Chapter 16
Lucas's POV
"This is so hard. I don't think I can take this anymore….." I held Haley as she cried over the piece of paper Nathan left. Who knew my brother could be this romantic and emotional? I couldn't help but smile because I saw that Nathan's efforts were now affecting Haley but I still couldn't understand this hold Chris had on her.
"Hales, follow your heart….be with Nathan." I said, I know that I was pushing her but I felt like she needed to be pushed.
"You don't understand Luke. Chris….he was my first friend here in New York."
"So all you feel is gratitude for him right?"
"No it's not like that….he…I love Chris"
This was confusing me now, Haley keeps on insisting that she loves Chris when I can see that she loves Nathan too.
"Hales, you have to choose."
She looked at me then buried her face on her hands. "I already did Lucas, I chose Chris"
This infuriated me, how could Haley choose some guy over my brother!
"Listen Hales, you're my best friend….but Nate…Nate's my brother and he loves you. He loves you so damned much that he allowed me to almost break his bones that night I found out about him and Taylor"
I saw the surprised look on Haley's face but her eyes became clouded. It was as if she was trying to bottle up her feelings.
"What does this Chris have? I mean, he's not here when you woke up! He's not answering Peyton's calls….how can you be so sure he loves you?"
"I know okay…I know…."
"This is a losing battle Hales. You love my brother, and not Chris!"
She still wasn't listening to me. It was as if she drifted to somewhere. I waited for her to speak.
"You wont understand Luke, you never will. What Chris and I have…it's so much more, and yes I am grateful to him…"
"I won't understand what?"
"Chris was there when there was nobody for me. Peyton and Brooke only came here after 3 years. I had no one Lucas, and he was there. He loved me when I was at my lowest point"
"But Hales, marrying him when you don't love him…it's wrong… and no matter how you justify it… it's still wrong"
I saw Haley tense, as if she was deciding on something. She looked at Peyton and I saw her crying again.
"No Haley…you cant do this. You don't have to tell him. You don't have to relive the nightmare hales." Brooke said stuttering.
"She's right Hales. Lucas doesn't have to know….. Hales…it'll be bad for you…Hales…please no" Peyton was crying while Jake held her.
"I have to tell him. It's the only way he'll understand. It's the only way I can justify hurting his brother"
Now I was losing thread of the conversation. It was as if everyone understood what each one was saying.
"Why Hales? What are all of you talking about?"
"When I came here to New York, I only had a bit of money. I had to work most of the time and go to school too." I saw how Haley was struggling to continue, but with much effort on her part she went on "I met Chris while working in a club as a waiter, her was great. He was a great friend to me."
"That's the point Hales. Chris is just a friend to you."
"Let me finish Luke."
I nodded my head in consent.
"One night at the club…I felt dizzy. I haven't been eating well and I lacked sleep. Chris saw me fall down. He brought me to the hospital…. And there…there they told me." Haley's tears fell fast but that didn't stop her. Brooke and Peyton were crying and I couldn't understand this.
"They told you what?" I asked.
"They told me that my baby was dead. I was pregnant when I left Tree Hill….and I didn't know. I didn't know…."
This knocked the breath out of me. I imagined Haley in a hospital bed, with no one but a guy she just met. She was all alone.
"They had to remove my baby inside me because she was dead."
I couldn't take it, I had to stop her. "You don't have to continue Hales. It's all right now. I understand."
"No….No…"she was getting hysterical but she continued "it was my fault Luke. My baby was dead and I didn't know…I didn't know"
I didn't know that Jake called the doctors and that they were already injecting Haley a drug to calm her. In a few minutes she was peacefully sleeping in my arms. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to let her go…..
"It's okay man, she's resting now. Let her sleep for awhile."
I laid Haley's head on the pillow and watched her sleep. I was still crying, and I couldn't breath.
"Why didn't anyone of you tell me?" I asked as I looked at Peyton, Jake and Brooke.
"It was her story to tell, not ours." Peyton said simply. She was still crying.
"What happened to her? after…after…they removed the baby?"
"Chris was there with her all along. He bought her a house and hired a personal nurse. Every day a therapist would counsel her. Brooke and I came up here every weekend. It took years….it took so long for Haley to finally accept that her daughter was dead and that it wasn't her fault."
I understand now. Chris was there when Nathan and I wasn't. I was a useless best friend. I had no right to be in Haley's life just like I knew that Nathan had no right to be in her life too.
We both messed up and we'll pay for it.
