Chapter 20
Haley's POV
Am I that horrible that almost everyone that's dear to me is trying to leave me? I stared helplessly at Chris, he looked so resigned to the fact that I am still in love with Nathan. I didn't want to hurt him; I would never ever intentionally hurt him.
"Chris, you don't have to do that. I chose you, Nathan already gave me a divorce and all we have to do is file it. Then we can get married"
"Haley, I know you. You don't want to be married to me; you can't even imagine spending the rest of your life with me"
He was right and I hated that. Second to Lucas, he might be the only person capable of interpreting what I was really trying to say.
"What are you afraid of Haley?"
I pretended I didn't know what he was talking about so I jokingly answered him "I'm afraid of the dark"
"Haley James, the comedienne. Are you still afraid that you're not good enough for him?"
I've always felt that I didn't deserve Nathan. Everyone said it, Dan Scott repeated it over and over again. I was able to move past that but I never got over the fact that Nathan slept with my sister.
"I'm too good for him"
"That you are, but then the heart always knows what it wants."
"Does it?"
"Of course" he said it with confidence I almost believed him
"Then why do I love Nathan? Why does my heart beat for him when my mind knows there's a possibility that he might destroy me again?"
He touched my face and I reveled in its warmth. Chris made me feel good about myself, he made me feel loved.
"You once told me Hales that nothing is constant in this world except change. Nathan's changed right? I mean…I saw the poem and it just goes to show that jocks do know how to read"
I pinched him. "You do have to remember that my best friend IS a jock"
"O, I forgot. Your husband too right?"
"Ex-husband" I said with a sad smile.
"You can change that Hales. All you have to do is tear this paper into pieces."
He held out the divorce papers to me. I didn't know if he was joking or well….what the heck! I love Nathan…there's no denying that.
But I don't know where to go from here. I turned away from him. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do…
"What should I do about Nathan?"
"I think you know the answer to that Hales."
I nodded. My brain was working overtime, coming up with plans….
"Okay, I know what to do. I'm going to fly to L.A. beg that he takes me back and then….okay…okay…okay….i don't know…."
"Don't worry Hales, you'll know what to do when you get there."
