Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1

As Harry, Ron and Hermione made their daily trek to the Great Hall for breakfast, a small group of Hufflepuff girls followed behind them, whispering to each other and giggling loudly. Neither of the boys were paying them much attention but Hermione apparently had been because she stopped suddenly and turned to glare at the group quite angrily. "I can hear you, you know!" She spat, her eyes flashing dangerously.

The girls jumped, fear visible on their features. The girl in the middle of the group recovered quickly and replied just as angrily, "Good, maybe you'll stop being such a minx if you learn what we all really think of you."

"Why you little--" Hermione took a step towards the group. Harry and Ron were quick to react. Ron put a hand on her arm, holding her in her place, while Harry stepped slightly in front of her and told the girls in no uncertain terms that they'd better get away quick. They grudgingly did so, but not before shooting both boys looks of sympathy.

"What was that about?" Ron asked, letting go of Hermione and watching the group of girls disappear with a look of bewilderment. The look was mirrored on Harry's face. Hermione, however, had her arms crossed tightly over her chest looking where the girls had been with no small amount of disdain on her face.

"I hate Lavender." She stated simply, to no one in particular.

The boys turned back to look at her in surprise. They knew that Hermione didn't always get along wonderfully with the other girls in her dorm, but it was common knowledge that they all tolerated each other. "Why? What'd she do?" Harry asked carefully.

"She started another rumor."

Both boys groaned at this. "What now?" Ron asked. "Have you moved onto shagging people now or something?"

Hermione's head shot up and she looked at him in surprise.

Ron blinked. "Oh. Who?"

"According to Lavender; you."

Ron blinked again. "What!"

Harry laughed at that, earning himself glares from his two best friends. He held up his hands in automatic surrender. Before they could start in on him he said, "Sorry, I couldn't help it." He grinned again. "At least I'm not included in this one, have fun you two."

Ron glared at him, but Hermione's next statement kept him from saying anything.

"And you."

Now Harry blinked. "What!"

A small smile pulled at her lips, to which both boys frowned at. "According to Lavender, I'm shagging Ron on the regular in a relationship that's supposed to be a secret but is extremely obvious to everyone but Harry. And I'm shagging Harry on the side in a "friends-with-benefits" relationship that's supposed to be a secret but is extremely obvious to everyone but Ron." She explained.

"WHAT!!" Harry and Ron exclaimed in unison.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh really now, it can't be that hard to understand--"

Ron cut her off. "Why am I the one stuck dating you and Harry here just gets you whenever he feels like it?"

"Well, gee Ron. Thanks." She crossed her arms back over her chest again and looked at him sourly. "I'm so sorry I'd be that bad to date."

He just waved her off. "That's not important, you never answered me."

Hermione shot him a glare before sighing and saying, "Well Lavender obviously knows that I'd never try for two relationships at once, she knows I'm much too practical for all that, so her obvious answer was that with your protectiveness, temper and jealous tendencies you wouldn't be fit for a "friends-with-benefits" relationship, so obviously you're the actual boyfriend. Harry on the other hand isn't the jealous type and is much more laid back when it comes to my actions so he'd be the perfect choice for a "friends-with-benefits" relationship, however not the greatest candidate for actually serious boyfriend/girlfriend dating situation."

"I'm not the jealous type!" Ron exclaimed.

"I wouldn't be a bad boyfriend!" Harry exclaimed.

Ron and Hermione both stared at him.

"Um, sure Harry, of course you wouldn't." Hermione patted his arm lightly while looking at him as if he was a confused child.

Ron wasn't so subtle. He coughed loudly and it sounded suspiciously like, "Cho!"

Harry glared at them both. "Thanks a lot guys."

"Anytime mate." Ron replied smiling brightly.

Harry sighed in defeat before going back to the conversation at hand. "So how is it that Lavender can know all this about you, but still can get it in her head that you're shagging the two of us?" He questioned.

Hermione shrugged. "Everyone has their faults I guess."

"You're okay with this?!?" Ron asked incredulously, his anger returning.

"Of course not, Ron! I mentioned earlier my current feelings about her didn't I? And I think my reaction to those Hufflepuff girls was proof enough that I am not happy about this particular rumor." Hermione huffed in annoyance.

Ron calmed down slightly at that and nodded his head. "Alright."

"So what's the plan for dealing with this one?" Harry asked. They were so used to all the crazy stories about the three of them flying around that they'd gotten quite used to these types of talks. This however was by far the worst rumor yet. Harry hoped very much that there wouldn't ever be one that could surpass it.

Hermione sighed. "I haven't come up with anything quite yet, but it's a still relatively new rumor so with any luck we can get by today with just ignoring it."

Harry nodded. "I guess that'll have to work. Now come on guys, I'm hungry."

A/N: Soooo, tell me what you think!! Should I continue? Please review!!!