Child's Play

By Dany

Summary: When Grissom comes up with something private during work, Sara is confused, but maybe a conversation can help.

A/N: This is a sequel to my 'Baby series'. It took me a while to come up with a way to get back into the story, so I hope someone is still interested in this.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

xxxxx

"That's all," Grissom finished the instructions for everyone tonight.

"Hey, what about me?" Everyone except Sara.

The others had been given cases and were already on their way out, but he hadn't said one word to Sara since entering the breakroom.

"There is this thing called paper work."

She could hear Nick groan as he left the room, happy that he wasn't the one those words were directed at. However, Sara blinked, confused about what Grissom was talking about.

Had he lost the report again in the aftermath of a tornado that he called his filing system?

She had put in another extra hour yesterday to finish the stupid thing so that she could get out in the field tonight.

He pointed his finger to the door as a motion to come with him. She was tempted to tell him to just hand her a case and leave her alone, but reason won out.

Her day had been longer than usual. She had only gotten about two hours of sleep, and while she was always running on little sleep, two hours were cutting it even for her. She wasn't too tired to work yet, but it had made her slightly cranky. Especially since she hadn't been able to figure out what kept her from resting.

Arriving at his office, she hoped he had noticed that she wasn't in the mood for one of his experiments.

"Is this about my report?" He shook his head, but said nothing further. Great, a guessing game.

"Grissom…" She tried to make it clear that he should get to the point.

He finally realized that he better do as she wished. "I didn't mean to keep you from your work. I just thought that maybe you would be interested in this."

He held out a letter and when she took it from him, she saw that it was from the Knightleys. They thanked them for their help with the insect house and of course Amelia, but they also invited them for Amelia's second birthday party.

Sara looked up, wondering why he had not told her off-hours.

But then, they hadn't talked much outside of work, not since last week. He had tried to fix things at work, doing most of the cases with her, talking to her, asking her how she was dealing, but that was not enough.

At first she had thought it nice that he was being so attentive, but then she had started wondering why he was putting so much into their work relationship. Then her insecurity took over and blew things out of proportion. Now the question was, was he focusing on work so he didn't have to deal with their personal relationship? She didn't want to believe that he was already breaking his promise.

What Sara didn't want to acknowledge was that she was scared, and that was the reason why she wasn't sleeping. "Why are you telling me that now?" The look on his face told her he was taken aback by her cold behavior, but she wanted him to figure it out. After all, Gil Grissom was a smart man.

And he did. Sara could practically see the metaphorical light bulb go on over his head and was curious as to what he had to say.

"It's a slow shift, and I thought that you would be interested and…" All the wrong reasons came out, making it sound so unimportant. Grissom realized it himself and knew he had to tell her the truth or risk losing her.

"I don't know what to do." He sounded so vulnerable, and his physical reaction mirrored this as well. Only now, Sara could see the fatigue in his face. He was pale, and his eyes were shadowed.

Suddenly she knew what had gone wrong.

Ironically, it was not she that had expected too much, but Grissom who wanted to move further than they were prepared to and thought that she would not be satisfied with what they were trying to recover. He obviously needed more assurance.

"Grissom, I don't expect a miracle. I know this is hard, but we can take our time. You can take your time." Maybe she could make him understand that she was just as insecure.

"This last week was hell. I thought that after our talk we could spend some time together. Maybe just one little breakfast. Instead you put everything into work and although I love working with you I felt sick. I thought that this was your way of letting me down. I don't expect a miracle, I just want a starting point and go on from there slowly."

When she finished, she saw that he had been listening and was thinking about her words.

"Breakfast?"

Sara nodded and tried to reassure him with a smile, praying that he would overcome his fears.

"Where?"

"A diner, let's start slow." She knew he was not ready to share his house or feel even remotely comfortable in her 'territory', so she provided some neutral ground.

They had been 'out' before, but this time there would be no buffer between them, and maybe that was the decisive point.

She was relieved when his answer was positive.

"After shift?"

Sara sent him one her smiles, and she could see the tight lines around his eyes easing.

"Meet me in the parking lot. And bring the letter with you."

xxxxx

Grissom leaned against his car, waiting for Sara to leave the lab. It was already thirty minutes after the end of shift, and Sara had yet to emerge from the building.

He began to get nervous, shifting from one foot to the other. Although this whole… 'date' had been her idea, he was afraid that he had blown it somehow. A normal 'date' was difficult for him, but Sara was so unpredictable.

Relief flooded him when he saw her step out into the parking lot, looking around searching for him.

Spotting him, her face lit up sending him a blinding smile. "Sorry I'm late, but you know me. It's easy to forget that shift ended if you look down a microscope."

Her joke didn't have the desired results. Only the corner of his mouth lifted a bit, but it was not a real smile. He was too nervous. "That's fine. Where are we going?"

She moved to the passenger side of his car. "A.D.?"

He nodded and got into the car. Sara followed and they were on their way.

xxxxx

The place was empty when they entered, only a few people were out so early. The big morning rush was probably yet to come.

They sat in silence until their orders were placed.

Only then, Grissom spoke up, "What do you think about the letter?"

Sara leaned back with a bemused smile. Of course Grissom would still try to avoid the essential parts of their conversation, but sooner or later they would have to clear things up.

For now, she would give him an out.

"Do you want to go?"

She had thought about the invitation and wasn't sure how to proceed. Although she really liked the little girl, she didn't like parties – especially parties with lots of people and little kids.

The look on Grissom's face told her that he had the same doubts.

"It's a birthday party for a two-year-old," he stated, not really saying what he wanted to.

"You want to see her again," the surprise at her insight was evident in his face, "she really is a cute kid."

Slowly he nodded, showing her he cared.

Just at that moment, the waitress brought their food and interrupted the possibility at an even deeper insight. Sara knew they were at a diner, and serving food was what they did, but it seemed those waiters all went to a seminar on 'how to interrupt at the most inopportune moments'.

She had wanted to ask him more, but now the time had passed.

Listlessly, she pushed the food around her plate, trying to think of a way to ask him what she wanted to know. When she looked up, she noticed that Grissom wasn't eating either. He was sitting there with the fork in his hand, but didn't move it, just staring at her. He was probably trying to figure out what he had said wrong.

Sara pushed the plate away and crossed her arms in front of her chest as a defense mechanism. His silent admission had made her think again – and not exactly the most pleasant thoughts.

"Why does this little girl have such an effect on you?" In her mind the question went on, 'when I don't', but she knew she was being unfair. He was trying.

"She moves something inside of me. Just like…" He probably hadn't meant for that to slip out, and when he realized what a confession he had made, he stopped abruptly.

Sara wondered what he had been about to say. She leaned forward, braced herself on the table and looked at Grissom expectantly. "Grissom?"

His eyes were downcast, trying to avoid eye contact, not wanting her to see what was going on inside of him.

From his reaction, she had a very good idea what he had wanted to say. Her promise to go slow was pushed aside for the moment. Although he had promised to let her in, he had not given her anything else yet. Maybe this was her chance to at least have a point to go forward from, to keep hoping.

"She reminds me of you."

He didn't lift his head, and his voice was nothing more than a whisper. "She looks like what I imagine you looked like at that age."

Sara sat there, soaking it all in.

This was a huge step forward.

"The way she listens and takes up everything, her smile…" He looked up, straight into her eyes, and Sara felt her insides melt at the intensity she found.

She pressed her hands to the table, knowing they would be shaking otherwise. Her mouth opened, wanting to ask him what this meant, but her vocal chords refused to cooperate.

"I see you." His hands were slowly inching forward until they were covering hers.

The fact that his hands were clammy, cold, and seemed to be shaking gave her courage, knowing that he too was nervous.

"Grissom?" A simple nod from him encouraged her to go on, "As much as I…want this, I don't want you to feel pressured into something."

She was so focused on getting through her speech that she didn't see his confusion and hurt at her words.

"I know, I just forced this on you, and I'm sorry. I really want to go at your pace."

When she took the time to take a deep breath, he interrupted her. "You didn't. I wanted to say that. Can't you just accept that?"

"We're sooo good at screwing this up," she sighed, realizing she had overreacted. She should have just said 'thank you ' and let it go.

"Then let's not exceed our class for once." His weird but true answer made her smile.

"We talk too much, and we think too much."

"Exactly." He looked down on his plate, which was virtually untouched. "So, how's your food?"

Sara smiled again at his humor and replied, "Cold, but the company is good."

The tension finally left them when Grissom returned her smile.

Sara decided to use the good mood and thought about a solution for their invitation. "I think we should go and see Amelia. We don't have to stay, but maybe we could just drop off a present."

Grissom thought about it for a minute and then nodded before signaling the waitress to bring them new plates with warm food.

TBC