Arigato for reading my fic na no da! It makes me so happy to have such loyal reviewers that give me inspiration! To all my past reviewers, you should have received you Pocky and Ramune soda by now. For any new reviewers, your share is waiting for you via e-mail! Remember this equation: lots of reviews feedback for next chapter = Reiannah able to write faster and make readers happy!!! Again, arigato and enjoy!
Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, ne? Well, it belongs to Maki Murikami, all I own is... well, nothing. cries in the corner But I will prevail and one day I will own something!
Regular italicized writing indicates thoughts
Bold italicized writing indicates conscience
Chapter 3: To Run and Hide or Chase
Shuichi was tired. Not just physically from the two-hour concert they were just finishing, but mentally and emotionally tired too. Hiro and Suguru had noticed it as well; casting worried looks at him throughout the entire concert to make sure the genki singer didn't run out of energy. The strain was showing and they knew very well that even the best could fall; even the strongest could break. Since his break up with Yuki, the pink-haired singer had pushed himself more than ever. To the point of exhaustion.
Singing was the vocalist's only escape. But each song added weight to his already aching heart. It was to be expected- almost every single one had a piece of Yuki engraved into it. The lyrics screamed his former lover's name louder than any sign or announcement would have been able to. After all, Yuki had been his inspiration.
Smiling for the camera was the hardest part. He could almost see Yuki at the other side of the screen, criticizing his performance and calling his lyrics crap. Just remember his former lover and how he used to show up unexpectedly for one of his concerts, Shuichi felt his chest tighten, his heart pounding painfully.
Even if he had never been able to write lyrics to the novelist's standards, the singer still put forth his all in the creation and execution of the songs. But why did the pink-haired vocalist continue to sing lyrics that reminded him of a love that no longer existed?
Shuichi frowned in his mind.
Am I that much of a masochist?
He shrugged it off. These lyrics hurt, but they were also the only way he could express what he was no longer allowed to say anymore. Even if the writer no longer loved him, or never had, Shuichi knew that his own feelings for the writer had never been in doubt. He knew that no matter what, Yuki would be the only one to hold his heart.
That's why he continued to sing these songs. They still held truth for him.
Even with the whole world against us...
"Together we were enchanted by a love that even the gods won't forgive"
Even though you walk away from me...
"Before telling me you're leaving, let's throw away common sense and anything like it"
Even if our love is forbidden...
"In this love that's like a "No Entry Allowed" warning sign, let's try just one more time"
You are the only dream I can see...
"To see if we can gamble everything on the same dream!"
I love you, Yuki.
As the last thought passed through his head, Shuichi felt the world spin out of control. His strength was finally giving way to the overwhelming exhaustion that could no longer be held off. He struggled to keep his balance, only to see the floor racing towards him. Then there was nothing but darkness.
"Shuichi!" The audience gasped in shock as the singer dropped to the floor. There was onslaught of activity as everyone rushed to his side. Stagehands turn the lights off and the music was cut abruptly. Voices yelled directions as the curtains closed around the singer's motionless body. The concert was over.
{In Yuki's apartment}
The blond writer was nursing a migraine with a beer and a cigarette. It wasn't the doctor recommended treatment, but it sure the hell made him feel a lot better. Ever since his crying bout a week ago, he had been unable to write due to a continuous migraine that hadn't broken yet. Crying wasn't a good way to express his emotions. It always ended up hurting his head, making him feel like he had a bad cold afterwards. It was physically messy and mentally draining.
He was once again in front of the TV, not really paying attention to the stale dialogue spouting out of it. He was rarely able to focus on anything as of late. All of his belonging had already been pack, the plane ticket purchased, (with cash so that Seguchi wouldn't be able to trace his credit card) and the hotel arrangement when he got to the states had already been made. He was due to leave tomorrow at 7:00 am in the morning. The plane departed at 8:27am.
Then the screen changed to that of a special bulletin. The writer decided that this might warrant more of his interest. And he was more right than he could have ever guessed.
"We interrupt the previous broadcast for a special bulletin. It has just been reported that Shindou Shuichi of Bad Luck has just been rushed to the hospital after collapsing towards the end of his concert. Though we are not positive about the cause of this sudden incident, fans that were in the audience have commented that though Shindou-san was performing excellently as usual, he didn't look as though he was in the best of health. NG Studios has declined comment until further information on Shindou-san's condition is released from the hospital. Stay tuned as we continue to update on ..."
Yuki flicked the remote, silencing the TV. Now head hurt even more. A wave of nausea rushed through him as questions flew, bouncing inside his head.
Shuichi. Are you sick? What happened? What the fuck happened there?
It's your fault. You hurt him again.
Hurt feelings don't make a person collapse onstage.
A broken heart leads to broken mind. A broken mind leads to a broken body. You should know that better than anyone.
If that's all, he'll get better.
Is that what you're trying to convince yourself? Or is it just an excuse to not take responsibility for your actions?
The brat is no longer my responsibility.
Is that so...?
The writer ignored the last comment. The only thing on his mind now was to see Shuichi and find out how he was doing. But that in itself would be a problem.
Damn. I can't call his friends. They probably already know that I kicked him out and am leaving the country. And I can't ask Seguchi... he'd help, but all the while laughing at me at the same time. Shit. I can't have anyone else do this for me...
Oh well. I guess you'll just have to go yourself. But do you have the guts to face the person you let down the most?
How the fuck am I going to get in there without being seen?
Or are you just going to run away like the coward you are?
The novelist closed his eyes, trying to determine the best course of action.
Do you have enough heart to do what is right?
"Fine. I'll go see him myself. But he won't see me." Yuki spoke aloud, answering the voice that taunted him.
So you're not running away this time... but hiding instead?
Call it whatever you want. After I see how he's doing, I'm turning back around and leaving Japan. I'll give him the damn apartment.
I see... is this supposed to make everything better? You give him the home he shared with you and he's supposed to be happy with the leftovers?
At least he'll have a place to stay.
What makes you think that he'll want to stay here without you?
He doesn't have much of a choice, now does he? I'm not staying.
Do you really think that running away will solve all your problems? It didn't every other time you've tried it... what makes you think it'll be any different this time?
This time, I'm starting over from scratch.
You can't escape your own ghosts. They will follow you wherever you go.
Yuki didn't comment, mostly because there wasn't anything he could think of to say back to this thought. He grabbed his keys and left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.
{Hospital}
"Shindou-san's condition is stable, all of his vitals are strong. As far as we can tell, he collapsed due to overexertion and stress. He will need to rest for the next week or so... until he gets his strength back. He also has a slight case of malnutrition and his weight has dropped about ten pounds. The doctor would like him to remain in the hospital until he has eaten a few meals." The motherly nurse made this announcement to members of Bad Luck, Nittle Grasper, as well as their producers and managers. There was an all around sense of relief when the news was released.
"Shu-chan is going get better, ne, na no da?" Ryuichi held Noriko's hand with one of his own, and with the other, Kumagorou hung by an ear.
"Hai, hai Ryuichi... Shuichi will be fine." Noriko reassured the child-like idol with a tired pat on the head.
"When exactly can Shindou-san be released?" This came from the President and CEO of NG Records.
The nurse hesitated before answering.
"Well, he can leave as soon as he wakes up if that's his wish... but the doctor recommends that Shindou-san remain in the hospital for at least another two days. He is really weak right now, and needs to get his strength back. If he doesn't get his strength back now, he is liable to collapse again."
"Can we go in and see him?" Hiro demanded an answer more than asked it. The nurse widened her eyes in surprise at the intensity of his voice.
"H-hai. But until he wakes up, we ask that only two people visit at a time. He really needs his rest, and the doctor would prefer for him to sleep some more."
"Don't worry, leave Shindou-san to us." Tohma flashed a dazzling smile at the nurse, who blushed all the way to her ears. She bowed quickly and excused herself.
"I'm going in NOW." The guitarist of Bad Luck didn't bother asking. It was a fact.
"I want to see Shu-chan too, na no da!" Tears began to fill Ryuichi's eyes. Tohma sighed as he waved the both of them into the room.
They all took turns visiting the sleeping singer with Hiro and Ryuichi going first, Suguru and Noriko second, and K and Sakano third. Tohma chose to go last and by himself for his own reasons, though Hiro wasn't sure if the President of NG was to be trusted alone with his best friend. The guitarist eyed the blond keyboardist suspiciously as the said president entered the room and closed the door behind him.
"Why the hell does Seguchi-san need to close the door and be alone with Shuichi?" Hiro continued to glare at the door as if trying to burn a hole through it. Noriko chuckled.
"What Tohma wants, Tohma always gets. Don't bother to ask questions... you'll only get them if it suits his purpose." The lilac-haired keyboardist dismissed her coworker's action with a wave of her hand. Hiro simply growled.
"Shindou-san. Shindou-san. Wake up." The blond-haired man gently yet firmly shook the unconscious boy, waking him from his dreamless sleep. Long pink lashes fluttered open to reveal the deepest of violet eyes.
"Se-Seguchi-san? Nani yo? What happened?" The singer adjusted his eyes to the glaring reflection of the hospital lights.
"You blacked out while you where onstage. The doctors says it's from overexertion and stress. He also seemed concerned about your weight loss." The executive decided that informing Shindou of the situation would be the best way to start.
"Mnn... yeah, now I remember. So I'm in the hospital now?"
"Hai. The doctor recommends you staying here for the next few days in order to recover. He insists that rest is the only way for you to get better."
"I guess I don't have much of a choice." The singer didn't even bother asking if he could leave against the doctor's orders. If Seguchi didn't force him to stay, he knew Hiro and K-san would. With force if need be. The keyboardist smiled an angelic smile, no doubt thinking the same thing.
"Besides informing you of your own condition, I came to speak with you concerning a more personal matter." The pink-haired singer cringed slightly, realizing what that 'personal matter' was all about.
"Er... Seguchi-san, I don't really want to get into that...." The older man cut him off.
"Some time ago, Eiri-kun called me. It was to inform me that he would be leaving Japan the next week. That was exactly seven days ago." Tohma had stopped smiling and instead wore a strangely intense look in his eyes. It was obvious that the keyboardist had come here looking for answers. Answers that he obviously believed to be held by Shuichi. The vocalist shut his eyes and inadvertently clenched his fist.
"So... he's leaving... today...?" The words barely came out even as a whisper. The executive just barely nodded his dead, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly. It gave him a predatory look: the look of a hunter.
"Hai. I was unable to find out exactly when and to where. But I'm not here to discuss where he might have gone, I will find out sooner or later." An uneasy feeling started growing in the singer's chest.
"I came here to ask you... when I do find out..." The feeling grew, making a knot in his stomach.
"...Do you plan on going after him, Shindou-san?" The president's eyes told the singer that everything from then on would depend on his answer.
Too bad Shuichi didn't know the answer himself.
TBC...
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