"Alright, Vicky, I give up!" I dropped my paws to my sides with an exasperated sigh. Once again, I was searching for my mate, and, as usual, succeeding very poorly. Even so, I smiled. Ever since the ball, the entire universe seemed to have done a swift one-eighty: Munkustrap had been chosen to be promoted from historian to protector, almost replacing Old Deuteronomy, whose duties were now limited to offering wise counsel and mediating the Jellicle Ball every year. Skimbleshanks himself had been selected to take on the duties of historian, since all that was required of the position was to be present at every ball and keep track of all proceedings therein. Rum Tum Tugger had found a mate, one that he liked enough to remain completely faithful to, and few cats were surprised to find out that it was Bombalurina. Alonzo and Pouncival had teased me only a few more times, the first time reprimanded and scolded by Jellylorum, who had a tongue like a razor when she was mad, the second time by all the younger queens, who had finally taken the plunge into maturity over the same night that Victoria and Plato had become Jellicles, and the last by Munkustrap himself, who swore that he would remove both their stripes if they ever came near me again. It was a huge and sweet victory for me, and it only added to the happiness that had defined my life since the ball.
Along the same trend of bliss, things between Victoria and I had been so much smoother that I had a hard time even remembering what it felt like to distrust her. We were together all the time; we took long, contemplative walks all over the junkyard and all over the city; we talked for hours on end, often spending entire nights sitting under the stars discussing anything that came to mind. We slept together, and yes, I admit, we mated quite frequently. Altogether, life was on the way towards sheer perfection, and very quickly so.
I sat down on the ruins of a space heater and thought for a moment about where Victoria might have gotten to. Just recently, she had taken to disappearing any time I turned my attention away for half a second, and forcing me to search for her. Not necessarily that I minded the search, or the capture, either, since usually, I found her hiding in an extremely secluded section of the junkyard, and things progressed from there. Today, however, I had looked in all her favorite hiding spots and hadn't located her yet. Suddenly, I wondered whether she would have the sheer audacity to hide in my trunk. It was possible; she hadn't ever done it before, but then, there was a first time for everything.
Excited, I leapt off my perch and started jogging in the direction of my nook. When I got there, however, I skidded to a sudden halt at the sight of Victoria, in my trunk, conversing with Old Deuteronomy, standing beside it. I was a little anxious at this unexpected visit, since Deuteronomy never casually visited anyone except Munkustrap, and occasionally Tugger, now. Nonetheless, I tried to look confident and nonchalant as I sauntered into the clearing and over to Victoria, planting a small kiss on her cheek. "Hey, Vick. Found you." She giggled and I turned to Deuteronomy, trying to look happy to see him. "Hello, father, how are you today?"
"Oh, as good as can be expected, when you get to be my age." He grinned and offered his arms for a hug, which I chuckled and returned. When we separated, he held me at arm's length and looked me over. "My goodness, you have certainly grown up a great deal, and just since the ball, too!" He laughed and clapped me on the back. "Victoria here was just telling me about how the two of you have decided to become mates. That's great! You two are a perfect match for each other."
I chuckled softly. "Thanks. You know, I know I made the right decision, but I'm not so sure Vicky did. My decision was so easy, it was pretty much made for me, but she could've had any cat she wanted, and for some reason, she chose this hot-headed, stubborn little idiot." I grinned and shrugged. "And I know for a fact there are better cats out there than me, like, say…Plato?" I grinned at her again.
She smirked and threw the remains of a cross-stitched pillow at me. "Oh, hah. You think you're funny, don't you? Well, let me assure you that no matter how much cooler, more pliable, or smarter those other cats are, they'll never be anything close to you, Quax, or should I say, my Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?" She giggled and draped an arm around my shoulders, purring quietly. I rested my head on hers and purred with her for a moment before opening my eyes again and looking up at Deuteronomy.
"As much as I enjoy your visits, father, I can't help feeling like you had a purpose coming here."
Old Deuteronomy nodded. "Yes, Quaxo, I did. I had two purposes, and one has been fulfilled already," he nodded and smiled a little at Victoria, who smiled back. "As for the other, I need to speak to you alone for a few minutes."
A little apprehensive, I allowed him to put an arm around my shoulders and gently guide me to my trunk as Victoria took the hint and excused herself to go do whatever she did when I wasn't around. I pushed myself up to sit on the edge of the trunk while Deuteronomy regained his dignified posture on a nearby tire.
Before I had a chance to ask him what he wanted to tell me, he started with a small sigh. "As you probably know, Quaxo, I have magical powers like you. They aren't as powerful, never really were, but even though they have tapered a bit in my old age, I have still managed to keep them relatively keen. Now, recently, I have been getting the tingling sense that perhaps you are not as content as you portray yourself to be, and before you interrupt and try and deny it," he looked at me with a knowing glance, and I was forced to lower my paw and bite off the denial that was on my lips, "I don't mean as far as your life and your relationship with Tugger, Munkustrap, or Victoria. I mean that subconsciously, something is tugging at your mind, and after much deliberation, I've decided that it's probably best that I assuage that irritation by feeding your hungry mind the information it desires."
Here he paused, and I knew better than to try and rush him, since that was more likely to delay him further than it was to incite him to respond any more quickly. Besides, he was right. Something was nudging the back of my mind, had been since the ball, and even though I had managed to ignore it until now, Deuteronomy's mention of it brought the mental itch back. This time, though, it didn't bother me nearly as much. After all, Deuteronomy had just said he knew what it was, and that he was going to get rid of it, even though I wasn't even sure what it was about, myself.
After a half a minute or so, he finally took a deep breath and continued. "One of my personal powers is the faint ability to see into the future. It's not spectacular by any means, but it does come in handy sometimes. A few months ago, I started to get the tingling sensation that usually precedes a premonition or vision that is going to change the course of history. I have gotten this sensation very few times, once before Munkustrap was born, once before Tugger was born, and once before you came to live with us. Yes, Quaxo, I knew to some small degree that you were going to be a Jellicle someday, and I must say that of those three sensations, that was the one I was happiest to receive. However, a few months ago, I got a terrible feeling that we as a tribe were on the verge of a devastating catastrophe. I admit that I panicked a bit then; I had never had such an incredible sense of impending doom. Desperately, I rounded up all the highly magical cats I could contact and explained the situation to them, hoping that one of them could see or sense further than I and could give me some idea of what we could do to prevent this cataclysm."
"Almost every other cat could see as far as I could, but none could see further, at least not yet. They all suggested I wait a little longer: maybe it would become clearer as time went on. But I couldn't wait. Not with the ruin of that which I loved so dearly looming on the horizon! So, I broadened my search, delving deep into each tribe's population, hunting down every single cat with even a hint of magic in their blood, and each time, I came up empty-pawed, again, until finally, I ran across two cats whose future sight was far more developed than my own. Their names, as you might well have already guessed, were Coricopat and Tantomile."
"Now Coricopat and Tantomile had had their powers for many years, but had never told anyone about them, for fear that they might fall under the same type of persecution that I wanted to protect you from. Naturally, you see, such things don't always happen, but in their case, Coricopat and Tantomile already had enough troubles, being twins and rather queer as they are, so they were a little apprehensive about revealing their secret to anyone, even me. But when they saw how distressed I was, they finally decided that it was worth the risk, and they told me that they could see the disaster I spoke of, and they could see beyond it, as well. I was a little surprised, but I invited them back to my little alcove and asked them to explain what they saw."
"They told me that they had had visions of a dark cloud looming over the junkyard, with all the cats in the amphitheater, dancing, celebrating, heedless of the dark shadow above them. Then, an old, bent over cat had entered the theater, and all the other cats had scattered in disgust from it, for it wore a horribly ugly mask. This masked cat had circled the theater three times, and each time, the cloud grew darker, and finally, when the cat left the theater, the cloud descended upon the amphitheater and engulfed the Jellicles."
"I was stunned to hear their account, because it was so detailed and explanatory, and I asked them if they knew who the masked cat was, but unfortunately, they did not. So I thanked them, told them to contact me if they had any more such visions, and sent them back to the junkyard. After they left, I sat and thought about their vision for a long time, trying to understand who the masked cat could be. The first cat who came to mind was Gus, for being an actor, he frequently wears masks, often extremely ugly ones, but it did not seem to fit with the other cats' reaction. Every cat loved Gus, and even in a mask, they would never flee from him. Then I tried to apply the cat's age, and came up with one other cat who would be of such an age as the masked cat, and that cat was Grizabella."
Here he paused, and I squirmed a little on my perch; out of respect, I was not about to interrupt him or try to urge him forward in his story, but I had been so captivated by his words that his momentary pause only served to pull me back into the junkyard where I realized with impatience that this story, while interesting, was doing nothing to ease my agitation. Nonetheless, I knew that Old Deuteronomy had a reason for everything he said and did, and was therefore content to sit and wait, hoping he would get to the point soon.
After a few deep breaths, he sighed and continued. "In order for you to really understand the next part of my story, you must know of my past and of Grizabella's past with me. You see, when I was younger than I am now, and before Munkustrap or Rum Tum Tugger were even born, I had a mate named Cassie. She was a beautiful-"
"Grey and white queen…" I finished for him. He looked at me, surprised. I smiled a bit and shrugged. "I remember her. She was there when Mungo, Rumple and I were all saved from the Pollicles and brought here. She was…she was the reason we survived…" A lump rose in my throat and I looked at the ground, fighting back tears.
Deuteronomy was silent for a moment, and then continued quietly. "Well, Quaxo, she was my mate, and Munkustrap's biological mother. She was also Tugger's adopted mother. See, at about the same time that Munkustrap was conceived, I had been having an affair with Grizabella. At the time, she was beautiful and exotic and famous, and I thought that that was what I wanted in a female. It turned out that she was also devious, selfish, and narcissistic. In any event, however, at the same time Munkustrap was born, Grizabella came to me and revealed that she too was pregnant, and shortly thereafter gave birth to a male kitten, whom she left with me, saying he was my responsibility, since she was far too famous and busy to be bothered with such things. She then left to seek her fortune, and left me with a male kitten and no way to explain where he had come from except the truth."
"I went to Cassie with him, and though she was hurt and angry with me, she agreed to take him under her wing as her adopted kitten. I suggested we name him Rum Tum Tugger, since that was what Grizabella had wanted him to be named, and she grudgingly agreed. She never really forgave me for that, but we did reconcile before she died, so that we were not separated on incensed terms."
I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. "That's all wonderful and interesting, father, but what could it possibly have to do with anything I want to know? I don't know exactly what it is that is bothering me, but I do know that so far, nothing you have said has really alleviated it. If anything, you've made it worse." I hadn't intended to sound so irate, but Deuteronomy had a habit of beating around the bush for a ridiculous length of time before getting to whatever point he was trying to make.
If he was offended, though, he made no indication of it. "Alright, Quaxo, I understand. No need to get riled. Anyway, a few nights after Coricopat and Tantomile's visit, I had a vivid and moving dream, more of a revelation than anything. I was sitting in the theater, watching the Jellicle Ball commence, and as Coricopat and Tantomile had mentioned, the dark cloud was still there, but it was no ordinary cloud. It was not made out of water, but of feelings. I could sense those feelings, anger, hate, resentment, roiling and hovering, threatening to settle on the amphitheater. Worried though I was, I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, and instead, I began looking around the theater for someone who could. Suddenly, the masked cat stepped into the theater, and just as in Coricopat and Tantomile's dream, he circled the theater three times, wearing the most hideous mask I had ever seen, and each time bringing the cloud lower over the Ball. The third time, as he began to leave, I was terrified to realize that the cloud was coming down to engulf us all, and I desperately searched for some way to prevent it, but was devastated to realize that there was nothing I could do. Suddenly, another cat, a pure white female, whom I had never seen before, appeared and went to the cat, touching his paw. The old cat stopped and looked at her, and then removed his mask and revealed himself to be none other than Grizabella. As she removed the mask, the dark cloud slowly lifted away and eventually dissipated. Then the dream faded from view, and Cassie faded into my sight. She said, 'One day soon, the final test of the Jellicles' hearts will be conducted. On the night that the moon illuminates the annual terpsichorean festival, the masked cat will return, and beg forgiveness of those who once loved her. If she does not receive it, she will leave, heartbroken, and none will enter the Heaviside Layer. Seek out and protect the one who can still find it in their heart to see past the mask of assumption and reach out to her with forgiveness and love.' And then Cassie disappeared, too."
Now it all started to come together. "So…Cassie told you to find and protect the white female, then, I guess?"
He nodded. "Yes, because only one who had never heard of Grizabella, had not had time to cultivate fear or hatred for her, had no fear of repercussions for their actions could still find it in their heart to reach out to her with love and forgiveness."
"Victoria…"
He nodded again. "Yes, Victoria. Only Victoria could possibly fit the mold of one who had nothing to lose and nothing to gain by touching Grizabella and reaffirming our love for her."
"But in the theater, during the ball, when Grizabella was singing…I wanted to go touch her, I really did. I wanted to show her that we still loved her, but-"
"But you couldn't. And neither could anyone else in that theater. We were all too afraid of what might happen if we did. We were too afraid of what the other cats might think, of what they would do to us. Would they hate us? Fear us? Would they scorn us and banish us from the junkyard forever? Would we lose our precious status as Jellicle cats? Probably not, but the possibility alone was enough to convince us that it would cost us more than it would reward us to even attempt to bring her back."
"But Vicky…"
"Victoria was not a Jellicle, did not even know if she truly wanted to be one yet. Therefore, she had no reason to fear being shunned, since it wouldn't have changed her position in life very much. In truth, at the beginning of the Ball, she had undergone a transformation that already affirmed her status as a Jellicle, whether she knew it or not, and that was what allowed her simple selfless act of love to atone for all of the rest of our cruelty."
I was speechless. I knew Victoria was something special, but this went beyond just special. This made Victoria almost a savior of sorts, just as Cassie had been for me so many years ago, and had been for Victoria so recently, through me. "Wait, father, when I went to go find Victoria after she ran away from the junkyard, she was being chased by a bunch of Pollicles, and right before I went in to save her I saw Cassie standing over her. She said that Vicky was more important than I knew, and that only I could save her. Did she mean that…?"
Deuteronomy nodded. "Yes, she meant that if you didn't save her, the Jellicles would not have ever been atoned for their heartlessness to Grizabella, and would have been destroyed."
"When you say destroyed…"
"By destroyed, I mean we would have fallen into constant and pointless bickering that would eventually escalate into angry arguments and confrontations that would have ultimately end up in bitter hatred and discord that would have dissolved the Jellicle tribe and eventually led to each one of our deaths, one by one."
I shivered at the thought. "So Victoria really did save the Jellicles…"
He nodded. "And so did you, indirectly. By befriending her when she had no one else to turn to, you gave her a reason to stay. By following her after she ran away, you proved that someone cared whether or not she was there. And by standing over her and staring death in the eyes, you proved that someone loved her so much that they were willing to risk and even lose their very life for her. Yes, when Cassie said you must save her, she did mean physically, at least indirectly. But more importantly, she meant spiritually. Victoria had been on the verge of a breakdown for weeks before she met you for the first time. Your last act of sheer selflessness proved to her that life was worth living, if only because you wanted her to live it. You, Quaxo, are the real savior of the Jellicles."
That was almost too much to swallow at once. The savior of the Jellicles? I, whom they had scorned and jeered from the moment I had come to the junkyard? I, who had lied to and deceived them for so long? I, who existed through malice and subsisted by charity, was suddenly the Jellicles' redeemer? I almost laughed; it was absolutely implausible. Could I still be the same cat who had awoken not so long ago drenched in oil and wearing a veneer of feathers, for the cruel amusement of two of my bitterest enemies?
Suddenly, my whole outlook on life changed. No, it wasn't implausible at all. Why would it be? I may not have been well-liked beforehand, but then, I remembered in all the lore of cat heroes and legends, few saviors ever were. Maybe now I would end up as one of those legends, along with Victoria. Or not, considering that probably no one really knew what we'd done. Once again, I had been in the background, doing what I did behind the scenes, with little or no recognition for it. And that was fine by me. Savior or not, I still wanted to remain vague and aloof.
Deuteronomy smiled a bit as I pondered. "Now, I'm going to leave you to think about that for a bit. Believe it or not, an old cat like me does still have a few responsibilities to attend to from time to time. This is one of those times. I trust you will remember to keep this information secret from anyone who doesn't need to know it, yes?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded fervently, and he smiled, stood, gave me another hug, and then slowly shuffled off again.
I, on the other hand, went searching for Victoria for what would now be the third time today. Again, I didn't mind the hunt so much, but it was a little tiring to have to keep jogging all around the junkyard to find her; it was not a small junkyard. Nonetheless, however, I had some idea of where she might be, this time, since it was getting a little late, and we always met in the amphitheater before going off to find dinner together. Ergo, the amphitheater was first on my list of places to be checked.
As I came up on the theater, though, I heard Munkustrap's voice ringing out over the area. He sounded like he was announcing something to the assembly. As his voice died away, there was a sudden uproar of other cats' voices; it sounded like the entire junkyard was gathered for something. Cursing the fact that I had missed whatever meeting was being held, I jogged the rest of the way and tried to slink in silently.
I was not successful in the least. As I tiptoed into the amphitheater, everyone suddenly fell silent, and I saw and felt every single gleaming yellow, black, green, blue, and grey eye staring at me. I had never blushed so quickly and furiously than at that very moment. Everyone had a surprised look on their face, as though I had burst in on a secret meeting that I wasn't welcome to attend. I was on the verge of explaining myself when suddenly, the entire company burst into applause. I blinked. "What the…" Had the entire tribe gone bats? Why were they applauding my interruption?
Suddenly, I heard Victoria's voice behind me. "Go on, Quaxo, they're waiting for you." She gently pushed me into the middle of the area as Munkustrap leaped down from his perch high above the area and put his paws on my shoulders.
"I just told them all about your recent escapades, Quaxo. I told them about how you saved Victoria from those Pollicles, and how doing so indirectly led to Grizabella finally going to the Heaviside Layer like she was supposed to. Needless to say, they're all quite impressed with you."
Impressed was not the word. No sooner had he finished talking than every cat in the area came down and started shaking my paw, hugging me tightly, and patting me on the back. Etcetera and Electra both came up shyly and just looked at me for a moment. I smiled at them and they burst into giggles as they both hugged me at once. Tugger, instead of his customary pat on the back and occasional one-armed hug, reached out and truly embraced me, like the bigger brother I'd always considered him as. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, though it wasn't safe for them to actually come forward and touch me, since they'd only recently been accused of pilfering a number of objects from the other cats and had yet to be captured for it, were both standing on one of the walls and waving furiously at me, grinning widely. I grinned and nodded to them, not wanting to let the other cats know where they were; they were in for it big when they were caught this time. Even Pouncival and Alonzo came grudgingly forward and smiled a bit as they punched me in the shoulder. The whole time, Victoria just clung to me, grinning widely with tears of happiness shining in her eyes just as I knew that they were probably shining in mine, and as I looked around at all the crowd around me, I realized that all my life, I'd been searching for one thing: a family who loved and cared for me, no matter what or who I was. Finally, I had it. Finally, I realized that I'd been a part of this family since I'd come to the junkyard so long ago, even though I was just now understanding what that meant. I smiled. Vague and aloof be damned; I was a Jellicle.
Fini
