Oi, minna! All of your lovely reviews have made Reiannah very, very happy! Arigato! I will continue to write this fic, but in turn, all of you must continue reviewing. When the reviews stop coming, the writing will discontinue. pouty face So onegai, keep reviewing! I'm not sure how long this fic will be, but in the end, it's all up to you! Hugs, Pocky, and Ramune soda to all! Sankyuu and baibai!

Special thanks to Sangsty-san, Cain, Suki, and Demon Girl for their unsigned yet much appreciated and revered reviews... I bow down to you! Here's a few short notes for each of you:

Sangsty-san- I'm glad you liked it! I will write more... I promise!

Cain- I'm sorry, but just bear with me! I promise that in this next chapter, Shuichi WILL stand up for himself and not be such a pushover! sob Don't be mad at me, don't stop reading my fic, and PLEASE don't stop reviewing!!! I am glad that you gave me such great feedback and will try my best to take your suggestions. pout This IS my first fic, you know! Don't be mad at me!

Suki- Thanks for the encouragement, I needed it! I will stay strong and write on! I conquer all! Until I get writer block at least... sweat drop Pray to the Pocky Goddess that it won't happen...

Demon Girl- Here is the new chapter that you demanded! Hope it meets your expectations! Enjoy and let me know what you think. Please...?

Sypris- Hey, why do I have to be the slave?! I want to be the master for once! pout But, as you wish, here is the next chapter. Let me know if you like it, 'master'... blink blink Um, does this sound strange to anyone else besides me...?

Unsigned reviewers! You don't get Pocky and Ramune soda if you don't leave your e-mail! Everyone else, if you want seconds of Pocky and Ramune soda, all you need to do is ask!

Oh, and one last thing... I love my Onee-chan!!! sends mental huggles to Yui-Mag

Disclaimer: The almighty Goddess of Gravitation refuses to give it to me... so I cry and write fanfiction to dull the sorrow. But one day, I will prevail! Gravitation will be mine! Mwuhahahaha!

Regular italicized writing indicates thoughts

Bold italicized writing indicates conscience

Chapter 4: Save Him From Himself

Someone had once told Shuichi a long time ago, 'If you love them, let them go. If they return to you, then it was meant to be.' But Shuichi never realized exactly how painful it would be to let Yuki go. And the biggest fear of all was whether or not the said Yuki did love him enough to return.

The writer had once referred to love as nothing but a 'a stupid cliché.' Yuki Eiri, the master of love stories and broken hearts had never believed in anything he wrote about, he had made that clear a long time ago.

But Shuichi believed in it. He believed in the emotions that he felt every time he caught even the faintest glimpse of Yuki in his weakness. They overwhelmed him, threatening to devour his very being. His feelings for Yuki were like signed invitations to his own destruction. Invitation that he could never turn away. It was raw, irrational, and dangerous. Being in love with Yuki was like playing with fire: at any moment, it could burn you.

Looking into Tohma's eyes, the vocalist knew that he would have to live and die with his decision from then on. There was no going back after this. But he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. So he stalled.

"Nani? Doushite?" The singer plastered his most confused look on his face, hoping that the keyboardist would fall for it. The President of NG let out an exasperated sigh. He knew Shuichi was a few colors short of a rainbow, but to be this stupid was absolutely ridiculous.

"Do you love Eiri-kun?" Tohma demanded. The boy sunk into hospital bed, trying to make himself as small as possible. The executive was definitely not in the mood to play games with him. He just wanted answers.

"H-hai, of course I love Y-Yuki." Shuichi's tongue seemed to do a back flip when he said his beloved's name.

"Then what do you plan to do about him leaving?" The Grasper's eyes seemed to peer right through the vocalist's body and intrude upon his very thoughts.

"Nani? What can I do? I can't make him stay. And I can't make him love me." The pink-haired boy could barely whisper the words, his eyes cast down at the rumpled covers.

Tohma could make out an odd reflection on the singer's cheek, hinting at an emotional breakdown. The executive's eyes softened just the faintest bit. He had to admit that Shuichi had been stronger than expected, trying to move on with his life despite Eiri. He knew that his questions were cruel to the younger boy, pushing him to make decisions that might have been better left unmade. But he needed to know if Shuichi would continue to play a role in Eiri's life or if he had only been a support actor in the writer's play.

"Shindou-san, why are you letting go of Eiri-kun? Is it because you're waiting for him to come back to you on his own, or because you're no longer able to handle your relationship with him?" Tohma couldn't have been more correct if he had read the younger boy's mind. Violet eyes met black ones. The vocalist was no longer able to avoid the older man's questions.

"I want to be with him more than anything. But I don't want him to stay with him if that isn't what he wants." The singer took a deep breathe as the keyboardist held his, waiting for the boy to continue.

"But I'm also tired of playing the same old lover's game with him. It's a stupid cycle: when he gets mad at me or tired of me, he kicks me out, then I go back for more like a complete idiot. I'm sick of doing it over and over again. I want it to stop. Maybe he's right about me, maybe I am a baka after all. It's like I can't get enough... always going back for more." Bad Luck's vocalist glared defiantly at his senior, daring him to argue or disagree. Tohma held his tongue, so Shuichi continued to vent.

"I am not a masochist. I don't enjoy being hurt. And this time, I'm not going to go back asking for more. Our lover's game isn't going to get any better, so it has to end. We're both under too much pressure and now something has got to give. And this time I won't be the one to do it. I won't turn my back on him, but I won't give into him either. Something has to change." The last sentence came out as a whisper, and a single tear spilled from the soulful violet eyes. Still, the pink-haired singer continued to hold the older man's eyes in an unwavering and resolute gaze. Neither looked away, and neither showed any signs of breaking down. The younger boy allowed himself to justify Yuki just the tiniest bit by adding one last thought.

"I know that his past still haunts him. And I wish I could take his pain away. But he's built walls so high even I can't climb over them. So...I'll wait for him... I'll give him as much time as he needs. When he figures out what's important to him, I'll still be waiting... even if he decides that I'm not one of those important things." Tohma held the piercing eyes for a moment longer and then allowed a small yet honest smile spread over his face.

"You haven't given up after all." The producer made it a statement, not a question. Shuichi nodded slightly, turning to view the window.

"I've never given up on Yuki. I don't have it in me."

"So... I was correct after all." The singer turned to face the blonde man again.

"Nani? About what?" Confusion was apparent in the boy's features. Seguchi smiled again. It was about time that he gave some type of approval to the vocalist in terms of his relationship with his brother-in-law.

"Eiri-kun is the most important person in the world to me. But I'm not the one." Shuichi blushed, imagining what his boss might be referring to. The Grasper chuckled, knowing what had crossed the boy's mind.

"Iie, not in that way... though I know that there are those who would believe that." The singer looked up relieved to know that his boss and idol would not be his rival in love.

"What I mean is, I am not the one who can save Eiri-kun from himself. You are. But it won't be easy. I will continue to gather information on his whereabouts, but will only observe from now on. I entrust you to save him before he falls." Seguchi walked to the door and turned to face Shuichi one last time before leaving.

"Be assured Shindou-san, Eiri-kun will undoubtedly fall. It's just a matter of when. I know that being punctual isn't your strongpoint, but being late by just a moment could be too late when dealing with him. I trust that you won't let me down."

"Hai, Seguchi-san. I understand." With that the President of NG Records left the hospital room to leave Shuichi alone with a myriad of thoughts. Or at least for a moment.

"Oi, Shuichi! Did that bastard wake you up? I knew that he was up to no good!" Hiro swung the door open and startled the vocalist out of his thoughts.

"Hiro!"

"Did he do anything to you? What did he say? Why did he want to talk to you alone?" The longhaired brunette shot off questions at his friend. Wide-eyed, Shuichi had a thought of Hiro being similar to a mother hen. He broke into hysterical laughter at which Hiro stopped the line of questions in surprise.

"What's so funny?" The guitarist demanded. He had a feeling that he was the one being laughed at, and he didn't exactly appreciate it... considering how concerned he had been just a moment ago. Before the pink-haired boy could reply, a whirlwind entered the room and pounced on Shuichi.

"Shu-chan! Kumagorou and I were worried about you! We were wondering what made you fall and go 'boom!' Are you better now, na no da?" Ryuichi hugged Shuichi tightly as if scared that younger boy might disappear if he released. The singer of Bad Luck struggled to breathe as he tried to speak at the same time. Sakano fainted at seeing his singer being squeezed to death. K barely kept hold of his magnum as the producer's dead weight fell on his shooting hand. Panic ensued around Sakano and K that included a full round being unloaded into the walls and while a now forgotten pair of singers continued their breathless bonding experience.

"Sa... ku...ma...san!" Shuichi began to turn an unusual shade of purplish-blue as the hug refused to slacken. Noriko walked in and upon realizing the dire situation that the pink-haired boy was in, she intervened.

"Ryuichi! You're going to make Shuichi pass out again! Let him breathe!" The man-child released the said boy immediately, fearing both the wrath of Noriko and the idea of his friend falling to the floor again, and this time himself being the cause of it.

"Gomen Shu-chan! You're okay, ne?! Ne, na no da?!" The God of J-pop's eyes filled with tears as he glumly chewed on the pink-haired singer's arm. The boy squeezed the older man's hand reassuringly.

"I'm fine, Sakuma-san." The tears disappeared without a trace to be replaced by an indignant expression.

"It's Ryuichi! Or Ryu-chan! We're friends aren't we? Friends don't all each other by such cold names!"

"Okay Sa-, I mean, Ryu-chan."

"So how are you feeling, Shindou-san?" Suguru asked politely. In his mind, he was thinking about how much work would have to be caught up on once his coworker was able to return to work.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." Shuichi replied with a grin.

"What is this I hear about you losing weight? You were skinny enough before, but now you're tiny! If you don't start eating soon, you're going to disappear!" Noriko chastised with a frown. It was true; the boy couldn't afford to lose any weight since he was underweight to begin with. While the average weight for his age and body type was anywhere between 130 to 140lbs, Shuichi weighed in at a mere 112lbs. With his recent weight loss, he was only 102lbs. It was dangerously low. Before, no one had bothered trying to fatten him up since he ate enormous portions to begin with, but now it was obvious that his appetite and eating habits had declined. The pink-haired vocalist ducked his head, grinning meekly.

"Gomen Noriko. I guess I didn't realize that I hadn't been eating as much."

"Kuma-chan and I will fatten you up, Shu-chan! Let's see, we'll start with lots of Pocky, na no da!" The man-child began bouncing around the room chanting 'Pocky' as a pink crayon magically appeared in his hand. Together with the help of Kumagorou, Ryuichi proceeded to 'redecorate' Shuichi's hospital room with random scribbles and occasional drawings of Shuichi and himself being 'shiny.' The rest of them chose to ignore the five-year-old- stuck-in-a-thirty-two-year-old's-body. The Grasper's blonde keyboardist would undoubtedly pay for the removal of the art as well as the bullet holes before the pink-haired singer was released from the hospital. The President of NG always took care of the loose ends. Tohma the clean-up boy. So continues the many faces of the Nittle Grasper keyboardist.

K decided at that moment to once again terrify all that were present by reloading his magnum and shoving the barrel into the Bad Luck singer's ear. Everyone froze, hoping the miniature militia-bearing manager wouldn't take aim at any of them. The longhaired manager proceeded to cackle manically, pausing to articulate a few choice words.

"Ah, my lovely singer! You will eat and rest well so that Bad Luck may proceed on its road to ultimate stardom, ne?" Shuichi gulped and nodded very carefully as no to make any sudden movements which would result in a permanently hospitalize self.

"What is that, my melodic leader? I-CAN'T-HEAR-YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!" The last sentence was a mixture of howling and singing that sent shivers down the back of everyone in the room. Bad Luck's manager was dire need of psychiatric care.

"Hai, K-san! I will! I promise!" The pink-haired vocalist responded promptly to assure his manager that he would do as he was asked. Satisfied, K removed the gun from Shuichi's ear and waved it at his audience, making it clear that he wanted everyone out. And they were quick to please. Within mere seconds, the crowded room was once again very empty with the exception of a bawling Ryuichi being dragged out by his hair, courtesy of an ever-smiling and creepily cheerful K.

"I WANT TO STAY WITH SHU-CHAN! HE'LL BE LONELY, NA NO DAAAAA!!!" The howling became fainter as the God of J-pop continued to be bodily taken out of the hospital. Shuichi let a small grin rest on his face as he closed his eyes. The visit had worn him out almost as much as a concert performance would have. Slowly, he felt himself drifting into another dreamless sleep.

Yuki was currently hiding out in the parking lot. He had taken careful notice of the presence of Tohma's limo, K's sedan, and Hiro's bike. This definitely meant Tohma, K, and Hiro was inside the hospital, and more than likely, the rest of Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck was visiting as well. He cursed himself.

Of course they're in there. They ARE his friends. Not like myself. I'm just the ex-lover.

Awww... poor Eiri! All alone and not invited to the party?

Shut-up. I just don't think this was such a good idea.

Having second thoughts? Your courage failing you?

Fuck you. I'm the last person he'd want to see.

But you even brought him FLOWERS! It was so sweet and THOUGHTFUL!


Yuki began to growl at that thought when he noticed movement. Tohma had just exited the building, wearing a strange yet clearly satisfied smirk. Something about that didn't look right to the writer, but he just ducked his head to avoid being seen. The limo driver opened the rear door for the blonde executive and within a few moments, they drove away without noticing the novelist's vehicle parked between behind a bush.

Yuki continued to wait for another thirty-four minutes (he was counting on his watch) before the rest of Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck left the hospital, ushered by a gun toting K who was dragging a still screaming Ryuichi. They split up- Hiro alone on his bike, K with Sakano and Suguru in his sedan, and Noriko with a pouting Ryuichi in an unfamiliar red sports car. After they wave or yelled their last goodbyes, they departed in different directions.

After waiting another twenty minutes, Yuki assumed that the stream of visitors had ended and hoped it was safe to go in. Stepping out of his own black Mercedes, the novelist took a moment to look around before giving his car door a light push, shutting it with a dull thump. A dozen pink roses in one hand flicking a cigarette filter with the other, he steadily made his way inside the hospital.

Once inside, it took a dazzling smile and an autograph to find out where Shuichi's room was and obtain a card key. It was of course in a very private area of the hospital where only the most important patients remained. Tohma might've been a scumbag, but he took good care of his assets, namely his bands and employees.

After walking down various hallways and a trip up the guest elevator, he finally arrived outside of a wide door reading '307: Shindou, Private Room- Authorized Visitor Only.' A red light blinked on the card-key entry lock. He slipped in the card-key the young nurse hand given him, and after a beep, the light turn green, allowing entry. Slowly and silently, the writer made his way into the singer's room.

A soft snoring told him that the boy was asleep, probably tired out by his exuberant visitors. He frowned to himself, displeased at the thought of the vocalist's obnoxious friend wearing the pink-haired patient out.

Why didn't they just leave him alone? He just collapsed dammit. He shouldn't have to deal with their shit in his condition.

Why so protective all of a sudden? Still have feelings for him, ne Eiri?

Leave me alone. Please.

Well, okay... since you're so polite about it.

Yuki reached for the patient chart at the end of the bed. He flipped through it catching bits and pieces. Enough to tell him the cause of Shuichi's collapse.

"Patient suffers from overexertion and severe stress... immune systems is weakened... weight loss from 112lbs down to 100lbs even... malnutrition and dehydration... lack of sleep... depression... recommend inpatient observation for forty-eight hour period until patient shows signs of recovery... liable to occur again if not treated properly."

The novelist didn't know whether he felt relief at know that it wasn't life- threatening, or worried because the boy had let himself deteriorate so much and so fast.

He moved silently beside the singer's bed, laying the flowers on the nightstand. Just watching the boy sleep made him feel calm. The rise and fall of his former-lover's chest moved in rhythm with his own breathing. Yuki wanted to etch this moment into his mind so that his last memory of Shuichi would be a peaceful one. Not a tearful and heartbroken one. His eyes moved over the singer's body, tracing every detail. The soft pink hair fell over one eye, small nose flaring with each release of air, pouty red lips trembling with each breath...

Without even noticing it, the writer had moved in closer until he was hovering over the small body. With the lightest of touches, he brushed the hair away from the boy's face.

He leaned down, barely touching his own lips to the singer's. When the pink-haired boy didn't move, the novelist leaned down further until his lips were next to vocalist's.

"Gomen, Shuichi... maybe I'm not strong enough to face my fears. Gomen... for being weak... and leaving you when you need me the most. Gomen." Yuki withdrew his face and stepped away from the boy, afraid to wake him. Afraid that he would be seen.

"I don't deserve you Shuichi. I've never been worthy of anything you gave to me. I still believe nothing lasts forever... but maybe you can prove me wrong. If one day, you do find something that's forever, sing about it... and maybe I'll find it too."

"Even though I was cruel to you, I did it to hide myself from you. I loved you though. And I still do. But I'm not strong enough to seek forever with you. Maybe I will be some day. If I become strong enough, I promise... I will return and find you. Aishiteru, Shuichi." Yuki gave one final glance to the singer, turned, and closed the door behind him. Footsteps echoed his goodbye to the silent halls he left behind.

"Yu...ki...." Shuichi whispered his beloved's name in his sleep, finally able to dream again instead of the usual black sleep that had covered him.

Outside the hospital, a black Mercedes turned out of the parking lot, driven by a lonely blonde man with tears dripping uncheck down his face.

TBC...

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