Disclaimer: see Chapter 1


Chapter 5

We reached Malcolm's quarters without further incident. I was still uneasy at leaving him to his own devices in there, but Phlox had assured me it was okay - soon Malcolm would be back to normal.

Right. I could believe that - couldn't I?

I studied Malcolm. He was standing in the middle of the room in a state of poised readiness. He narrowed his eyes. "Is that all, Commander?"

Why did I feel like he was dismissing me?

"Yeah. Uhh, Malcolm, I really think it's best if you stay in here for the next couple of hours."

He sneered at me. "Really? Do you indeed?"

He crossed his arms - almost a challenge. I got the distinct feeling that he wanted me to make 'one false move'.

Now, I know Malcolm has his moments, but this was definitely not normal behavior for him. I began to doubt Phlox's judgment. After all, he is an alien, isn't he? I'm not sure he's got a grip on all the finer nuances of human behavior.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Malcolm?"

He rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Am I okay? Of course I am okay."

"Good-"

"Why wouldn't I be okay, with Porthos having the run of the ship, while I am confined to quarters?" He jerked his head to indicate his door.

"No - I'm not confining you to quarters" - although maybe that was not a bad idea - "It was a suggestion you stay here, that's all."

"A suggestion?" That seemed to mollify him some.

"Yes, Lieutenant. A suggestion from a friend. Someone on your side. Try to get some rest - it'll help, I promise."

He bit his lip and gave me a calculating look.

I piled in with additional ammunition. "After all, Watkins will get straight back to you if there's a problem, won't he?"

"Watkins? Yes… yes, he will. Very well, Commander, I will follow your suggestion."

Malcolm stood down from his 'immediate readiness' state and relaxed a touch. I felt a weight lift from me. Now I was much happier about leaving him on his own.

"Good. I'll leave you in peace, then." As I turned to go, I remembered Phlox's request. "Phlox said you were going to let him have those lozenges. I said I'd take them to him."

"Yes, I did promise to give them to him. Hold on." Malcolm rummaged around and pulled out the box. "Here you are." He held it out to me.

As I stretched out my hand to take it, he snatched it back.

"Lieutenant?"

"Sorry…" He offered it again, and this time I managed to grab hold of the box before he could pull it away. He turned his back on me with a wave, "Take them, go on… All of them…"

"Okay. Comm me if you've got a problem, Lieutenant."

"Yes, Sir."

I beat a retreat. I got to confess, I did consider locking him in, but decided it wasn't worth the risk. He'd only find out, and I couldn't imagine facing the fury that would be sure to follow. Or the combat training.

x - x - x

I wondered about these lozenges I was couriering to Phlox. Why had Malcolm promised them to him? Given the way Malcolm had recently described the Doctor, giving him a gift was most out of character. Of course, I only met 'maniacal Malcolm', 'paranoid anti-beagle Malcolm' and 'stupidly happy Malcolm'. Perhaps there had also been a 'generosity-itself Malcolm' at one stage?

Oh well, I decided it wasn't worth spending any more effort on trying to figure it all out. With any luck, everything would be back to normal soon. But what if Phlox had misjudged it all, and he thought Malcolm was already 'back to normal'? Was this as good as it got?

I tried to distract myself from those kinda gloomy thoughts. I rattled the box. Sounded like there were still a lot left.

My stomach rumbled. I had skipped lunch - there had been so much going on I hadn't given it a thought. There might be some leftovers - like Travis' moldy stomach lining - ugh - but nothing likely to tempt me unless I was real desperate.

The turbolift was empty - no witnesses.

I peeked in the box, only out of interest, you understand. I had been right. There were plenty of the black, luscious lozenges rolling around. They were almost screaming at me, 'eat me, choose me, go on'.

"If you insist," I said, to no one in particular. After all, I was sure Phlox would not begrudge one when he would have so many left.

I selected a victim and popped it in my mouth. I had forgotten how delicious they were. I began to feel more optimistic and a lot calmer. It was such a pleasant, warm feeling.

The turbolift reached the correct deck. I strolled along to Sick Bay, fighting the urge to eat another lozenge before they left my custody forever. No - I'd got to be firm. No more. But I had a plan. I could find out who had made them, and get some of my own. If it wasn't Chef, could it be someone else in his team? Or Hoshi, perhaps? She takes an interest in cooking.

I wobbled again, and nearly gave in to temptation, but then I was outside Sick Bay's doors, they opened and it was too late.

Phlox was working at a terminal. "Commander, did you get Lieutenant Reed to his quarters without any problems?"

I smiled. "Yes. We met Porthos but Malcolm didn't actually do anything, so I guess that is an improvement, huh?"

"Yes, indeed it is. I am waiting for the final test results to be computed, but I am confident my earlier analysis will hold. We can expect him to be fully recovered shortly." Phlox tapped away at his keyboard. "One moment. I have to send this message, then I will be with you… bat brains."

I blinked. No - I must've misheard that, unless it was a Denobulan curse, but then, wouldn't a Denobulan curse be in Denobulan? I shook my head. It really didn't matter. Phlox wasn't unduly perturbed, so whatever it was, it didn't reflect on Malcolm's condition. At least, I sure hoped it didn't.

Bat brains- I had an image of Malcolm hanging upside down in his closet.

Phlox gave a satisfied grunt and dispatched his message with a flourish. He turned to face me. "Now - do you have my lozenges?"

"Yeah." I offered him the box. It was strangely difficult to do that. I wanted to keep them all for myself, not let someone else enjoy them.

Phlox wrestled the box from me, and gave me an odd look. "Are you feeling all right, Commander?"

"Very well, Doc. I feel great!" A huge wave of well-being embraced me.

Phlox gazed at me a moment, and then went over to the disposal unit. Before I could stop him, he'd put the box in and activated the unit! All gone - the lozenges were all gone!

I was horror-struck! That was wanton vandalism! What was he thinking of? "Doc," I spluttered. "Why did you do that!

"Commander?"

"I would've had them if you didn't want them. They were delicious."

His mouth dropped open, and then his face darkened. "Oh, really, Commander! Am I to understand you have been taking Lieutenant Reed's medication? I had thought you would be more sensible than that! What were you telling me earlier about not taking in strange substances - various types of alcoholic beverages excepted of course, as alcohol doesn't figure apparently in your definitions of 'mind altering'…"

He was really angry. I'd never seen him like that before.

Wait a minute. My mind rapidly processed what he had said. Uhh…

"Doc, Doctor…" I tried to interrupt his tirade.

"…Starfleet officer, that is most irresponsible, no wonder…"

"Doc. Phlox! Stop, please. I didn't know, believe me - I didn't know it was his medication! Malcolm didn't tell me! You gotta believe me!"

He came to an abrupt halt and glowered at me. I wouldn't have been surprised to see steam coming out of his ears, he was that incensed.

"You didn't know?"

"No. Honestly."

Phlox calmed down a bit. "Hhmm. How many lozenges have you ingested?"

"Uhh. Two."

"Are you certain about that?"

"Yeah. Only two."

"And what was the time interval between them?"

I had no idea! Was that important…?

Phlox helped me out. "Did you take them less than one hour apart?"

Let's see, the first was before I delivered Malcolm to Sick Bay and the second one…"Yes. More than one hour between them."

Phlox gave a relieved sigh. "That is encouraging. However, I will have to give you the antidote, to be on the safe side."

"Antidote, Doc? Why? What does it do? If it's medication, it can't be that bad, can it?"

"Put it this way, Commander - are you having any beagle hallucinations?"

"What? You mean… you mean those lozenges are what caused Malcolm to go loopy?"

"Precisely, Commander."

I felt the blood rush from my face. I remembered Malcolm's paranoia. Was I suffering from it too? How would I be able to tell? I squinted into the shadows of Sick Bay, seeking ghostly beagles. Nothing - did that mean I was okay?

Phlox said, "I am sure that with such a small dosage and at that interval you will not have suffered any side-effects. No tripping for you, Commander!" His grin spread over his face.

Dammit! First the Captain and now Phlox. Why did I have to be the third in my family line? I know, I know - as Dad always says, think of it as 'character building'.

I ignored Phlox's amusement, treating the attempt at humor with the contempt it deserved. I needed to get this information straight. "So, these lozenges affected Malcolm?"

Phlox grew serious once more. "Yes. They did. I am afraid Lieutenant Reed did not have the same amount of willpower as you - he was unable to follow my instructions. It is regrettable, because this treatment is normally very successful. Unfortunately, it appears human physiology cannot deal with it."

I couldn't let Malcolm be targeted as the only human lacking in willpower. I hung my head and admitted, "The lozenges got to me as well, Phlox. I found them difficult to resist."

"Well, never mind. At least I will be able to treat you before any symptoms appear, although you may find the next day or so somewhat uncomfortable - withdrawal effects, you see. Actually… would you mind letting me monitor that? It would make a fascinating topic for a comparative paper: human and Denobulan responses to the Askaran Oculars…"

"I'm sorry, Phlox. I'm very busy in Engineering at the moment and…" I thought frantically. I didn't want to have to report to Phlox every hour. "... and I'm sure you got lots of data from Malcolm, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. Very well. It would have been a useful addition, but is not essential. Be assured, I will be recommending this substance is not used for humans in future."

I sat on a biobed while Phlox got the antidote ready and gave me a shot.

I gave him a rueful grin. "I should've listened to my Mom. Don't take candy from strange men!"

Phlox stared at me wide-eyed, then burst out laughing. "Quite, Commander," he said.

x - x - x

After my shot from Phlox, I got back to Engineering and normality. I was eager to get dug in to the injector assembly work.

"Everything okay?" I asked, checking the system readouts as a string of affirmatives came back in reply.

They were making good progress with the injectors. At this rate, we would be finished tomorrow. I'd only need a few more adjustments and test sets, and then a high warp session to give them the final trial. Numbers one and two injector assemblies were floating and the power system was balanced. Yeah, the power drain buffers were doing their jobs. I began with the adjustments for number three.

A tuneless whistle filtered through my teeth. I didn't know if the last lozenge was still working its magic, but I was feeling good. Everything was getting back on track. Well - except for Travis' betting pool. But even there… I wondered if the 'how Malcolm cracks' was still viable. I was sure shooting at his beagle sculpture counted as a 'rampage with a phase pistol'.

I had made a fair amount of progress when the nearest comm panel activated. "Archer to Commander Tucker."

"Tucker here, Sir."

"Could you come to my Ready Room, please?"

"On my way."

Seemed like I was fated to stay out of Engineering today. I made sure everyone was okay with what they had to do. Fortunately, I had managed to complete the number three assembly calculations, so there would be no hold-up on that account.

I made my way to the bridge, my mind still happily drifting between injector schematics and being on the winning side of a bet for a change.

The door to the turbolift opened to reveal Malcolm, waiting to leave the bridge. One look at him shook me out of my contented mood. He was ashen and tight-lipped. I caught a glimpse of a sour expression on his face before he drove it away.

"Malcolm - Are you okay?" I wasn't sure if he was fully recovered yet. Almost, I would guess, according to Phlox's reckoning.

"Yes, Commander," he said, carefully avoiding my eyes. He stepped into the turbolift, practically pushing past me.

I stared after him, wondering about the underlying harshness in his tone. Then the door shut.

What had he been doing on the bridge, after he had said he would remain in his quarters? I felt a flash of alarm. Had he been armed? I didn't think so… but…

"Trip!" It was the Captain, on the other side of the bridge. Oh well, at least he was still in one piece. I surveyed the bridge as I walked over to the Ready Room. No evidence of any weapons' fire, no one looking out of sorts - or stunned. I sighed. This was ridiculous. I was getting jumpy for no good reason.

I made my way to the Ready Room and the door shut behind us. The Captain sat down and gestured to me to sit as well.

"How are the injector tests going?"

"Good. People have been pulling longer shifts and we're ahead of target. Everything should be finished off tomorrow." It was going to be so good to get the problem licked once and for all.

"Excellent," said the Captain, although he seemed preoccupied.

I waited. He could have asked me this over the comm. There was more to come, I was sure.

He chewed at his lips, and then waved a finger at his monitor. "I've gotten another complaint from Phlox. Well, I guess you've seen it. It was copied to you as well."

I felt myself color. Damnation! I didn't think Phlox would complain to the Captain about a genuine error on my part. "Uhh, no. I've not seen anything. I haven't had a chance to check all my messages, though. Uhh, Captain - I didn't know about the lozenges. It was a pure mistake. I'm sorry."

"Lozenges, Trip? Let me stop you there. You are welcome to confess to your crime later, if you want - whatever it is - but this doesn't concern any 'lozenges', or you directly."

I blew out in relief. "Then…?"

"It's about Lieutenant Reed."

Oh, not Malcolm again! Was I ever going to have some time of my own again when I didn't have to worry about him too?

The Captain's expression was grave. "The message was sent to Lieutenant Reed, and copied to me and you, so it's not official - yet. Phlox is complaining about Malcolm's conduct. Apparently Malcolm insulted him repeatedly, and in quite… colorful language. Phlox lists you as a witness to one of these outbursts… uhh… not the bat brains one... or cuttlefish turds… Ahh yes, here we are - the one to do with amoeba."

Hellfire. I was struck dumb.

"Commander? Can you confirm this?"

"Uhh…" Yeah - still struck dumb.

"Let's make it easy for you. Did Lieutenant Reed say, 'Phlox has got less than the medical brains of an amoeba?'"

"Umm. I can't rightly remember exactly what he said." Which was true. I had been too horrified to take it in properly at the time.

"Did he say 'amoeba'?"

"Yes."

"Did he compare Phlox's medical skills unfavorably to said amoeba's? Commander?"

There was no way around it. The Captain had me pinned. "Yes. He did."

The Captain glowered at me.

I tried to defend Malcolm. "Captain. It's not Malcolm's fault." And Phlox knew that. What was his game?

"I wish I could believe that, Trip. However, I have just given Lieutenant Reed ample opportunity to explain himself, and he did not avail himself of that opportunity."

"What did he say?"

"That's just it. He said nothing. No - that's not entirely true. I think I got several 'Sirs', three 'Yes, Sirs' and one 'No, Sir'. Quite frankly, if Phlox does make this an official complaint, Malcolm is going to be in trouble. I had to read him the riot act about conduct unbecoming an officer - Malcolm, of all people!"

The Captain sighed heavily and ran a hand over his eyes. "I wanted to talk to you, Trip, seeing as you're his friend. I don't know. I thought I was making progress in getting to know Malcolm, what with our plans to watch water polo and everything. Somehow - by dangling the prospect of water polo in front of Malcolm, only to have it whisked away - I have managed to turn the model officer into a loudmouthed, trigger-happy lout! I wonder… I wonder if I've failed, Trip?"

He gazed at me, his distress almost palpable.

I gaped at him. He really thought that Malcolm was as besotted with water polo as he was.

"Captain, don't take this the wrong way, but have you eaten any of Malcolm's lozenges?" I would not have been at all surprised if the Captain had been indulging. He seemed as deluded as Malcolm!

"No. Why? That's the second time you've mentioned lozenges."

"Yeah, well. It's some medication that Phlox gave Malcolm, but instead of helping him, it made him a little crazy. He's been suffering from delusions. I'm pretty sure that would account for his uncharacteristic behavior. I'm surprised Phlox hasn't reported this yet. He had almost finished up his tests."

"So, you're saying Malcolm is not in his right mind?"

"Yeah. That's the size of it."

"Don't you think you should have - I don't know - told me, or something, seeing as how I am your Captain?" He was most annoyed. I didn't need to pay excessive attention to his body language to determine that! "Well…? Trip…? Commander…?" Each word was more forceful than the preceding one.

"Yes, Captain. But I only just found out what was the matter, and he was off duty…"

"And dangerous! I take it that the 'accidental discharge' was nothing of the kind?"

"No. But he wouldn't have hurt any personnel." I don't think Porthos counts as personnel - strictly speaking. I mean, he's on the manifest, but he's not got an actual rating. Looking at the Captain's stony face, I didn't want to make things worse for Malcolm by mentioning the beagle connection - particularly as he was almost recovered. "Malcolm's nearly better now. Phlox gave him an antidote."

"I see. I am not at all happy about this, Commander. Or with Phlox withholding important information from me."

Oh, he was real mad. I guess that having confessed to me he thought he was failure, he was entitled to be angry.

I gave him a weak smile. What could I say?

He glared some more then swore under his breath. Yeah. Real mad.

I sat in uncomfortable silence, treacherously wishing for a lozenge to devour. Just when I though I couldn't stand it any longer, a soft tone from the terminal indicated the arrival of a new message. The Captain automatically glanced at it, and then sat up.

He eyed me over the top of his monitor. "It's a message from Malcolm to Phlox, copied to us."

I waited as he read it through, a grin spreading over his face. "Captain?"

"Malcolm has apologized to Phlox. He has also offered to cancel the training sessions with him if Phlox feels he would be too busy to attend."

"The cunning… I didn't know Phlox had it in him!" Well, well, it seemed that Phlox had found a way to outwit Malcolm. My respect for him edged up a couple of notches.

"Me neither!"

Another message tone sounded. The Captain smiled. "Ahh - what a surprise," he said, sounding like it was anything but a surprise. "I have a reply from Phlox. He accepts the Lieutenant's apologies and will not pursue his complaint. He also tenders his regrets, and would like to inform Lieutenant Reed that he will be unable to attend the specified training sessions."

Another beep sounded.

The Captain said, "My, Phlox has been busy. A message to me now, marked 'Confidential'. Of course, I can't reveal the contents except to let you know it relates to the mental well-being of a certain crewmember, and a request I take it into account when evaluating his behavior."

The Captain sat back and grinned, the lines of worry falling away from his face. "Despite keeping me in the dark, it appears the situation is resolving itself."

"Yes, Captain," I said. "I've got the message, though. I'll tell you if anything like this happens again… unless I'm the delusional one, that is!"

"Ha! Let's hope we don't have to face that again! I'd hate to have to cope with a delusional Chief Engineer!"

"Or Captain," I retorted.

We laughed a little at that unlikely idea.

The Captain said, "Well, that's that - almost. Are you interested in watching some water polo tonight, Trip?"

"No, sorry, Captain. Not tonight. I have another commitment." I didn't mind the occasional match, but didn't want it to get into a habit.

"No problem," he replied easily.

I marveled again at Malcolm's inability to tell the Captain he didn't want to sit through water polo. It wasn't as if the Captain made a big deal of it. Never mind. Malcolm had eventually managed to get the message across somehow.

The Captain said, "Oh, before you go. I've got a list here."

He pulled a PADD from the shelf behind him and slid it over the desk towards me. I picked it up and switched it on. My heart sunk.

'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers'; 'Man of La Mancha'; 'The King and I'; 'Singing' in the Rain'… Oh, this was bad… very bad. Oh no. The list didn't end there. I scrolled down. 'Oklahoma'; 'Guys and Dolls'; 'The Sound of Music'. So many… or, to quote Malcolm, so, so, so, many, many, many. This was worse than dealing with Malcolm's 'funny turn'. I looked at the Captain. He had a soppy smile plastered on his face.

"A few suggestions, Trip. For Movie Night."

"Yes, so I see."

"All twentieth century classics. Could you make sure I know about them when you show them? I wouldn't want to miss any."

I scrolled down a bit further. "Yes, Captain. Uhh - 'Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves'?"

"I realize it's a little scary, what with the evil Queen and everything, but it's got some great songs!"

He took a deep breath. Oh no! He was going to break into song, I knew he was. I half-expected to hear an orchestra swelling up beneath us!

Quickly, I said, "Captain, I need to be able to take the ship to some high speed runs tomorrow, to test the injector assemblies. Will that be okay?"

He deflated. Literally. I could see his disappointment at getting back to ship's business. "I don't see why not."

"Thanks for this." I hefted the PADD, resisting the urge to shove it in the recycler. Perhaps I could accidentally delete its contents? I wondered if they were protected. If so, Hoshi might be amenable to helping. Feeling happier as the beginnings of a plan took shape, I said, "I better be getting back to Engineering."

"Right, Trip. Thank you for the talk. It's been most useful."

"No problem." Except for Miss Snow White and her entourage.

I made for the sanctuary of Engineering, wondering what I could possibly do about my reputation and the credibility of Movie Night.


TBC