Hikari: I think it's too late. No one really reviewed all that much. And look at poor, poor Vinnie! He's 'sploded!
Vinnie: ::unconscious::
Yuki: ..Great. Just... great.
Vana: No... ABRAHAM LINCOLN!
Yuki: Mr. Taco.
Hikari: Leiderhosen! ::spazzy-jazzy grin:: (DON'T ASK.)
Midoshi: They're like trained seals... Let's sell them to the circus!
Disclaimer Oats Cereal Meal: Dang, Hikari, you watch too much Cowboy Bebop... anyways. Yo lawyers and others! She don't own anything copyrighted! So there!
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Hikari sat in front of the metallic fridge in a rigid position normally saved for samurai of the utmost strength and skill. Yet playing Final Fantasy had trained her to expect the unexpected through the sparkly wonder of random battles. KoEnma walked up slowly behind her. He looked calm, up until the moment where Hikari leaped out from behind him and giggled.
KoEnma had a sudden and short heart failure. "But I thought- How'd you- Oh, CHICKENS."
Yuki woodskated up next to Hikari. "Look what you've done to him! He thinks like you!"
"All I did was giggle! In slow-mo!"
"But's you're in two places at once!"
Yuki rolled her icey-blue eyes of doom. "Shut up, KoEnma." She promptly threw a brick at the sitting Hikari. "Hikari" tumbled over, revealing her as a dummy.
Hikari's face turned red. "So I left my post... nobody will kno- HEY WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT IF THAT'D BEEN THE REAL ME?! WOULD YOU HAVE THROWN A BRICK THEN?!"
Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Idiot... then you wouldn't be the one standing... And besides, rest assured that I would've thrown a brick, two angry rabid cats, and a large order of fries if that had been the real you."
"I like fries..." Hikari grinned from ear to ear, reblinding Yuki and KoEnma.
Meanwhile, in the depths of the living room type room!
Midoshi was choking on a large order of fries as he watched Vinnie wrestle two rabid cats and Kyoko hit Kayko on the head with a brick to get the shiny ribbon. Vana was still clinging to Kurama's shoulder, and Hiei was sleeping. Yusuke remained in an unconscious state. The whereabouts of Kaze are unknown as of this point in the unit of measure used to track the passing of the sun and moon.
They were all seemingly calm and happy. BANG! The front door flew into the backdoor, revealing a girl near-identical to Hikari. Kitty waved spastically and said, "HI THERE!" as Hikari dragged the blind Yuki out to the room of the living.
Hikari examined the damage. "Hmm... the doors need fixing... looks like they collided. YAY!!" She then faced the gaping whole that was once a closed door. Her eyes widened and she screeched, "AZUMI!!!"
Yuki's blindness suddenly cured. Kitty stared weirdly as Vana remained latched to Kurama's arm, which was now turning blue from cut-off circulation, and Yuki and Hikari raced to see who could hug Azumi first.
Kitty sweatdropped. "Umm... Midoshi? Do you have the spare straightjackets?"
Midoshi twitched and rocked back and forth as he huddled in the corner, still choking. He muttered into the empty large order of fries bucket, "That weasel... yes... I'll use a brick..." Then we do believe he cackled, "TWO RABID CATS! IT'S INGENIUS!"
Kitty sighed and threw Midoshi into the Living Dead Room. He was soon transformed into a vampire, which will never prove useful in this story.
Vana laughed til her face turned as bluey-purple as Kurama's arm. Azumi, Hikari's twin sister, was being mauled in hugs from Hikari and Yuki. Kitty then came to the rescue and de-leechified Hikari and Yuki from Azumi. She then waved and said, "HI!" Deja vu, neh?
Kaze's location became clear as air raid sirens blared and a voice over numerous speakers gave out warnings. "You are in a no wind-demon-flight zone. Please leave this town now or we'll throw a brick at you, while I eat fries and pet my two rabid cats."
As Azumi regained consciousness after lack of air, Hikari pondered on where Sniper could possibly be. Yusuke noticed her ...ponderation... ((a/n: What?!)). "What're you thinking about, Hikari?"
Hikari did not notice. Yusuke shrugged and began attempting to pry Kayko and Kyoko apart. KoEnma staggered into the living room, half-blind. "HIKARI! I'M GONNA GET YOU!!! YOU JUST WAIT TIL I CAN SEE AGAIN!"
Yuki waved her hands blindly in front of her. "If I trip on anything, Hikari, I'll second that motion." She then proceeded to trip over an electrical cord, to which Hiei responded with a quick save.
"YAY! TREE-MAN SAVED MY LIFE!!"
"He did not, you're still gonna get it."
"Aww..." Hikari glanced over at the rectangular opening resembling a door frame, and it would be, except the door is dead. Marbles from seemingly nowhere fell onto the "GET THE CRAP OUTTA MY HOUSE" welcome mat. Hikari screeched, grabbed Azumi, Yuki, Kitty, Kyoko, Vana, and Kurama, which was easy since she grabbed Vana. She threw them down the basement staircase and followed them. It was a matter seconds before the heard someone singing 'Sobakasu' an octave higher than normal, a brick, two rabid cats, some french fries, air raid sirens, chipmunk disco, leiderhosen, purple, a scream, and some explosions.
This is where we would tell you about everyone going into a mad panic. But! Due to cliche-overuse, everyone got a teddybear!
Meanwhile, in the living dead room...
"Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh..." Midoshi moaned.
A pale instructor rolled his eyes. "No, dude, it's 'I vant to suck your blooooood!!!' !! We're vampires, not flu patients!"
"Don't you mean zombies?"
"EEEK! WHERE?!" The instructor hid under the couch, which crawled away laughing.
Back in the basement...
"Hey guys, if I die, I want some muffins with extra large french fries, two rabid cats, and a side order of brick."
Yuki groaned. "Shut up, Hikari!"
Azumi finally awoke. "Love hurts..."
Kurama nodded in silent agreement. Vana pouted and whimpered. "I wanna cupcake..."
Hiei stood in the shadows. "Hn. Baka. Everyone knows I can take the kid."
"You mean Marble Lad?!"
Azumi looked to her left. "Hikari, is Marble Lad your new imaginary friend?"
Kitty giggled. "Nope! It's Sniper! He's this guy with all these marbles and other small objects which he flicks at his opponent, and with telepathy he makes them 'splode!"
"Yeah. He almost as cool as muffi- HEY! I FOUND THE LIGHT SWITCH!" Hikari proceeded flipping it up and down, send the small bulb in the center on and off. "IT'S PEANUT BUTTAH JELLY TIME!" The light protested this hour of the day and immediately shattered, pouring glas into Hiei's hair.
Kurama spoke for the first time in this chapter. "Hikari, you are a light demon, aren't you? Why don't you illuminate the room for us?"
Everyone smacked their foreheads for forgetting about that. Hikari giggled. "Okie dokie!" The room was flooded with light, blinding everyone. "Oops... too much..."
The light revealed many things. Azumi, who had turned to her left, had been facing a wall. Hiei, figuring everything was in shadow, was in the center of the room glaring at Hikari for shattering the light bulb and getting glass all over him. It also revealed that this was indeed the garage, not the basement. "Well, them's the gas."
Yuki twitched, "Don't you mean 'Them's the brakes' ?"
"No. The gas." Hikari pointed to the doorway, where Sniper was standing with a handful of beans. "Wait a minute... I RECOGNIZE THOSE BEANS! YOU STOLE THEM FROM SAMWISE!!!"
Vana glanced over at Hikari. "What?" Hikari glared and responded with, "You heard nothing, FOOL! NYAHHAHAHAH!" She jabbed the garage-magic-pushy-open button and zoomed out.
In the Living Dead Room.. ((a/n: Living Room, Living Dead Room, Dead Room, etc. etc.))
Midoshi was holding a bizarre sort of seminar for vampires with Zombiephobia. "FOOLISH... immortals... THERE IS NO NEED TO FEAR THESE ZOMBIES! THEY ARE BUT ROTTING CORPSES WALKING- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Midoshi screamed and writhed and moaned about two rabid cats, a brick, and a large order of french fries as a former ascendent of Larry the Mongoose nibbled at his toes.
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Hikari: Wootwoot! Done! Longest chapter I have written!
Azumi: Whee! I'm there!
Hikari: Yes my beloved twin! YOU ARE THERE!
Yuki: ...R&R Before I throw two rabid cats at Kyoko.
Midoshi: Why not a brick?
Vana: Did someone ask for a large order of fries?...
