A Hopeless Call

(A/N: Many of you may think I've abandoned this story, but I haven't, lol. After being in construction for many months, it's finally finished. This time we delve into a memory of Tarzan's, which I hope you enjoy.)

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The shutters were drawn for another night. The stars above in the clear indigo sky flickered and gleamed, as if in a timeless hope of composure. They seemed to be shining beyond, as if foretelling some distant secret that would soon make its way into unbeknownst hearts.

Tarzan and Jane sat another time in their tree house, pondering over happenings of the previous night. Jane was anxious to know what Terk meant by a hidden story, though her husband had refused to bring it up throughout the day. Either he was avoiding it, or he had clearly forgotten, Jane couldn't say.

She knew that she would have to bring it up soon. Somebody had to eventually.

Clearing her throat, she began to point out her question. "Tarzan, I - "

"Jane," Tarzan quickly interrupted, his head glancing about as if uncertain. "Jane, the shutters…they seem…"

"What? They seem…what, Tarzan?"

"Well…they seem…different," he pointed out, the expression on his face knowing that his answer was not the best that he could have hoped it was. He seemed so uncomfortable, as if someone were to ask him how many days left someone had to live. He was forever distracted, and Jane could see it.

Jane frowned. "Different?" She went along with the fake statement, bringing herself to her feet and casually stepping over to the windows, as if there really were a problem and it needed to be investigated. She put on a confused appearance, as she looked them up and down in judgement.

"Hmm. Well, they seem fine," she said, her voice in mock concern. "I see nothing dissimilar, Tarzan." She was beginning to think her husband was acting rather odd.

Tarzan shrugged, an uncomfortable smile on his face. "I – it does not matter. Never mind." Trying to ease the tension, he sat up and stepped over to Jane, tugging gently at her hand to bring her away from the shutters, which were beginning to annoy him with all of the banging and blowing they made.

Jane sighed. She knew why he was acting so strange. Maybe it was time to break some of the silence and force out what she wanted to say. She lowered her gaze to the floor and nimbly found her voice. "Tarzan, dear," she said. "If you're attempting to make me forget about what Terk said last night, please don't. You've been stepping on eggshells all night to avoid it."

At this, Tarzan spun around, his eyes under a frown. "Stepping on...eggshells?" he asked. "What sort? We have seen no eggs today."

"Ah – no, Tarzan..." Jane feebly said, trying not to laugh. "It's just...a saying. It means that you've been rather careful about something, and you're worried it's going to come out, that's all." She gave him a hopeful look.

Tarzan turned away. "Oh."

"Do you want to talk about last night?" she brought up, cautious at the angry but painful tone in his voice. She really didn't know what to do now. Tarzan's hand eventually fell from her own and she saw how he wasn't looking directly at her.

"No," he said.

Jane suddenly felt sorry for him, like she had done the time when he tried to convince her to stay in the jungle, and she could do nothing but refuse, away from her part. She tried to take hold of his hand again, but all she could grab was a section of his palm, as he was clenching it very hard. She gave it a squeeze.

"Jane..."

"Oh, Tarzan..." Jane breathed. "I hate to see you keeping this to yourself. You can't just bottle it up and pretend like it doesn't matter. Even if it's not a big thing...it still matters to me. Please...if not now, I would like it if you told me."

Tarzan stared at her. "I don't like to talk about it," he said carefully. He certainly didn't want to fool around in his sentences and offend Jane. He knew that sometimes…just saying one wrong word could be an insult. He tried to smile at Jane, but she wasn't smiling back.

"Why not?" She hoped that she wasn't coming off as annoying.

Tarzan shifted. "It...hurts," he finally said.

Jane suddenly felt a pang of sympathy. Here, her Tarzan holding something inside him that was painful, and had left it for all of these years. No wonder he seemed uncomfortable whenever she wanted to discuss his childhood. "Please tell me," she said, now softly. "I know what it's like to hurt."

Tarzan stared at her. From the look in her eyes he could see she wouldn't tell anyone, and they reflected their concern. He sighed. "All right."

Jane was led to a chair, where she sat down beside her partner with troubled looks, and leant forward to hear her husband's tale. She swallowed.

"Thank Terk for this," Tarzan joked. "But, she's right. About before. And," A grimace. "there's a story behind it. So...here it is..."

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Young Tarzan sat upon the branches of a mighty tree. There was a steady wind in the air that tickled against his cheeks, and ruffled the leaves for them to hush. He squatted upon the boughs, taking in the sounds, smells...

...and sights.

Tarzan looked below and saw her, Teeka. A female gorilla that was highly sought after by the dominant males, and was one of the next to take a mate. She held a lot about herself, and was one of the more gossipy sort, but Tarzan still held interest.

He had never experienced a close bond with anyone before in the means of compassion, but for some reason he highly wished that he would be chosen. How it would feel to be granted above all of the other males, who were thinking upon the same lines. He, Tarzan – the hairless wonder! The white ape.

It would make him feel as if he were special instead of different, and that's what he wanted more than anything. He spent hours upon hours wondering what he could do to impress Teeka, and for her to notice him.

Maybe he should try to be nice to her. He noticed, with scorn, that some males were not so polite when it came to feelings and devotion, and often demanded the best out of the females, bragging and claiming. That was his first attempt.

"Oh, Tarzan – just go away!" Teeka had snapped.

Tarzan felt confused. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"It's probably the same thing as every other male!" the she-ape replied. "I don't need you coming over here and bothering me too!"

"But - "

"Does Kala know you're interested? You're far too young, Tarzan!"

"I'm ten rainy seasons!" The boy said, indignantly. "That's not young!"

Teeka puffed. "Come back when you've grown some fur."

And that was the spark into Tarzan's second plan. He had walked away, shun, but with a frown on his face and a plan in motion. He went to the river to think, and spotted another reflection beside his own. He sighed and said; "Hallo, Terk."

"Hey, Tarzan!" Terk said, sitting beside him. "What's up with you?" she asked, noticing his befallen look.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Liar," Terk shot back. "C'mon, you can tell me, can't ya?"

Tarzan swirled his finger in the water. "Well...it's about, Teeka," he said. "She's ready to choose a mate, and I want her to choose me."

"What, you mean you like her?" Terk sneered, turning up her nose. "Face it, buddy, you can do a lot better than that, believe me. Please don't say that you like her."

Here was a thought that Tarzan had never considered. Did he really like Teeka in that way? Or did he just want to be before the others for once? He couldn't tell...what did love feel like? He felt so confused. "I don't know," he said. "I just want her to pick me, that's all. I don't know if I like her. I don't know."

Terk grumbled. "You're just full of problems, aren't ya? Why Teeka?"

"Because...she's nice, sometimes. And she's ready for mating. I'm the same age as some of the other males she likes, but she says I'm too young. Maybe I look too young," he sighed. "Because I don't have any fur yet."

"Hey, it'll grow," Terk smiled. "You're just a late bloomer."

"Yeah, right," he said. "By the time my fur grows through, all of the females will probably have been chosen then. There's no chance for me, Terk."

Terk actually let out a laugh. "Well, ain't we Mr. Sunshine and butterflies?" she said.

"There's always you," said Tarzan.

Terk gave no answer but coughed a meek cough, and turned on her way, shouting something back that the older males usually fought to claim a female, and how she would laugh if she were to see that displayed by Tarzan.

And this sparked Tarzan's third plan. He would fight for Teeka!

But his challenges didn't go so well. He entered with so much force and will inside of himself that he left with the damage. His knuckles and elbows bled and ran down into a thick bruise on his side, another addition was the one on his cheek below his left eye. When his mother saw him she let out a cry, and tended to his wounds kindly.

"I didn't know you were one to get into fights," she said, wiping at the blood.

"I don't, usually," Tarzan grumbled, through a sore lip.

Kala sighed. "I suppose I'll have to hear the reason for which you were so dedicated."

"Teeka's choosing a mate!" he blurted out. "And I want her to choose me! She said I should grow some fur first, but that's not going to happen right now, and I can't wait around before someone else gets picked. So Terk said I should fight for her, but look where that's got me." He wiped his wrist across his jaw. "I suppose I should just give up. There's no way it's going to work now."

Kala nuzzled into his hair and wiped further at his knuckles. "You are a little young, love. And don't interrupt by saying you're not, because it's different for you. You'll have to wait a little longer. And what did we say about solving problems?"

"We have to compromise, not with violence," Tarzan recited with an exhale.

"That's right," said Kala. "I'll bet you can't tell me where you got every one of these bruises, or who gave them to you, can you?"

Tarzan muttered something under his breath. His mother was right, no matter what he did to try and make things work. Now he had made himself look foolish in front of the whole family, and to most of his friends. Fighting never really solved much after all. He had rushed in too quickly and couldn't even remember half of what had happened anymore. He groaned and winced at her touch, as she scuffed against his side.

"I'm sorry, dear," Kala apologised. "You'll have to rest these off. I know how energetic you are, you'll just be putting yourself in pain if you try to move about too much."

This was terrible for Tarzan. How he loved nothing more than to explore, run, almost fly through the jungle at his agility and speed. He couldn't possibly wait around and watch all of his friends go and play without him. He almost protested in rage.

"Mom, I can't! I - "

"You will," Kala said, firmly. "You have to learn your lesson somehow, Tarzan. Don't keep trying to grow up too fast. You just have to wait your turn."

"Wait – wait – wait, that's all I ever do anymore!" Tarzan cried. "It's not fair."

Kala felt sorry for him, but no matter what she tried that night, she couldn't get a word out of her son. He seemed so dejected and sad, and furious. He wouldn't eat until the following morning, and his day of rest bothered him so much, that he was almost close to tears. It was like torture to watch him, the jungle was his home and life, and being away from it send him mad to the bone.

A few days healing and he was back to his old self, swinging and climbing as if he had never left at all. His appetite grew back, and so did his smile, and the same sparkle in his eyes that had mysteriously left.

But it made no difference.

Teeka had chosen her mate while Tarzan had taken rest. Taug, a fine, healthy gorilla, who had delivered him a vicious blow when attempting to fight for her. Taug was handsome, brave and strong, and would support her well.

Tarzan had always known that it was a hopeless call for him.

He wiped a few lone tears from his face as he took a vine roughly in his hand, and swung across the clustered sky of leaves.

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Tarzan settled his head into his knees as the story ended. Yet, he felt better, and he could even look at Jane now when before (reaching the part of speaking to Terk), he couldn't. He left a silence for a while, before his voice said the words:

"And that's the end," he said.

Jane was speechless. She had never even wondered if Tarzan had undergone anything such as acceptance or even love when he was younger. Hearing about it now made her heart leak with love and empathy. "Oh, Tarzan..." she sighed. Her eyes trembled.

"I know," he said. "I was foolish."

Silence.

Tarzan turned towards Jane. She was crying. Not hard, but tears obviously fell from her eyes and left wet trails in their wake. His story must have upset her.

"Jane?" Tarzan went to her side and put an arm around her, holding her. He hated to see her cry, especially if he had been the cause of it. At least she hadn't burst into tears, or Tarzan would have hated himself.

"Do you..." Jane trailed off.

"Do I, what?"

Jane sighed in a broken way. "Do you still...care about her that way? Teeka?" She had never been the jealous type, and no...she didn't feel jealous now. But the thought of Tarzan desiring someone else while he held her, and kissed her made her feel terribly uncomfortable. She felt her husband sigh.

"No. Never," said Tarzan. "I could never love like I do with you, Jane." He carefully tightened the hold on her, pulling her close. And it was true, Tarzan may have wanted Teeka, but he had never loved her. He had only wished for acceptance and a reason to belong. He knew that becoming her mate would never have made him happy as he was with Jane. He would always be wanting more.

Jane believed him, and settled into his hold, her head drooping onto his lap as he gently stroked her hair under his strong hands. It was painful, this way...sharing hidden stories and spilling feelings, but it was the only way to gain one another's trust, and make the bondage forever stronger.

But will it last? Jane thought. What will Tarzan say about the last memory I have? One I'm meaning to forget. Will he still care then?

It would have to wait for next night, Jane knew. Then she would tell.

She bit her lip, and closed her eyes under Tarzan's touch.

To be continued

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(A/N: Sorry this chapter took me so long! Hope it brought a smile! Please R&R!)