Hi! Err… Sorry for not updating in so long. I've been replaying Final Fantasy VIII over spring break. Such a great game… Anyway, I guess this is the last chapter. Sorry the story isn't longer. Disclaim!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. They all belong to Square… Squaresoft… Enix… SquareEnix… whatever.


Chapter 8: Homecoming

Maybe he really isn't coming back. Maybe he's dead, thought Dojebon. It is decided then. He will meet him in heaven.

"Dojebon! What the hell are you doing!" shouted Weimar.

"Shut up! I've nothing to lose!" Dojebon shouted back.

"Don't jump! I'm sorry I tried to kill you! I promise it will never happen again! …As long as you buy materials for me!" shouted Mullenkedheim.

"Go for it, Dojebon! Your heart is broken! It aches for the loss of your one true love!" shouted Laudo.

"They're just friends," said Kohel.

"Shut up, it's a good line. There is nothing for thee in this realm! Depart from this cruel, dark world, oh Dojebon! Why must thou suffer any longer? Why must thou see thy beloved die? Throw off the shackles of tragedy and meet thy comrade in Valhalla! Take thine own life, oh noble Dojebon! End thy despair!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, ENCOURAGING HIM LIKE THAT! YOU GET DOWN HERE, SOLDIER, RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'LL REBUILD THIS WHOLE CASTLE YOURSELF!" shouted Steiner.

"This is like watching a soap opera," commented Breireicht.

"What's a soap opera?" asked Blutzen.

"It's like opera, except everything happens in a bathtub," replied Breireicht.

"Wow! Really? I should see that sometime."

"Stop goofing off and get him down from there! He's delusional!" said Beatrix, "You four, go stop him!"

"Yes ma'am!" replied some Alexandrian soldiers.

"Hey, guys! What's going on?" asked Haagen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! It's a ghost!" screamed Weimar as he jumped into the arms of an unsuspecting Laudo.

"Guys, I'm alive! I just got back through Gargan Roo." The assembled knights looked at each other and breathed a collective sigh of relief. "Dojebon's gone nuts! He's trying to jump off the tower because he thinks you're dead!" said Kohel.

"Oh, this is so romantic! It's the perfect tragedy! The man doesn't return in time to stop his friend from committing suicide, and, in the end, is so grief-stricken by the tragedy that he takes his own life. I shall call it… Haagen and Dojebon."

"Don't jump, Dojebon! Haagen's alive! He's right here with us!" shouted Breireicht.

"Do not deter me with your slanderous lies!" Dojebon shouted back.

"Hey! He stole that line from my play!" said Laudo. At this time, the soldiers had reached the window where Dojebon was standing, and were restraining him. Apparently, all the Knights of Pluto are innately capable of Trance, as he projected a transparent wall around himself and pushed them away. "This is it! Fare thee well, oh cruel world! Ne'er shall I see thy treacherous face again!"

"He's doing it again! Someone stop him from plagiarizing my work!" said Laudo. Dojebon jumped.

"Dojebon, NO!" shouted a horror-stricken Haagen. Dojebon and time both seemed to slow to a halt. Then, as gravity inevitably took hold, Dojebon began to fall fifty feet towards the ground. The Knights of Pluto all turned an identical deadly pale, as they watched their beloved, though sometimes annoying, comrade plunge toward certain death. There was a loud clank as Dojebon landed, right on top of Haagen. "You bastard! You broke my fall, dammit! Why'd you break my fall! …HAAGEN?"

"Yo!" said Haagen.

"I…I thought you were dead! What…How…Why…"

"I came back! I was right next to Evil Forest when I woke up. Then a bunch of stuff happened and Tantalus ended up helping me get back here. They went to town to see some girl named Ruby. But that doesn't make sense, though, 'cause her hair's blue, so maybe she should be called Sap…" said Haagen, but stopped, when he saw the look Dojebon was giving him. "Err… What? Was it something I said?"

"I thought you were dead!" sobbed Dojebon as he grabbed Haagen in a bear hug.

"Hey! Why are you crying? I'm back, aren't I?"

"He just needs to unload. Just stay like this for a while," said Breireicht.

"But this is really uncomfortable! And I need a bath. And I'm in an awkward position. And his knee's in my…" Haagen stopped again, as Breireicht glared at him, seemingly for the first time in his life. It was a disturbing change from his usually friendly demeanor. "Right, you just stay there and comfort him until he's comforted. He really missed you. He put us through hell just to find you."

"We'll give you two some time alone," said Blutzen, as the Pluto Knights began to leave.

"Wha- Hey! You can't just leave me here!"

"Well, we don't want to intrude on any 'intimate activities' that you two lovebirds might engage in," replied Kohel.

"They look so sweet together," said Beatrix. Steiner put his face in his hands. "Why do I even bother with these incompetent fools…" he muttered to himself.

"Because every country needs something to be embarrassed about," replied Beatrix pertly. Steiner shot her a death-glare.

"If we'd still been enemies, I'd kill you," he said. Beatrix smiled to herself. Everything suddenly seemed a wholelot better.

Back near the tower, Dojebon was still hugging Haagen. "I missed you so much! I promise I'll always treat you like… like something really important!" said Dojebon. Yes, it was decided. He had committed to loving his friends, and he will hold to that promise. That night, Dojebon sneaked into Haagen's room and barely contained a snigger. Awww! Sleeping like a baby, he thought. This was perfect! Haagen was sleeping on his stomach with his face in the pillow. His right hand was hanging out from the bed. Quietly, Dojebon set the glass of warm water on the ground and placed his best friend's hand in it. Perfect! Haagen muttered something in his sleep. Suddenly, he flipped over, knocking over the glass of water on Dojebon's feet while conveniently backhanding him in the face as his hand passed through the air. "Mmf…Mommy…" muttered Haagen. Dojebon stood frozen still, while at the same time shaking with rage. Calm down, calm down. It'll be alright, he thought to himself. Yes, he was feeling better already. He will do another prank. Perhaps he could put something in his breakfast. Those mushrooms he found under a rock after it stopped raining the other day would be ideal...

The next day…

"Heeheeheee! Grandmaaa!" giggled Haagen as he collapsed face-first into his oatmeal. Mwahahahahahaha! Perfectly executed! thought Dojebon.


Done! So what do you think? Post your comments by reviewing! Also, many thanks to my loyal readers (and reviewers), all seven of them! Fare thee well!