Break Down

"Illyria?" Wes walked into Spike's apartment. The place was trashed, broken glass everywhere. His eyes made a quick scan. He cast his eyes down and saw the motionless form of her. "Illyria." He called, kneeling down, cradling her head slightly.

She slowly came to consciousness. Intense blue eyes opening. "You." She glared. "You did this to me!" She jumped up and backed away. He looked up confused.

"Thisthis body, has become so frail. II can feel the pain searing throughout every crevice. It's revolting." Illyria touched the sting on her mouth and looked down to her hands. "Blood. This vessel bleeds. It'sIII can't do this." She said franticly. "I can't defend myself. I can't cause pain."

"Who did this?" Wes now stood up.

"I can't cause pain." She pain through gritted teeth, clenching her fists. "He didn't even flinch before me."

"Who didn't?" Wes walked forward.

"Don't take another step closer. You took it all away." She suddenly lashed forward and grabbed Wes by the throat. "This is your fault. You pathetic mortal." She squeezed. "I despise you all the more."

"Illyira" Wes coughed.

"I hate" The large cuts on her arm drew her eyes away. Her suit was torn apart, bloody flesh revealing. Her eyes widened, brows knitting together. "...myself." She dropped Wes to the floor.

"I'm useless. I'm worthless. I can't do anything!" She yelled.

Wes regained his poise. "That's not true..."

"I'm nothing. I can't cause mayhem, chaos, and pain." She backhanded him. "Nothing!" She ran her hands through her hair, clenching at the roots. "II"

"Calm down. Breathe a minuet." Wes tried.

"Breathe? I shouldn't have to." She punched him square in the chest. "Does breath escape you now?" She paused to let him cough. "You've never given me the respect I deserve." She stalked towards him. "I loathe you. All of you. You stole the only thing I had left in this forsaken world." She punched him again.

"How's it feel?" He said with a slight grin, which was quickly slapped off.

"I can feel everything now, but cause no one to feel my pain, my wrath." She punched him across the face. "Nothing!" She screamed.

Wes stumbled to stand upright, only to have Illyria hit him again, sending him into the wall. "I can't do anything." She yelled to him. "Inutile, flawed, incapable." She snatched down and picked him up by the throat again. "You don't even tremble." She said lowly. He gasped for air. "I'll take great pleasure in ending your futile existence." She tightened her grip.

"Iforgive you." Wesley's grey-blue eyes looked deep into the icy shells of Illyria.

She froze. Features turning to one of confusion. She cocked her head slightly, eyebrows knit together. Illyria released Wes, dropping him to the ground harshly.

Her fingers drove into her palms. "I am reduced to this." She lowered her head.

"It is emotion that you're experiencing Illyria. It's what makes humans who they are. Don't you understand that yet?" He closed the distance between them.

"NO!" She shrieked and stepped back, covering her ears. "I am above you!" Illyria screamed. She breathed heavily. "II" Her eyes flickered about. She looked down to her body then fell to her knees, starting to hyperventilate. Tears sprang to her eyes uncontrollably, breaking down into silent sobs.

Wes bit back and knelt down in front of her. He slowly reached forward and put his arms around her. "Don't touch me!" She snapped, slapping away his arms. "Don'ttouch" She breathed in short quick breaths.

"Illyria you need to calm down, you'll hyperventilate." Wesley soothed.

"Idon'tunderstand. This can't behappening. I"

Wesley reached out again, and this time she fell into him, shaking violently.

"I have become you." She said softly as the tears subsided.

"You'll be all right Illyria." Wes stroked her hair.

"Nothing will ever be right again. And you know it. Your leader deludes you with lie. The time has come. It is upon us..."