Well, well, well... what have we here? Could it be..!
Yup, I've finally snapped. Great, isn't it? I finally decided to up and write one horrifying little blurb that'll be quite entertaining for some, strange for others, and just downright embarrassing for me.
'Cause that's what you get when you write a self-insertion fic.
Yes, I have gone mad. Fear me.
This is what would happen, based on as much of what I know about what I would do realistically and somewhat unrealistically in certain situations, if I was suddenly and quiet literally dumped in the Aliens/Predator universe. First chapter is just an introduction to the real me, yeah, most of this is true, people! (on the first chapter) This is what I actually look like right about now with the hair and all that XD.
Have fun, and review if you can.
Oh joy, I thought as I slumped back in my chair, my fingers almost unconsciously rising to finger my newly colored hair. I smiled slightly, mom had always been so vengefully opposed to me coloring it purple, but just last week I'd been able to get her to cave, and this new style was the result.
My hair's natural color was a golden red, a rare color in my family. But I'd always wanted a wild color; being an artist and all, I guess the urge to be different was hard wired into me. Normally, I'd color it a bright orange –mom approved of orange; she said it matched me perfectly, and I agreed with her- but the store had either not gotten it in or had stopped getting it completely. If that was the case, I'd be pissed…
But this color was good, too. I'd come up with the style I wore it in myself, because I wanted this coloring to really give people something to do a double-take at. Instead of coloring it in purple highlights, like everybody else did, I'd colored it in horizontal stripes, almost like some sort of psychedelic bee. Heh, I'd gotten more people ask me how I'd done that in one day then the entire time I had when I'd colored my entire head an orange bright enough to give off it's own light.
Yeah, I was creative when it came to hair… but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what to write next on this damn story! I sighed, staring at the screen while trying to come up with some situation where my characters would establish their own individual personalities while drawing the plot forward towards the end that I already had planned and written in part. Writers block was so damn frustrating! With a growl; I opened the pack of mints that I always kept nearby –I think I'm addicted to mints, even though they have no caffeine- and popped one into my mouth, sucking on it as I contemplated.
Ugh, nothing. It didn't matter that the story was based on my absolute favorite subject in the movie world, Aliens and Predators -otherwise known as Xenomorph and Yautja-, I was stuck fast. With a mental snort I moved my head to look at the living room around me, taking my eyes off the computer screen for a moment as I searched for a clue to where I would go next. My eyes drifted lazily, languidly, until finally resting on the movie shelves that we had set up nearby.
Automatically, my gaze snapped up to read my favorite title, AVP. I let a ghost of a grin brush my lips while I looked at it; now there was a movie! Too bad I didn't have a DVD player in my room, else I would have been watching it yet again right at the moment. Somehow, it always served to give me inspiration when it seemed as if I would never be able to move forward in my stories, and the characters weren't half bad, either.
It would have been nice if I had the Aliens movies, though. They were the only things I was missing in my collection; I had both Predator movies and AVP already. It was a bit strange to have movies on the species that I didn't root for in the newest one, considering that I was a huge Xenomorph fan. Hmm… but I was looking for them, so it didn't matter.
I stood up from my large and comfortable wooden chair, one that I had found at a secondhand store and which originally came from a nice restaurant, and made my way over, taking the movie out from it's place and staring at the cover art. Again, I was amazed at how incredibly drawn I was to these damn movies, even from a young age. I had never been one of those girls that played with their Barbies and practiced at dress up, like my sister had done; no, I had been the one that had to have every alien action figure, using the creatures to eat all my sister's pansy-ass toys.
I was certainly a different child. Some would say insane like it was a bad thing.
I brought the movie back to my seat, plopping down in it while running my hands over the cover and reading the back for the hundredth time since I had gotten the DVD. Again, I contemplated exactly how awesome it would be for it to be real, to be able to participate in the events as they unfolded and perhaps even change one or two of them.
But… that was why people like me existed. It wasn't possible, so we would sit and write about our wishes and entertain others in the process. It was as close as we could get.
I wished I could get closer. Just to be able to say to myself 'they're real. You were right all along, Jess, they're real'. Hehe, never gonna happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? I mean, hell, dreaming was all I had left when it came down to it.
"Damn reality," I muttered, setting the tape down on the printer in front of me as I resumed staring at the screen. The noises of my mom making dinner drifted to me from the next room, and I grimaced; I wasn't feeling all that hungry right now. Heck, I hadn't been feeling hungry much since I had first begun my diet, almost a year ago. I guess it doesn't happen as much, when your body begins to realize that it doesn't need to eat all the time to stay fit.
"Hey, Jessie?" I groaned as my mom's voice drifted to me from the kitchen. She heard and her voice became slightly sharp, though she was used to this from me, "Oh, come on; you've been on that stupid computer all day. I was going to ask you if you could go out and feed the birds for me after supper…. Oh, and while you're at it, you could take out the trash, too. But first, help me set the table, Dad'll be home soon."
"'Kay," I said, shutting down the writing program and sighing when the absence of a pop-up told me that I had been staring at the screen for a full hour and hadn't changed or written a thing. Damn that writer's block! "Just give me a sec!"
I shut down the computer and walked into the kitchen, mechanically helping mom with everything while listening half-heartedly to her constant chatter. It wasn't as if I didn't love my mom, no, it was just that after a while I got tired of listening.
"Jessie? Jess, come on! I said we needed forks, are you listening?"
"No," I answered truthfully, grabbing the forks and arranging them neatly on the table… well, it was neat for me, meaning that they were pretty much thrown by their plates in the vague hope that whoever sat down would be able to find them. Pouring the drinks was more up my alley, so I went to do that and finally sat down, watching as mom finished preparing the last of the meal. It was the usual; which happened to be something I liked, thank the powers. Macaroni and cheese with hamburger, yum.
Dad came home, and I ate quickly, as I always did, my mind locked onto the computer and if I would ever get anything figured out on the story I was writing. It didn't seem like it, but I could hope. Hoping got me lots of places, if I was lucky. Considering I was lucky a lot, I usually had something come up.
I made as if to sneak out of the kitchen, but as always, mom was quick to catch me.
"Good, you're done," she said, "Now could you go and do as I asked before you get back on that computer… better yet, how about you just leave the computer be for a while and do something constructive?"
"Like what, play video games or watch TV?" I asked sarcastically, giving my mom a sly look to show her that I wasn't trying to be rude. There was a fine line between rude and funny with me, and most people couldn't see it unless they had known me for a long while, like my family and close friends… well, I only had about two friends that could be called anything near close, but that was beside the point.
"Just stay off it for a while, give your fingers and eyes a rest," she replied, using that insane parent logic that always seemed to work, even if it didn't make much sense. I sighed and grunted in answer; I hadn't been feeling all that well lately, and my voice was still a bit hoarse from the cold I'd gotten over. Those damn things clung to me like leeches, making up for the rarity of me ever getting sick.
I donned my coat, a newer thing made of synthetic brown leather and a thick ruff of fluffy material that wasn't quite like fur, but more like the crimped stuff on valentine's teddy bears. I had fallen in love with the thing on sight, which was rare for me, since I tended to get very attached to my coats and my old one had been with me for over two years. But it was far too big for me, now, since I had lost so much weight over the past year, so this new one kept out the cold much better. Plus, it made me look tougher, a feature that I always liked, being a bit of a stickler for the lone, mysterious figures in stories and such.
With a flourishing motion, I pulled my waist long, thick hair out of my coat, smiled as the colored strands flashed in the kitchen light. Man, I loved that! My mom shook her head and smiled as I walked out the door into the biting, freezing cold that I really didn't like all that much since I had almost froze to death –in my opinion- after staying over at a friend's house and sleeping on the concrete floor of the basement with exactly one blanket on exactly one sleeping bag that was far too small.
That hadn't been the most comfortable night of my life.
I forced my way through the thick snow that had fallen through the night, cursing as some of it entered my shoes and melted on my socks. Damn, that was cold! But I continued on to the garage, opening the door and staggering into the darkness. I fumbled for the light switch for a moment before remembering where it was, and with a sigh I lifted my hand to the correct panel and pushing the button.
The lights hummed on around me, and I shifted around for a bit before finally finding the birdseed. There was barely any left in the bottom, basically enough to dust the bottom of the feeder but not to do much else… Well, the birds could suffer for a while until we got more. Still, I made my way outside and filled it with the little bit I had, if only to show my mom that yes, I was indeed feeding the ungrateful ravenous birds that I felt more like shooting and frying up at the moment than feeding.
The snow up to my knees didn't help.
Finally, it was done, and I made a quick foray into the garage to turn off the lights and close the door before climbing up my porch again to grab the trash bags. I was pretty lucky that there was only two, and both were light enough for me to bring down with relatively little trouble. So, with a grunt, I hefted both of them and made my way carefully down our long driveway frowning as I saw that the way was darker than it should have been. I looked up quickly, and saw that the sky, which had been pretty light after dinner, was getting dark at a rapid and frightening rate. I shuddered slightly as I continued on my way, wondering what astrological event could possibly make the sky darken that quickly… there wasn't an eclipse today, was there? I'd be pissed if I missed it…
By the time I had gotten to the trash barrel and thrown the bags into it, it was almost as if night had descended upon the world. I grumbled and turned, but stopped abruptly as I saw a strange, wavering light ahead of me. It wasn't something like a headlight, no; I wasn't stupid enough to be staring at a headlight like some moron. Besides, it was green and purple, and it was swirling slightly in slow, languid circles.
Awesome… I thought, walking toward it slowly. It didn't seem to be substantial at all, merely a light hovering around four feet off the ground. I was entranced, and decided to do something that I normally would never have done.
I reached up and touched it.
The reaction was immediate. The light latched onto my hand like some invisible goo, spreading up my arm at a speed that I could only gawk at. Wherever it touched, I began to feel numb, as if my limbs were disappearing.
Great, I snapped at myself, What have I told you? Never make a split second decision!
Okay, so I guess I do talk to myself sometimes… must have got it from my mom. But this was a special situation, here! This light was practically eating me! I struggled, but the movement seemed to make it spread faster, and soon I was entirely covered. I could still see, although it was like looking through some weird glowing glass, but it wasn't hurting me… yet.
Suddenly, the ground beneath my feet disappeared, and I began falling. Only one thought flashed through my mind as the gut-wrenching sensation of descent intensified.
Oh, now that wasn't good…
Just tell me what you think (hides in corner)
