Thank you for your reviews everyone! And I apologize if this chapter is a
bit 'cheesy' but I'm in kind of a depressed mood right now.so.I don't know.
Enjoy and please leave a review when you're done. I like reviews.
The next day Syaoran started school once again and all of his old friends welcomed him back and he received many warm greetings from everyone. From everyone, from everyone except the one person he wanted to accept him back. He walked up to his old seat behind Sakura and tapped her on the shoulder and got her attention. All her friends looked their way discreetly to see how Sakura would react to him being back. They all knew Sakura had changed a lot since 4th grade, and now that it was their junior year in high school, she seemed more distant then ever.
Syaoran looked at Sakura and smiled. He stuck out his hand waiting for her to take it. "Hi, Im Li, Syaoran. I moved from Hong Kong. No matter what kind of past we may have had, I was hoping we could just start over and be friends."
Sakura looked at his out stretched hand for a moment then glanced towards Tomoyo for help. Tomoyo gave her a look that said 'give him a chance' and Sakura took his hand unsure and put on her best smile. "I'm not really sure who you were to me or what you did, but, maybe. We. Can. Be friends."
Syaoran beamed and shook her hand as if they had just met. "Thank you, Im glad that that's in the past and we can be friends."
As Syaoran made his way to his seat behind her, Sakura thought about what he said. 'How can I put behind what I don't remember?' Sakura thought back to his sweet smile and warm amber eyes. Somehow, she was somewhat.calmed by it? 'Maybe being his friend wont be so bad, its not like he asked to marry me or something.' Sakura shrugged it off as class began, but as she wrote down her notes, he sleeve pulled up just a little and she saw the scars. 'Will the scars ever go away?'
Tomoyo looked over at her friends with a worried expression on her face. She had seen the scars before and she could only convince her that life was worth living for so long while she felt so much pain.
Seven hours later the school bell rang as everyone started filling out of the school. Today was Monday and Tomoyo would have choir practice, which left her to walk home alone. Sakura walked gloomily out of the school after saying her goodbyes to Tomoyo and her friends and was greeted by Syaoran who was unlocking his bike. He saw her and smiled. "Hey Sakura! Where's Tomoyo?"
"She has choir practice today, Im just heading home."
"Mind if I join you?"
Sakura thought for a second before nodding and shrugging her shoulders. "Whatever you want to do doesn't bother me. I wouldn't mind the company."
Syaoran nodded and followed her on foot, his bike between them. As they walked they tried talking about normal things, school, sports, any good movies, but Syaoran found it hard to keep up a conversation when the other person didn't say much, and it wasn't long before they fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence.
They walked on for a few minutes leaving Syaoran to run a few things over in his mind. There were a lot of things he wanted to ask her, but one question seemed to rise above all of them. "Why did you try to commit suicide?" Syaoran stopped when he realized he had let his thoughts out out loud.
Sakura stopped as well and looked at him before turning her gaze towards the ground. Syaoran was surprised when all of the sudden she bolted off in the direction of the park. Syaoran hopped on his bike and went after her. When he was close enough he jumped off and chased after her on foot. He had to stop suddenly when she suddenly stopped and sat on a bench under a tree. Syaoran approached her slowly, not wanting her to run off again.
"You're really predictable you know that. I knew you would follow me."
"Then why did you run?"
This question was greeted by silence from Sakura. 'Why had she run?'
"Sakura, do.do you think you could answer my question? If you don't want to that's totally ok. I just want you to know, I'm your friend, and I'll listen if you need to talk." Syaoran turned to leave when he heard Sakura say something under her breath.
"Where do you find the strength?"
"What?"
"Where do you find the strength to go on living? Doesn't it ever feel like.you just can't.go on?" Sakura looked at him with watery questioning eyes. "Like the pain is just too much, and you just.want to end it all. Get away from it all."
"Of course. Sakura, you're not the only one. You're not alone in how you feel. " Sakura looked up in surprise at Syaoran. Wasn't he supposed to tell her that she was silly? "But you know Sakura. How easy would it be to just...Die? It would be so easy to take your life and end it all. Its easy to die, but living. Living is the hard part. And you know, there's a purpose to why everyone lives. You don't always know it, and all you can think about is 'is my purpose to suffer like this? To feel this pain?' But you have to believe that after all the pain and darkness, there's something good waiting for you, and it's worth living for."
Sakura sat crying silent tears. Syaoran had just described her very feeling. "How do you know? How do you know what's worth living for? Is there really anything out there that's worth the effort?" She looked at him pleadingly, like his answer would fix it all.
Syaoran didn't even have to think about it. "Love Sakura. Love is always worth living for. The love you have for you family and friends. And that love you have inside you for that one special person out there for you. Just look inside yourself Sakura, look through all that darkness you have inside you and I'm sure you'll find, in your heart, a light. That light is your love Sakura, the love you have for everyone close to you." Syaoran looked at Sakura to see her reaction to his words. From the look on her face it looked like it was the first time she had heard that before. She had tears coming from her eyes in never ending streams, as it seemed this realization just dawned on her.
Syaoran looked at her with soft eyes and sat next to her and ran a hand up and down her back to try to calm her. He was struck dumb for a second when Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him and started crying into his shoulder. Syaoran just wrapped his arms around her trying his best to comfort her. "It hurts Syaoran. The pain in my heart hurts so much. The darkness in my heart knows no bounds. Will it ever heal?"
Syaoran felt saddened at her words. It was partly if not his entire fault she felt this way. "As long as there are people to help you through this Sakura, there is no doubting it will. Only time will tell. Just remember Sakura, Im here for you."
Sakura held him tighter and cried more into his shoulder and Syaoran thought from under the sound of her sobs; he could hear a small 'Thank you' leave her lips.
'I'll always be there for you Sakura. I may have messed your life up, but I'll help you get it back. I promise.'
The next day Syaoran started school once again and all of his old friends welcomed him back and he received many warm greetings from everyone. From everyone, from everyone except the one person he wanted to accept him back. He walked up to his old seat behind Sakura and tapped her on the shoulder and got her attention. All her friends looked their way discreetly to see how Sakura would react to him being back. They all knew Sakura had changed a lot since 4th grade, and now that it was their junior year in high school, she seemed more distant then ever.
Syaoran looked at Sakura and smiled. He stuck out his hand waiting for her to take it. "Hi, Im Li, Syaoran. I moved from Hong Kong. No matter what kind of past we may have had, I was hoping we could just start over and be friends."
Sakura looked at his out stretched hand for a moment then glanced towards Tomoyo for help. Tomoyo gave her a look that said 'give him a chance' and Sakura took his hand unsure and put on her best smile. "I'm not really sure who you were to me or what you did, but, maybe. We. Can. Be friends."
Syaoran beamed and shook her hand as if they had just met. "Thank you, Im glad that that's in the past and we can be friends."
As Syaoran made his way to his seat behind her, Sakura thought about what he said. 'How can I put behind what I don't remember?' Sakura thought back to his sweet smile and warm amber eyes. Somehow, she was somewhat.calmed by it? 'Maybe being his friend wont be so bad, its not like he asked to marry me or something.' Sakura shrugged it off as class began, but as she wrote down her notes, he sleeve pulled up just a little and she saw the scars. 'Will the scars ever go away?'
Tomoyo looked over at her friends with a worried expression on her face. She had seen the scars before and she could only convince her that life was worth living for so long while she felt so much pain.
Seven hours later the school bell rang as everyone started filling out of the school. Today was Monday and Tomoyo would have choir practice, which left her to walk home alone. Sakura walked gloomily out of the school after saying her goodbyes to Tomoyo and her friends and was greeted by Syaoran who was unlocking his bike. He saw her and smiled. "Hey Sakura! Where's Tomoyo?"
"She has choir practice today, Im just heading home."
"Mind if I join you?"
Sakura thought for a second before nodding and shrugging her shoulders. "Whatever you want to do doesn't bother me. I wouldn't mind the company."
Syaoran nodded and followed her on foot, his bike between them. As they walked they tried talking about normal things, school, sports, any good movies, but Syaoran found it hard to keep up a conversation when the other person didn't say much, and it wasn't long before they fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence.
They walked on for a few minutes leaving Syaoran to run a few things over in his mind. There were a lot of things he wanted to ask her, but one question seemed to rise above all of them. "Why did you try to commit suicide?" Syaoran stopped when he realized he had let his thoughts out out loud.
Sakura stopped as well and looked at him before turning her gaze towards the ground. Syaoran was surprised when all of the sudden she bolted off in the direction of the park. Syaoran hopped on his bike and went after her. When he was close enough he jumped off and chased after her on foot. He had to stop suddenly when she suddenly stopped and sat on a bench under a tree. Syaoran approached her slowly, not wanting her to run off again.
"You're really predictable you know that. I knew you would follow me."
"Then why did you run?"
This question was greeted by silence from Sakura. 'Why had she run?'
"Sakura, do.do you think you could answer my question? If you don't want to that's totally ok. I just want you to know, I'm your friend, and I'll listen if you need to talk." Syaoran turned to leave when he heard Sakura say something under her breath.
"Where do you find the strength?"
"What?"
"Where do you find the strength to go on living? Doesn't it ever feel like.you just can't.go on?" Sakura looked at him with watery questioning eyes. "Like the pain is just too much, and you just.want to end it all. Get away from it all."
"Of course. Sakura, you're not the only one. You're not alone in how you feel. " Sakura looked up in surprise at Syaoran. Wasn't he supposed to tell her that she was silly? "But you know Sakura. How easy would it be to just...Die? It would be so easy to take your life and end it all. Its easy to die, but living. Living is the hard part. And you know, there's a purpose to why everyone lives. You don't always know it, and all you can think about is 'is my purpose to suffer like this? To feel this pain?' But you have to believe that after all the pain and darkness, there's something good waiting for you, and it's worth living for."
Sakura sat crying silent tears. Syaoran had just described her very feeling. "How do you know? How do you know what's worth living for? Is there really anything out there that's worth the effort?" She looked at him pleadingly, like his answer would fix it all.
Syaoran didn't even have to think about it. "Love Sakura. Love is always worth living for. The love you have for you family and friends. And that love you have inside you for that one special person out there for you. Just look inside yourself Sakura, look through all that darkness you have inside you and I'm sure you'll find, in your heart, a light. That light is your love Sakura, the love you have for everyone close to you." Syaoran looked at Sakura to see her reaction to his words. From the look on her face it looked like it was the first time she had heard that before. She had tears coming from her eyes in never ending streams, as it seemed this realization just dawned on her.
Syaoran looked at her with soft eyes and sat next to her and ran a hand up and down her back to try to calm her. He was struck dumb for a second when Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him and started crying into his shoulder. Syaoran just wrapped his arms around her trying his best to comfort her. "It hurts Syaoran. The pain in my heart hurts so much. The darkness in my heart knows no bounds. Will it ever heal?"
Syaoran felt saddened at her words. It was partly if not his entire fault she felt this way. "As long as there are people to help you through this Sakura, there is no doubting it will. Only time will tell. Just remember Sakura, Im here for you."
Sakura held him tighter and cried more into his shoulder and Syaoran thought from under the sound of her sobs; he could hear a small 'Thank you' leave her lips.
'I'll always be there for you Sakura. I may have messed your life up, but I'll help you get it back. I promise.'
