Arigato minna... Reiannah is grateful to all those who cared enough to review. I received many requests... some to continue the Shuichi x Ryuichi pairing, some to return to the Shuichi x Yuki pairing, some to emphasize the rivalry between Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper, some to reveal Ryuichi's secret, and many more. Unfortunately, I can't grant all requests... however, some will be granted now while others will be granted at a later time... maybe... if I feel like being nice.

As for Ryuichi's secret and the birth of Kumagorou... read on to find out! And in regards to Shuichi and Ryuichi's relationship... well let's just say that their limits shall be tested in this next chapter once the truth is revealed. Note that Ryuichi's past will be cut up into three parts, this chapter being the first. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Insert standard Gravitation disclaimer here.

Regular italicized writing indicates thoughts

Bold italicized writing indicates conscience

Chapter 14: There is Always More

Few hours before previous scene

"Ukai Noriko speaking." The drowsy woman pushed aside a rumpled knot of lavender hair from her face. Beside her, her husband protested her answering the phone.

True, it was a bit late to be accepting phone calls. But then again, the caller ID identified the number to be coming from a corporate office of NG Studios. If they were bothering her at this time of the night, it had to be important.

"Noriko-san? It's me." The Grasper recognized the tired voice of her colleague at the other end of the line. She immediately shook off her lethargy.

"Tohma? What the hell's the matter?" Now she knew this was important. The NG executive rarely bothered her, and if he did, never at 11:28pm.

"It's Ryuichi." The woman froze at the answer. She felt her heart skip a beat as fear raced through her thoughts.

"What ABOUT Ryuichi? What's wrong? What happened? Is he okay? Where is he? Does he need help?" Panic jumpstarted her voice as questions were bombarded at the President of NG.

Tohma hesitated for a moment before answering.

"I... I don't know..."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!" Next to her, Tatsuya fell off the bed with a loud 'thump' as she shrieked into the receiver.

"Noriko, relax! There's no immediate danger to Ryuichi at this moment. I didn't mean it like that!" The executive quickly explained himself before he lost his hearing.

"Oh." The female Grasper became suddenly silent at the reassurance.

"What I was trying to say was, Ryuichi has decided to accompany Bad Luck to the states. Iie. Let me rephrase that. Ryuichi has decided to accompany Shindou-kun to the states." Tohma corrected himself out loud, but to his own surprise, the rewording didn't sound as bitter as he thought it would.

Noriko sighed deeply into the phone.

"So, the plan didn't work after all. Ryu is chasing after Shuichi... even to the states"

"Hai. I just want to let you know... and also wanted to mention that our vocalist putting a lot of faith in his relationship with Shindou-kun." The male keyboardist emphasized the second half of his comment, making it sound like a warning.

"You think it's that serious?" Noriko frowned into the phone as she caught the hint in her friend's voice.

"Hai. In fact I think it's serious enough that Ryuichi might consider revealing his Pandora's Box to him."

"Are you talking about...? Iie! No way! That's impossible!" Eyes wide with dismay, the woman stuttered at the idea.

"I don't think it's impossible anymore. Have you noticed Ryuichi's behavior as of late?" Tohma her recent memories of the new lovers.

"Hai, demo..." Now it was her turn to hesitate. Noriko had noticed the change in Ryuichi, and it scared her. His behavior was so unusual... almost as if it was the old version of the vocalist brought back to life.

"Well, I just wanted to update you on the situation... and also let you know that I've decided to stay uninvolved this time around." Silence ruled once again as the news was dropped on the female Grasper.

Noriko vision faded in and out of focus as the words hit her.

"You... you're... just going to... let it... happen?" The words held a credulous tone. It was unbelievable... Seguchi Tohma, master of interference, had decided to call it quits at the worst possible time and situation.

"We can't protect Ryuichi forever, Noriko. It's time we let him go... let him make his own choices." The lavender-haired woman stood up from her bed.

"Where is he now? I'm going to him."

Presently at Ryuichi's Home

"Tell me what happened." Shuichi accepted the offer of truth. The Grasper gazed deeply into the violet eyes, knowing everything would change once the truth was revealed.

"Shu-" A sharp knock at the door interrupted the words. The two lovers looked towards the door, apprehensive of who it might be. The knocking came again, this time louder and somehow more demanding.

Ryuichi jumped up to answer his door, but was hindered as the pink-haired boy held onto the older man's shirttail. Shuichi knew that his boyfriend was happy to delay the truth. The Grasper merely smiled reassuringly at the boy and proceeded to open his door.

And there stood Noriko with hands on her hips. She didn't appear to be very pleased either.

"Ryuichi no baka!" The lavender-haired woman smacked the side of the man's head to emphasize her statement. The younger Grasper rubbed his head as he gave a pout.

"Itai! Nori-chan! That hurt, na no da! What was that for?" The whine was ignored as the female musician stomped into the townhouse as if it were her own.

She made her way to where Shuichi was watching with wide eyes at the approach of the angry woman. Arms crossed, she frowned at the vocalist.

"How much did he tell you, Shuichi?" Noriko glared, as she demanded an answer. The pink-haired singer stuttered at the question.

"N-nani? W-what do you mean, Noriko?" The violet eyes blinked in confusion as the keyboardist eyed the boy suspiciously. Ryuichi had recovered his senses by then and after shutting the door, he stepped in between his lover and his colleague.

"Nori-chan, what exactly are you talking about?" The older vocalist dropped his child act the moment he realized how serious his fellow Grasper was. The woman glared at him through narrowed eyes, her view of Shuichi blocked by the man's protective stance.

"Don't play dumb, you moron! You know what I'm talking about! From what I've heard, you're planning on talking a little too much!" The lavender-haired woman advanced forward a step, causing Ryuichi to fall back onto the arm of the sofa.

"If you're talking about 'the incident' then you shouldn't worry. I haven't said anything yet." Instead of being reassured, the female Grasper seemed to become even more enraged.

"Yet?! What do you mean, 'yet'? Are you seriously planning to tell this twerp the truth?!" At this point, Noriko was inches from throttling her coworker in her frustration. Nittle Grasper's vocalist pushed himself back further into the couch to avoid the angry woman's hands as they came closer.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten that 'the twerp' was directly behind him. So instead of escaping Noriko's grasp, Ryuichi merely became trapped between his lover and his band mate.

Noriko took this opportunity to pull the man to his feet and hold his face directly in front of her own. They were so close their noses were touching.

Her eyes were no longer angry. Instead they held a sadness that seemed to be breaking her heart. They filled with tears as unspoken emotions spilled over. Worry, sorrow, hurt, and love radiated from her touch.

"Ryu-chan... have you considered the consequences of revealing the truth? Do you think it's worth the risk? Do you think Shuichi will be able to understand?"

The tears dropped one by one onto the singer's face, burning his skin as they trailed down his own face. With a start, he realized that he too was crying and the tears were his own.

"Nori-chan... I-I don't know. Demo, I'm willing to take that chance. I have to." The male Grasper rested his forehead against the female's as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace.

He knew that his past had hurt all three members of Nittle Grasper. And he also knew that breaking the pact of silence between them would mean feeling the pain all over again.

Noriko had never quite gotten over the tragedy and was always the first to hush up any mention of it. The memory of it seemed to make her physically wilt. For she had been the first to discover the bloody mess.

"Ryuichi... some secrets are better left forgotten." She pleaded her case one last time in hopes that her friend would change his mind. He merely shook his head.

"I know, Noriko. Demo, I can't hide forever. Isn't that what you told me, ne?" The vocalist wasn't about to change his mind, but at the same time, he wanted her to understand his decision and support him in it.

The lavender-haired woman dropped her face into her hands as a muffled sob broke through her hands. She was scared. She didn't want to see her friend go through the memories again.

As the tears subsided, the woman looked up with her dark puffy eyes and swollen red nose. She gave a slight nod. The vocalist smiled.

Throughout the entire conversation between the two Graspers, Shuichi had remained frozen on the couch, transfixed by the drama played before his eyes. His lover's secret, whatever it was, still held enormous power over these people.

It made him think twice about his easy acceptance of Ryuichi's offer. He felt as though he was outside of the world these two lived in. And it made him wonder if he even deserved to know the truth.

What right do I have to know about Ryuichi's past?

Is it that important anyway?

He's still the same.

His past shouldn't matter to me.

Ryuichi is still Ryuichi, ne?

His thoughts were interrupted as Ryuichi's voice broke the silence.

"Shuichi... do you still want to know? If you've changed your mind, let me know now. There's no going back after this." The Grasper's eyes were dark as he said the words. There was neither trace of smile nor hint of laughter.

Bad Luck's vocalist parted his lips to answer only to shut it again without uttering a sound. He was afraid of the choice given to him. The truth held such weight and darkness.

If he said yes, than so many question would be answered... and yet there were some, as Noriko said, that are better left unanswered.

If he said no, than things would go on as they were... although there would remain a void in their relationship.

Ignorance is bliss... but is still ignorance.

Shuichi raised his eyes from the floor and gazed unblinkingly into his boyfriend's face.

Whatever decision he made, it would shape the future of both singers.

Whatever he chose, he had to do without any hesitation or regret.

He breathed in deeply finally shaped his mouth to speak.

"I-I want to know. Onegai, Ryuichi... tell me."

Nittle Grasper's vocalist returned eye contact and remained silent a moment longer. Noriko sniffled in the background, watching the scene as it played out.

The God of J-pop gave a nod and adjusted himself on the couch as to face his lover completely. He motioned for the keyboardist to take a seat as well. She approached slowly and took a seat on a chair next across from the sofa where the two lovers sat.

Ryuichi cleared his throat as he gathered his thoughts. He felt his heartbeat quicken slightly as bad memories rose to the surface.

"The nightmare began nine years ago..."

The Nightmare: Flashbacks

Flashback #1:

"Onii-san! Matte yo, na no da!" A tiny girl around the age of three waddled frantically towards her older brother who paused for a moment, allowing the child to catch up.

The older man grinned at the slight of his little sister trying to follow him. Even with a budding career in the music industry that left him little to no rest, he still made time for the little girl.

"Hayaku, hayaku! You have to hurry up if you want to come with me, Kaida-chan!" The singsong tone of voice teased the toddler as she tripped on a particularly deep pothole in the road.

Falling flat on her face, the child struggled for a moment as she pushed herself off the ground. He could see tears forming in the large blue-green eyes- the only trait share by the siblings. They were darker than usual now, signaling an emotion change in the toddler.

But there wasn't any crying or tantrums. Just a couple of tears rolling down in fat drops down her cheeks.

Because she knew what her brother would say... 'Sakuma's aren't crybabies.'

Yes, she was one tough kid... one her older brother Ryuichi had much pride in.

The beginner rock star had gotten his break into the music industry not even two months ago. It had been hard... being pushed and pulled... the good publicity and bad had rattled the nerves of all three members.

And then there had been the important little detail that had been overlook... like the name of their band.

They had argued for days before turning in a name that was satisfactory to all of them.

Tohma insisted that they have a strong name... something that held power when it fell from someone's lips.

Noriko demanded an asexual name that didn't define gender in any way, shape, or form.

Ryuichi wanted a name that would shine bright against the normal boundaries the usual one-hit band held.

They wanted something that breached the space between the various musical influences.

They wanted to reach... or as it turned out, grasp.

Ryuichi had made a comment about how they were grasping for something that wasn't meant to be held.

As which point Tohma said it was like grasping nettles.

And then Noriko recommended 'Nettle Grasper' as their band name.

Of course, Ryuichi couldn't let her get the last word in... so he made a flippant comment about calling themselves, 'Nipple Grasper.'

That turned out to be not such a good idea... Noriko had launched herself at the singer in an attempt at throttling him.

Tohma, after separating his fellow band members, suggested they compromise... something in between the two.

And such was the birth of Nittle Grasper. Simple as that... the end.

No. That wasn't right. It was only the beginning. The birth of a star that would shine for many years to come. Or so they hoped.

Ryuichi turned his attention to his younger sibling who had managed to get back on her feet and was making her way towards him, slowly but steadily.

He smiled brightly at her, his eyes turning a brighter shade of teal as she overcame her obstacle. Kaida grinned back as she basked in her brother's approval.

"Nii-san... will you walk with Kaida this time, na no da?" The sweet voice made his smile widen as the child reached a hand up to hold his own. The tiny hand settled for wrapping around a single finger since she couldn't exactly manage to hold his entire hand.

"I would've walked with you the first time if kept you'd kept up with me." She gave a small pout as her brother continued to tease her mercilessly.

"Onii-san you meanie!" He gave a soft chuckle as she crinkled her face.

She was indeed an adorable little girl. Taking after their deceased mother with her dirty blonde hair, pale complexion, and lithe form, she appeared older than her age.

The only thing she inherited from her father was her bright eye color that changed according to her mood. On the other had, Ryuichi was an exact image of their father. Only his personality had remnants of his dead mother in it.

Their mother had died giving birth to Kaida. Three agonizingly long days had been too much for the frail woman. Their father, Ryuiji, had chosen not to grieve though... only to celebrate the birth of the long awaited daughter to the family.

Kaida had been the Sakuma's blessing. From the moment she entered the world she had been all sunshine and laughter. Rarely crying and always smiling, she had brought much needed light to their lives.

Ryuichi allowed his little sister to pull him down the sidewalk towards their destination: Ruido. Nittle Grasper was scheduled for to debut in their first live performance there in two days. According to Tohma, it was a golden opportunity to begin.

For Tohma had been the one who chose to accept the invitation from Ruido's owners to play there. Crown Records, Nittle Grasper's recording label, had agreed as well.

Upon reaching the live house, the Ryuichi paused for a moment and gazed at the building.

This is it... our stepladder to the top.

Kaida tugged at her brother's hand impatiently. He lowered his eyes to throw her a quick wink. After another pause, they stepped forward to enter the building.

Flashback #2:

"Ryu-chan! Where have you been? You're late!" Nittle Grasper's vocalist grinned as his lover raced forward to embrace him.

"Gomen ne, Aki-chan. Rehearsal ran a bit late and..." The sentence was smothered under a passionate kiss. Time stood still as the two became lost inside their own little world.

After a few moments they broke apart to catch their breath. They never did learn how to breathe while kissing. Either that or they just forgot to do it.

Ryuichi smiled lovingly at his boyfriend. They had known each other for years... since their last year of high school.

Ishikawa Akinori had transferred to Ryuichi's high school in their final year. From the beginning they had been complete opposites.

Ryuichi was charismatic and outgoing while Akinori was quiet and reserve. Ryuichi was popular with hoards of friends and admirers while Akinori preferred seclusion and staying in the background. Ryuichi was a doer while Akinori was a thinker.

It was strange that they ever got together.

Neither ever proclaimed to have a preference for the same sex. In fact, at their introduction, Ryuichi had been dating the captain of the cheerleading squad. Not that their relationship had lasted very long. But then again, he was known for that... none of his relationships had lasted any longer than a few weeks.

Yes, he was indeed the biggest playboy in town, jumping from one girl to another. Sometimes even jumping back to a previous one.

It wasn't until Ryuichi and Akinori actually graduated from high school that they became friends. A simple meeting at a local club where Ryuichi was singing at had left him wanting to learn more about his reclusive schoolmate.

And that had eventually led to much more. A year or so into their friendship, feelings developed into a deeper relationship.

After a while, Ryuichi couldn't handle the chemistry between them any longer. He surprised Akinori with a kiss after a successful gig. The usually calm and collected boy was very flustered and embarrassed... but he didn't push Ryuichi away. The embarrassment stemmed from the fact the kiss happened in front of a small audience: Tohma and Noriko.

Tohma smiled politely as usual... his face lacked any trace of surprise in its features.

Noriko's jaw dropped... she practically started drooling.

Yes, everyone whose opinion mattered to the couple gave their full support... or at the very least, couldn't care less.

For example, Sakuma Ryuiji could have cared less. Sure, he didn't exactly jump for joy once his only son's sexual preference was brought to his attention. On the other hand, he didn't say a single word against it. He usually just shrugged and rolled his eyes when anyone mentioned the subject.

And Sakuma Kaida couldn't comprehend the difference between heterosexual and homosexual. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing wrong with loving anyone.

So Ryu and Aki continued their relationship, choosing to keep it a secret from the public in light of the fact not many people outside of their inner circle would have approved. Homosexuality was not considered an acceptable way of life at that point in time, especially in Japan.

Akinori grinned back at his lover with warm chocolate brown eyes. He had given his unwavering devotion to Ryuichi from the very beginning. He had supported his boyfriend's career and even agreed to stay in the background to prevent rumors and bad publicity from hurting Nittle Grasper's career. He didn't even seem to care about the fan girls that flocked around his boyfriend.

Ryuichi raised himself onto his toes in order to touch noses with Akinori. He could hear the taller male suck in his breath at the intimate gesture, waiting for the singer's next move.

"I missed you, koi." The Grasper whispered the words softly, sending shivers down his lover's back.

"Me too... I missed you more." The aromatic fragrance of sandalwood with a touch of jasmine lingered in the air... the scent of Aki's body wash.

"Mm... you smell good." Akinori giggled at the compliment. Tracing one elegant fingertip across his boyfriend's jaw line, he pulled Ryuichi closer with his other arm.

"You always say that Ryu-chan." The vocalist gave a soft chuckle at his lover's response. He pushed a stray strand of auburn hair away from the tanned face.

Though mostly of Japanese heritage, Akinori was also part American. That part of him was only made apparent by the shape of his eyes and his slight accent. He had been taught both Japanese and English from birth and spoke both fluently.

He was raised in Japan until he turned five, and then lived in the United States until he was twelve. At twelve, his parents died in a car accident, leaving him an orphan. Sent back to Japan to live with his uncle on his mother's side, he had chosen to move out at the age of seventeen. That was when he transferred to Ryuichi's high school.

Akinori leaned forward to nibble on a particularly enticing earlobe. Ryuichi had yet to give into everyone's piercing obsession. On the other hand, Aki chose to have a multiple number of piercings... quite contrary to his quite boy image.

"Let's go to my place. It'll be... a little private." The Grasper's eyes burned with desire for the man in his arms. The said man smiled seductively down at his lover.

"Heh, some impatient. Suffering much?" Akinori returned the smile along with a tease.

"Mm... I want to show you just how much I missed you." Ryuichi let his hands wander beneath his boyfriend's shirt causing Akinori to let out a gasp of surprise.

"Uh, let's go then."

"Do you love me, Ryu?" They were lying down in the vocalist's king-sized bed amidst tangled silk sheets and rumpled pillows. Ryuichi had been on the verge of a hard-earned sleep after their night of passion. He opened a single to peer at his lover.

"Do you need to ask?" Akinori just gazed back for a moment before nodding his head.

"I just want to hear you say it. I don't mind sharing you with everyone in Japan, but I want to know that you'll always be mine first." The singer closed his eyes briefly as he contemplated his answer.

"I'm yours. You're mine. And I love you more than life. Are you satisfied?" Akinori grinned broadly at his boyfriend and nodded again.

"Hai... I'm happy now. Oyasumi nasai, Ryu." He snuggled closer to the vocalist to feel the warmth of his body. Ryuichi wrapped his arm around his lover's waist and closed his eyes for the last time that night.

"Oyasumi nasai, koibito."

To be continued...

So, what did you think? I don't know if everything is perfect, but I promise much more is to come. Arigato for your patience... I'll be uploading the second part really soon. REVIEW MINNA!!! I need to know what you like or don't like and some guesses on Ryuichi's past would be nice. I still need ideas!