There may be a short break in updates following this chapter for two reasons. First, I am going to a friend's house this weekend and may have a hard time getting to a computer to upload. Second, and more tragic, I have recently discovered that my computer's hard disk is on its last legs. A new drive is soon to be purchased and installed, but until that happens, updates will probably be sporadic at best. Thanks for your patience. :)
With that, Old Deuteronomy took the pause to introduce Skimbleshanks, the railway cat. This, I understood, was proof enough that the ball was inconceivably important: Skimbleshanks never left his post on the train for anything less than a life-changing event.
But the honor of his visit was swiftly lost as a sudden crash and a scream of fright announced the arrival of none other than my supposed biological father, Macavity. As his hideous form appeared, I shrank back away from him, painful memories suddenly flooding my mind as that voice, that presence ignited fear and hatred that I had never even realized were there. I fell to the ground, covering my ears with my paws, desperately trying to block out the horrid laughter that seemed to mock my fear.
Unable to stand it any longer, I stumbled to the edge of the amphitheater and took off running into the junkyard. I ran without direction, much as I had the first time I saw Victoria in the amphitheater. The similarity was not lost on me, and as I ran, the tears borne of old sorrows began to flow freely once again. With those tears obstructing my vision, I tripped over a curtain rod sticking out of a pile of trash and tumbled down a mountain of refuse, ending up lying supine in front of my trunk.
Ecstatic to have found a suitable hiding place, I immediately crawled into it and finally just let everything go. Loud sobs wracked my chest, the cold night air burning my throat as tears of fear, anger, sorrow, despair, and confusion followed the same paths down my cheeks that had seen so many of their ilk in my short life. For a while, I just sat in my trunk and cried, and when I found I had no tears left to shed, I slowly lapsed into silence, tacitly cursing the world.
As I sat there, brooding, my ears were once again pricked by the sound of someone traipsing through my living space. However, this time, I did not leap out of my trunk to face them. At this point, I could not have cared one iota less who was in my nook; I just wanted the entire world to burn in hell.
But even I could not retain such an attitude as a face I had not seen up close in years suddenly appeared at the other end of the trunk.
"Oy! 'Owzit, Quax?"
Surprise meandered over my face. "Mungojerrie?"
"Th' one an' only." Grinning his trademark smirk, he hopped over the edge of the trunk and fell to a sitting position across from me. "'Ow are ye?"
For a moment, I was about to tell him, but then I remembered just how I actually was and lapsed into a dismal silence, shaking my head at him.
Mungo caught the meaning, but pressed the issue anyway. "A bit scared, eh? Boy, can I understand that! That Macavity, 'e's a mean 'un, an' no mistake." He grinned and leaned forward, poking my knee to prompt a response. I raised my eyes far enough to shoot him a sullen look, then stared at my feet again.
Finally, Mungojerrie, the infamous male half of the terrible twosome, did something I had never seen him do, except maybe to Rumpleteazer; he stretched across the way and enveloped my shoulders in a brotherly hug. At first, I was too shocked to do anything but stare dumbly at him. He smiled, a rare and genuine smile. "I know me 'n' Rumple aren' always th' easiest cats ter find an' talk to, but ye'll always be part of our li'l family. Yer our Quaxo, an' don' you think fer a second that we've fergotten ye, alright"
And with that short, simple speech, Mungojerrie showed me a flash of the kitten he'd once been, and that memory, added to all the other ones competing for my emotions, was enough to start the tears all over again, except this time, I had someone to cry to.
Burying my face into Mungo's proffered shoulder, I sobbed the whole story to him, starting with Alonzo and Pouncival's oil trick, then telling him about the pressures of being magical and being forced to hide it, then how I'd met Victoria and had immediately fallen in love with her, then how I'd foolishly turned a small misunderstanding into a near-fatal experience, how I now had to live with the blood of nine Pollicles on my paws, how I'd thought Victoria and I had been on the way to a happy and perfect life together, only to realize that all that was lost in an instant at the paws of a cat who meant nothing to her, and finally finishing with how Macavity had, in an instant, ruined my one chance for admiration, appreciation, and respect. Finally getting everything off my chest and onto someone else's, I sat back and wiped my eyes, sniffing occasionally.
Mungo was silent for a moment, then suddenly smiled. "Well, you 'ave been busy since we last talked, 'aven't ye"
I chuckled halfheartedly, rubbing one eye and nodding. "I just feel...I don't know...like I just don't belong here, with the Jellicles." I sighed heavily and muttered, "I don't belong anywhere."
Mungo sighed and shook his head. "Now ye know that's not true. Yer a Jellicle, just like the rest of us. An' don't go tryin' to tell me that I'm wrong, because I know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Lissen, when we were all brought out here to the junkyard when we were just little kittens, we became Jellicles. We weren't old enough to decide for ourselves whether we wanted to be or not, so Munkustrap decided for us, and so it was. And that's that, Quax. Ye can't change who ye are, and ye can' erase yer past. You got it?" To make sure he got his point across, he reached over and chucked me under the chin, so I was looking into his eyes. "You belong with us, and you can never forget that, Quaxo. Nev'r."
It was a little odd, hearing such philosophical and profound words coming from a joker like Mungojerrie, but mysteriously enough, it all made sense, and worked wonders to allay my fears and soothe my aching spirit. But there was one area that it didn't touch. "But Victoria…what about her? What do you think…I mean…is it over? Should I confront her? I mean…I did hook up with Electra…but she went to Plato first!" Tears returned to my eyes as the memory roared back, complete with images and cruel sound effects added by my wounded imagination.
Mungo thought for a moment, but finally a look of understanding appeared on his face and he smiled. "Ah, Plato, eh? Ok, I can see what 'appened 'ere. A couple 'r so weeks ago, Plato foun' 'is way 'ere to th' Junkyard. Sort of like th' way Vicky foun' 'er way to it when she did. Now, neither one 'f 'em is a Jellicle yet, 'r they weren't at the beginning of the Ball. See, if ye fin' yer way to the Junkyard, or someone brings you 'ere, you can't be a Jellicle until you go through a sort of ceremony, an' that ceremony takes place once a year, at the Ball. See, they weren't just hookin' up ter be romantic 'r anything. They were makin' themselves Jellicles!" It made sense, and my heart was uplifted by realization that I didn't have to do anything to my relationship with Vicky; it was just fine! Better, if possible, simply because now we were both officially Jellicles.
I thought for a moment. "So…I guess it's the same energy, that same…spirit that you can feel when I first said the invitation that chooses who you…pair up with, right?" Mungo nodded, and I followed the logical train of thought. "So that's why I wanted to go to Vicky first, but ended up with Electra because Vicky was already with Plato, right?"
Mungo grinned. "Roight. An' that's why me 'n' Rumple ended up together. It's just the spirit of th' night, ye see?"
I did, and I was very pleased to. "That's wonderful! That means that Vicky and I are okay! We can still be mates!" And suddenly, I realized that this was probably the same intangible event that Vicky and I had been waiting for. The reason that we had not yet mated, no matter how intense the desire, no matter how perfect the opportunity. But now…
I must have had a stupid expression on my face, because Mungojerrie grimaced and shook my shoulder. "Quax, you ok?"
I snapped out of my reverie and nodded. "Oh, yeah. I'm good. In fact, I'm better than good. In fact…I feel like finding Vicky right now, and telling her I love her." I turned around and started off. Then, I paused, turned back around, and smiled at Mungo. "Mungojerrie…thanks."
He smiled and waved me away before disappearing into the gloom of the night. I lingered for a moment, then smiled to myself and took off for the amphitheater to rejoin the party.
