Believe me, the title fits. That is all I have to say except: R&R!

It was a peaceful evening in Imladris, and Lord Elrond and his family were just sitting down to dinner. Celebrían was setting out the dishes, Elrond was waiting in a dignified, stately manner, Estel was contemplating how to tell an Elf-maiden how positively glorious her hair was (A/N: Arwen is still with Galadriel, Estel is not cheating on her!), and Elrohir and Elladan were eyeing the food impatiently. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to the adolescent elven princes, Celebrían set the last plate down and took her place just to Elrond's right. Elladan looked at her eagerly, and she laughed softly, waving a permitting hand towards the food. Immediately the twins pounced forward, clutching at the dishes and laying claim to one or another.

Elrond raised a condemning eyebrow, but Celebrían just laughed and lay a calming hand on his arm. He smiled and shook his head. After the boys, including little Estel, had served themselves, Elrond and Celebrían took their own share. After a moment, Celebrían rose to fetch something from the kitchen that she had forgotten. In a short time, a shriek was heard from that direction. Just as Elrond leapt from his seat to see what harm had befallen his lovely wife, she appeared in the doorway, looking more than a bit grey. "Whose duty was it," she queried shakily, "to clean out the cooler this past week?"

Estel and Elladan pointed instantly to Elrohir. Celebrían turned with raised eyebrows to stare at said elven prince. "Elrohir?"

"...Yes, Naneth?" He asked brightly, but with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Would you, while cleaning out the cooler, happen to have missed the lentil stew I made over a month ago?" Elrohir felt sick already.

"I...might have, Naneth." Celebrían nodded.

"Well, It is waiting for you next to the washbasin. I expect that it wil be cleaned out thoroughly, and that the clay jar will be returned- clean!- to its place in the cabinet. Understand?"

Elrohir nodded weakly."Yes, Naneth." Elladan and Estel snickered. Elrohir shot them death glares. They stopped.

20 Minutes Later

Elrohir walked gingerly towards the big clay jar on the counter. He looked pleadingly at his mother. "Naneth, may I pay Estel to do it for me?"

At the same time as Celebrían shook her head firmly, Estel's little voice piped up, "Sorry, El. You don't have enough money for what that is worth." Elrohir groaned and warily lifted the jar into the washbasin.

"Can I just dump it outside, then?" Another headshake from the elven Lady.

"The animals would get to it. Do it, Elrohir." He grimaced and pulled his robe over his face like a mask, pinching his nose through the cloth. Squinting, he leaned away and half-turned his head, then carefully lifted the lid a fraction of an inch.

Immediately he let it fall shut with a clatter and stumbled around the kitchen, groaning and moaning as if in pain. If he couldn't get out of it, he was going to do it with all the theatrics he could manage. "Oh! Oh, Naneth, for the good of all Arda, let us dig a pit and cast it in, never to let it be seen again! It will poison us!"

Estel had gotten a whiff of the stench that had escaped through the lid, and he pinched his nose too, then walked out of the kitchen. "Ugh! He is right. Why don't we bury it? The whole valley will smell of it by the time he's done!" Celebrían just smiled grimly and looked at Elrohir, pointing with a commanding finger at the jar. Elrohir, ever obedient, walked back over to it, very uneasily. As quickly as he could, he cast the lid off- careful not to break it- and turned the jar upside-down into the washbasin. Celebrían, at the other end of the kitchen, covered her nose and quickly left the room, leaving Elrohir alone with the unspeakable stench.

Elrohir's face was contorted into a grimace of disgust as he rinsed the jar with only a washcloth to shield his hands. He fought down the sick feeling in his stomach and scrubbed the inside of the jar, then set it to the side and carried the washbasin outside, emptying the queasily colored water at the foot of a tree nearby. Maybe the bacteria would help the tree grow. Then he refilled the washbasin from the stream and lugged it back inside, ready if not willing to begin the next phase of the chore: sanitization.

As I said, almost completely a real-life experienceand yes, I was Elrohir. It was torture. The next chapter should be up shortly, as soon as I figure out how to fit antibacterial soap, Brillo pads, and bakingsoda into Middle-earth.