Gravity
Part Eleven
White.
That was the first coherent thought to filter into Neji's scattered sense of consciousness. He was immersed in white. After a few moments of consideration, he decided this was likely a good thing.
The rest of his senses were slow to catch up, but he gradually began to recognize the distinctive taste of sterility in the air. The smell, too, was a unique one, and he was able to place his surroundings by it. He was in a hospital. Good. That meant that he hadn't died, unless God had a very sick and ironic sense of humor.
"It's about time."
Yes, God would have to have been a very twisted individual indeed to subject a dead person to an eternity of Nara Shikamaru. No other person in Neji's acquaintance, or likely the entire world, would have been able to inject three words with as much impatience, personal offense, and relief as Shikamaru. The man had a talent for complaining, and it seemed that Neji was to be subject to it immediately.
Somehow, the thought was incredibly comforting.
Shifting slightly, he narrowed his gaze on the sour face of his comrade and felt a slight smile begin to tug at his lips. Shikamaru looked extremely discomfited and unhappy, perched there alongside Neji's hospital bed, and for some reason, he was highly amused.
It must have shown in his face, as Shikamaru scowled more deeply and crossed his arms. "I don't see what's so funny, Hyuuga. You've scared half the village to death and put the rest of us severely out of our way to watch over you and your woman."
It took longer than it should have for Shikamaru's statement to register, and Neji frowned, pulling himself to a cautious sitting position. His muscles didn't protest much, a miracle in and of itself.
Resting one hand on the railing designed to keep him from toppling onto the floor, Neji demanded, "What are you talking about?"
Shikamaru's lip curled and he jabbed one finger accusingly toward Neji. "You've been laying here still as death for two weeks. Hinata all but moved in for the first week, and Sakura and Tenten practically had to knock her unconscious to drag her away from here. The rest of us, which would be Lee, Shino and I, quite unwillingly, have been running back and forth relaying your every muscle twitch so that she doesn't worry herself into an early grave."
It was all said with a thick layer of disgust and in such a tone that might have been amusing under other circumstances. Neji, however, found no humor in Shikamaru's words; instead, he felt guilt, giant rolling waves of it.
He knew Hinata well enough to know that Shikamaru had not exaggerated that part of his speech. He also knew that she wouldn't be at ease until she had seen with her own eyes that he wasn't three steps from the afterlife, and that left him with only one course of action.
He would simply have to get out of this hospital bed and go home.
Tossing the sheet aside, he was in the process of rising when the doors swung open and Haruno Sakura made her way in. Her expression, at first joyous, quickly shifted to stern as she walked briskly over and wagged one finger at him.
"Lay down. It's too soon for you to be up and walking, and without an examination, no less." Her tone was all business, and normally Neji would have respected her wishes.
"I'm afraid that is impossible. I must get home."
Sakura made no indication that she'd processed a word he said as she pressed her fingertips to his shoulders and began guiding him toward the bed. "You can go home when you've been examined and checked out. You need to sit, Neji-san."
Frowning at her, he replied, "You don't understand-"
She began to speak right over the top of him and gave him a gentle nudge toward the bed. He found himself sitting without intending to, and he shot Shikamaru one veiled, annoyed glance. He was given sympathy but no assistance.
Feeling abandoned, he looked up at his nurse and tried again. "Hinata-sama will be worried. I need to go home."
"Hinata-san can wait a few moments. Shikamaru, why don't you go tell her that Neji-san is awake? It makes sense," she added, already beginning the motions of an examination when Neji opened his mouth to protest. "Surely you can't argue with logic. Shikamaru, stop rolling your eyes and go do it."
The other man scowled at her back and set off with a long-suffering sigh. Neji eyed her suspiciously and wondered how she knew that was precisely what Shikamaru had been doing.
It was ridiculous that he was being ordered about by a petite little woman. What he wanted, and his patience was beginning to wear thin, was to get out of this hospital. He felt fine, and didn't see why he couldn't leave. He voiced this and was given an imperious look that he might have admired on a different day.
"Neji-san, you were admitted two weeks ago with a deep wound to your stomach, internal damage, physical exhaustion, and with so much torn muscle tissue that I'm amazed we managed to reconstruct you at all. You fought when you were already at breaking point and caused as much harm to yourself with your chakra as you did to your opponents. I've never seen injuries to that extent in a living person. You're lucky to be awake at all," she added severely, though her hands were steady and patient. "So I don't want to hear another word of protest out of you until I'm finished."
He closed his mouth and stared silently at the wall, eyes unblinking, jaw clenched. She was simply doing her job, he knew, and it was for his own good, but that didn't stop the flood of irritation. Sakura had valid points, and logically, this examination would be over with sooner if he simply left her to her job. As it was, he had just done the mental arithmetic, and realized that he had almost slept through the end of the month.
Neji wasn't prepared for the slick bite of panic at the back of his throat at the realization. Had he remained unconscious two days longer, Hinata would have been forced to marry without his say, or relinquish her title as Head of family. He wasn't prepared for either alternative.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. It wasn't his place to feel this way, he reminded himself. Hinata would have to marry, and Otoya seemed the perfect choice. That didn't change the fact that he felt cheated out of two weeks' time, however, though he didn't know what he expected to have accomplished. What was there to be done? Even in his own thoughts, he couldn't deceive himself and pretend that he would have changed anything. Perhaps fate had been merciful in robbing him of those two weeks. It didn't give him the opportunity to do something foolish.
He opened his eyes as Sakura drew back and intended to nod politely to her, but his gaze was arrested by the figure standing in the doorway. His cousin was bracing herself against the frame, cheeks flushed and kimono slightly mussed as if she had just run quite a ways. For a moment, he didn't even remember to breathe, as her eyes bored into his and he saw tears well up there.
The next instant, she was crashing into his arms and pressing her face against his chest, her body shaking as she wept. Sakura scolded her half-heartedly even as Neji's arms were coming up around her, and he closed his eyes again, drawing her close. Nothing had ever made him feel so complete as this simple act of holding her, and even as he stroked one hand down her back to soothe, his heart splintered. He could hold her this once, but she wasn't his.
"I was so... afraid... you wouldn't ever..." He could barely make out the words, her voice was so thick with tears and hiccups as she tried to speak.
"It's all right," he murmured, cupping the back of her head and running his hand down the length of her hair.
"I missed you so much."
Her words squeezed his heart. "Hinata-sama..."
She pulled back, lips trembling as she took in his face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen from crying, and she was pale, so pale. The thought that he had caused her so much grief shamed him, and he knew he would never forgive himself for this day. He began to lower his hands, intending to let her stand, but she stayed firm in his lap.
Drawing one hand under her eyes, she rubbed furiously once before shooting him an almost defiant look. "I forbid you to ever call me that again, Neji."
There was a rushing in his ears, and he felt his body go utterly cold. So this was to be his punishment. Hinata would thrust him out of her life completely, and he found that he didn't blame her. He had only ever caused her pain, even now when he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Perhaps that was his curse.
Her hands were fever-warm against his skin when she cupped his face and whispered, "Just Hinata. I just want to be Hinata to you, Neji. Can't we be friends?"
She looked so sad. He didn't understand; she still wanted him in her life? When she was married, she would have to devote all of her time to her husband and her position. Experience had taught him that marriage was a consuming event, and often you lost track of your friends, especially when children started coming along. Children...
Hinata would have children with him. They would be happy, of course. Hinata and Otoya were almost perfectly suited in every way; they would raise their family with a gentle hand, perhaps too gentle. Their children might become unruly. He supposed that would be where he stepped in, in the role of 'uncle', to remind them whom they needed to mind and what was acceptable behavior.
He smiled slightly, the edges tinged with sadness. "I would be honored to be a friend of yours."
If he could have even that much from her, it was all right. It was a double edged sword, certainly, but one he was willing to shed a bit of blood for. As long as they still shared their morning talks, as long as she still told him of the trivial little things that she appreciated each day, he would be able to bear it. It would be enough to have her smiles, even if he couldn't have her...
Love.
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Wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, eh? I'm in the process of writing the next chapter, too; after my hiatus I seem to have a lot of inspiration for Gravity. Thank you to everyone who has waited patiently and reviewed to urge me to write! It really helps me!
