Part 3 – Fears and Happiness

Faith stared at his back. His broad, muscular back... she shook her head. Had she really just heard what she thought she had? She stayed unmoving, unable to lift a finger as, in slow motion, Bosco turned around.

Bosco turned and froze as he saw her. His jaw dropped, but his mouth and tongue wouldn't form themselves into any words. His whole body felt like it had been weighed down. In contrast his mind raced, fear gripped his stomach. Did she realize what he had just said? His mind played out her possible reactions. Anger? Disgust? Hilarity? He didn't know what would be worse. She just stared at him. Why was she dragging it out like this? Why couldn't she just put him out of his misery? Finally he managed to clear his throat and then realized he had no idea what to say. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

She looked into his face and saw the horror written there. She stared back at him, still stunned. Did that really mean...? Could it possibly be...? Why was he looking so scared? Did he think she would be angry? She knew she had to comfort him. Taking a step forward, jerkily, she reached for his hand and held it in both of hers. She took a deep breath.

He looked down at her hands holding his, then into her face. So, no anger; just pity. He wasn't sure he could bear this. He let her hold his hand for a heartbeat longer and then pulled away. Hurrying away from her he broke into a run, tears streaming down his face.

Faith stood alone on the sidewalk as he ran from her, confused and hurt. He hadn't wanted her to hear; he wasn't pleased that she had. What did that mean? Why was he so scared of her reaction? Why did he run when she took his hand? Had she misunderstood? Tears streamed down her face as she stood there. People brushed past her, buffeting her around. She lost all track of time, being only aware of the tide of despair washing over her. Wave upon wave of pain broke over her. Her heart was being torn apart. The bedrock that her life was based on was crumbling under her feet. She was losing Bosco...losing him. She couldn't understand him, he wouldn't let her in. A great yawning chasm of despair opened before her. She was teetering on the brink of the abyss. Emily's concerned face drifted hazily into view through the fog of tears.

"Mom?" Emily touched her on the shoulder gently. Her mother's face was tearstained and her eyes were red and puffy. "What's wrong Mom? Let's go home, okay?" She guided her mother gently, and she followed meekly.

Bosco ran and ran, feeling the pain but not caring. He ran until every part of him screamed in protest and his muscles refused to move any further, depositing him on the sidewalk, shaking and weak. Every labored breath tore at his lungs. His body burned from tip to toe and his throat felt raw, but nothing compared to the anguish in his heart. He tried to shut his mind down, stop thinking, stop feeling, but it whirred away regardless. He needed Faith more now than he ever had before, but now he couldn't bear her to be near him, couldn't bear to see the pity in her eyes now she knew what he had realized. Emily was wrong; without Faith he was useless. Slowly his heart rate dropped and the agony in his muscles became a dull ache. He stretched out and sat up. His mind went over and over the days events. If only Emily hadn't turned up on his doorstep, asking so many questions, none of this would have happened. He would still have Faith. Why had Emily asked that last question? His brain played that moment back over and over again.

"You really care about her."

"One more thing;"

"Why is it a different woman every week?"

What was Emily trying to get at? Did she know the answer to the question? What would that mean? He shook his head. There were no answers, only a tidal wave of more questions. He slowly got to his feet and began shakily to get to his feet. He hoped Melanie was gone by the time he got back; he didn't think he could cope with her questions right now. All he knew was that he had to explain himself to Faith, had to make sure she knew how much she meant to him.

Faith sat on her couch, staring into space.

"Mom? Do you want something to eat?" Emily hovered around, trying to ask what had happened. Faith shook her head wordlessly. The phone rang suddenly, startling Emily, but Faith gave no sign that she had noticed. "Mom, are you going to get that?" asked Emily. Faith looked at her briefly and then returned to staring into space. Emily sighed and let the answer phone pick it up.

"Hi, you're through to Faith and Emily. If you want to leave a message, wait for the tone!" Her mother's voice was cheery and bright, out of place in the cloud of gloom which had settled on the apartment. There was a silence and then the clearing of a throat.

"Faith? I need to talk to you Faith. I..." Bosco's voice broke down. He paused and tried again. "Give me a call Faith, please?" The uncertainty rang in his voice.

Faith stared at the answer phone and then suddenly leapt up, grabbing the phone. "Bos?" There was a silence again. Emily silently slipped out of the room.

"Faith?" He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Faith, I just realized... I realized... I love you Faith. I think I always have." Faith's breath came in ragged sobs. "Please don't cry Faith. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't know you were there. I didn't mean to hurt you Faith. I'm sorry I ran Faith, I was just too scared of what you would say."

Faith smiled through her tears. "Idiot, Bosco," she gasped.

Bosco heard the smile in her voice and paused. Did this mean...? "You're not angry Faith?"

"Angry? Of course not."

"Disgusted? Horrified? You're not laughing at me?"

"No Bosco." There was another silence.

"Pitying?" he whispered.

"No Bosco. I'm..."

"What?"

"...overjoyed." There was a stunned silence.

"Overjoyed?" he parroted. Not just flattered, but overjoyed? Did that mean...? "You mean...?"

"I love you Bos."

"Oh. Good." Faith's tears became laughter. She giggled like a schoolgirl.

"I love you, Bos. Have you any idea how long I've waited to say that?"

Emily smiled as she listened from the next room. Not even they could manage to screw this up now.