Chapter One: A Voice In My Ear
Raven sat in her room, staring blankly at a dark book she had been reading. She had been here for what the alarm clock told her had been an hour. She wasn't especially happy with herself, and she wasn't reading, though the book had been in front of her for nearly an hour. She was deep in thought.
She had always been a Christian at heart, but now, as she thought back to the tragedy of her life, she was separated. Did her friends really love her? And how could she be loved by Him if she didn't even love herself?
For a long time now, Raven had been feeling that she was completely alone in this cold, unfeeling world. Her friends didn't get it. They were always happy. None of them seemed to know what it felt like to live her life. No one ever showed any compassion for her. She was the ignored one, the one for whom no one cared.
Raven put the book on her packed bookshelf, then looked around. Why was she so different? She was like a streak of black placed unconcernedly on a white drawing pallet. She always had been. She supposed that she always would be. But why did she have to stick out so much? Did she really have a reason for being?
Raven suddenly realized a tear streaking down her cheek. Angry with herself for allowing any emotion to break through, she brushed it away fiercely. No, she thought, each word penetrating her mind like a nail through wood, I will not cry! I have practiced far too long for my emotions to cut loose now!
I just need to meditate, she thought to herself. She crossed her legs, and then began to levitate, chanting all too-familiar words. But even this was not enough to satisfy her undeniable urge to be cared for. Just concentrate, said her inner self, and she did. For a long time, her mind was blank. She felt, thought, and heard nothing. Then, a voice called to her.
"Raven," it said, deep and calm, "Where have you gone? Don't you know I've always been here?"
"Who's there?" she called out, opening her eyes.
"It's me, daughter, and I want you to come back to me."
Raven gasped. She didn't know that the Lord could be heard when He was speaking. Sure, she read the Bible, but she thought that God didn't speak to mortals anymore.
"I'm here, Lord." She called
"Raven, you are not alone. I have told you that I will not forsake you. You need not fear that."
"I know." She replied. She knew the verse well.
"Why do you think you're alone? Don't you know that your friends love you? Are they not your true friends?" He asked.
"I…always feel separate from them, no matter how they try to change that."
"Raven, it is because you have not learned to love. My Son said that the world will tell His people from the world by their love. You must share yourself with them, allow them to know you for who you are."
"It's hard. My emotions trigger my powers. If I let myself open up to them, my friends could be in grave danger. I don't ever want to cause them danger." Raven's voice quivered. Talking to the One who knows you better than you do isn't easy.
"Raven, do you not think that more danger can come when you do not have intimate enough a relationship with your friends that you don't share your heart? I have not forsaken you before, and you may cling to me when the road becomes narrow."
Raven was not afraid of her Lord, but she was nervous. She already knew that He knew her every thought, so she didn't understand why she hesitated. Go on, she thought; just ask the stupid question while you can!
"Lord, I have a question." Raven took a deep breath. "Why did you give me such horrible dark powers and such an awful life?"
For a moment, there was silence. Then her reply came.
"Raven, if you had not your powers, you would not have your friends. If you didn't have an awful past, you wouldn't have your powers at all. You are a part of my plan, Raven. There is nothing wrong with you in my sights."
Raven smiled "You're right. I may not have a God who saves me from heartache and misery, but I have a God who loves me enough to be there for me when trouble comes and to give me a life beside Him in eternity."
Now she understood. God had a plan, and she was a part of it. Whatever He had in store for her, she was ready and willing.
"Thank You." She said.
"Raven, you need only remember that I'm always here." He said.
After this, Raven felt Him leave. But she also knew that He had not truly left her, that she was not alone.
"I'm not alone." She whispered to herself, feeling reassured. She stood, turning toward the door. She had some sharing to do. She knew that her friends would be there for her, too. She would be all right in the end. But before she left, she stopped. Turning to the bookshelf, she picked up the most-used book there was. It was her Bible.
