Chapter 15

Haley's POV

I had to hold back the tears; I had to stop them from falling. I held back for as long as I can, I waited for him to close the door before…before I broke down. I don't know why but….but a part of me wanted him to beg and plead that I take him back.

God! Something must be really wrong with me. it must be the concussion…. Liar, I told myself. No amount of brain damage or brain wash could stop me from loving Nathan. I was so hurt, but I knew so was he. It was hard letting each other go…He was my first love….well, he's still my first love.

So much has happened and nothing can change it I have to move past every heartache and pain….

"I'm sorry Hales, but Chris isn't answering his phone" Peyton said by the doorway but when she saw me crying she rushed to my side. She motioned for Brooke to come in as well.

"Oh, stop crying Hales."

"I cant help crying Brooke. Nathan just gave me a divorce"

I could see the bewildered look in their faces

"But I thought that's what you wanted"

"It is….but it hurts. It hurts to let him go…." I couldn't finish what I was trying to say because admitting out loud that I still loved Nathan would ruin everything.

"I love Chris, I love Chris so much. But I know…we're too different. Back then music brought us together…Now…"

"Your music was for Nathan, Hales" someone said. I lifted my head to see Lucas.

"It was for Nathan. Was being the operative word Luke."

"Couldn't you start again? At the beginning? From scratch? You still love him Hales don't deny that"

I smiled sadly. Lucas knew me so well, it's scary but great at the same time.

"I do love him still but Chris…I'm not gonna be like Nathan, Luke. I wont break my word to Chris…because I love Chris too"

"But who do you love more Hales? Whose face makes your heart beat fast? Who leaves you breathless? Who makes you laugh and feel giddy? "

Okay, this was freaky! It seems that Lucas remembered every description I had of Nathan when we were teenagers.

"Nathan. I know that, I also know that I love him still but…Chris…you don't understand Luke. None of you does. You don't know how it feels like to be confuse and hurt and angry"

"It's simple Hales." Lucas said

"No it's not! It's complicated and even though I rationalize it every waking moment of my life, I know that someone's gonna get hurt because of me. I'm hurting right now because of me!" I cried so hard, my eyes stung and I saw Lucas coming towards me. Peyton and Brooke hugged me, they were so quite. I felt their tears falling down… and I was sorry that I made them cry but I couldn't voice it.

Lucas finally came to me and the two girls gave way. He hugged me, and I cried. It's been a long time since I really cried. So I gave up all of my emotions….

For a long time, Lucas held me cradled like a little child. Eventually I stopped, and he wiped away my tears.

"Are you okay now?"

"A bit."

"Hey haley, I think you should see this" Peyton said handing me a piece of paper

I recognized that it was Nathan's handwriting, I could feel the tears falling down again as I read what was written on it

You told me, not just once, that I am the last piece
of your puzzle. Then you have to know, my Love,
that you are the last stop in my journey.

The train stops here.

My journey ends with you;
you are my destination.

And yes, I have said that
with certainty, this early.

That's why I alighted the
train with ease, with no reservations, because I knew I was coming home.

I would forever live with the fact that this sanctuary is irreplaceable.

That's why it's so hard to concede that it can be dissolved, so soon.

For you are everything I wanted without even knowing that was what I
desired.

You are my destination.

But perhaps, I am not yours.

As painful as it is to say,

perhaps the time has come for you to get started on a new puzzle... And
maybe it's time I take another trip.

Who knows, my route may some day lead me back to you.

Maybe.