Theresa closed her eyes as she gently bit the bottom of her lip and hung her head in shame. Just the mere thought that Crane blood ran through her children made her teeth cringe. 'How could I have let myself get involve with another Crane?' she thought regrretfully. She hated herself, she hated that she had infected her own children with the Crane blood. 'What kind of a mother allows her children to be punished like that?'
After waiting for what seemed like an hour to Theresa, which in fact was only 10 minutes, Eve came in to check on Theresa.
"Please, Dr. Russell: Theresa began her plead, "what's going on with me?"
Eve knew Theresa, she had for the longest time, but she didn't know who the girl laying before her was. She was so different, so fragile. Looking into Theresa's big, brown eyes she knew she had no choice, but to tell her the honest truth. She wasn't going to try and hide anything or sugarcoat it. Theresa needed to hear it and if anyone should tell her it should be someone she at least knows. Her mother was gone, as was the rest of her family. Eve figured it was the best thing if she broke it down gently to her.
"Theresa, honey, have you been feeling a little depressed? You know, with the whole divorce and all?" she asked as she took a seat next to Theresa and felt for her pulse.
"No, not depressed," she said sounding as though she was going through something else, which made Eve wonder what it was. "I love my children, Dr. Russell, and Fox..." she paused as her caged up tears and fear began to break free. "Well you know...he's trying to take them away from me. He wants me to have nothing to do with them. Dr. Russell, I don't think I can live without them."
Eve looked on at Theresa with such empathy. She understood what it was like to lose a child. She hated seeing it happen to anyone, no matter what. She knew that Theresa was a good mother, but after this she wasn't so sure the courts would agree. "I know, honey," she said as she put a fake smile on her face. It was impossible to smile in instances like this.
"I've been feeling angry and...and well hurt," she said confiding in a woman who was like a second mother to her. "I can't lose them. I just can't." Theresa's thoughts quickly changed directions as she finally asked "Why am I here? What happened?"
"Theresa, I'm not going to lie to you," Eve said with a look of serious concern in her eyes. "You were brought into the emergency room for a drug overdose. We found a drug in your system that your doctor didn't seem to prescribe for you. Theresa, where did you get those pills?"
Theresa couldn't believe it, she had overdosed. She felt so ashamed, and so small, insignificant. She felt as though she was being surrounded by this big world that was only out to get her. Theresa wanted to run, she wanted to avoid what had happened, she wanted to go home, but that didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon.
"Theresa, where did you get those pills?" she asked Theresa once more.
Theresa's mind went blank. She had nothing to say. She silently stared off, just wishing to wake up and find out that this is, or rather that her whole life was just one big nightmare. Her breathing became more intense as she struggle not to have a nervous breakdown. Tears crept out from the corner of her eyes as she began to look terrified. "No, no," she cried quietly to herself as she swayed back and forth. "This can't be happening, it can't be happening," she said in denial while biting her lower lip.
Eve could see that Theresa was not in her right mind. She wanted to help her, but first she needed to calm her down. Eve went in a drawer and pulled out a syringe. A nurse had brought a vile of some kind of medication to Eve, and Eve quickly filled up the syringe. Theresa grew wild as she saw Eve approaching her with the syringe in her hands. She cried out for Eve not to come near her. With every step Eve took, Theresa grew more wild and terrified. "Please just leave me alone," she cried loud enough for people in the waiting room nearby to hear.
Fox was one of the people in the waiting room. His attention shot up like some kind of an animal as he heard Theresa's cries. He rushed over to her room, but by the time he got there Theresa was quietly asleep. Fox stood looking confused at Eve. He swore that he had just heard her crying.
"What happened? he asked quietly as he made his way inside Theresa's room. He stood away from her though, he kept his distance, least she should awake.
"Fox, can I speak to you in my office?" Fox nodded his head as he followed Eve. Eve closed office door and told everyone that she was no to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. "Please, sit down," she told Fox as she took a seat across from him. "Fox, Theresa is on a path to suffering a nervous breakdown. She's not very stable right now. I had to give her something to calm her down. Now, I know you two aren't married anymore, but even so I'm sure you still care for her deep down in your heart."
"Of course I do," he replied quickly, "I wouldn't have brought her here if I didn't. Dr. Russell, she's the mother of my two children. No matter what we're always going to have a bond."
"I'm glad to hear that," she smiled weakly as she studied Fox's eyes and expressions. "I want to ask you something, Fox, so please try and be honest. You say that you care about her, and if that's true why are you filing for full custody of Alex and Alexis?" Fox quickly arose to his feet and headed for the door. He didn't want to hear Eve lecture him, as everyone else in his family, friends, and all of Harmony had been doing. "Don't you understand what this is doing to her?" Eve shouted at him as he left her office, slamming the door behind him. "She'll lose her mind yet," Eve said quietly to herself once he had gone.
Fox was so aggravated by now that he took a wrong turn while trying to leave the hospital. He stood in the middle of the hallway trying to figure out which way he needed to go. He noticed that where he was seemed familiar and that's when it hit him, Theresa's room was to the left of him. Fox head told him to leave, after all he knew which way was out now, but his heart told him something else. Fox found his feet leading him directly to Theresa's room. He leaned forward against the doorway as he watched Theresa begin to wake up. He knew that he should go before she woke up, but his feet were as though they were plastered to the ground. He smiled as he heard her groggy moans. He remembered hearing those same moans after a peaceful night's rest. Fox couldn't help but remember her waking up beside him and placing a kiss every morning on his cheek. That was in the far past though. A long time ago before he let Alistair run his life. "Dammit," Fox whispered quietly to himself as he turned around about to leave.
"Fox?" Theresa said softly as her headache pounded throughout her whole head. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping to relieve some of the pain, but with no such luck. Fox too took a deep breath and closed his eyes before turning around to face her. He turned around and smiled as she called him over. "Please, sit down, Fox," she said calmly. Fox figured that whatever Eve had given her had helped. She was calm for the first time in a long time and even she knew it. "Fox, I know things didn't work out between us and I'm sorry. It's not all your fault. If only you knew."
"Knew what?" he asked wondering what she was talking about. Fox had to wonder though if it was just the medication talking.
"Nothing, Fox. It doesn't matter now. But what does matter is we share two children, Fox. Now I don't know what you think of me or how you feel towards me, but I needed to ask a favor of you."
"What can I do?" he asked with little doubt that he could help her.
"If I could get out of this bed I would get on my hands and knees, Fox. Please, don't take Alex and Alexis from me," she cried as she pleaded with him.
"I should have known that's what you wanted. It's always about what you want. I'm sorry, Theresa. I can't help you. I'm going to do anything that I have to in order to keep you from them. I'm sorry" he said coldly as he left abruptly, leaving Theresa to wonder if her worst fear would come true.
center/center
After much convincing, Theresa finally convinced Eve that she was not trying to kill her self, just merely trying to get rid of her headache. She told her that she only took three and that her body must have reacted badly. Eve persisted in keep Theresa overnight at least to try and talk to someone about her problems, but Theresa again convinced her that she would be better off in her home surrounded by her children. "They're the best medicine, Dr. Russell."
Theresa decided to walk home, even though Eve didn't think it was such a great idea. She need to clear her head and just think about what she was going to do. She walked around in the fridget cold, not having an exact destination. Whitney was watching the children and she had told Theresa to take her time coming home, so she did.
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay there's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
Whenever Theresa went, someone always stared at her. They all knew who she was and what had been happening to her. They felt sorry for her, but Theresa felt as though they all looked down on her. She felt so dirty, so ashamed of herself and of the life she had created for her children. She looked up to see the sky aligned with a beautiful display of stars. Theresa laid her eyes on a small star which was out further than the other ones. It reminded her so much of herself. So small, so alone. Closing her eyes she whispered softly, "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish, I wish tonight." Theresa paused as to what she wanted to wish for. There seemed like a million things she could wish for, but only one would help right now. "I wish to turn back time. Turn it back to when my obsession with Ethan first began."
If she could do it all over again she would have kept herself at a distance from any of the Cranes. She would have kept her dreams of being a fashion designer alive. She would have gone to college and eventually moved away from Harmony. But that's her silly dream now and you can't turn back time. She sighed restlessly knowing that her wish would go not granted.
in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there
Theresa made her way to the beach, where it was cold, unfriendly, and deserted. Even though, it seemed like an old friend to her. "So many memories," she sighed miserably. Theresa opened her purse and searched for the bottle of pills. She placed five of them in her the palm of her hand before falling onto the cold, sand. "What am I doing?" she cried out, hoping that God was listening to her suffering. "Are you happy? My life is a mess, I want to die. I only have my children left and if you let him take them from me I'll die." Theresa placed her left hand over her mouth as she stared down at the pink pills in the palm of her hand "No," she said as she shook her head and regained her composure. Theresa stepped closer to the water, letting the waves of the icy water crash at her feet. "No more," she said as she tossed all of the pink pills into the water. "I won't inflict my children or myself with anymore pain."
so tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack it don't make no difference escaping one last time it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
It was past 10:30 at night when Theresa walked down the main street. She felt somewhat calmer, but there was still this air surrounding her that made it impossible to be free from of all her worries. As she passed a book store she noticed his face on the front page of the local newspaper. She could feel the Crane poison running through her veins and very soul. How she despised him! There the papers were, trying to make him out to be the victim of this whole thing. Theresa had to laugh, but her laughter quickly faded as she remembered that he was going to take her babies from her. She need help, but what could she do. She glanced around hoping for an answer to appear just out of nowhere, and much to her surprise it did. She walked into the book store and picked up a copy of the New York Times. "Dylan?" she smiled, raising her brow with a mischievous glimmer in her brown eyes.
in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort here
