Rory couldn't wait for Friday night dinner to be over. It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with her grandparents. She did, of course. But Rory was still reeling from the realization that she was in love with Logan. She didn't know what to think or feel at all. This strings thing changed everything. Her system was in shock and she was dreading any mention of him at dinner. So far they had made it to dessert without any questions about a certain blonde. Thank God.
The dinner also wasn't made any easier by the fact that Lorelai and Emily were still very much at odds over the whole Christopher debacle at the vow renewal ceremony. Lorelai just started speaking to Emily again, but she only did so in one-word sentences. Sadly, Rory knew it would be some time before anything got back to normal, whatever normal was in the Gilmore world anyway.
"So, I hear congratulations are in order," Richard said, smiling over at Rory.
"Yes, of course," Emily chimed in. "We read your article in the paper. It was absolutely wonderful. Imagine, The Times picking up your article from the Yale Daily News. We're so proud of you, Rory."
Rory blushed. "Thanks, Grandma, Grandpa. I was pretty surprised about it, myself."
"Isn't it wonderful, Lorelai?" Emily looked over at her daughter. Beneath her steel gaze, Emily wished that somehow she could make things right between them again. They were farther apart now than they had ever been.
Lorelai matched her mother's gaze with a stony one of her own. She was definitely not going to make things easy on Emily. In her mind, the woman deserved to be thrown off a cliff with weights tied to her ankles. "Terrific," she said with false gaiety.
"Oh, come now, Lorelai, you can't keep up this one word response forever. You were always a chatterbox. You love talking people's ears off with the longest stretch of words imaginable. This must be killing you." As always, Emily knew exactly what buttons to push on her daughter.
"Poison."
Rory knew things were heading downhill fast. She had to get her mom out of there before grenades were launched and missiles were fired. "Well, Grandma, Grandpa, thanks for dinner. It was lovely." She pushed back her chair and stood up before her grandparents could say anything. Lorelai followed suit.
"Yes, it was lovely," Richard echoed, trying to maintain the peace, as well. "We'll see you again next week."
Emily walked them to the foyer where the Gilmores' latest maid brought them their coats. "Well, girls, have a good night then. Lorelai, did I mention that your hair looks especially...wavy tonight. It looks nice."
"Butcher."
Rory grabbed her mom's hand and hurriedly pulled her outside. "Bye, Grandma," she called over her shoulder.
Once they were safely in the jeep, Lorelai unleashed the torrent that had been building up inside her. "My god, can you believe that woman! She's worse than the Wicked Witches of the East and West, Cinderella's stepmother, the Evil Queen in Snow White and the fat obnoxious octopus lady combined! She's the love child of Annie Wilkes and Norman Bates. I can't believe I'm her spawn. Her evil genes are swimming inside me! Do genes swim?"
Rory glanced at her mother sympathetically. "Please don't run us off the road. And, no, genes don't swim."
Lorelai let out a long cleansing breath. "Okay, no more evil mama talk. I've had enough of her anyway. What's this about strings? You know, had I known you had a strings obsession, I would've taken you to see the biggest ball of twine in America when you were a kid. Maybe if I were a great mother and not just an ordinary good one, I would have surmised this strings fixation of yours and saved you from this sudden trauma over some thread."
"Mom, you're the rock star of all moms. And I will definitely give you full disclosure. But, first, I, we, need coffee. Luke's coffee. Buckets of it."
"Aww, hon, good to know you've got my genes swimming in you, too. I hope the Lizzie Borden side of our family doesn't somehow manifest in you someday."
"So you want the full-on relationship with enough string to work a million yo-yos, huh, sweetie?" Lorelai asked as she and Rory reveled in their fourth cup of that wondrous black liquid known to mere mortals as coffee. She was in awe that the little blue-eyed baby she had given birth to so many years ago was now a beautiful, smart young woman in her own right. A very confused and altogether quite anal young woman. But a strong one nonetheless. Lorelai loved her little circus freak. She was going to do her best to help Rory navigate her relationship with Logan. But she had a feeling from what she'd witnessed already that this one in particular was going to go down in the annals of Gilmore history as a Great Love. Lorelai smiled absently at the thought. Falling in love with a Great Love was the best feeling ever. No matter what happened, even if it dismantled your heart and tortured your soul, its passion and spirit lived on forever.
"Why do you look like you're about to swoon? Please don't tell me you're fantasizing about Luke." Rory swallowed the last of her coffee before putting her head down on the table. "I can't have feelings for Logan. What am I going to do? We had an understanding. And now I'm just stomping all over that understanding with dirty, muddy boots."
"Hey, chin up, I passed those dirty, muddy boots on to you. You should stomp with pride. Now, tell me why-"
"Rory! There you are!" Kirk interrupted, dropping a stack of newspapers on their table. "This is just the first load. I bought every New York Times I could find within a 50 mile radius. I figure you should sign right where your name is printed. We can form an assembly line. I'll pull the Editorial section out and turn it to-"
"Kirk!" Lorelai and Rory yelled in unison. Lorelai's face melted into a fake smile. "Miss Gilmore will be happy to sign newspapers at a later date. However, she can't tonight. We can't risk injuring her hand on a Friday night, can we?"
Kirk looked at her suspiciously. "What, are you her publicist?"
Letting out a loud sigh, Rory grabbed a few papers. "Kirk, I'll sign five. If you manage to sell them, I'll sign the rest tomorrow. Is that okay?"
"Of course," Kirk gloated. He bent down and scrupulously watched Rory as she signed the first paper. "Is that your signature? You really must practice. Maybe if you made a bigger loop with the 'y' it'd look more, shall we say, journalistic?"
"Oh, just let me sign already!" Rory grunted. "There!" She hastily scrawled her signature on all five papers and pushed them towards Kirk.
"Thank you, Rory. Wow, you've really got that sullen celebrity attitude down." Kirk grabbed his papers and made his exit, all the while mumbling, "Maybe I should double my asking price for the newspapers."
"Oy!"
Lorelai laughed. "Imagine when you win a Pulitzer." She took in the forlorn look on her daughter's face. "So, getting back to the trauma at hand, why is it so bad that you have a heart that's filled with all these wonderful, gushy, squishy, feelings for Limo Boy?"
"Eww, Mom, can we please refrain from the use of 'gushy' or 'squishy'? It makes me think of fish eggs."
"Point taken."
Luke came by with a pot of freshly brewed coffee. "Okay, last call for the night. After this, the bar is closed and I'm calling you two a cab."
"Oh, thank you, Luke. Thank you, thank you!" Lorelai exclaimed and clapped her hands excitedly.
"Alright, let's try this again," Lorelai said as Luke walked away from their table. "It's great to be in love. It also sucks to be in love. But, mostly, it's great. So why the Bambi voice? Do I need to get a pen from Luke so that you can draw flow charts and diagrams?"
"I wish it were that easy." If only it were a matter of making a list and crossing off each item as you moved along. Have witty banter with Logan. Check. Go out on a date with Logan. Check. Kiss Logan. Check. Have great, stringless experience with Logan. Check. Move on. Check. Why couldn't it have been that simple? "Mom, I really thought I wouldn't develop any feelings for him. In fact, I didn't even want to. For once, I just wanted to live in the moment and have a fling with a hot guy and not look back. That night at the reception, I threw my lists away and just wanted to have fun and see where that would take me."
"Oh, honey," Lorelai murmured sympathetically. "There's nothing wrong with trying new experiences. But there's also nothing wrong when those experiences change into the unexpected. I'm on the border of Cheesyland here and I'm about to cross it, but you can't control what you feel. Your mind can't bully your heart into doing what it wants. It's actually the other way around."
Rory smiled at her mother. "You've most definitely crossed the border into Cheesyland."
"I am a citizen of Cheesyland. Remind me to sew up a flag when we get home. Something in the vein of brie or munster, perhaps."
"No, provolone, definitely." Rory absently played with her coffee cup. She idly wondered what Logan and the LDB were up to.
Lorelai caught sight of the look of horror that came over Rory's face. "Okay, provolone, it is. What's wrong? You look like I just took a power saw to your favorite book."
"This sucks. I was just thinking about what the Life and Death Brigade is doing right now. They're having some sort of event this weekend. And there are these two girls in the LDB, Shauna and Erica, who are always all over Logan. They follow him around wherever he goes and they talk to him in these silly girl voices. 'Oh, Logan, I need more champagne. Come here Logan, let me give you a massage. Your strong, manly muscles must be so tired,'" Rory mocked. "Ugh, they're so transparent. And they're Giselle Bundchen and Laetitia Casta lookalikes. They probably have their spindly, supermodel arms and legs all over him by now."
"Shauna and Erica? That'd make a great Jeopardy category. I'll take 'Girls with Boy Names that End in 'A' ' for 1000 please, Alex." When that failed to illicit a normal Rory-response, Lorelai moved her chair closer to her daughter and slung her arm around her. "Hey, kid, if these girls have to work so hard at getting Logan's attention, it means that he's not giving them any. I'm sure he could care less about their supermodel spider legs."
Rory shot her mom a look of sheer disbelief. "He's a guy. Trust me, he notices."
"I know. I was just trying to make you feel better."
"Well, gee, thanks, it worked wonderfully."
"So when are you going to tell him how you feel?"
"Are you crazy?" Her mom had officially left Cheesyland and was now trying to enroll her in The University of How to Get Your Heart Smashed. "I can't tell him. Logan doesn't want a relationship. He's made that very clear. No, I'm not going to tell him anything."
Lorelai couldn't believe what Rory was saying. "Rory, darling, stubborn child, how can you not say anything? So, what, are you just going to pretend that you feel nothing? Just go on like normal, all the while knowing that you really want more?"
"No, of course not."
"Finally, you're making some sense."
"I'm going to stop seeing him," Rory proclaimed resolutely.
"Um, what? Now who's crazy?"
Rory suddenly took on an air of confidence after coming to a decision. "No, this makes perfect sense. I hate thinking that he may be seeing other girls and me at the same time. I hate that there could be someone else he's kissing the way he kisses me. I can't stand it," she spit out. "But, at the same time, I don't want to throw around any ultimatums. I don't want to change him. Not only would he not be Logan, my Logan, but he'd resent me for it. So, you see, the only real option is to extricate myself from the situation. No blood. No mess. No harm, no foul."
"Yeah, except for the matter of your poor heart turning into stone and pummeling to the ground at a thousand miles an hour," Lorelai said sadly. "Honey, you need to tell Logan how you feel."
"No, I think my way is better." She had made up her mind and that was that.
Lorelai sat up in her chair and let out a long, slow breath. "So you really think that little of Logan, huh?"
Rory glanced at Lorelai quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you can't really think much of Logan if you can't even trust him with your feelings."
"Mom, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?" Lorelai pushed. If only she could get Rory to be emotionally honest for once. She knew that a whole new world would open itself up to her daughter. "Because to me, it seems like Logan isn't really all that worth it if you don't even want to give him the opportunity to reciprocate your feelings."
"But-"
"Rory, you are my daughter and I love you, but you're being a total scaredy cat. Now think long and hard. Do you believe that Logan is worth it?"
An image of Logan with his artfully messy hair and ever ready smile came to mind. Rory thought of how alive she felt when Logan had grabbed her hand and they had jumped off the platform together. Her skin tingled with the remembrance of his touch. She loved how Logan could irritate her one second, and have her laughing the next. Rory had wanted to murder him after he, Colin and Finn pulled that ridiculous prank. Now, all she wanted was to be slouched against him on the sofa watching The Office for the fourth time. Rory was overcome with a sudden pang of longing.
"Yes, Logan is worth it," Rory admitted quietly. She thought back to their fateful dance. Logan had been man enough to be honest with her about who he was and what he felt. Rory now knew that he deserved the same courtesy.
"That's my girl." Lorelai smiled, but a part of her felt like crying. Her child was growing up and it was wonderful to behold. "I knew it. Limo Boy must really mean something to you if you're talking to me about him."
"What? Mom, I tell you everything."
"No, you don't," Lorelai replied lightheartedly. "When it comes to guys, you never tell me anything. Usually, I find out after some all important event has taken place and you sulk and stomp around and don't tell me the details, even when I beg and plead. It's hard being a mother."
"Uh oh, you're starting to sound like Grandma."
"Hush your mouth! Take that back!"
"Nope." Rory gazed at her mom and her mouth broke out into a wide, happy smile. "Thanks, Mom."
"Aww, you're making me feel gushy and squishy. I love you, kid."
"Fish eggs!"
"Oh, yes, sorry." Lorelai stood up and grabbed Rory by the hand. "C'mon, let's get outta here. Luke's giving us the evil eye. We should let him close up and get some rest. He has a big night ahead of him tomorrow." She winked at Luke.
"Eww, Mom! Not in front of the innocent daughter." Rory covered her eyes.
"Like you're innocent. Oh wait, I don't want to know." Lorelai covered her ears.
Together, they walked through the square and headed home. "Mom, what if Logan doesn't want a relationship with me?"
"Well, then he's nothing more than a pompous ass who deserves every inane spider-legged, squeaky-voiced, boy-named, boring one-note chick who throws herself his way. And, if that's not punishment, which I suspect may not be to a guy, then I'll hunt him down and laugh at him because he lost his chance to be with the smartest, most beautiful, most talented chart-making circus freak on the East Coast, maybe even the world."
"See? You are the greatest mom."
"I try." Lorelai linked her arm through Rory's, then stopped for a second. "Oh, the irony. My daughter has gone and fallen in love with some rich boy from that vain, vapid world."
"Mom, you know Logan's not like that. And he's not a boy."
"I know, sweetie. And that makes all the difference in the world."
