Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount. As much as I'd like to say Seven and B'Elanna are mine, 'twould be a falsehood. (sigh) This story contains femslash (yup, women love women here, get used to it) so if that offends you, then read something else. Although if you've read Ghosts, the story before this one, then you're probably not offended by it if you're still reading. And if you haven't read Ghosts—go read it!
Author Notes: Sequel to Ghosts.
Code: T7
Rating: R
Genre: Romance/Drama
Original post date: Feb, 2001
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Family, Chapter 2
Four months later...
Seven, B'Elanna, Aryn, Samantha, Naomi and Mezoti walked through Naomi's old favorite program—Flotter. Six-month old Kalila Isadora Kim, who was developmentally three years old, ran ahead of them, squealing with delight. Naomi's development had begun slowing down and at six years old, she appeared eleven. Mezoti was almost ten and she and Naomi were still best friends, and entering a phase of requesting sleepovers in each other's quarters.
Kalila froze where she stood and suddenly threw her arms out and began spinning in a circle. Her pitch-black hair flew out around her and her green eyes sparkled brilliantly. The small horn growing from the center of her forehead was translucent cerulean, the same color as her mother's, and it seemed to glow in the simulated sunlight. She trotted back to her mother on pale blue, cloven hoofs with black fetlocks that were a direct contrast to her milky white complexion.
She hugged her mother's legs, then threw herself at B'Elanna, her arms reaching, demanding to be lifted up. B'Elanna picked up the heavy-footed child, ignoring how she always got kicked and carried her on her hip. Kalila was attached to four people: Her mother and father, B'Elanna and Tuvok. No one knew why she had taken a liking to him, but she was constantly running up to him whenever she saw him and rubbing her horn against his hand. He always looked long-suffering when she came into view, but never complained.
To her, these were the most important people on the ship: Mama, Daddy, 'Lalana' and Tuvok. She always scrunched her face up carefully to pronounce his name, never making a mistake. Aryn said it was probably because Tuvok had delivered her in the turbolift when Voyager was under attack and they were trapped in the lift together on her way to Sickbay.
B'Elanna, Sam, Aryn and Seven spent a lot of time together. Seven believed that it was because children liked to play together, so naturally, the parents would come to know each other and eventually even become friends. B'Elanna, though not a parent, spent enough time with Seven and Mezoti to possibly be considered a second mother to the child. Mezoti had no qualms about this and was growing healthy and happy.
Seven had explained the nature of her relationship with B'Elanna to Mezoti and Mezoti was not really affected by the information. Seven found that slightly worrisome, wondering if the girl understood the seriousness of their relationship, but eventually she lost her concern, when she realized that Mezoti already treated B'Elanna as a second parent most of the time.
"Lalana, luk!" Seven turned her head to watch as Kalila directed B'Elanna's attention to the big blue character walking towards their group.
"Why, hello, Naomi! Hello, Mezoti! And who is this?" Flotter asked.
"This is Kalila," Naomi answered. Flotter reacted melodramatically, much to the delight of young Kalila, who clapped her hands and shrieked happily. She bounced on B'Elanna, inadvertently kicking the chief engineer's legs with her heavy feet. B'Elanna set her down and she ran to Flotter, examining him carefully. Naomi smiled at Kalila's interaction with Flotter and knew that the rapidly growing child would love the program as much as she once had.
Mezoti and Naomi exchanged looks between them, silently telegraphing the fact that they had outgrown this program. But both girls felt good about sharing with the younger child what had once been their favorite pastime. Naomi had calculated mentally and realized that in fifteen or sixteen months, Kalila would be at the same developmental age as she and Mezoti. She was developing their friendship early, so that they would have a new friend in their group next year. And the year after that, Kalila would actually be older than they and perhaps that could be interesting as well.
Mezoti had agreed with Naomi, so both of them had suggested introducing Flotter to Kalila. Naturally, there was the added benefit of making their parents proud, but the desire for more friends is what truly motivated them. So they shared their secret smile and showed their future coconspirator around the enchanted forest.
"Why didn't you ever tell me you felt that way?" B'Elanna demanded. Seven had admitted to her earlier worries that B'Elanna was ashamed of her and now that same half-Klingon was furious. "I could never be ashamed of you! I'd kill anyone who made even the slightest slur against your name!" Seven flinched inwardly at the volume of B'Elanna's voice. A year of experience told her that B'Elanna wasn't really angry, but it was still difficult for her to convince herself of the fact.
It was their one-year anniversary and both wore the same dresses that they had worn on this day last year. They were in B'Elanna's quarters enjoying the same meal, but this was not the same conversation that they had shared.
"Don't you know how much I love you?" B'Elanna yelled. Seven's eyes widened.
"You love me?" B'Elanna stopped. It had never occurred to her that Seven might not know how she felt. Her hearts pounded in her chest and tears burned behind her eyes. B'Elanna went to her knees in front of Seven and took her hands.
"Don't you know that? Haven't I ever said so?" Her voice had gentled, no trace of the former fury remaining.
"I suppose I knew, but no. You have never declared your feelings in that way. It has made me... doubt." Seven sat stiffly, a fine tremor running through her body in the fear that B'Elanna might take back her words, and from the joy that she had spoken them.
"How could we go all this time and never say 'I love you?' "
"I do not know. I do love you, Lanna." B'Elanna's eyes closed and she lowered her head into Seven's lap.
"Oh, god. We never have said it." B'Elanna grabbed Seven's hands tightly and looked up into her deep blue eyes. "I love you, Seven. I love you like I've never loved anybody in my life. You are my light, my hopes and dreams. The very breath that I breathe to live is through your lips." Seven pulled B'Elanna into her lap, holding her close.
"I love you as well," Seven said, expressing a torrent of emotions in five words. Their mouths met, warm and giving, an exchange of silk, melting together. Seven's hand roamed to the back of B'Elanna's neck, running her hands through the newly straightened hair. Her own curled around B'Elanna's loving fingers and slipped down in front of her shoulders.
B'Elanna's hand brushed up Seven's body, sliding over Seven's soft breasts and teasing the reactive peak under the cloth. Seven moaned quietly and sank into B'Elanna's caress, finding her own way to B'Elanna's chest. Her hand rested on B'Elanna's ribs and her thumb stroked the underside of B'Elanna's breast. B'Elanna twitched and her breath came in soft pants.
After holding B'Elanna in suspense for a few moments, Seven let her hand glide over the top of the other woman's breast, feeling her nipple straining at the material as though it would meet Seven's gentle hand just by will alone. B'Elanna let her hand roam to Seven's knee and slid it slowly, gently upward. Seven froze as waves passed through her body and the muscle in her thigh twitched, crying out for more.
Seven watched B'Elanna's hand disappear under her skirt and her eyes closed as the tender flesh of her inner thigh was caressed. Warm, careful fingers slid up and brushed the outside of Seven's panties and Seven jerked away, standing and apologizing. Making excuses to leave, she half ran for the door. B'Elanna beat her there.
"What is it Seven? If you're not ready, all you have to do is say so. But please, talk to me. Don't just run away and leave me wondering what I did wrong." Seven felt frantic, her heart pounding in her chest, her body throbbing with a need that frightened her. An overwhelming fear took hold of her and she forced herself to appear calm and composed.
"I regret that I cannot do this, B'Ela—Lieutenant." Seven reverted to her title, trying to push her away in a panic. "Ever. Therefore, I am terminating our relationship." With that, Seven flew out of B'Elanna's quarters, running to the turbolift.
B'Elanna watched Seven flee and stood there, stunned. She closed her mouth after a moment and walked back to the couch in a daze. She looked around at what had started out as a perfect evening and ended in a disaster. Tears welled up behind her eyes and she grabbed the back of the couch. A moment later, it was upended. Her coffee table flew against the doors and anything she could find, she attacked in a tearful rage.
She didn't understand and her mind reeled as the room spun around her. She fell in the mess she had created, unable to do anything but feel. Her head began to pound and she hit the floor as hard as she could, until it felt as if she was going to break her wrists, then she stopped. She grabbed a nearby padd and just as she was about to fling it, words poured into her mind that she decided to write down.
"Love is an eternal wellspring of hope...it is also the pool in which I drown." She looked at what she had written, then threw it against the wall with such force that something inside the supposedly indestructible device snapped and the data stored within was lost. She stood, then fell over herself, forcing herself up again and ran into her bedroom, where she flung herself down on the bed.
Seven barely staggered into Cargo Bay Two before she collapsed. As the doors slid shut, she issued a command for them to lock.
How could B'Elanna know or understand? She hadn't been a drone for eighteen years. The brief time that she had been assimilated hadn't given her anything approaching an idea of what it was like in the Collective, especially since she had been, for the most part, shielded from the hive mind.
Everything that might remind the drones of why individuality was more appealing was taken from them. Anything pleasurable they might associate with sex had been ripped down to the simple association of 'sex is for procreation.' Even love was broken down to become a weakness, a malfunction, a disease.
Seven knew what it was to be aroused, she felt it every time B'Elanna touched her. She just didn't know how to explain that the Collective removed all mating desire from its drones, that even though she still had that desire... Seven's body shook with barely controlled sobs. Tears burned down her face and she curled up into a ball on the floor.
What if she couldn't feel anything because of the borg 'enhancements' to her body? What if B'Elanna hated her for not being able to experience the same pleasure as she? What if she couldn't pleasure B'Elanna? Seven's mind swarmed with questions and self-doubt as she cried on the cold deck of the cargo bay
The Cargo Bay—just another reminder that she was different. That she was a Borg that only needed the most utilitarian accommodations made for her. Seven could no longer hold in the sobs and her voice broke in the silence of the empty room, her hands trying unsuccessfully to cover her face, shaking violently while in B'Elanna Torres' quarters, heart-broken wails issued, contained by unfeeling walls and bulkheads.
To be continued...
