thanks for the reviews! they're a great encouragement and help. well, here's chapter 3-hope it flows well. this chapter brings up more of Mirran's past.
and just for clarification:
the 'italics in quotes' are character's thoughts
the 'bold-italics in quotes' are words Mirran remembers her father saying
the 'bold in quotes' is something newly introduced in this chapter. and i could say i'll tell you now what it is...but it gets explained in a later chapter. (its nothing too important though) but if it really throws you for a loop, i'll go ahead and say what it means-just let me know.

anywho...chapter 3.

oh, i should have mentioned earlier-this story takes place 6 years before the events in the movie.

Disclaimers still apply. Nothing King Arthur related is mine, nor are lines from the film and other films songs that might be recognized.

Chapter 3: Learning More

The sun rose the next morning, spreading out its warm and bright light most unusually for a winter's morn. But Mirran had gladly welcomed its warmth as she kneeled by the lake, washing clothes in the numbing, cold water. And even more so now as she walked back towards the fort, watching people till the earth, soldiers stand at ease at their posts, women still washing, and people coming and going. She sighed and turned her head facing forward, surprise and excitement instantly filling her eyes. Tristan's eyes found hers and his walk towards the woods was momentarily forgotten. He swiftly nodded at her and she couldn't tell if a smile graced his face or not.

"Good day Tristan," she said smiling warmly, "are you alright?" She heard herself asking, much to her own surprise. He stopped and looked somewhat curiously at her.

"Should I not be asking you?" He asked her as her eyes filled with confusion. "You spoke with anger in your voice, last we spoke."

"True I did," she quickly admitted, a serious tone to her voice, "but really its nothing." She turned her eyes from his.

"You should tell someone. You'll find anger easier to deal with that way." He said surprising himself and Mirran.

"There is no one I could tell who would not betray me."

"You need fear no betrayal here if your intentions are noble." Her eyes found his again as they seemed to search her for the answer to his question. But he found she was not as readable as he thought, for he could only detect pain and longing, but nothing related to a cause, even though his curiosity was growing.

"And what of you?" She suddenly asked, quickly turning the conversation away from her, "you spoke with anger as well."

"We all do—"

"How come?" He looked intently back at her as the sound of the wind ruffling clothes was the only sound to be heard.

"Perhaps later." He said, inwardly hoping, much to his own surprise, that there would be a later, and a chance for them to talk some more. No matter what he had said to her, she never once shrank away, intimidated by him as several other women had done—and that alone made her intriguing. He watched a small, almost hopeful cross her thin face.

"Perhaps later." She agreed, slowly nodding her head. He nodded once in her direction before tearing his eyes from hers and continuing towards the woods. She watched him go for a minute, oddly excited and apprehensive about her future, before turning back towards the fort, sighing softly, feeling the winter breeze across her cheeks. 'With a sigh you turn away…but your feet are already on a new path…mind your steps and treasure each one.' Hearing what was to be heard, she continued her walk back towards the fort, well aware of the new course her life was on and not regretting it for an instant.

"Lady Mirran!" She turned and saw Berkan approaching her on horseback. Swiftly and effortlessly, he leapt off and walked beside her, reins in hand. 'Wow…he made that look so easy and smooth…' a voice in her head whispered.

"Yes Berkan," she said, smiling welcomingly, "can I do something for you?" She asked, slightly unnerved by his intense, questioning eyes.

"Mirran…I knew I heard your name before last night," instantly she stiffened, hoping he couldn't tell, "in stories…well, rumors really. Rumors only because no one knows if they're true or not. Merlin does live rather secretly, doesn't he?" He asked, pausing to gauge her reaction. Her alert, shocked eyes and falling smile told him all he needed to know. "The rumor goes something like this: Merlin had a lover whom he desperately loved. That was until she told him she was with child. He let her live only long enough to birth the child, before killing her mercilessly. The child, a daughter, he couldn't dispose of so easily since it was after all part of his blood. So, instead of directly killing her, he abandoned her at such a young age, knowing she couldn't possibly survive…but she did. And that is why some believe Woads keep crossing the wall. They hunt for the child who possess dark magic that kept her alive—a magic so unthinkable and evil, that not even a religion could save her from hell," she knew this rumor all too well, "and the name of this ill fated child demon is Mirr—"

"You would believe it true wouldn't you?" She snapped, pulling out a small wooden cross with a small sapphire gem in the middle, and reining in every instinct the attack him. "I know well the religions of Christianity and Paganism, and while Christianity has its merits, it is almost too self-righteous for me, yet Paganism is more to my liking. Believe what you will about me—I am only a mere mortal, nothing more. I admit to nothing—"

"Haven't you just admitted it? Or else why would you care so much what rumors say…and defend yourself so adamantly?" He asked, knowing the deep pain in her eyes and the seething anger that radiated from her clenched fists stemmed from the truth. "I know Merlin of the Woads is your father. I've known ever since last night." He said somewhat triumphantly watching shock fill her eyes.

"The rumors are just that. Nothing more." She turned from him, fighting down her anger. 'Curse you father for continuing to haunt my life—' a hand wrapped around her wrist, turning her around.

"Then why are you here?" Berkan calmly asked, searching her eyes. She couldn't tell him…it would be the same as telling the whole truth. Quickly she thought up a lie—she had no other way.

"I came here to…"

"There is only one reason you're here—you're here to spy on us, weave your magic spells around us, so when the Woads find you, you'll use us as your protection or trade our secrets for your life." Somewhere inside she felt like laughing. If it weren't for the fifteen years of pain riding on his words, it would have been amusing for that was quite a theory. "Tell me the truth…and your secret will stay safe. I swear it."

"The truth might be more worth telling then the lie." She said, hoping to get out of doing so.

"Either way, you're Merlin's daughter—that much I know to be true—see, your eyes widen at that statement every time. So the only thing in question is where your allegiance lies. I will not let you be a silent, deadly threat to us." Genuinely she thought he meant his words, but there was some mischievous glint to his eyes she just couldn't trust.

"Tell me Berkan, if my allegiance was to Merlin—or I had plans to buy my life from him—then how would I know of you all? We're the same age—you all were not even in Britian when my father left me—so how could I know he is curious of you?" She asked wisely, an enigmatic edge to her voice.

"Have you not heard the stories—"

"No need. I know the truth." She spat coldly.

"He's a wizard with foresight. He knew we would be along in the coming years so he poisoned you against us. Yet here you are."

"Here I am."

"So why are you here?"

"Like you, all I know are rumors. Arthur and his famous knights. I wished to put some rumors to rest and see for myself the true validity or evilness of your actions. Why else would I be here?" He smirked knowingly at her, shaking his head quickly.

"Smooth answer…very smooth." He backed away from her towards his horse as panic seized her.

"Berkan…!" She called out anxiously, walking over towards him.

"Your secrets are safe Mirran. You can trust me." He smirked slyly, before kicking his horse in a canter towards the fort. 'Oh damn it!' He knew more than she was ever going to admit he did. Parts of those rumors had been dead on, but the rest was mere rubbish. Panic gripped her mind as she knew that by tonight her secret would be spread far and wide. 'And damn him!' She honestly couldn't say she trusted him and that last smirk of his still hung in her mind, only increasing her doubt. Resigning herself towards packing and getting ready to run, she continued towards the fort, fighting to inwardly calm her burning anger at Berkan's harshly told story, yet finding it reducing only to smoldering embers.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So far no one seemed to know anything more. Maybe Berkan had kept his word… 'or else is just waiting for the opportune moment,' she thought angrily.

"Rumor has it Merlin sent more Woads over the wall today." Mirran's ears perked and the smoldering embers leapt to life at Galahad's words as she brushed past to serve another table.

"I was on watch for a short while," Gawain said, "there is evidence supporting it."

"Perfect. So Merlin carefully sends his men over, slowly surrounding us, cutting off our escape routes and we do nothing but sit here and wait!" Grenham said, a bit louder than the other knights would have liked.

"Grenham!" Dedric said scolding, "do not alert the whole fort, for that would only further Merlin's evil cause." 'Evil cause…,' Mirran felt like screaming. She knew what her father fought for, and it was far from being evil. Yet, there was darkness about him, for how could he hate his own daughter so?

"If panic seized this fort, then Merlin's Woads would move to strike, sparing no one." Marvlin said darkly.

"You make them sound like Saxons—" Dedric started.

"The Saxons only claim what they kill." Lancelot said quietly.

"And they only kill everything." Gawain added.

"The Woads would too in their situation—anything Roman is to be destroyed, and everything in this fort is Roman." Marvlin continued.

"Merlin…what a man…" Gawain mused quietly.

"Would most likely kill you in your sleep and not think twice about it if given the opportunity." Grenham said.

"Heartless man." Dedric agreed as Mirran brushed past, feeling familiar emotions tugging at her heart. Even though she knew what her father was striving to achieve, she felt he was going about it the wrong way and knew it not to be purely evil as everyone here believed. Yet, she knew all about his heartlessness, for abandoning her so at the young age of six required him to have no heart! But still, how could this heartless, "evil" man be her father…her own father! She set down the tray and suddenly left the pub, not wanting to hear anymore talk or anything.

Immediately she fled towards the stables, wanting to go for a ride to let go her frustration and clear her mind. She burst through the stable doors, resisting the urge to kick them shut. She walked determinedly to her horse's stall, believing she was alone and let out a frustrated cry. Her hands rested against her forehand and her eyes sank shut as she sighed deeply.

"Damn it all." She muttered resolutely. 'Berkan worrying me out of my mind, my father still pulling me in two,' her mind raced as she set about preparing her horse for a ride. A dark figure passed swiftly in front of her horses' stall. Her head shot up.

"Who's there?" She called out, a tentative yet firm edge to her voice.

"You wish to be alone and I will leave you as such." Tristan's soft voice came from the other side of the stall.

"Do not go if you don't wish to—I don't mind." She replied, trying to sound noncommittal about his decision, yet partly wanting him to stay. His dark, calm face came into view as he stood against the wall, gazing knowingly at her.

"You're angry again." He commented, a caring tone to his soft voice, noticing he roughness of her actions.

"No shit," she quickly spat back before regretting it as she watched surprise and maybe even some hurt cross his eyes, "I should not have said that," she quickly said, lowering her head in shame, "you asked a caring question because you're concerned and I should not have been so vulgar. That is not how I wish you to think of me—" She stopped short, feeling embarrassment redden her cheeks. A silence fell and slowly she raised her eyes, daring not to look at him, but finding that's where her gaze involuntarily fell. The look in his eyes was that of affection, a willingness and maybe even longing—or was that what she was wanting to see? She didn't know honestly what he thought or what he felt, and that unnerved her.

"I do not think of you that way." His voice held its usual indifference though she thought she saw his eyes lighten in the dimness of the stables.

"Well…I am glad." She said brusquely before swiftly turning back to getting her horse ready for a ride. Was she avoiding him now? Was her anger towards him? No sense in skirting around it….

"Have I done something to offend you?" He asked, a calm curious anger in his voice. With wide eyes, she turned and faced him for but a second as she shook her head quickly 'no.' "Then why is it every time we speak you are angry?" She stopped and looked at him questioningly, knowing she couldn't answer. Did he actually care? Could he actually care?

"Don't ask—you think that because you speak with me and I think you care that I'll just open like a book and reveal my inner thoughts and past to you—" Suddenly it hit her—her conversation with Berkan—the rumors! 'He must have told Tristan…and now he wants to hear me admit to it!' "No, no…you couldn't be asking if you don't already know. You think you know…but I am not going to say anything!" She said resolutely, accusingly, watching controlled anger rise in his eyes.

"I do not know what you claim I know—I see a woman who only thinks she is fearless, and whose heart is wrapped so tight in anger that it seems she's forgotten she has a heart."

"And I see a man who lives for blood without a heart thinking he can crack into mine!"

"You're reflecting your anger on me…I'm the nearest target." He said.

"You are not! How dare you think that—"

"Then what has you so angry?" He pressed farther.

"What do you care!"

"Why?"

"Because of my father!" She suddenly yelled, her breaking point reached. "Because of my accursed father! Merlin left me for rot at the age of six—hated me and abandoned me for reasons I can only guess! And everywhere I go, I am haunted by whispers and talks of his name—rumors that he's a cold, heartless, demon bent on destroying all the known world. My own father! …shit." Her hands flew to her face and she rested her head against the horse's side, realizing what all she'd said. An overwhelming urge to wrap his arms tenderly around her overcame him. And yet he remained still, still absorbing all that she unintentionally revealed, while his heart longed to make her pain go away.

So this strong, captivating, woman had quite a weakness that consumed her. She raised her head. He expected a look of tear-streaked anger, but instead met with a look riddled in shame, embarrassment and silent pleading. "I can't expect you to understand…what do you know of what I speak? All you most likely care of is the fact that now you know who I am—someone with a tie to the deadly Woads, someone deserving to be ousted from a Roman outpost."

"I know more than you give me credit," he quickly, sharply said, "I too was ousted from my home—directly by the Roman Empire, indirectly by my own father. We all were. You asked of the anger that night as I did of yours—haphazardly you've told me, and now I've told you. I owe you nothing, you owe me nothing." She bit her lip and shook her head, walking away from the stall and brushing past him, but not quickly enough. He grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her back, unintentionally bringing them within inches of each other.

"Going to drag me Arthur now, are you?" She angrily asked, glaring icily at him as she saw the anger return to his dark brown eyes, belying his heart which filled with surprise and some hurt.

"Your father left you, as you said, so why should he or we care if you are here? And while you pose some threat, it is quite obvious you bear him no allegiance whatsoever, not even in your heart." She desperately tried to wrench free of his grasp, not liking the cold, hard truth in his voice, but his grip was too strong. She brought her other hand up to hit him, trying to free her other hand. But before she knew it, he grabbed her other hand and brought it back down to her side, his hand unintentionally grazing the contour of her hipbone, making her breath catch in her throat.

"I told you once you need fear no betrayal…and I will keep my word." He finished quickly and softly, a hint of emotion in his voice, surprising her. He quickly released her and walked away, leaving her alone. Never had she felt so utterly confused, relieved, apprehensive in her whole life. What did this do? 'Is everything now changed?' She sighed deeply and left the stables, no longer wanting the peace of quiet of a ride to think, but the noise and rowdiness of the pub to avoid thinking altogether.


hope it wasn't too out there and that it makes sense. if it doesn't and i've lost something somewhere (highly possible) then let me know and i'll clear it up. review if'n ya want! next chapter should be up soon. thanks again for the previous reviews!