Child's Play
Chapter 7
By Dany
Summary: Finally, it's time for a big step forward.
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The scene was eerily familiar.
Sara was standing in front of the mirror, smoothing down her clothes. Although she'd had more time to get ready and carefully choose her outfit than the last time, she was just as nervous – if not more so.
Tonight was the night.
They both had the night off so Grissom had proposed to make use of it. Waiting three days after his invitation had been hell, but she knew it was better that way. They wouldn't have to worry about getting to work on time and cutting their date short.
She was a bit confused by Grissom's request that she'd dress casually and practically. Obviously they were not going to a restaurant, and to be honest, Sara was grateful for that. They would have been incredibly uncomfortable, unaccustomed to the very social environment, and instead of it being romantic, it would probably be just a very tense evening.
Despite her repeated questioning, Grissom hadn't budged, not even giving her a hint as to where he was taking her. It was driving her crazy.
Sara had chosen black slacks with a burgundy shirt, nothing spectacular. Basically, she looked like she was going to work, and as she looked at the mirror again, she started doubting her choice. Was this too casual? Did she look plain?
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Grissom stood in front of her door, fist already poised to knock when he hesitated.
His doubts were playing with his mind, all of his fears surfacing once again, but he knew he had thought this over and over and nothing was going to change the fact that he wanted to be close to Sara. Those fears would not simply go away just because he had made a decision, and he had to deal with that. He could go over a pro/con list in his head, but he had done that one time too many, and now the thought only gave him a headache.
He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Before he knocked he had to get himself under control again. Sara did not need his insecurities on top of hers.
The air flowed slowly out of his mouth, and then his hand made contact with the wooden surface.
He only had to wait a few seconds until the door swung open.
"You're beautiful."
Sara's eyes widened, and he swore she was blushing, but she immediately lowered her head to examine her shoes so he couldn't be sure.
Her answer was a stammered thank you before she stepped away from the door to fetch her jacket.
"Are you ready?" he asked, when she remained standing in the doorway, taking a good look at him.
She shook herself from her thoughts and let her eyes wander up to his. "Are you?" she threw back, her question aiming for his inner core.
Grissom swallowed hard, his own doubts trying to fight their way back to the surface again, but he managed to nod his head and hold out his arm for her.
He was stronger than that.
xxxxx
The drive was mostly spent in silence, except for the time when Sara had tried to lure some information from Grissom, but he remained tightlipped. He wanted it to be a surprise.
His plans included an old teaching colleague, a favor, and the hope that Sara would not want a dinner at a fancy restaurant full of people. He had tried to arrange a more private location, trying to create surroundings in which they would be able to relax enough to enjoy the evening.
At the moment, she was pouting and staring out the passenger side window, but Grissom guessed it was more for show than actually a display of true wounded pride.
When he pulled into a darkened parking lot, Sara turned to him. She could only see an equally dark building complex in front of her and couldn't make out a sign to tell her where they were. "Where…"
"Ah-ah!" Grissom cut her off, smirking at her frustrated huff, "Come on."
He exited the car and went around to open the door for her, giving the impression of a perfect gentleman. He led her away from the car, down a small path.
Sara looked around and recognition slowly dawned. This looked like a botanical garden.
They walked on until they came to what looked like the back door of one of the green houses. "Griss…"
"Shhh." He took one of her hands and wove his fingers through hers, tugging a bit on her arm while opening the door with the other hand. "Someone owed me a favor, and I wanted this evening to be special. I wanted to give you flowers, but I thought you'd like vegetation more."
He opened a second inner door, and what she saw took her breath away.
Several small lamp elements were lit around the green house, giving it a soft glow. Lots of exotic plants framed a path that led to a square, the ground soft from pieces of bark. Right in the middle there was a blanket spread out, food placed decoratively on it.
She couldn't believe the length Grissom had gone to make this evening special. "I feel like I stepped into a movie."
She could feel her free hand shaking, amazed that he – Grissom - had arranged all of this
"A bad movie?" The insecurity was audible in his voice. He watched her every move, and only when she smiled he relaxed a little.
"I love vegetation." She moved forward into the square, looking around, a huge smile on her face. Grissom remained standing on the path, watching her taking everything in. His hopes were rising that he had made the right decision.
"You should come over here before the food gets cold," she teased him, but when she saw him hesitating she beckoned him with a wink of her finger. "I really like it. Let's enjoy our dinner."
Grissom shrugged and sat down next to her, reaching for a plastic container. "Do you want some quiche? It's without meat."
Her smile widened, showing her happiness at his thoughtful planning.
"There's some other food too. I've got vegetables and dips; in that can is some vegetable crème soup, and there are some sandwiches to go with it. I figured I'd make it light since I don't know if you eat your dinner after or before shift."
As he saw her wide eyes, he lost his confidence and stuttered, "We can go and get some real food if you don't like this."
Sara had been staring at all of the food, but when she heard Grissom doubt his choice, her head swiveled around. "What…no, this is great. Really. Thank you."
To show him that she meant it, she took a sliced carrot and dipped it before crunching it with her teeth. He smiled and decided to follow her example, reaching for a piece of quiche.
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They had continued eating in relative silence only asking for this or that, but never delving into a real conversation. Shy glances and small smiles were exchanged, making the evening almost magical.
Sara marveled at how well this date seemed to turn out. Never had she imagined that it would be this romantic.
To start a conversation, she tried to formulate a simple question that left a lot of leeway, not wanting to corner him. "Tell me something about you. Anything."
He stopped in mid bite, startled by her sudden request. His initial reaction was to tell her that there was nothing important to say about him – a gesture of defense – but then he thought better about it.
Sara was only trying to strengthen their bond again.
But what to say? What to reveal?
"I've always been a science person." He knew that was a lame start, and Sara seemed to agree, shaking her head and turning back to her food.
"But I also love the arts. My mother showed me how wonderful this other world can be, using it to balance my love for science. She had an art gallery. I guess I made the effort because she got into science to show me she supported me. She read biology books trying to understand me. Now, I almost like it as much as my bugs."
Sara blinked, amazed at what he had revealed, stunned that he was talking so freely about his mother. She reached over and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "Thank you."
Only now, Grissom lifted his head, daring to look at her, and he was relieved to see a bright smile on her face. His heart felt lighter, although the revelation didn't seem that big now, but it was a first step.
"I took several literature courses during my studies. I didn't do it for extra points. I thought I should know about things other than physics and math. I liked the ideas, and I liked the books, but I didn't like the professors telling what to think about the books, so I stopped going after two semesters."
Grissom felt better knowing she was not going to let him open up alone. Maybe this was the right way to understand each other on a deeper level.
"I considered getting a medical degree, but I think I was too afraid of all those people I would have to deal with. Entomology seemed to be a safer choice. And in the end, I still got what I wanted. We help people."
Sara thought about this, imagining Grissom as a doctor. It wasn't that hard, but he had made the right choice. Otherwise they wouldn't have met. It was a selfish thought, but she couldn't help herself.
She tried to think of another piece of herself that she could give him in exchange for this memory.
"It's not as serious as your wish to be a doctor, but when I was a kid I wanted to be a fisherman, well fisherwoman. Not that I could have killed the fish, but going out to the sea everyday, spending several hours out there, far away from everything…That was something I wanted to do, being out on the ocean, surrounded by water, no noise but the rippling of the waves and the cry of the sea gulls. It's a pretty romantic notion, but…"
She could see Grissom nodding, taking her words in. They were really not that different. He would be the one to understand her need for a quiet spot in a fast paced life. Maybe they could find some solitude together.
Sara hoped Grissom would offer her another piece of himself, but he changed the rules of their conversation. "How old were you?" His question startled her disturbing the bubble they had been sealed in.
She looked into his eyes. He wanted to make the effort to get to know each other again, this time beyond the surface.
"I can't remember when it started. I know that when my parents went to the market in the morning to buy provisions I would stray to the port, watching the fishermen come and go. They would tell the boys about the sea. I was too young and a girl, so I always stood a bit away from the others, but I listened just the same. I never told anyone, not even my parents. I would be at the shore for hours, staring out and wishing I had a boat."
The food was long forgotten, their hunger satisfied for the moment.
They sat facing each other, now hungering for something different. "Do you regret coming to the desert?"
There was another question lurking behind this one. As usual, Grissom's words were ambiguous, so Sara took her time to formulate an answer. She had to tread very carefully.
The truth was, there had been a time she had really wanted to leave, but was it really regret?
Right now she didn't want to be anywhere else. She was here, with Grissom, on a date.
Did she miss the ocean? Yes, she did. Did she want to leave to have that peace again? NO, not right now.
"No, right now, I'm where I want to be."
This answer seemed to calm him, and it was the truth.
Grissom relaxed some more, and with a newfound energy, he pushed himself off of the ground. "Want to take a walk?"
His hand reached out and Sara took it, hoisting herself up. "Sure."
xxxxx
Sara liked vegetation, it was true. Grissom knew a lot about vegetation.
Deeper conversation was left behind as they tried to match their knowledge in a shallower field. Grissom was surprised to notice that it was easier than he had anticipated, and the possibilities seemed endless. If he had to pass at giving information, Sara could take over. He had realized how much he enjoyed it.
The revelations had been minor, but had left him drained. Opening up was hard, but for Sara – for himself – he wanted to make the effort.
This walk gave him time to regroup and analyze what had been said. He had told her personal stuff, and she had done the same without questioning, although he did. That didn't seem fair. If she gave him the chance, he decided to let her ask him whatever she wanted, hoping she would start light on him.
For now, he was content to ease back into their old 'battle of the wits'.
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Although she seemed attentive, she was not.
It was a skill she had acquired in school when she had been too bored by the teaching material. Never would she have thought that she would use it with Grissom. She couldn't help herself.
In a moment of excitement, Grissom had taken her hand and pulled her over to show her a small beetle that was sitting on a leaf. Even when they had left the little crawler behind, he hadn't let go. Sara didn't think he was aware, but decided to revel in it while she could.
This contact made it difficult for her to concentrate on his words and her brain made her answer automatically. She found it amusing that Grissom was so immersed in his surroundings that he didn't notice her scam.
Maybe one day she would tell him about it.
But right now, the warmth of his hand was feeling too good to break the moment.
xxxxx
After they finished their walk through the green house, they returned to their picnic spot where Grissom pulled another surprise out of the food bag.
With a smile on his face he turned to Sara, and she saw that he held a plate with a crème gateau. "You're really trying to stuff me, I never eat that much," she protested, but good-natured humor was coating her tone.
"Well, it's not as if you had too much to begin with," he joked back. "You're beautiful." It slipped out; it seemed like he couldn't make the conscious decision to tell her that.
Sara blushed, but kept smiling. This was the second time that day that he told her she was beautiful. Usually she shied away from such compliments, knowing they were mostly meaningless platitudes to appease the woman, but with Grissom, it was different. He would never use something like that to profit from it, and that made such a compliment even more treasurable.
"I know you feel a bit uncomfortable and that you have doubts about your ability to carry through a date, but this is perfect. Thank you." She waited anxiously until Grissom had set the plate down before she bent over slowly, letting him see what she intended to do. She hesitated only a brief moment to give him time to object before her lips met his.
Grissom on the other hand did not hesitate and let all his doubts fly away to show her how much she meant to him.
Time seemed to be at a standstill. Never before had Sara felt so sure that it would work out.
TBC
