the most messed up man I've ever met."

"Well if you thought your name was freak till you were five and lived in a cupboard, you'd be no better" retorted Potter. WHAT IN GODS NAME!

Daphne turned and came rushed back into the room and with a flick, cancelled Harry's petrification "They what?" she asked staring intently.

"I shouldn't have said" said Potter angrily. Fuck. He'd been abused. Oh no wonder he never talks about them, acts weird about things. Daphne took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"You're coming with me, we're off to St Mungos" said Daphne.

"It's late" said Potter.

"They're always open" said Daphne "And you need professional help."

Potter snarled "Because I'm mad. I don't do what you like, so now you'll get me locked up for being mad, is that it?"

He - he had been abused. The angry denials. Oh god. And he was a ridiculously powerful wizard too. He'd be worse than Voldemort if he snapped.

"No, you're upset and need a professional to talk to. They can take your statement and then your awful relatives can be prosecuted for child abuse." said Daphne. Call a spade a spade. Grandmother said that was the way. Then she called great-grandmama an unreconstructed Grindelwald supporter. Which wasn't true. Grandpapa had been, but after the war he never spoke of it again. Did a lot of fishing….

"Prosecute my relatives?" asked Potter. "Can that be a thing?"

"You're the most famous wizard in England. Of course it can" said Daphne. 'Shack' could do it by Ministerial decree in necessary.

Daphne went by floo to St Mungos, following Harry, and after the welcome witch gave them celebrity treatment, the clipboard filled in for them,and Harry and Daphne were taken to a private room where a middle-aged male healer in green robes turned up and closed the door.

"What seems to be the problem" said the Healer.

Daphne explained that Harry's family had been abusive. Harry explained that he had deserved some of it for being difficult. The healer asked Daphne to step outside.

Quite a bit later, the Healer came out and said quietly "I've given your husband some potion. He's unconscious now, and may need a few days to recover. I trust you can cope?"

"I'll... bring some things for him" said Daphne. This is what it's like being an adult, thought Daphne.

"He'll be out of it for days. But I'm sure he'd appreciate clean clothes to go home in." said the Healer.

Daphne went home and Grimmauld place suddenly seemed very empty.

Daphne apparated up to his bedroom – which smelled of him a bit, and searched his drawers.

He kept his pants in the top left, apparently. And they were very… utilitarian pants.

She tossed a pair on the bed, and found socks the next drawer right.

The rightmost drawer had a tiny collection of ties and cuff-links. And folded up neatly was Uncle Regulus's Slytherin tie. Daphne itched to add it to the pile, but he would not wear it. Socks, and some clean trousers, dark-coloured ones. Daphne felt the fabric. They were quite soft.

The second later of drawers had his horrible t-shirts, neatly folded. He'd folded them so you could read the fronts. The grey one that read 'I defeated the dark lord' stood out . Well, he'd earned it. Daphne carried it to the pile. Potter was far tidier than she expected a man who basically lived alone would be. Her underwear drawer was nowhere near as organised.

I could get him to organise it thought Daphne. He would die of embarrassment , especially sorting her lingerie. The hilariously red face he'd had. If she hadn't teased him about masturbation… he wouldn't have snapped, and… still be messed up. St Mungos would help him. They would treat him responsibly, she was sure. Daphne went looking for a half-robe in his wardrobe and found a quite nice one that would go with the trousers well. And people could see his t-shirt. Potter would appreciate that. And the silly pointy shoes from the bottom of his wardrobe he'd kept from Sirius Black. Daphne conjured a bag for his clothes and took it with her to her bedroom and started getting ready for bed.

Poor bloody Potter, no wonder he was odd.

-==0==-

The next day ,with the calculating machines' help she had a bit of spare time to go shopping. A witch might need a new novel, perhaps. Maybe a present for Potter in hospital.

Madame Malkins was having a sale. Daphne went in looked at the sale racks.

A pair of black boxer shorts with pink hearts on them caught her eye. Totally inappropriate, and… the look on Potter's face as he opened his clothes bag at St Mungos and found them … his discomfort. Oh, it was worth it!

And thus Daphne dropped off a rather humorous bundle of clothes for Harry Potter.

Who was in a private room, and unconscious right now. Daphne was led in by a tired-looking medi-witch. Potter looked – she looked away. Potter looked wrong. He wasn't just asleep, he was lying like blancmange on the bed.

"He's not hurt" said the witch earnestly "It's just… a medical coma. We did some tests after the first round of treatment and… he needed a few more rounds."

"For what exactly?" asked Daphne.

The witch shut the door. "You'd know of course. He has er, deep-seated anger from a terrible upbringing. We're clearing that out, we'll stop once his temper's inside a normal range."

Daphne put the clothes in Potter's bedside cupboard, and swiped a grape from the plate of fruit.

"My husband's temper has always been under control at home" said Daphne precisely.

"And… of course it was" said the medi-witch. "He's Harry Potter. He wouldn't do anything wrong."

Unless he was wronged, then heaven help you, thought Daphne.

"Do you want to sit with him?" asked the witch. Daphne turned and looked at Potter – and had to look away. He looked so… dead.

"I don't want to see him like this" said Daphne.

"We'll owl you when he's ready to come home" said the witch.

"The healer said two days" said Daphne.

"Well ,that was before. More like three or four."

Daphne left, and went home to try out that bathroom, she had just the bubble-bath for the job.

Beforehand, she sent a few letters. Copies really to Potter's closest friends.

'12 Grimmauld Place

–– –––– ––––,

Dear Aunt Andromeda,

Harry is suffering the effects of his terrible upbringing.

I took him to St Mungos, where he is being treated this week, he is unconscious for most of it.

I am assured he will more than recover.

Sincerely,

Daphne Black.

P.S. Luncheons with Edward are delightful, do drop by.'

'12 Grimmauld Place

–– –––– ––––,

Miss Granger,

Harry is suffering the effects of his terrible upbringing.

I took him to St Mungos, where he is being treated this week, he is unconscious for most of it.

I am assured he will more than recover.

Sincerely,

Daphne Black.

P.S Bag business, witches need better than is available.'

-==0==-

Granger sent a reply, and included copies of the space-expansion charms she'd used, and had organised it rather well. Daphne experimentally space-expanded the pockets in the muggle jeans. And they didn't even catch fire. The pockets were, while not the immense vault Grange lugged around, quite usefully large. That raised a question that Granger could probably answer about pockets in muggle women's clothes. Some of the dresses from Harrods had no pockets whatsoever. And some had pockets that were… sewn shut and there was no actual pocket. Daphne spent a bit of time that would have been wasted getting changed every day, in and out of muggle clothes to enchant pockets. She got two done that day, and four the next, and after five days, had even thought to space expand both the pockets in the soft knit trousers with the fluffy, warm inner lining, but the pouch in the front of the matching tunic – and, in what Daphne thought modestly, was a stroke of genius, the hood of the tunic also, so one's hair didn't get scrunched up if one wanted to lie on the couch and be warm. Sarah had recommended them for bad monthlies, and they were superior for days with painful cramps. Daphne sent a question to Granger by owl about the pockets thing, and the bloody owl bit her.

St Mungos sent a letter after six days that Harry Potter might be coming home tomorrow. Ginny Weasley had sent several letters, which made pretty little fires.

Granger had replied that pockets in muggle women's clothes were often ornamental, and that it was annoying.

Andromeda had come for lunch and decided she would recover Potter, while Daphne go some work done and Molly Weasley looked after Teddy.

Kreacher informed her that Master had returned, and Daphne only had a few more cranks to go to get a result, so she finished the calculation, wrote the result down carefully and apparated to the fourth floor landing.

Potter was lying on his bed, in pointy shoes and comedy t-shirt, looking very tired.

Daphne arrived and said "When are we going to look."

"Harry wants a nap" said Andromeda "After that, you might have an adventure."