Assigned Seats
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enemy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS
*Warning* Slash
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.
Chapter 1 What the... Fuck?
Harry plopped his books down on the desk in front of him. He really should look forward to DADA more. He loved the subject. He always got good grades in it, the new teacher was amazing, the best they had had, even better than Lupin and that was saying something. She seemed to know everything and she was really pretty, Ron had a tendency to drool in class. She was young, and sometimes acted a bit like them, making jokes and mouthing off. She was a fantastic teacher, and he loved learning what she taught. He just couldn't understand why he dreaded the class.
A set of books was elegantly placed next to his. Oh, yeah, now he remembered. When Professor Summers had heard about the house rivalry she had decided to do something to change the violent hate between the houses, and brought in the idea of assigned seating. In the DADA classroom the desks sat two people and Professor Summers told everyone where they HAD to sit. It was just his luck that his seating partner happened to be Malfoy. Harry moaned and lay his head o the desk.
"Something the matter Potty," came the expected snide remark from next to him.
Harry tried his best to ignore him, scrunching up his fists in frustration. Malfoy smirked beside him.
"Aww, is little Potty feeling depressed?" Malfoy taunted, "Why don't you call your Mudblood over here, I'm sure she'd be happy to cheer you up!"
Harry had had enough. He called Hermionie a mudblood and implied that... well...
"HOW DARE YOU!!!" Harry screamed, in his anger completely forgetting that were in class, and jumped Malfoy. Malfoy was so shocked at Harry's actions that he just stood there and allowed himself to be attacked for a few moments. The first punch from Harry brought him out of his stupified state of being and he started hitting back. The two boys rolled around on the floor for a while trying to get a good punch in, until both Malfoy and Harry jumped back to their feet. The circled one another, both hissing and growling at one another, until they became aware of the laughter coming from the front of the room.
Both of the striking males turned their anger towards the Professor standing at the front of the room, holding her stomach as she laughed. The DADA professor became aware that the boys had stopped fighting and so gradually she stopped laughing and straightened up, meeting the glares of the boys' head on.
"Man!" she exclaimed, "Can you guys just fuck and get it over with?!? Please!"
A deadly silence lapsed over the room. Both Harry and Malfoy were socked out of their anger.
"W-wh-what?!" Harry stuttered, Looking at the professor as if she were crazy. He turned his head to Malfoy giving him a once over before shaking his head at the absurdity of the professor's accusation, and returning his eyes to the offending personage. Draco had a very similar reaction to Harry, and instantly came to the conclusion that the professor was absolutely bonkers!
"Oh please, don't tell me that I'm the only one who feels the sexual tension," she pleaded.
The class remained silent, giving her blank stares of confusion.
"Ok," the pretty, little, blond professor stated exasperated, "Forget I said anything, just pretend it never happened!"
She rolled her eyes for dramatic effect.
"Teenagers," she muttered. "But now I'm gunna hafta punish you for fighting in class, sorry boys. Hmmmm, but what shall it be..." she pondered upon the possiblities. "Detention seems like the obvious but in my experience never works in changing the behaviour of the student, taking house-points would be useless. Hmmmm... What oh what shall I do."
After a few moment of thinking Professor Summers began to smirk.
Uh oh!, Harry thought, now we've done it... He knew that look. It was the look Ron got when he had a brilliant plan, and it usually ended up with both of them in either detention or mortal danger.
Malfoy also recognised 'The Look.' He had used it many a times himself and the results were never good. After some consideration Professor Summers decided that her plan, if it would not discipline them, would at the least, be hilariously amusing for her to watch, so she gave herself the go ahead with it, despite the ramifications of the her plan... Snape would be pissed for one, Harry would probably never trust her again. Malfoy would, without a doubt, try to kill her. On the bright side, she knew Dumbledore would find it amusing.
"Adligatus," she said with a smirk.
Harry's eyes had been shut tight, since he'd first seen her smirk, but after hearing her spell he didn't feel like a fish, or a tree, or anything equally as weird, so he felt it safe to open his eyes.
He was wrong.
The first thing he saw was Malfoy looking at his wrist in horror. The second was the chain that attached Malfoy's wrist to his. He looked up at the professor, disbelief clear in his eyes.
She giggled. "I saw it once in an episode of 'The Simpsons'."
To be continued... Please feedback!
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enemy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS
*Warning* Slash
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.
Chapter 1 What the... Fuck?
Harry plopped his books down on the desk in front of him. He really should look forward to DADA more. He loved the subject. He always got good grades in it, the new teacher was amazing, the best they had had, even better than Lupin and that was saying something. She seemed to know everything and she was really pretty, Ron had a tendency to drool in class. She was young, and sometimes acted a bit like them, making jokes and mouthing off. She was a fantastic teacher, and he loved learning what she taught. He just couldn't understand why he dreaded the class.
A set of books was elegantly placed next to his. Oh, yeah, now he remembered. When Professor Summers had heard about the house rivalry she had decided to do something to change the violent hate between the houses, and brought in the idea of assigned seating. In the DADA classroom the desks sat two people and Professor Summers told everyone where they HAD to sit. It was just his luck that his seating partner happened to be Malfoy. Harry moaned and lay his head o the desk.
"Something the matter Potty," came the expected snide remark from next to him.
Harry tried his best to ignore him, scrunching up his fists in frustration. Malfoy smirked beside him.
"Aww, is little Potty feeling depressed?" Malfoy taunted, "Why don't you call your Mudblood over here, I'm sure she'd be happy to cheer you up!"
Harry had had enough. He called Hermionie a mudblood and implied that... well...
"HOW DARE YOU!!!" Harry screamed, in his anger completely forgetting that were in class, and jumped Malfoy. Malfoy was so shocked at Harry's actions that he just stood there and allowed himself to be attacked for a few moments. The first punch from Harry brought him out of his stupified state of being and he started hitting back. The two boys rolled around on the floor for a while trying to get a good punch in, until both Malfoy and Harry jumped back to their feet. The circled one another, both hissing and growling at one another, until they became aware of the laughter coming from the front of the room.
Both of the striking males turned their anger towards the Professor standing at the front of the room, holding her stomach as she laughed. The DADA professor became aware that the boys had stopped fighting and so gradually she stopped laughing and straightened up, meeting the glares of the boys' head on.
"Man!" she exclaimed, "Can you guys just fuck and get it over with?!? Please!"
A deadly silence lapsed over the room. Both Harry and Malfoy were socked out of their anger.
"W-wh-what?!" Harry stuttered, Looking at the professor as if she were crazy. He turned his head to Malfoy giving him a once over before shaking his head at the absurdity of the professor's accusation, and returning his eyes to the offending personage. Draco had a very similar reaction to Harry, and instantly came to the conclusion that the professor was absolutely bonkers!
"Oh please, don't tell me that I'm the only one who feels the sexual tension," she pleaded.
The class remained silent, giving her blank stares of confusion.
"Ok," the pretty, little, blond professor stated exasperated, "Forget I said anything, just pretend it never happened!"
She rolled her eyes for dramatic effect.
"Teenagers," she muttered. "But now I'm gunna hafta punish you for fighting in class, sorry boys. Hmmmm, but what shall it be..." she pondered upon the possiblities. "Detention seems like the obvious but in my experience never works in changing the behaviour of the student, taking house-points would be useless. Hmmmm... What oh what shall I do."
After a few moment of thinking Professor Summers began to smirk.
Uh oh!, Harry thought, now we've done it... He knew that look. It was the look Ron got when he had a brilliant plan, and it usually ended up with both of them in either detention or mortal danger.
Malfoy also recognised 'The Look.' He had used it many a times himself and the results were never good. After some consideration Professor Summers decided that her plan, if it would not discipline them, would at the least, be hilariously amusing for her to watch, so she gave herself the go ahead with it, despite the ramifications of the her plan... Snape would be pissed for one, Harry would probably never trust her again. Malfoy would, without a doubt, try to kill her. On the bright side, she knew Dumbledore would find it amusing.
"Adligatus," she said with a smirk.
Harry's eyes had been shut tight, since he'd first seen her smirk, but after hearing her spell he didn't feel like a fish, or a tree, or anything equally as weird, so he felt it safe to open his eyes.
He was wrong.
The first thing he saw was Malfoy looking at his wrist in horror. The second was the chain that attached Malfoy's wrist to his. He looked up at the professor, disbelief clear in his eyes.
She giggled. "I saw it once in an episode of 'The Simpsons'."
To be continued... Please feedback!
