Aishiteru minna! Arigato for every one of your reviews! They have brought me so much joy and inspiration... all of you are so sweet! I am out of my writer's block because of your wonderful responses! And ... DUM DUM DUM... here is chapter six of STLF! Hope you enjoy it as much as the last. I have tried very hard to meet your expectations and will work even harder in the future. I love writing this fic and am so happy that so many of you enjoy reading it. Gomen for the writer's block incident... I will try to avoid it in the future. Demo, you know the rules by now... I update, you review, I write more. NO REVIEWS MEAN NO UPDATE!!! In other words... REVIEW OR DIE!!! MWUHAHAHAHA!!! Hai, I know I'm scary and evil... I already admitted that! But you love me anyways. I hope.... Sankyuu and baibai!!!

To everyone who made guesses about the situation with Shuichi and NG Corps... all your questions will be answered in this next chapter... or maybe not. Depends on how evil I feel tonight. evil grin

Extra special thanks to the reviewer who wrote that poem/song for my fic... I LOVE IT!!! I actually cried when I read it... you are the sweetest! I wish you had left your e-mail or at the very least your nickname so that I could identify and write to you. Please consider writing back to me with a name next time... I'd really like to use your poem/song in STLF. Again, arigato for the thoughtfulness... hope to hear from you again! Even if you don't want to be identified, I'll treasure your review forever! Suki da yo! huggles

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????? Disclaimer: Okay children... this is lesson number 1 for the sixth time... Maki Murikami equals the Goddess of Gravitation. Reiannah equals penniless owner of STLF. I cry... and shake my fist at the evils hand of fate! Why couldn't I be her... or she be me? (Goddess of Gravitation glares at Reiannah) Um, okay... never mind then. I guess she wouldn't be too happy being me....?
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Regular italicized writing indicates thoughts

Bold italicized writing indicates conscience

Chapter 6: Maybe Means Maybe

Yuki was extremely jetlagged. He'd forgotten what it was like to change from one side of the time zone to the other. It was painful.

Not only was he tired as hell, but the airplane had also experienced major turbulence over the ocean, the man in front of him snored like one possessed, a fan girl kept throwing love notes at his head, and the airplane culinary had left much to be desired.

Note to self... never order the chef's choice. He's got rotten taste.

Then to top it off, he had been cursed with a first-class seat next to the spawn of the devil.

I hate kids. This one is just begging to get his ass kicked. Stupid parents. I hate parents.

When they finally landed, the novelist rushed to leave the plane. Gathering his luggage in a record seven minutes, he hailed the first taxi he laid his eyes on and gave directions to his hotel.

He barely avoided getting glomped by the drooling fan girl not to mention having the child of evil nearly followed him into bright yellow vehicle. He avoided that awkward and hair-ripping experience by slamming the door in the kids face. Evil brat.

The writer considered bribing the taxi driver to run the little twerp over for a nice payoff, but reconsidered after seeing how many cops were around. He shrugged. This city needed extra police coverage... after all, it was Sin City. Viva Las Vegas....

The blond man let out a tired sigh, contemplating his situation. He had chosen to make his move to a very crowded city- one where even the most famous person could get lost behind the bright lights, blaring noises, and heavy traffic. It would be easy to remain anonymous in Las Vegas... and difficult for even Tohma to find him.

Though he knew it would still happen... that was unavoidable. But at least he could choose when to be found. Yuki made his living as a novelist therefore thrived on publicity. He couldn't stop writing just to avoid his past. But hopefully the President of NG wouldn't chase after his brother- in-law like he usually did. That was the message he had sent via his long- time acquaintance and attorney- Fujiya Izanami. And he had faith in her... after all, she had never failed him before. After he contemplating the arrangements he had made with his lawyer, the writer couldn't help but following his memories that led to a certain pink-haired singer. From there, his thoughts refused to budge. He felt the tug of a sad smile at the edge of his lips.

Baka... I wonder what you think of me now?

He thinks that you were just faking him out.

I was quite serious.

We already know that, but we both also know that you can't turn your back on him completely.

Maybe.

Maybe?

I don't know anymore.

You don't know?

He makes me feels things that I don't understand.

Like what?

He caused the return of all my nightmares. He made me remember things that were better off left forgotten.

No, he just forced you to face your own nightmare. If he hadn't, you would never have been able to save him from becoming like yourself.

Like myself? So he could've been another me?

Yes.

So what's was the difference, why didn't he?

Instead of the one he loved betraying him, he was protecting the one he loved, using his body as a shield.

Are you saying that there was a chance that I could have been the one to hurt him? Instead of Aizawa?

Yes.

I would NEVER have done what that bastard did to Shuichi.

No, but if that incident had never happened, you'd never have returned for him. In turn, you might have never revealed your love for him and he would have become bitter at your betrayal of his own heart.

Huh? I lost you there. Or I guess I lost myself.

Is that a sense of humor breaking out?

Kami-sama, I hope not. I heard that they're hard to get rid of.

Ha ha! You really are quite witty. But stop trying to avoid this conversation with yourself.

Okay, fine. Explain in Japanese.

You were destined to be the most important thing in his life... either to save him or destroy him. Both of your choices led to salvation instead of destruction.

Two things I don't believe in- destiny and forever.

Well, I guess that's something we'll just have to work on, ne Eiri?

Keep thinking that if you want...

Actually, you are the one who keeps on thinking it... otherwise I wouldn't be mentioning it at all.

That's a lie. Why would I think about such dumb shit like that?

Hey, you're just arguing with yourself, remember?

Hmph.

Now, now Eiri... don't get mad at yourself.

Hmph.

Anyways, even if you don't believe in forever, you still wish for it, don't you?

I...don't know.

It's okay. When you do find it... it will lead you back where you belong.

Where I belong?

You know. I won't make you say it.

Hn. What does that brat want anyway? I can't figure him out.

Or maybe his intentions and desires are too simple and pure for you to believe?

It wasn't sex, money, or power... so what was it?

He never asked for any of that. He only asked for you to be his lover.

I don't understand... why? How is that enough?

Because he believes you are his key to forever.

Forever? And what would that be?

Can't say... that would be telling.

Argh! You know, whatever it is, it'll take half of forever just to find it!

Maybe, but isn't it worth it?

Why? It's just a waste of time.

But you promised him... when you said goodbye to him.

I... I know. But... I'm...uncertain...about...

About...?

About... what it might be. What it will mean.

Because it might mean that you will have to stop hiding behind your mask.

I don't want to be vulnerable. Not even for him.

Sometimes you have to admit your weakness before you gain strength.

I don't know if I can.

Maybe it's about time you figure out what it is that you truly feel for him.

I feel something that I don't understand. It's different from what I felt for... for Yuki.

Because what you felt for Yuki was never meant to last forever.

So what I feel for Shuichi is?

What do you think?

I'm... afraid to find out. I want him to be... happy.

Is it out of obligation or affection that you provided for Shuichi and insured his future?

Maybe... both?

Maybe usually means yes.

The thoughts ended abruptly as the taxi slowed to a stop in front of an enormous mirror-like building. Yuki quickly paid the travel fee as well as a generous tip. Removing the couple pieces of luggage he had brought with him overseas, he turned to face his new residence.

He finally moved into the hotel where the concierge greeted him.

"Welcome to the Bellagio. Do you have a reservation, sir?" A woman in her late thirties greeted him with a friendly smile. With a nod, the novelist withdrew an envelope with the said reservations.

"I have already wired money from my bank account to pay for the room. Under the name Eiri Uesugi. But I have already requested that my stay here remain anonymous. I do not wish to be bothered by anyone." After showing proper identification, the woman confirmed the reservation with a few keystrokes.

"Ah, yes. Mr. Uesugi. You have already paid for a corporate room for a period of thirty days at the rate of $399 per night. All amenities have been paid for and the manager himself has insured your privacy. Allow me to call for someone to assist you to your room with your bags." With that, the bellhop promptly escorted him to his room.

Upon his arrival, he locked and bolted the door then fell across the king- sized bed without bothering to try and get comfortable. He had too many thoughts in his head to even pay any mind to little things like comfort.

Shuichi would have enjoyed this room. There are so many things he would have found interesting. It would have entertained him for a long time.

You REALLY miss him, don't you?

Yuki let out an irritated growl.

So WHAT if I DO?!

Nothing at all... but it's nice to see that you're finally admitting it.

The writer's eyes softened for a moment.

Yeah, I guess I am admitting it, aren't I?

Hmm... maybe you're making some progress after all.

Maybe I am.

And maybe you DO have a chance at finding forever.

Maybe I do.

The golden eye closed, picturing a certain pink-haired boy as he had been sleeping in room 307, listed under Shindou. The blond man returned his thoughts to his original question.

Shuichi, what do you think of me now?

TBC...

Hai, hai... I know... I am evil. We already established this, ne? I know everyone was expecting to find out about Shuichi and NG Corps, demo... I hate it when I deliver only what is expected! It's so boring, na no da! Gomen... I will make up for it next chapter... maybe. If you review this chapter. Like now. Right now. REVIEW DAMMIT!!! Onegai...? pout I'll cry on my computer if you don't. Then the computer will drown there won't be ANY updates! Hai, I am evil... again, didn't we just go over this?