I, the author, make no claim as to ownership of "Hey Arnold" or any of its characters. For a full disclaimer, see Chapter 1.


IV
Love This Feelin'


The human brain is quite a marvel, really. It controls everything our bodies do, from breathing to maintaining balance, from blinking to... well, everything else. Millions upon millions of these miniature messages are sent out from the brain every second of every minute of every day to keep our bodies functioning properly.

Unfortunately for one Helga Geraldine Pataki, the messages sent to her mouth were coming back "return to sender."

"I... well... um... it's just... gaaah!"

Arnold looked more than a little concerned. "Is this one of those things you're gonna have to take me on Springer to tell me about?"

"Actually, Arnold, I'm a man," Helga deadpanned.

"Wait. I thought you were gonna tell me something that I didn't already OWWW!" Arnold brought his hand to the back of his head, trying to soothe his soon-to-be bruise. "Had that one coming, didn't I?"

He recieved no response. Maybe this wasn't his best mood-lightening effort, he thought. Time for another approach.

"Ya know, Helgs," he began as he put his arm on his friend's near shoulder, "if you don't want to tell me what's wrong, that's fine. But I hope you know that if you do tell me, you don't have to worry about how it sounds or what I'm gonna think. Just let me know what's on your mind, OK?" He pulled her upon his shoulder for a quick semi-hug.

"Besides," he started again, "if you can't trust your BBD, who can you trust?"

Helga smiled softly, even though she felt like she'd been punched in the gut. Those three letters were usually comfortable to her, but at this time, with this closeness, it was a fast and harsh reminder of what she didn't, and perhaps couldn't, have.

BBD.

Boyfriend By Default.

It had all started about two and a half years ago, at the beginning of tenth grade. they were already comfortable with each other, but since their own best friends were dating each other, Helga and Arnold made the extra effort to keep peace between themselves. They had actually gotten pretty close... a little too close to be just friends, in most students' minds. As stated in Section 4, Article 11, Paragraph 1 of the Popular High School Student Code, a boy and girl may not reach or approach the status of best friends, unless either one of them is gay, or they are having sex with each other. And since nobody thought (seriously, anyways) that Arnold was of the homosexual persuasion, the rumors began to fly.

The two blondes heard nothing of the rumors for the first few months of school. Had they caught wind of them, they would have found out (from very reliable sources, mind you) that Helga was using him to gain popularity, that Arnold was using her to make his ex jealous, and that they had sweet-talked their way out of suspensions for getting caught having sex in the janitor's closet... on three seperate occasions. They were oblivious to it all, in fact, until an early December afternoon during lunch, when the two of them were spotted by a certain Super Freshman.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Helga."

Helga sighed before answering the call. "Whaddoya want, Berman?"

"Nothin' much. Just wanted to see what was happening between you and your boyfriend!"

Confused, she replied, "We... broke up a month ago."

"Oh really? Then why are you still hanging around the taco head?"

"Wait, wait, wait," cried Arnold. "You're not saying... me? And her?"

"That's the story!"

"That can't be," Arnold reasoned. "We didn't break up."

"So you two are still dating!"

"No! We never went out in the..." Arnold was too late. The song had begun.

"Helga and Arnold sittin' in a tree, K-I-..." He paused in thought. "S..." His face suddenly turned from an angry one to a confused one. "...uh, line?"

Blink.

Arnold, bewildered, said the only thing he could think of.

"S."

"I know S. What comes after it?"

Blink.

Blink.

"I," said an equally stunned Helga.

"No, you idiot, after S, not before! You know what? Forget it! You're not even worth the whole song anyways!" With that, the large man left frustrated. Arnold and Helga, meanwhile, were more confused than either had ever been.

Once the shock of the stupidity had worn off, and they had pieced everything together, they thought it'd be best to ignore the rumors and let them die. Really, they agreed, how long could high school rumors last?

Thirty months later, they celebrated a supposed three-year anniversary by sweet-talking their way out of suspensions after getting caught having sex in the janitor's closet for the seventh time. And that's from a very, very reliable source.

Back in the world of reality, Helga was once again bewildered. She had the chance to put her deepest secret out in the open, as she'd wanted to do for the last three years. She had Opportunity knocking at the door. All she had to do was open up and say 'Hi,' but her courage just wouldn't allow for it yet.

She glanced over towards the keeper of her heart, racking her brain for the perfect way to explain everything to him and say the things she always wanted to say. She kept thinking of what to say, but when push came to speak, all she could do was babble like she always did, and hope something good came out of it.

"It's just that... well, you see..." One last gasp, and Helga finally gathered herself. "Prom is... something special. And I want to share it with..."

You. Say you. Damn it, Helga, it's not that hard! Say 'I want to share it with...'

"...someone special."

Arnold nodded. "So you were freaking out because you didn't have anyone special. Am I right?"

"Bingo," said Helga as she brought the last burger to her mouth.

"How about if you go with me, then?"

She gulped hard and froze. She had to have misheard it. There's no way he would have asked what she thought he had asked. Impossible. He must have been thinking about something else, like the school play, or a Mariners game, or the Home and Garden Show, or...

"Helgs, you still with the living?"

As her mind slowed down, she realized that she hadn't moved a muscle since he asked her the question she thought he had asked her. Heck, she wasn't sure that she had breathed since then. Quickly, she shook her head to wake herself up and try to make sense of what she (at least) thought he said.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was just..."

Thrilled. Excited. Dreaming of the two of us naked on a beach.

"...stunned, is all."

Arnold began to backtrack. "I mean, you've got nobody to go with, and I've got nobody to go with... it was just a suggestion."

Helga's ears perked up. "Wait a sec... did you just say you had nobody to go with? What about Alexis?"

Arnold sighed. "A couple of weeks ago... It was a silly arguement, really. She thought it was OK to kiss other guys, and I kinda disagreed."

"Ouch," she said, almost in physical pain from the hurt that Arnold must've been feeling. "You OK?"

"I'll survive," he said as he took one last slurp of his Dr. Pepper before setting it aside.

"Man, why don't you tell us these things?"

"I like keeping that sort of stuff private for a while." Arnold chuckled to himself. "Besides, the three of you tend to wish lots of ill will upon my exes. Am I right?"

I'll break her damn legs! I will break each and every single one of her...

"No way," said Helga as she smiled innocently. "I strictly believe in nonviolence now."

Arnold quickly smiled. "Ya know, the funny thing is you didn't even try to be sarcastic." The two shared a much-needed chuckle. Helga, though, quickly brought herself back on track.

"But honestly, you deserve better than that. I mean, what girl in her right mind wouldn't want someone like you to be with? You're sweet, and caring, and kind... and... and you're so cute when you blush!"

Sure enough, Arnold had turned five shades of red. For added effect, Helgs grabbed one of Arnold's cheeks and pinched away like grandma would. She let up moments later, feeling she had embarassed him thoroughly enough. His revenge would come quickly, for as soon as she pulled away, he dove in and tickled Helga like no human had e'er been tickled before. Satisfied, he pulled away, laughing hysterically as Helgs did the same.

"Ya know," Arnold started, "...we could do worse than each other, right?"

"Yeah... but not by much," she replied with a chuckle.

"So," began Arnold, with his smile widening by the second. "Are we on?"

Helga paused to make sure she said the right thing. I've wanted you to say that for years!... Of course I will, Football Head!... I'd love to!... Yes!... C'mon, Helgs, say something!

"...sure."

Arnold smiled as he took another sip of his drink. "Great. It's a date."

Helga smiled softly. A date... with Arnold... she liked the sound of that, she thought. Or at least she would've thought it, if her mind hadn't started doing backflips in celebration.


Well, I think it's time for some much-needed author's note... ness... ing. First things first, though. Everyone who's reading this, whether you review or not, I hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. I've had this story in me for a while, but with the demands of life and lack of a computer until recently, I didn't have the time or means to get it out. But now, it's out... and this time, it's personal.

Now to answer a few questions, in no particular order. Yes, Lucy, this is the story I was talking about when I had you draw the movie poster. I don't have it anymore (Stupid reformatting). Yes, Bea, I hate Milkshake (the song), but I do enjoy milkshake, the ice cream treat. And to everybody else, I'm glad you enjoyed the busy joke. I did too. More to come!