Title: Damn, This Closet Is Small

Author: Joy

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: If I was Ann M. Martin, do you think I'd be writing fanfiction? I'd be late for a book signing! I solemnly swear that I make no profit from this (and probably am up to no good, as well.

Pairing: B/J, but no action this time, sorry!

Summary: Jeff has one of those awkward bonding moments with his mom.

Notes: No beta again. This fits in somewhere before "Costumed", but I can't give you an exact chronology yet.


Jeff was helping cut tofu up for salad when his mother made an attempt at conversation. This struck Jeff immediately as a bad sign; parental communication was only used as a last resort to extract information. He put the knife to the side, wary.

"So... how's school?"

"Mom. This is the last week of school. You might have wanted to ask that last month."

"Oh."

Jeff felt slightly bad for brushing his mom off so rudely, but her absent-mindedness really got to him sometimes. Dawn had tried to give him coping advice when she left for college. He tried to remember it now.

"Jeff, Mom does care. It's just that... she's so passionate about things that she can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I think. Well, don't be so hard on her. She really does care."

And Dawn was gone. Not even her tinny voice, still sunny and bright despite the miles and ocean between them, could make him really believe her words. Especially when Mom was asking him the same question she had asked him in grade school every single afternoon. Now that he was in high school, she should have switched to questions like, "Do you need the car?" or even "So, how's Byron?".

Except that was a subject Jeff yearned not to talk about, and even while he thought about it, the back of his neck began to flush and he felt a horrible urge to talk about it, to tell this mysterious and wonderful secret out in the open.

"So... How's Byron?"

If Jeff had been holding the knife, he would most certainly have chopped something off.

"Well... um..."

There were a million answers to this question, but Jeff wasn't sure if his mother really wanted to know that Byron was a fantastic kisser, or that he had the best collection of porn Jeff had ever seen, or that if you licked just right, his nipples would peak in the most fascinating way.

"Fascinating?"

Jeff's spine would have curled up, if that were possible. Had he really just confessed that aloud?

"No, Mom, I mean... it was just..." Jeff wrapped his hands around the salad bowl and slid it back and forth across the counter. "It was truth or dare at a party, but nothing else."

Sharon smiled with bemusement at her son's accidental confession. She wasn't exactly sure what Jeff was confessing, but it was plain that it had been gnawing at him. She poured a glass of water and placed it in front of him. Dawn had reminded her that if she just listened without giving any advice, that Jeff would open up. It just took concentration.

"That doesn't make it wrong, though right?" Jeff slumped over the table, his shoulders drooping miserably. "I mean... if I wanted to, it wouldn't be wrong. It was a dare, yeah."

Jeff put his head on his arms, his throat suddenly clogged by tears. His mom came around the table, putting her hands on his shoulders and rubbing gently. Somehow, the tender motion made him want to cry more.

"I don't want to disappoint you. But I don't want..." He stopped, unable to continue. Sharon took this as her cue to say something supportive.

"Jeff, do you really think what you've done is wrong?"

His hair flew violently in all directions as he shook his head. She smoothed it out and kneeled down next to him, making sure her next words were crystalline clear.

"Have you ever been forbidden to do something in this house that you knew wasn't wrong?"

Jeff trembled, afraid of the freedom his mother was giving him, and reluctant to indulge in it. But she seemed perfectly aware of his mistakes and furthermore, was permissive of something he had confessed guilt to. This was a definite improvement in parental communication.

"Mom... do you think it's okay if I ask Byron to prom then? I don't know if he'll say yes, but if he does, I want him to be welcome here." He knew he was rambling now.

"Umm..." At this crucial moment, Sharon realized what her son had been trying to tell her. Not that it particularly bothered her, but she felt a twinge of remorse that Jeff had felt the need to disguise the issue. She really should have followed Dawn's advice a little more often.

She didn't answer him immediately; she was still digesting the newly-found addition to her son's personality. Seeing the glimmer of hopeful tears, she smiled.

"Of course you can. And yes, you can have the car."