Swinging her legs around she sat up and looked down at her friend's faces, they all seemed so innocent. So human and weak.
She shook her head to rid it of the thought.
They were her friends; they had stood by her through apocalypses and fought by her side. They were strong, brave.
Weak.
She shook her head again and stood up fast, wrapping the blanket around herself as she walked into the kitchen.
Pouring herself a cup of tea, she kept her eyes fixed on the stairs that led up to Giles' bedroom. He was weak too, weaker than her friends could ever be.
Buffy frowned hard and pulled the blanket tighter around herself. She swallowed noisily as she tried to fathom what was wrong with her. Taking her mug with her, she walked out into the still morning air and sat down by the fountain.
Humans were weak. She knew it was the Slayer side of her speaking, the demonically enhanced part of her that took over during her battles.
She wasn't human.
She never had been, she knew that now. Always destined to be chosen she was the strongest out of all the candidates, thousands of girls the world over living their lives as a potential and she was chosen.
She was powerful.
Strong.
Spike had told her that she was the strongest Slayer he'd ever encountered and he'd met a few in his time. He'd never seen one like her and if she only realised her true power she would be unstoppable.
She flexed her fingers and watched the muscles and tendons dance in her arm.
She was the Slayer.
Would be the Slayer until she died.
She was linked to the demons, chosen to save the world for the sake of mankind, no matter how bad the odds were against her.
Buffy smiled, a small knowing smile that an onlooker would've easily seen was all about realisation.
She was human, superhuman. The demon essence they put into the first Slayer wasn't in her. The Slayer line had evolved and integrated the power the demon world gave her into their natural abilities. If she still had the heart of a demon then she would've been immortal, like Spike, but she wasn't-she was as weak as a human if caught or injured. Her power was in her senses and her strength, not in her heart.
Her heart was a fragile as a humans.
It broke.
It bled.
It ached.
She clutched her chest again and sighed. God did it ache.
A shuffling noise caught her attention and she turned her head to find Giles watching her-his sleep mussed hair, plaid dressing gown and grey slippers making her lips twitch into an amused smile.
"Morning." Giles squinted up at the sky, the dawn chorus of birds heralding the coming day even though the sky was still dark.
"Hey." Buffy replied and sipped her tea; part of her relieved that she was no longer thinking he was weak and human. The ache inside her grew worse and she pulled a face of discomfort.
"Anything wrong?"
"Nothing…" She said a little too quickly and then tried to smile. "…I just…feel a little off. Like I need to be somewhere but I don't know where. Must be all the things I was supposed to do last week plaguing me…or something."
"Yes, or something." Giles replied and looked over his shoulder into the room where Willow and Xander were waking. "Breakfast?"
Buffy nodded, her stomach rumbling as she realised that she hadn't eaten in a few days-the last thing she'd had was some junk food that one of Spike's minions had bought for her.
Spike.
When she thought about him the ache seemed to subside a little.
She shrugged her shoulders and followed Giles back into the apartment.
"Mind if I use your bathroom? Just…vamps don't really have much in the way of showers." Buffy smiled as Giles nodded at her.
Listening to Buffy humming in the shower, Willow rifled through the training bag that Buffy had left with her the night before she'd disappeared and pulled out a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a small white spaghetti strap top. She walked down the hall to the bathroom and knocked on the door before pushing it open.
She froze.
Her eyes immediately drawn to Buffy's legs as she grasped the small towel to her upper half.
Buffy blinked.
"God, Buffy…" Willow couldn't take her eyes off the long marks on her friend's legs. They were clearly claw marks; she looked as though she'd been attacked by a wildcat.
"Willow…" Buffy started and furrowed her brows, a sudden feeling of dirtiness overcoming her and making her want to hide away from her friend.
"Sorry…just…"
"What's happening?" Xander appeared behind Willow and Buffy clung desperately to the towel as she backed away from the door.
Her heart pounded hard against her ribs as she felt the sudden need to escape, to run far away from the prying eyes of people and be alone.
"Xander, get out!" Willow pushed him backwards until he went back into the living room. Turning around she walked into the bathroom and held the clothes out to Buffy. "I'm sorry, I just came to give you these."
There was something in the way Buffy looked at her that scared her. Normally twinkling green eyes looked at her with a hardness that resembled a feral animal that had been backed into a corner.
She slowly put the clothes down on the floor and backed out of the room, not wanting to disturb Buffy any further than she already had.
"Something's very wrong." Willow said to Giles as she paced the living room. It had been over twenty minutes since she'd left Buffy alone and her friend hadn't come out of the bathroom. "The way she was acting Giles, like some wild creature, that wasn't Buffy."
"She's clearly been through a lot." Giles replied calmly and gave her a sympathetic smile. "We must give her time. I'm sure she will tell us everything we need to know soon enough."
"And what was with the touching yesterday?" Xander chimed in and pressed his fingers against his mouth thoughtfully.
Giles looked pensive as he thought about what Xander had said, part of him distressed that he had noticed Buffy's reaction, too, but hadn't said anything.
"She acted like us touching her…" Xander continued but was cut off by Giles.
"Was wrong…I believe she was acting on instinct. Willow's touching was acceptable, but our offer of comfort was seen as a terrible act."
"She had claw marks." Willow said quietly as she stared at the floor blankly. "On her legs…arms…claw marks, Giles…like she'd been attacked, tortured…who'd do such a thing?"
"I don't know."
The bathroom door swung open and all three of them turned to look at Buffy where she was slowly emerging.
"Hey…" She said as she buttoned up the red shirt she'd put on over her white top.
Willow watched her closely as she raised her head up and smiled, there was no sign of the girl she'd seen in the bathroom-in front of her was the Buffy she used to know.
"Buffy…" Giles took a step towards her as she stood in the archway by the kitchen.
Buffy wobbled slightly and wrapped her arms around herself as her body trembled, a sting of pain arcing through her. She fought for breath as the pain grew stronger until it felt like it was searing through her body. Frowning hard, she screwed her eyes shut and swallowed, trying to ignore the feeling of being pulled in all directions at once and concentrating on remaining standing.
"Buffy? What Willow saw…the marks…we need to know…who did this to you."
Buffy swallowed hard again and dropped to her knees as the pain inside blinded her. She grasped at the floor as she curled up and then shot her head up as she felt a clear pull in one direction. Her eyes wide with shock over what was happening, she didn't see her friends in front of her, instead she was seeing the night Spike had cleaned up her legs and she had touched the blood on his lip. Her words rung in her head and the sound of her heart beating hard flooded her ears. Mine.
"Spike." Buffy breathed and saw the shocked expression on her friend's faces. Jumping to her feet, she bolted out of the door.
"Spike?" Willow looked confused and ran to the door. "Buffy!"
"How could I have been so blind?" Giles closed his eyes as his dismissal of the way she'd reacted to being touched haunted him. "I hate to say this…whatever Spike did to her, I don't think he hurt her."
"What?" Xander looked incredulous as Giles turned to face them.
"He wouldn't hurt what he was bonded to. Her unwillingness to talk to us, the distant way she's been acting and the way she reacted to being touched by a male. All signs of a claim that I should've recognised. I think something happened to her, something that led to her relying on Spike to protect or look after her, and somehow…"
"He claimed her?" Willow blinked in disbelief as she tried to take in what Giles was saying. "The scars on her legs, the marks on her wrists…what if this isn't about a claim…the way she reacted to me seeing them was almost as if she was ashamed of them, Giles…what if the vampires who had her tried to…"
Giles closed his eyes as he realised what Willow was trying to say. "It could be a factor…we need to find her…she can't have gone far."
Joyce placed the duster down as the phone rang. She picked up the mobile from the table and walked into the living room.
"Hello?"
"Mrs Summers?" Giles' voice rang down the phone and she stopped walking.
"Mr Giles? There's nothing wrong, is there?"
"Is Buffy there? She was here a moment ago but then she was gone, she left her training kit here." Giles tried to sound as normal as possible, but the incessant pacing of Willow was proving to be more than a distraction.
"No…she hasn't been around in a…oh god!" Joyce pulled the curtains aside as her SUV screeched out of the drive. "My car!"
"Your car?"
"Someone just took my car…"
"Buffy." Giles put the phone down and grabbed his keys off the rack, not waiting to see if the others were following before heading out of the door.
Joyce stared at the phone in her hand as the reception went dead and then looked out the window at her empty driveway.
"Buffy?"
Buffy slammed her foot down on the accelerator as she passed the town boundary, her mothers SUV revving loudly as she desperately tried to make it go faster. Her heart raced as she stared at the road in front of her, keeping her focus wholly on getting to where she was going.
Only she didn't know where she was going.
All she had was a pull inside her that was acting like a compass, getting stronger or weaker depending on the direction she was heading in.
And a sense of urgency that said wherever she was going, she had to get there fast.
As pain seared through her again she screwed her face up and tried to swallow it down, to push it to the back of her mind and keep it there so she could concentrate on getting to Spike.
"Spike." Buffy whispered as she gripped the steering wheel tighter with both hands.
She knew what she was doing was crazy and she couldn't explain why she was risking life and limb to hunt him down but something said he was in trouble and that was all she needed to justify her actions. She couldn't let him get hurt. She had to find him.
Whizzing down the interstate, she watched a sign fly past that told her she was heading towards Los Angeles.
"You really went to LA…" She pressed her foot down harder on the accelerator and felt the engine kick into life. Soon the early morning traffic would start and she wouldn't be able to drive as fast as she was now, getting pulled over by the police wasn't going to help her save Spike.
"Spike…where are you?" Buffy frowned at the empty road in front of her.
A rush of images hitting her made Buffy slam her foot down on the brakes, the tyres of the SUV screeching as she span to a halt.
She panted hard as she saw blurred jumbled scenes flitting across her eyes. The last one stuck in her head and made her stomach turn with hurt and anger.
"Angel."
Pulling the car back onto the interstate, she slammed her foot down on the gas. If Angel had Spike, there was no telling what would happen to him. Her wrists ached and her ankles hurt as she willed the car to go faster. She wasn't sure what she was feeling but it didn't feel like physical pain, it felt like an echo of pain. Spike's pain.
She continued in silence as she passed sign after sign by the roadside, each one counting down the miles to LA. The sun was creeping high into the sky by the time she caught sight of it in the distance, the low lying buildings around its outskirts slowly growing in stature until they leapt up to the skyscrapers of downtown. Her body compass was still leading her but now she was ignoring it, she knew where to find Angel and that meant she knew where to find Spike.
As she entered the boundary of the city, she felt the feeling inside her intensify. The desire to find Spike seemed to be spiralling out of control and she now felt it was verging on desperation.
Ramping the SUV up onto the curb outside the hotel, she grabbed the keys and slammed the door as she hit the pavement running. She barged through the entrance and took the steps two at a time until she reached the first floor.
She stopped.
The feeling in her stomach seemed to be quieter and she knew she was heading in the wrong direction.
Backtracking down the stairs, she ran to the end of the hall and pushed against the large heavy door as she tried the handle. It was locked. She pressed her palms against it and closed her eyes as she tried to reach out and see if he was there.
A stab of pain in her stomach said he was and that was all she needed to drive her to a decision. Moving back a few steps, she shouldered the door hard and heard it creak, the metal straining against her as she struggled to break it down. Another attack on the door and the wooden frame surrounding it splintered and broke causing the door to fall open.
Buffy held her shoulder and gave the door a dark look as she passed by.
Moving slowly down the steps into the darkness, she fumbled for a light switch as her hands ran along the wall. When she succeeded in locating it, she flicked it on. Her eyes stung as the light bulb burst into life above her and illuminated the room in a sickly white light.
"Spike?" Buffy let her senses guide her as she walked into the basement. A scratching noise in the corner drew her attention and she blinked.
He was curled up, chains fettering his ankles and wrists. She could smell the acrid scent of blood hanging heavy in the air and could see the patches of it staining the floor.
He growled.
Buffy found herself making a quiet noise that seemed to soothe him and she felt like she was cooing to a baby, or an animal.
Kneeling down next to him, she lowered her head until she could see his face. It was a mess of cuts and bruises. She reached her hand around and cupped his cheek lightly, drawing his head up so she could see the wounds more clearly. His eye was swollen, his lip split and an angry gash streaked across his temple and his forehead.
She cooed as she brushed her fingers against his skin, letting them warm him and hoping he would know it was her. As a purr rumbled through his chest, she furrowed her brows, struggling against the overwhelming desire to cry as she remembered what her mother had told her about cats and how they purred when happy or when hurt.
He was hurt.
Badly.
His clothes were torn, lacerations were visible through the holes in them and her senses were full of blood-his blood. He whimpered as she touched his chest and she felt the pain echo in hers.
"Spike…" Buffy whispered and smoothed his hair as he finally opened his eyes and looked into hers, they were large and full of hurt. "…I'm getting you out of here."
Grabbing hold of the chains that tied him to the wall, she tugged on them, pulling with all her might until she finally slumped forwards-tired from the effort.
"I can't…" She let the tears slip onto her cheeks as she hung her head in resignation. "They're too strong."
Feeling something shaky touching her, she opened her eyes to see Spike's hand resting on hers, his fingers grasping it tightly as she cried. She blinked, remembering what she'd been through and feeling angry that he was going through something so similar. Looking up into his eyes, she found the strength she needed as he tried to smile through the pain.
Buffy knit her brows and stood up, grabbing hold of the chain in both of her hands and pressing her foot against the wall it was attached to. She grunted with effort as she pulled on the chain, her muscles bunching tightly as she leant backwards and ignored the pain ripping through her. She couldn't leave him tied up. She had to get him free and get him away from this place.
As the chain broke free of the wall, she gave herself a moment to catch her breath before starting on the next one.
Buffy looked down at the chains and then at Spike. She'd accomplished getting him free but she didn't know how to move him. She could see his injuries were severe and whatever Angel had done to him, it had been bad enough to drive him into an almost feral state of mind. Bending over, she caught hold of him under his arms and tried to help him to his feet. He wobbled and collapsed to the floor with her. He was too exhausted to move.
Holding him tightly, she felt him weakly nuzzle her neck and she found herself drawing her hair aside so he could get closer to her. He growled quietly as she steadied him in her arms and guided his lips to her neck, willing to do anything to make him strong again so she could get him away from LA. Her heart pounded in her ears and it felt like it was trying to break free of her chest. Screwing her eyes shut, she cringed as his sharp teeth penetrated her skin, causing a stab of pain to arc along her nerves. She opened her eyes wide and gasped as he pulled on her blood, his arms slowly encircling her back as he tried to get closer to her. The feeling inside her was delicious. She felt almost delirious as he drank from her, and it was clear she was experiencing both his and her feelings at the same time. She could feel new energy coursing through her as his fingers dug into her flesh, his mouth latching on greedily to her neck as he sunk his teeth in deeper.
Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall backwards.
Her breathing became laboured as she gave herself over to the feeling of delirium spreading through her.
The sensation of Spike's fingers digging into her waist harder bought her back to reality and she gently pushed him backwards, intimating that it was time for him to stop. Her body trembled as he licked up her neck and nuzzled just below her ear with his nose.
"Little at a time." Buffy whispered and ran her fingers through his hair.
Spike pulled back and blinked at her as she smiled concernedly at him. She could sense he was still weak, but the Slayer enhanced blood flowing through his veins would soon start to help him heal, and that gave her a small comfort.
A noise from up above them caused her to freeze. She frowned as she looked up at the light in the doorway and saw shadowy shapes moving across it, voices drifting down to her.
"What the hell happened to the door?"
Angel.
Buffy let out a low growling noise as she looked from the stairs to Spike, his body bloodied and beaten, bones broken and bruised.
Standing up she pulled the stake out of her waistband and looked down at Spike. He raised his eyes slowly to look into hers and she furrowed her brows at seeing them so dull and lifeless.
Grasping the stake firmly in her hand, she took a deep breath.
"Buffy?" A voice came from behind her and she turned slowly, her hair covering her eyes as she looked up at Angel.
She growled.
"Oh my god, Buffy?" Cordelia stepped out from behind Angel and raised her brows.
Angel's eyes leapt from her face to the stake and then down to Spike.
Spike growled.
"Buffy?" Angel took a step towards her.
"Angel, no!" Giles' out of breath voice rang down from up above them.
"Giles?" Angel looked confused as he moved his eyes from Buffy up to Giles.
Buffy flexed her fingers around the stake as she kept her eyes fixed on Angel.
"Don't go near her. Let her go, Angel…" Giles walked down the stairs, his eyes locked on Angel the whole time. When he reached him, he moved his gaze to rest on Buffy. Her knuckles were white from the force with which she was grasping the stake in her fist.
"Giles? What the hell is happening?" Angel gave him a confused look as he put his arm out in front of him and forced him to step away from Buffy.
They watched her as she turned around and lifted Spike up, hooking his arm around her shoulders as she made him stand. Buffy gripped her stake tight in her other hand, her eyes cold as she stared at the people in the room and started towards the stairs.
"She'll kill you if you try to stop her…she doesn't recognise us for who we really are…let her go."
"Doesn't what? Why?" Angel watched her as she slowly walked past, her eyes never leaving them as she led Spike to the stairs. He swore her neck was wounded and the feeling in his stomach made his head spin with confusion-it was as though there was a strong connection he could feel between them.
"There's no easy way to say this…she's protecting her mate and she clearly presumes you did this to him."
"Spike? I'm a little confused…Spike and Buffy? How, why?" Angel looked sickened as Buffy paused and looked around at him.
"We don't know the particulars, she was missing for almost two weeks and we believe something happened to her during her absence and then this. She left Sunnydale this morning, seemingly in a lot of pain, she stole her mothers car and came straight here."
"Buffy?" Angel stepped towards her again as she reached the bottom step of the stairs that led out of the basement. She gave him a cold look and he tried to push away the pain that seeing her so close to Spike made him feel. "We didn't do this to him…we found him like this. There's a gang roaming the city that say they are delivering punishment to demons, that they are causing them the pain they cause others. Vigilantes did this, Buffy…we had to lock him down here for his own safety-so he didn't hurt us, or anyone. He would've got himself killed out there."
Buffy just stared hard at him and frowned.
"I'm afraid Spike's reversion to a feral state may be causing Buffy to revert to one too."
"It's strong…I can feel it. The bond between them. She can feel it all, Giles…everything he's experiencing." Angel watched her slowly aiding Spike up the stairs, dragging the chains still bound to him along behind them.
Giles made a mental note to research heavily into the effects of claims-Angel had piqued his interest with his new information about Buffy being able to feel what Spike was.
"We'll follow her home, make sure she gets there safe. Once Spike starts healing mentally and comes out of his animal state then she'll go back to being Buffy again. We'll call if we need anything." Giles waited until Buffy reached the top step before following her.
"Giles." Angel caught hold of his arm and stopped him. "She'll need these."
Giles looked down at the small metal keys in his hands.
"Don't let him hurt her."
Giles put his hand over Angels and smiled. "Would never let it happen and I don't think she would either."
