Sakurabana: So Sasuke, how have your showers been? Any pictures or snaps going off?
Sasuke: No, but that could be because of… :glances at Naruto and blushes: Naruto's been staying over my house…
Naruto: A-And watching him!
Sasuke:slaps forehead:
Sakurabana: YOU WATCH UCHIHA SASUKE TAKE SHOWERS!
Naruto:turning crimson: N-N-No! That's not what I meant! I-I just hop on in and…
Sakurabana: OH MY GOD:nose bleed:
Naruto: Wait I said that wrong!
Sasuke: You're saying everything wrong, baka!
Naruto: Shut up Sasuke! What I meant was that… uh… well, instead I might sleep with him and…
Sakurabana:waterfall of blood: WHAT:drools:
Sasuke: YOU BAKA! WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT OUT SEX LIFE!
Sakurabana:faints:
Sasuke and Naruto:look down upon the fallen Sakurabana:
Naruto: Ahh, now look what you did.
Sasuke: I-I didn't do it. You did, dobe.
Naruto: DON'T CALL ME THAT!
Kakashi:walks in and sees blood everywhere along with a blood covered Sakurabana: WHAT IN NINE HELLS IS GOING ON IN HERE!
Naruto: Uh-uh…. Sakurabana doesn't own anything and yeah, she hopes you will enjoy the fic:starts to run away:
Kakashi: Naruto! Get back here! You have a lot of explaining to do!
Freaky Ninja
(SasuNaru)
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Walking into the house, he noticed it was unusually clean. Well, I guess when you didn't have a lot of things; it'd be hard to dirty the place up. He gazed around and took in a couple of deep breaths. It smelled like him. The very hypnotic smell that had him locked in its spell.
The kitchen was a table the separated itself from the living room/bedroom. He walked over and saw the old milk carton that was two weeks expired. He sighed and threw it away. Looks like he'd be eating out for a while.
He walked over to the bed and sat down. It was really hard and lumpy, possibly even more so than the expired milk. He bounced up and down a few times until finally he felt springs give way. The bed shuttered a little and he got up and decided to never do that again.
Walking around trying to find food, he noticed that the only thing in his cupboard was instant ramen. He sighed and asked himself, "How much goddam ramen does that boy eat?"
He closed the cupboard door and turned on his heel and walked out of the 'kitchen'. Somehow, seeing ramen pissed him off. He didn't know why. Maybe it was because he acted like ramen was more important his feelings. Like he loved ramen more than him. Wait, what was he saying? He wasn't sure that he liked him. He never admitted to liking him. Sure, he liked him, but that didn't mean that he had the same feelings for him. He didn't think that in a million years, Naruto would return his feelings.
But it was strange how he didn't pull back whenever he kissed him. It was Sasuke's own test. A test to see if Naruto actually liked him the same way Sasuke liked him. But instead of yes or no or pass or fail, Naruto stumped Sasuke.
Sasuke shook his head. He walked towards the door and turned to doorknob. There was one person that he might be able to ask. Even if he didn't really like the idea of asking for help, he was completely lost on this one. He did need it, even if he didn't want to admit it.
Upon opening the door, his stomach rumbled. He held it until the rumbling stopped and frowned. "Looks like I'll have to get something to eat before I go see him."
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"Women are so goddam persistent!" he huffed and then squealed in a high-pitched mocking voice, "Go fix the sink! Fix the roof! Love me more! Leave me alone! Touch me here! Squeeze me there. Kiss me here and there! Harder! Softer! Faster! Slower! Buy me this purse, goddamit! No wonder I don't like them!"
He continued to run around trying his best tricks on the women of Konoha. They just couldn't take the hint that he just didn't want them around. He jumped up into a tree and watched the women run past with a small dust cloud collecting at their feet. This would give him a few minutes to catch his breath at least.
He inhaled deeply as his breathing slowly but surely returned to normal. He let his mind wander as he waited for the women to return back down the street. His mind wandered to the kiss that he and Sasuke had shared. It was his first real kiss. Yeah, there was that one back in the academy, but it was forced. This one was by will.
Confused, he looked around for the women. They didn't seem to be coming back yet, so he just sat there perched on his tree branch thinking. A familiar scent escaped into his nose. A scent that he had smelled only a few times, but at the same time he lusted for. He inhaled deeply as the powerful aroma tingled his nose. It took another deep breath to notice what it really was.
With all the running he had been doing, he managed to break into a sweat. And the smell that he was breathing in was Sasuke's cologne and sweat mixed into one. It smelled lustful and tempting. He slapped his forehead. "What a damn freak I am! I get all worked up over sweat and cologne! I'm lusting for someone that doesn't even like me! He just thinks I'm an annoying baka!" he trailed off until he felt someone standing behind him.
He turned around quickly with a kunai already placed in the curl of his fingers. He was about to stab forward when a familiar face smiled. It leaned over and came into view a little more and asked, "Where you going to stab me?"
Naruto looked at the person, stunned. Who did they manage to do it? Her pink hair fluttered in the wind and her green eyes were now shut, giving him a very warm smile. Is that how she always looked at him like that? No, it was because he was in Sasuke's body. Yeah, that had to be it.
"You're starting to sound like Naruto. It's kind of cute, yet scary at the same time. Besides, why would you want to be like him anyways? He's just…"
"What do you want Sakura?" he cut her off.
"Just to talk."
"Talk? About what?" Naruto resumed the typical "head on hands" Uchiha Sasuke pose. If he was going to be in his body, at least look like him if at all possible.
"Well, let's see. I don't want to talk about that damn kiss Naruto gave up. That just disgusted me. I mean, what kind of freak…"
"I thought you said you didn't want to talk about it?" he interrupted again.
"Well, I didn't. But since we are on the subject of Naruto, let's take about him."
"Let's not." He said as coolly as Sasuke.
"Well, okay. But I just wish he wouldn't have kissed you. I wanted to be the person to…well, steal your first kiss." She blushed but continued, "But that damn bastard had to go and ruin everything. He always does! He messes up on missions, pisses off everyone, and is really annoying."
"Wow, I never knew you thought so highly of him." Naruto said sarcastically.
She giggled. "No, you're the only one for me Sasuke. Maybe we can forget about that damn Naruto and about that kiss. Maybe I can really show you what it's like to kiss. Maybe if that faggot Naruto…!"
"Maybe he didn't mean to kiss me! Maybe he just wanted to get us apart because he liked you! Maybe, since you're such a bitch, he just wanted to ruin the relationship between you and me! Maybe, if you can comprehend this in your tiny brain of yours, you can understand that I DON'T LIKE YOU!" he screamed.
"S-Sasuke…" she paused and frowned. Then, after a few moments, it turned into a smile. "Oh, there's my typical Uchiha. Always sticking up for Naruto."
"Wha?"
"Every time I say anything bad about him, you flip. And that makes me all warm inside. Because if you flip out about a friend that much, what'll happen whenever we start dating? You'll flip out twice as much if people were talking behind my back." She giggled and then blushed. "You must still be confused about the kiss. I understand. I know you don't truly not like me."
Naruto rolled his eyes. Her love for the damn asshole was thicker than tar. She'd go to extreme… wait. What did she just say?
Naruto thought for a second and replayed everything back through his mind. "Oh, there's my typical Uchiha. Always sticking up for Naruto. Every time I say anything bad about him, you flip." What was that supposed to mean? Did she talk about him a lot? And why did Sasuke always stick up for him?
He got up off the tree branch and hopped down. "Where are you going, Sasuke-kun?"
"As far away from you as I can possibly be." He said coldly.
"Oh, well, uh, be sure to tell me whenever you want the kiss!" she said blushing an even brighter shade of magenta.
"Rot in hell." He said under his breath. He started walking away down the street but then the ground began to shake. He turned around and saw the stampede of women running towards him. He flushed angrily and waited in the street for them to come closer.
They neared as thoughts raced through his mind. "Why the hell did I run away? What kind of ninja am I? They are only women. Overly sensitive and very annoy-…" he stopped in mid-thought and smiled.
When the women were only a few yards away he shouted, "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU BUNCH OF FAT COWS! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH WOMEN! THAT'S RIGHT, LADIES I'M GAY! NOW KEEP YOUR UTTERY HAND THE HELL OFF OF ME, DAMMIT!"
He pivoted on his heel and raced off. He turned his head to see the women dumbstruck and completely confused. He laughed as some of them sighed and others began to cry. He didn't know if it was because of the fat comment or the 'I'm gay' comment. It didn't take him long to decide.
Well, he officially ruined the Uchiha's reputation. He told all the towns women that he was gay, and he even told Sakura that he didn't like her. Wow, won't Sasuke be happy to have his life back. However or whenever he got it back.
"It's going to be great telling him one day: 'Oh, Sasuke. I made every female in the town think you're gay and I made Sakura known to how much you don't like her. By the way, I love you!'" he sighed.
He began heading to the house of the two people he trusted the most. He needed some advice and only knew of one person. But of course, since he was in Sasuke's body, he'd have to go to the one Sasuke trusted most instead.
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Kakashi: Naruto! What happened?
Naruto: Well, you see… :glances at Sakurabana laying on the ground:
Sasuke: Naruto told Sakurabana all the things that we've… ahem… done and…
Kakashi: What! Naruto! Things are not to leave a man's bedroom!
Jiraiya: What's going on here?
Naruto: Perverted hermit?
Sasuke: Oh, great.
Kakashi: Sakurabana passed out once she heard of… :leans over and whispers in Jiraiya's ear:
Jiraiya: Oh! Tsk. Tsk. Naruto. You know, a man's secret should never leave the bedroom.
Iruka: What's up?
Jiraiya: Naruto told Sakurabana :whispers in Iruka's ear: and then she passed out.
Iruka: Naruto! Stories of pleasure should…
Naruto: I know! "Never leave the bedroom!" I get it!
Iruka: Not just a bedroom, but a man's bedroom. Besides, you should never repeat it to a yaoi fangirl, either.
Sasuke: You know how they get.
Naruto: Sorry, but is there a cure?
Kakashi: Yeah. But it's painful. Remember, Naruto, that technique I used on you. Thousand years of pain?
All: O.O
Iruka:blushes:
Kakashi: That's the only thing I see fit to waking her up.
Jiraiya: Can I administer it to her. :winks:
Kakashi: Go for it. :shows him technique: Just do that.
Jiraiya: Oh, yeah:smiles: Don't mind me, I'm just, uh, collecting data!
All-.-' yeah.
Jiraiya: Ho, ho, ho! This is going to be great:puts hands into position: THOUSAND YEARS OF…!
Sakurabana:punches Jiraiya and sends him flying back with a bloody nose: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU DISGUSTING PERVERTED HERMIT!
All: O.O
Sakurabana:anger marks: I'll deal with you guys later… So:smiles sweetly: How'd you like it?
All:sigh:
