Gravity
Part Twelve
"I would be honored to be a friend of yours."
The words were everything that she had wanted to hear and somehow heartbreaking at the same time, though she couldn't exactly put her finger on why. Hinata was happy that they would be friends, truly happy, but the edges of the feeling seemed frayed, as if there was more that should have been there and wasn't.
She just wanted him in her life. Friendship would accomplish that very well, wouldn't it? Even when she was married, she would be able to spend time with her friends as well as her family... Otoya was a reasonable man, he wouldn't ask her to stay with him all the time...
Trying to ignore the helpless clutching of her stomach, Hinata took a deep breath and smiled. Now that she knew he was alive, and well, she could go back to the compound and inform her father of the good news. There had been a tension in the halls of the Hyuuga estates ever since Neji had come home, and hopefully that would be released now. His life was no longer in danger, at least not for today.
A small noise behind her drew Hinata from her thoughts. It sounded distinctly like someone clearing their throat.
All at once she realized where she was sitting, and she felt all the blood in her body rush up into her face. She had been sitting on her cousin's lap -- on his lap -- in the hospital room, in front of other people! Mortification had her all but leaping back, and she stumbled in her haste to get up, nearly losing her footing entirely as she did so.
She would have fallen had Neji not caught her wrist and steadied her at just the precise moment even as Shikamaru pressed one hand between her shoulder blades. Feeling foolish, she brought her hands up in front of her chest and bowed her head over them briefly, murmuring a thank-you to Neji and then Shikamaru even as her face burned brighter than ever before. She was certain it looked as though she possessed all the grace of a large, dim-witted animal.
Added to everything else that had happened to her lately, she didn't think she could stand another moment in this room. Not with the way a smile was playing on Sakura's lips (not in mean spirit, she knew), and not with Shikamaru still watching her warily as if she might explode if not handled carefully. Worst of all, perhaps, was the quiet concern in Neji's eyes, and the way his hand still hovered in the air, as if waiting to catch her in case she tripped over her own feet on the way out.
She paused at the doorway, turned, and bowed at the waist to the entire room as she said, "Please excuse me."
When she had disappeared down the hallway, Shikamaru cast a quick, assessing glance around the room. Sakura had suddenly busied herself with charts, and Neji was frowning faintly after his cousin, his thoughts obviously following her sudden departure. He, unlike Hinata, didn't seem to be overly concerned with the impromptu display of affection.
With a man like Neji, that generally meant one thing.
Shaking his head, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned, tossing over his shoulder in a highly disgruntled tone, "I hope it's not catching," before making his way out of the room as well.
The sound of Sakura's laughter filtered out of the room after him, and he scowled further.
A woman would think that was funny.
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She was the luckiest and happiest woman in the world at that moment. No one, Hinata was certain, had ever felt such a rush of absolute joy as she had upon seeing Neji sitting up in bed. The emotion had warmed her entire body and washed away her every ache, and she'd known in that instant, that there wasn't a person alive who was more important to her, man, woman, or child. She had felt so empty when he was gone, and so worried all the time, that she hadn't been able to focus. No one else had ever inspired such strong emotions in her before; not her father, not her jounin-sensei, and not even Naruto.
Neji was different. He was special.
It had taken her nearly a month to realize it, and she wondered how she could have been so blind. In every moment of recent sadness that she could recall, the one to comfort her had been her cousin. His strong, quiet ways had been a source of strength for her, an inspiration, and she had drawn from him in attempts to better herself. She had come to seek approval from him as of late, and had found that even when her father slanted her tight-lipped smiles, she didn't mind as much, and they didn't hurt as much.
They didn't hurt because afterwards, when she was out in her garden, Neji would come and talk to her. He would smile at her, really smile, and that always made up for the forced ones of her father. She felt like she could handle anything if she knew come end of the day that the next morning Neji would be waiting for her outside with a simple, 'Good morning, Hinata-sama.'
The six days of his mission had been bearable, but only just so. She had begun long, rambling walks in her gardens, thinking of him and how she hoped he was all right. Truthfully, she hadn't given Otoya the attention she should have, and she was sincerely sorry for that. He was a wonderful man, and he would make a good husband to someone someday. She'd tried to make herself love him, she really had, but the feeling had always eluded her, and she hadn't known why.
She still didn't know why, but she did know that her world had begun to spin again now that Neji was in it, but it was moving too quickly. She would have to make a decision now, and marry a man she didn't love, and that wasn't fair to either of them. It was impossible for things to be any other way; there were no other prospects now, and it was too late to change her mind. Everyone was counting on her to marry and lead the family.
Neji... he was counting on her, too. He trusted her to be able to do this, and had put his faith behind her. For the first time, someone believed in her, really believed in her.
She was happy, so very happy, but at the same time, she wanted to cry. Emotions were such fickle things.
Hinata sighed softly as she reached out and fingered the petals of a pale blue blossom. There was nothing to be done now, she thought, save for accepting what was to be her life, and trying to be as cheerful as she could be. Otoya really was a nice man, and she knew that she would always deeply respect him and care for him a great deal. She was lucky. Many people didn't get even that much in marriage.
So preoccupied was she with her thoughts that she didn't even sense Otoya's presence until he was right behind her.
Her eyes widened a fraction and her heart thudded once, painfully, even as recognition sunk in. It took her a moment to regain her composure before she turned and offered him a faint smile.
"Ah, Hinata-sama, did I startle you? I'm sorry," Otoya said instantly, looking repentant.
She smiled and shook her head. "No, it's all right. I was just... thinking," she added at length, forcing her hands to still. She wanted to occupy them with something, anything, but she wouldn't allow herself. That was just one more weakness of hers... she distracted herself from things that upset her, and that wasn't being strong at all.
"Was there something you needed?"
He reached up and ran his hands through his hair, a habit she had come to associate with his being nervous. Concerned, Hinata folded her hands at her waist and angled her head slightly. "Is something troubling you, Otoya-kun?"
For a moment, he stood completely still and silent, but a slow blush began to creep up from the collar of his shirt. She watched, almost fascinated, as it crawled across his cheeks and spread to his ears. Still, he remained silent.
Worried now, she took a step forward and raised one hand, resting it gently on his arm. "Otoya-kun?"
He took one deep breath and began speaking all at once, in a rush. "Hinata-sama, forgive me if I overstep my bounds, but I feel I must say something. We can't marry, not you and I."
Hinata's hand dropped limply to her side as she felt her stomach churn once, and she thought that she might be sick. This was all wrong. She had to marry him, that was the way things had been arranged. If he didn't want to marry her, then she would have to wed someone who might as well be a perfect stranger. Of all the prospects, she liked Otoya best, and had thought that he felt at least a little for her.
Pressing one hand to her stomach, she prayed silently for it to stop twisting itself into knots.
What she had been intending to say when she opened her mouth, even she didn't know. She wasn't given the opportunity to speak.
"I can't, in good conscience, marry someone who... who... loves someone else," he finally blurted, looking horrified, ashamed, and relieved all at once. He began to stammer and slip over his words as he continued. "I don't mean any disrespect, and I hope I don't offend you, because you are a wonderful person and I like you very much, but I think you should marry someone you love. We don't love one another and I don't think that's right."
She couldn't think. Shifting her hand to her forehead, Hinata stared blindly about for something to focus on, anything, and stumbled to a bench. She sat and bit down on her bottom lip, rocking gently forward even as he continued to talk.
Dropping down next to her on one knee, he gripped one of her small hands in both of his and rubbed it gently. "Please don't be angry with me, Hinata-sama. I just... I think you should be married to the person you love..."
She was much too tired to react properly. Hinata continued to chew her bottom lip as she mumbled, "Otoya-kun... there's no one I love."
He shook his head, squeezing her hand firmly. "No, you're wrong. You love him, and he loves you, I can see it."
Slowly raising her gaze to his face, Hinata asked, "Who?"
"Neji-san," he replied, looking more nervous now than ever.
"Neji?" She echoed dumbly.
"Yes, Neji-san. Oh, I hope you don't hate me," he added, almost frantically. "I don't mean to intrude on your personal life. I just... Hinata-sama?"
She had closed her eyes and begun to small softly, almost sadly. "Love... is that it?"
It was Otoya's turn to stare. "You mean you didn't know?" It came out a bit more high-pitched than he'd intended. "Oh, God, what have I done?"
He dropped his face into his hands and massaged his temples for a few moments, mumbling under his breath. When he looked up again, Hinata had risen and moved to the flowers once more, obviously distracted by her own thoughts.
Deciding not to lodge both of his feet firmly in his mouth, Otoya rose and excused himself. She replied in a distracted manner, and he crept quietly out of the garden, hoping he hadn't just bungled his life entirely and offended the future Head of family.
He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he barreled quite solidly into another person when his intent was to go through the door. He flailed for a moment before hands steadied him, and he was mortified to find himself looking into the face of none other than Hinata's younger sister.
God, just strike me down where I stand, he thought helplessly.
Much to his relief, Hanabi only arched a brow at him and then lowered her arms, appraising him coolly. That act actually didn't do a lot for his nerves, but at least she wasn't scolding him for being so careless.
A Branch House member could get into serious trouble for offending someone from the Main house, even with Hinata and Neji having as much influence as they did nowadays. The last thing he needed after rejecting Hinata for marriage was to offend her little sister.
He stuttered an apology and bowed, intending to make a quick escape, but she stepped in front of him. He blinked, took another step to the side, and she mirrored it.
Otoya, naturally assuming the worst, was perfectly prepared to hit his knees and beg for forgiveness when she spoke. "Nicely done. You spared me the chore of telling her. Lovers can be so troublesome, can't they?"
"I-I-"
Her smile was quick and disarming. "All that's left is Neji-niisan, and I do believe it's my turn. You should lie down before you faint," she added, nodding toward him. "You look a bit ill."
Oddly affronted, Otoya drew himself up a bit and nodded civilly, but not with the general warmth and shyness that he normally did. "Thank you for your concern, Hanabi-san. Please excuse me."
Her eyebrows flew upward briefly, and she regarded him with a bit more interest. "Of course."
When he brushed past her, the color fading quickly from his face, she pursed her lips and considered him a moment.
"Well. It seems he has more bite than I gave him credit for. How interesting."
Tucking her own observations away, Hanabi flipped her hair over her shoulder and strode quickly from the garden. The task before her was one that was bound to be difficult, but if Otoya had managed to pluck up the courage to confront Hinata and force her to recognize her own feelings, it was the least she could do.
Love was such a bothersome thing. Half the time, she was certain, you had to be slapped into it. It was a very good thing she didn't have any intentions of falling.
How amusing a sight that would be if she actually did.
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Ta-da! Another chapter is in progress, too. I'm thinking I'll wrap this fic up soon and start on another one that'll kind of tie into this. A Shikamaru fic. Because he's so much fun to write for.
It's funny, but that's two songs now called Gravity that work for this fic! It was named on impulse when I first posted it (I usually like to complete a piece and then name it, but that wasn't an option here ;), but it's funny how things all fall together. There's the one by A Perfect Circle that Genesis mentioned, and also one by Vienna Teng that works for them perfectly.
Life is strange. XD
