Hikari: Um... so who should I be strangulin'?

Yuki: ...I still say Hiei because you are then "dun dun dun DUN" AUTHORESS!

Hikari: ...I say Kayko. Let's consult Midoshi.

Yuki: ...

Hikari: Midoshi, if Hiei or Kayko touched my Final Fantasy games and I was strangulating them, who would it be?

Midoshi: ...Yusuke?

Hikari: No, man, Hiei or Kayko.

Midoshi: ...Hiei.

Hikari: All of you are against my Kayko-angst-whatever. Oh well. I might still use Kayko. You neeeevvvver knooooow.

Yusuke: ....She owns not a thing but her crew. Her sanity's caretakers recently passed on and is now in the care of some folks in Norwegiaslovakia.

------------------------------------

"YOU EVIL!!! TOUCHING MY PRIZED GAMES!!!" Hikari screeched as she strangulated Hiei (hey, majority wins).

Hikari began foaming at the mouth. "NO ONE TOUCHES THE PRECIOUS...ES! NASTY, FILTHY LITTLE HOBBIT... thing."

"YOU DARE TOUCH MY HIEI?!??!" Yuki screeched.

"Umm... yeah. You can torture him when I'm done, but you'll have to wait your turn, I'm afraid."

Yuki glared her most glariest, most deathiest, most... ok I'm done, death glare. She sorta leaped into the air

and landed on Hikari's head, which she immediately began beating. "DON'T TOUCH MY HIEI!"

"BUT HE TOUCHED MY PRECIOUS...ESES...!"

"Your... preciouseses?"

"Yeah!" Hikari points to the Final Fantasy games, where the box to VII had been opened and emptied of its contents.

Yuki got all defensive on Hikari. "Well, yeah, but maybe he was really bored!"

"He said he was going to get sweet snow."

"...So? That could mean: 'I'm going to play your video games' in another language!"

"Yeah? Which one? Stupidese?"

"...Let Hiei at least explain himself!" Yuki begged, still beating Hikari's head.

"Fine. Now stop beating my head before I... do something. All drastic-like. Mmmyeah."

Hiei began his explanation. "I was going to get some sweet snow when I noticed the PS2 was on. I was going to turn it off when you came in."

"A likely story! Ok, you're free to go."

"...Ok." Hiei ...zoomed... off... again.

"Now we must find the culprit: WHO TOUCHED MY GAMES AND LEFT HE PS2 ON?! I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO PAY THE BILLS HERE!"

"...No you don't, you just get out a rifle and scream at the Bill Collectors, electricians, and Repo Men to leave."

"...You're true."

"Indeed I am." Yuki started to set off after 'her' Hiei. Hikari grabbed the back of her shirt (it took me three tries to spell Hiakri without typos).

"Not so fast! You're going to help me."

It was then that the doorbell rang. Hikari was quite annoyed, considering someone had commited the horrible, punishable crime

of touching her precious...es...eses. She walked up to the door, still dragging Yuki (who was quite easy to drag over the entryway

tile, considering she had been woodskating in her socks for the fifteenth time that week), and opened the door.

"Hello! I'm here selling make-up to random strangers!" said the totally random stranger that we had no clue who it was

in a very high-pitched voice.

"Um, hi. Are you my stalker? Because if you are, I'll be happy to lend you a punch in the face, or get out my rifle or something..."

The... person laughed squeakily. "Why, no! Of course not! Can I recommend-"

"No, you cannnot. You wanna know why?! One: You didn't say 'Hikari, may I,' and Two: I just don't like you, you creep

kid. Now get off the premises before I through this murderous ice demon at you."

The it growled. In a deeper (and seemingly normal for it voice), it growled, "That's it, you're coming with me!"

Hikari rolled her eyes and slammed the door. "Stalkers these days... honestly, Yuki..."

She continued dragging Yuki when the backdoorbell rang. Yuki began humming along with it, as it was none other than the Ranma

1/2 theme song, 'Zettai!'.

Hikari threw the door open. "ALRIGHT, WHAT DO YOU PSYCHOS WANT FROM ME?! I'VE HAD QUITE ENOUGH OF THESE MAKE-UP SELLING,

BAD COSTUME WEARING, STUPID STALKERS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO STALK PROPERLY!"

"I-I j-j-just came to continue my game of Final Fantasy..."

Hikari's eyes narrowed. "So it was you all along! I knew it!"

She promptly threw Yuki at Kayko, who stupidly stood there, as usual.

Hikari walked outside and picked up Yuki and threw her at Kayko again. And again. And again.And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

Eventually Hikari got tired and in mid-throw curled up on a yard couch and took a nap, even through Kayko and Yuki's sobs.

Hiei and Yusuke apparently have very good hearing and/or a sense of their beloved crying. The ran to the seen of

the throw, which threw them into a classic over-protective boyfriend fit.

There were many mangled cries of "Who did this to you?!" and "Why?!??!?" and "How come you didn't call me?!!?!"

Which woke Hikari up, of course.

Kayko pointed at Hikari. "She... she threw stuff at me!!!"

Yuki also pointed. "She threw me at stuff!!!"

Hiei and Yusuke walked over to Hikari. "Hikari! You've got some splaining to do!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hikari: OO meep...

Hiei: ::glare glare glare glare glare::

Yuki: You get what you deserve.

Vana: R&R So we can see what cruel fate awaits Hikari, our soon-to-be-late authoress.