Authors Note: Hi:;grins and waves…;; ahem, yes so this is just another little one-shot, pretty angst, mostly about Sokka, one of my favorite characters, actually scratch that, they're all my favorite . Yeah so mostly about how I think he feels sometimes…I dunno, review and tell me what ya think. Oh and there is a bit of A/K mentioned, so that might satisfy all you fluff hungry fans, ne? Ok On with the story!
Disclaimer; use your imagination to guess the answer… those without this wonderfully useful tool… well, I'm terribly sorry for you.
Dear Sister
Sometimes it's hard, ya know? All my life I spent living in the water tribe, it was peaceful enough, sure, there was the constant threat of firebenders attacking, but I liked life there. So did Katara, she was happy enough most of the time, though I know she always did long to be become a real waterbender.
I wonder how it must feel, to not be able to complete part of yourself, knowing you always somehow kept from the real you, the person you're destined to be. Waterbending is part of Katara, a part she has never fully been because of not being taught. I suppose that for her sake this could be considered a good thing that we are now on this journey, to the other side of the world, with firebenders hot on our tail.
Firebenders, I hate them, I hate them so much. I don't think Katara remembers much about the day our mother died, she was too young. Sure, we're only a year apart, but back then she was only three, I was four, and I remember perfectly. They attacked our village, burning, pillaging, killing. My mother was in our tent; she had given me Katara and hidden us safely. My father was with the other men, so he wasn't there to protect her. My mother died for me and Katara. I can still remember the blood, the thump of my mothers' lifeless body hitting the ground, I still have nightmares.
Our tribe ended up beating the attackers; luckily we had waterbenders among our men. It is also because of the Firebenders that all of our men left, including my father, to go to the aid of the earth nation. I believe that's why I'm so protective of Katara; she's all the family I have left at the moment and I don't want to lose her too.
Even when I am mad at her, I still want to protect her no matter what, even if it costs me my life. Sure I call her freakish, weird, an idiot. But I don't mean it, and I know Katara knows that too. And sometimes it's hard, to watch my younger sister fall in love, watch my sister take the first steps of leaving me.
When Aang first came to our village, I saw Katara for the first time in a long while, actually really smile. She laughed too. It was amazing, I really don't remember the last time she was so happy. When I told her Aang was banished after the flare they sent from the old Fire Navy Ship, she got angry, she nearly left all of us, nearly went with Aang instead. I was scared, I don't like to admit it, but I was. I was afraid to lose Katara, my little sister.
I watch both of them now, on the beach. I watch as the Avatar says something, I am to far away to hear it, but I see Katara laugh. They just sit there, watching the sunset, side by side, every once in a while, they casually glance toward the other, watching the others expression, then looking back at the sky before getting caught.
I don't really matter on this journey, all I really came for was to protect Katara, but now she doesn't need me any more. In few weeks, maybe a few days, she will finally learn to waterbend, she will finally find her missing piece, and after that, well, it might be best for her big brother to disappear for a little while. She needs to grow on her own, she doesn't need the constant shadow that I have inflicted on her, keeping her from doing what she might have done long ago. I realize I am a selfish older brother, always clinging to her; I need her more than she needs me. She has always been the strong, I the weak.
For once, I don't feel hungry, for once I don't over protective, but I smile as I watch Aang being caught staring, and Katara caught glancing at him. Both of them blush and look away again, but I see Aangs hand slide over a little and just brush against Kataras. They remain that way, finger to finger, and continue to watch the sunset.
I wonder if Katara would miss me if I actually did leave. I know it would be hard for me, but it would be best for both of us. I could learn to let go of her; simply rely on myself, not always have to rely on hers when things get bad. That's what I do, every time we fight firebenders, she and Aang always look out for me.
"Hey! Sokka!" I glance up at the call and see Aang and Katara wave at me. I fake a smile and wave back. "Come join us!" Katara calls to me, and I see Aang quickly withdraw his hand, he knows I would normally make fun of them if I saw them, well almost holding hands.
I pull myself up from the tree I am resting against and walk down toward them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Katara smile at me as I plop down next to them.
"Hey Sokka, Isn't the sunset nice?" Aang chirps and smiles at me, he's always so happy. Why can't I be that way?
"Yep," I reply, "lovely." I rest my chin in my hands and stare at the colors and they brush the sky, never remaining the same for more than a few minutes, then deepening into the color of night. I know Katara is looking at me worriedly, she knows something's wrong. I watch from the corner of my eye as Aang senses it too.
"Well, umm, I'm gonna go and find Momo now 'k?" He says as he stands and brushes off the sand. Aang hates an awkward situation that's why he's leaving. "Umm, see ya guys later." He scurries off after glancing one last time at Katara.
"So…" She's at a lose of what to say, rather surprising for my little sister. "What's wrong? You are never this quiet! Something's bothering you. " Nope, I stand corrected.
"Nothing." There, now she knows something is wrong, nothing always means everything. Sighing Katara rises to her knees and kneels in front of me. Her hands grip my shoulders and she stares me straight in the eye. Katara can be rather frightening when she's in the 'confess or die' kinda mood.
"Sokka, I'm your sister, I think I know you well enough to know when you are upset." She gives me a small shake. "Tell me!"
All I do is turn away from her; I can't always look her in the eye, and now is one of those times. I hear her sigh, and when she next speaks her tone is softer.
"Sokka, you're my big brother. You always make me feel better when I am sad, or angry. But I can never do the same. Please, just tell me what's wrong, I want to help." She looks at me, her eyes are so sincere, she really cares about me. I smile and shake my head.
"I don't know Katara, maybe someday when you're older I'll let you in on the secrets of emotion. There's this one called sadness, and it happens when, well, someone's sad. Its hard to difficult to explain. You'll understand when you're older." It's so much fun to tease her. I stand up and she looks up at me surprised, and then anger sparks in her eyes.
"Sokka, don't tease me! I was trying to help you!" She stands and glares at me, she's also in very scary when she's in the 'you just changed the subject and you will pay' mood. I start to walk back to our camp, but before I get to far away from her I turn around and yell,
"Hey! Katara! There's also an emotion called love! It's very common when girls are with little boys with arrows tattooed on their heads. I don't know, but maybe you already know about that one!" I watch as a blush crosses her cheeks, and then, oh boy, there's that fire of anger snapping through her eyes. I better start running now.
"Sokka! You idiot! I hate you, you know that?" Her braid flaps in the wind and she begins to stalk toward me, the ocean water gathering behind her in a big wave. Yep, definitely time to run.
And sometimes it's hard ya know? To feel just like the tagalong, the unwanted one. But I think I'll manage, maybe I'll try, because right now my sister needs me, and my family is worth more then my selfish feelings.
End.
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