Spiffy duds, spiffy job, spiffy music, spiffy day. Yes, that's right, I, Greg Sanders, am having the best. Day. Ever.
Even get to score a perfect ten on the table slide to the doughnuts. Jelly! Yes!
And I'm almost certain Grissom was gonna grab it. Can't beat the Greg-man, that's for sure. Oo, gossip! . . . Okay, so maybe not the most flattering gossip for the male gender, but hey, it was about time Gruesome Grissom got some. Maybe now he'll be less of a crab in the lab. Okay, maybe more of a crab?
I don't think that's possible.
So, I get assigned to an actual case. Score. Get to work with Cath on some missing girl. First stop missing persons, next stop homicide.
"so where do we start?" I say, rubbing my palms together.
"First, you are going to wipe that icing sugar off your face, cause you look ridiculous"
"Why don't you wipe it off for me?"
"No offence Greggo, but you don't know where I've been"
"Does Grissom?"
"Hey. Don't go there, kid"
"Ouch, but aren't you just a tad curious as to who Grissom was getting twisted with?"
"Case. Missing six year old. Ring a bell?"
"Yeah, I'll be in DNA and try and find a match to that mysterious substance at the scene"
"Good boy. I'll go over the paperwork"
"Lucky you"
Man, that lady can sneer. Kinda sexy, really. But then again, I know her limits to how much Greggo the ladies can handle. So, I'm back in my lab now, waiting for the machines to do my work for me. Hah. They actually think I do stuff, but little do they know I get paid for doing the job of a monkey. A monkey. Y'heard me. Yup. I don't really know how to take that. . . test results aaaaaaaannndddd. . .
"Greg, have you seen Sara?"
"Not here, Nick. Or, is she?" I love messing with their CSI minds, is she? Isn't she?
"Ha ha, cut the crap, Greg, is she here?"
"Do you see her here?" For someone as supposedly smart as Nick, he obviously isn't thinking too well. My room's a set of glass windows.
"Well, no"
"There's your answer, now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of something important"
"Yeah, dancing to your radio. How can you listen to that stuff?"
"How can you NOT listen to a little Punk Rock"
"By focusing on my job, brainiac"
Aw no, not another speech on workplace concentration, I completely zone out on those. Quick, think fast.
"Oh look! I saw Sara over there!"
"Where?"
"Going down the hall. Quick, you can still catch her!"
"Thanks Greggo"
Hah, I don't know where she is. Back to work. Right, test results. Mystery substance on missing girl's floor? Ice cream and dog slobber. Okay, I have got to tell Cath. . . when she passes by. There she goes!
"Cath!"
"Greg! What've you got for me?"
"Trace residue? Mint choco chip ice cream and dog slobber"
"Dog slobber. And Ice cream. Okay. . . anything else?"
"Nick was looking for Miss Thing"
"Yeah. I know."
"What don't you know?"
"Where this little girl is"
"Touche"
"Wait, I'm getting a call. Willows. Yeah. Working it now, found ice cream and dog slobber. . . Huh? You can't be serious. Okay, well I'm glad she's fine. Yeah. Thanks. Bye"
"Find the kid?"
"Yeah, apparently her and her Saint Bernard went galloping off toward the desert. Cops found her riding the dog along a main road."
"What are the chances of that?"
"'Bout a million to three, maybe? I've got paper work to fill out, so. . . make yourself useful, got it?"
"Lab duty. Got it" giving her my patent Greg salute, I watch that beautiful woman trot out of my lab as I dump the would be evidence into the trash just in time to see Warrick.
"Enter into my lab, kimosabe" I say with a debonaire crack of the fingers.
"Huh?"
"C'mon in. Whatcha got for me?"
"Some drug implements, run DNA, etc."
"Sure thing daddio"
"Yeah. I'll be back later" that man looks slightly disturbed. Maybe he knows what Grissom did last night. Man, life sure must be boring for me to care. . . meh!
"Don't get your shirt twisted in the door!" hehe I love messing with their minds. They don't call me a genius for nothing. Now, if only I can figure out what Grissom was doing last night. Speaking of which, here comes Mr. Gruesome now.
"Hey boss"
"Greg. What are you doing?"
"Running DNA checks for Warrick?"
"Okay. Um, I want you to run this. Now"
"Ah. Gotcha. . . What do you want done?"
"The works."
"Got it. . . So, what's her name?"
"Greg! Just run it"
Woa, hit a sore spot. Maybe there's another approach.
"Doesn't matter what the others say, I think it's about time you had a date"
"Really?" I can never tell if he's serious or not. Kinda creepy. Defensive tactics, talk without looking at him, and no harm done, right?
"Yeah, I mean, c'mon, you've got as much right as anyone of us. Probably more"
"What's that supposed to mean?" stealing a glance, I can see him wiping his eyes with his fingers. He isn't gonna be too happy when he figures out he's smudged his glasses. Of course, though, with Greg Sanders on his team, I've got it covered.
"Woa, hey"
"What?"
"Glasses" I pass him an extra lense cleaning cloth I keep in a drawer for my microscopes as he gives a patent Grissom Grimace,
"Thank you, Greg"
"No problemo, boss man. So, you gonna tell me what you were up to?"
"Something that has to do with a lot of sheets and a very pretty woman. Enough?"
"Yeah. You know what they say" wait till I tell Cath. Or anyone for that matter.
"What do they say?"
"Go get 'em, tiger"
"Right"
Wow, my lab's just a regular hub of activity, here comes Brass.
"Gil! There you are, I. . . uh, we need to talk"
"Ahoy, Captain, what's shakin?" secretly he likes me. I know he does. . . even if he scowls like the devil incarnate.
"Uh, nothing. Hey Greg, don't you have a microscope to look through or something? C'mon Gil, in your office. Now." ouch. Wonder what Grissom did that was so important Brass would cart him out to his office. Wonder if it has to do with why Sara was so skippy in Break Room. . . ooooo wonder if she's the pretty woman. . . nah.
"Hey, Sara. What's up?"
"I need you to run this for a DNA profile." are her eyes puffy? Can't tell with all that grease on her face.
"Allergies?" I point to the kleenex box, probably something in the car.
"(sniff) Just run it, kay?"
"Righto" starting the process I've done a million and one times before I ask,
"You okay? Looking a bit melancholy there"
"I'm fine" now that was a lie.
"I thought you looked good today" something's up. Maybe my theory about her and Grissom is acurate? Who am I kidding?
"Thanks. I got all greasey. So much for looking good" I don't think she knows I heard that. Ouch, that is some serious pain. Thankfully I keep an emergency date kit in my desk.
"Here" getting out the bag, I slap it into her hands.
"What's this?"
"Face wipes, lemon fresh anti-grease hair cleaning spray, a mirror, a comb, and the piece de resistance? Hair gel in a spray bottle for easy, clean hair fixing. Sorry I don't have mascara, but as you can see, my eyelashes are pretty beautious already" yes, I got a laugh!
"Thanks. Hows my DNA coming?" Sara asks, holding onto my bag like a kid needing a security blanket.
"Yeah, that. . . it'll take a minute. Enough time for you to freshen up"
"You're good to me"
Where did THAT come from? How am I supposed to answer that?
"I'm just taking care of one of my friends"
"Friends. Right"
Okay, now I'm interested.
"Spill".
"Huh?" she mumbles over the mirror and a face wipe. Sara looks really guilty about something.
"You can talk, or Whatever" little too forceful there, Greggo. It's a chat, not an interrogation.
"Nick's being impossible" she says over a spray of de-greaser. My own personal concoction of leave in shampoo, lemon essence and some select chemicals.
"Nick or you?" Big mouth? Shut up!
"It's not my fault he's immature and unreasonable! He had no right to tell me who I can date!"
"Woa girl! Seems to me your last night's activity doesn't meet with Nicky's approval"
"Apparently! So what if he's older than me! He's super educated, smart, attractive, an awesome kisser. . ."
Older. . . Nick's upset. . . Sara's red in the face and upset? Grissom smiling? Brass on Gris' ass? Catherine telling me NOT to go there? Oh. My. DUDE!
"YOU'RE THE PRETTY WOMAN!"
"WHAT?"
"OOOHHHH man! You 'n Grissom?"
"SHUT UP!" she's bolting!
"Sorry, sorry! I just . . . wow, dude! He is SO into you! Never thought you're one for the more distinguished, but hey, whatever floats your boat"
". . . you're the first person whose been cool about this"
"Yeah, well. . . whatever. I guess I'm just that kinda guy" Dammit! So much for Greggo, oh well, be super nice and sensitive now, later on, I might just score. Okay, I'm not that heartless, but hey, this has got to have a huge spillover. Like lab-go-boom spillage.
"H.. how's the DNA coming?"
"It is. . ." I peek my eyes over the paper, drawing up as much tension as is possible and?
"Your vic's"
"Serious!" woa! almost got a paper cut from that grab.
"Her own DNA in her own car" sucks to have no leads. At least I know what's going on in the Lab, though. Go me.
"Dammit! I thought for sure it would've been a lead!"
"Got anything else?"
"No! That took me three hours!"
"Sorry I couldn't be of more help. See you at report?"
"Yeah. Thanks anyways"
"Why else am I here?"
Wow. Sara and Grissom. How did that happen? Maybe it's better not to ask. Sara's backed out and is gone. Guess it's time for a break, and who knows what later.
