NOTE: Speech in italics between Buffy and Spike is telepathy.
Buffy flinched as the van jolted over a pothole and almost caused her to fall from where she was precariously balanced in the back of it on one of the low benches that ran along its sides. Spike raised his head up where he was sitting opposite her and growled.
"Bloody hell, keep an eye on wolf boy's driving up there, would you, Red?" He scowled towards the front of the van before lowering his head again and staring at his hands.
Willow looked back at Buffy and Spike from her comfortable perch in between Giles and Oz on the front seat. "Sorry."
Turning her head back towards the windscreen, she muttered. "Cranky vampire."
"Hey…" Spike hollered at her in an indignant tone. "I heard that."
Buffy suddenly found his eyes on hers for the first time since he'd bitten her after they'd found the Gem. They hadn't spoken since then, she'd fallen silent on the walk home and he'd avoided meeting her eyes at all costs. She toyed nervously with the axe in her lap. She didn't know why she'd brought it with her; it was for comfort she supposed-it wasn't like she could kill the people responsible for hurting Spike and kidnapping Angel.
Looking into the deep blue depths of the eyes that were firmly locked on hers, she realised that she couldn't let Spike kill them either. She could see in his eyes that he wanted revenge. He was itching for the fight even more than she was and she couldn't blame him. If someone had hurt her that badly she would have been out for a little vengeance, too. She surmised that she also was-in a way. She was dealing out payback on the gang that had assaulted her mate and taken her former lover.
Spike let his brows knit as his eyes moved to rest on her throat. The deep bite marks that adorned it were rapidly bruising and by the time they arrived in Los Angeles, they would be almost black. He felt his stomach tighten up and looked away, letting his eyes roam anywhere but where he'd bitten her.
Buffy reached out and tried to grasp how he was feeling. She could sense complete disharmony in him. His feelings were chaotic underneath his supposedly calm exterior, but in amongst them she could sense guilt and anger at himself. She'd wanted an apology from him for what he'd done to her but now she didn't need him to verbally say one to her, he had done it emotionally instead.
She placed her axe down on the low, bench like shelf she was sitting on and fixed her eyes on him. He was staring down at his hands again, picking at his nail varnish and making it more chipped than it was before.
Buffy reached out and was surprised to find that it had become more instinctive to her, she didn't feel the need to concentrate in order to talk telepathically anymore.
"Spike."
She watched his fingers freeze.
"Don't ignore me."
He raised his head up slowly and looked into her eyes. She frowned on seeing them so full of sorrow.
"Better. Are we good?" She let her brows relax as he nodded slowly.
"We're always good, love." He smiled briefly at her.
"I hate this feeling."
Spike arched his brows and cocked his head to one side, wondering if she was talking about the air of discomfort between them. "What feeling?"
"The build up to the fight. I don't like it when I have time beforehand to think about it…you were always the worst for that…"
His brows rose. "I was?"
"Don't give me the innocent look. I remember the night I met you…in the alley. You gave me the date of our next meeting and stated flatly you were gonna kill me…I had days to sit and wonder…of course, Giles didn't help with his stupid books and research, telling me how you killed Slayers…"
Spike shrugged.
"Think it wasn't murder for me to have to wait that long? Hell, you were there…I couldn't wait. Had to bloody see you…fight you…just do anything to be…"
Buffy frowned as he cut himself off. "To be what?"
"It doesn't matter…it's nothing."
She shook her head. "Nu huh…you're not getting away with letting that hang there…it's going to ruin my concentration if I'm thinking about that all through the fight."
Spike surrendered and moved to sit next to her. She turned slightly to face him and smiled as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I couldn't get you out of my head. I still can't. Drusilla saw straight through me. I was blind. I would've done anything to get close to you…I still would."
Buffy placed her hand into his and squeezed it. "You are close to me. You're the one with the magical Buffy insight…can't you see that? You told me that I don't let people get close to me, you're close to me Spike…sometimes a little too close."
He dropped his eyes to her neck and stared blankly at the marks. She was right, she had let him get close to her and he'd bitten her for it. He'd taken the trust she'd shown him and used it against her in a fit of petty jealousy. He brushed the pads of his fingers over the wound and then looked up into her eyes.
Buffy frowned on seeing his eyes so full of sadness. Letting go of his hand, she cupped his cheek and drew him towards her.
"It's fine. I know why you did it. You don't need to explain anything to me."
She leant closer to him and felt her breathing hitch in her throat as her lips neared his.
"Everything alright back there?" Giles turned to see Buffy shooting away from Spike with an awkward smile on her face.
Spike growled.
"All good." Buffy grinned and then moved her eyes back to Spike's as Giles turned around again.
Spike stared at her. He couldn't quite believe that she had been about to kiss him and now that moment had passed, flitted away and left his lips aching for her touch. He shifted closer to her and watched her cheeks turn rosy as her eyes dropped to rest on her knees.
Placing two fingers under her chin, he slowly raised her head up and let his gaze settle on her lips, their shiny redness luring him in. He stopped breathing as she closed her eyes, her head tilting back slightly in invitation. Since kissing her thighs while healing her wounds, he'd been dreaming about kissing her lips, wanting to explore them with his own and feel how soft they were.
He listened to her heart as it pounded against her chest, her blood rushing through her veins and her breathing becoming heavy.
It was all too sweet, too perfect.
Sitting in the back of a dark van with three of her friends not two metres from him, and her willing to let him kiss her. Him. Kiss her. This girl that had played on his mind from the moment he'd seen her; this woman that had teased him without ever knowing it. She had slipped through his grasp innumerable times and now she was openly submitting to him.
Taking a long deep breath, he zeroed in on her mouth and moved towards her slowly. He rolled his eyes closed as his lips touched hers.
Buffy furrowed her brows as a sweep of tingles raced through her body, shivering down her spine and making her insides heat through. The feeling of his lips brushing gently against hers was incredible. They were soft and tender with their kiss. She felt like she was nothing more than a girl again and experiencing her first, her stomach swirling with nerves and her heart beating sickeningly hard against her chest.
Spike sighed out through his nose as he pulled away. He felt floored. Unable to think clearly-unable to think at all. All he could concentrate on was the feeling buzzing inside of him, and the desperate need to kiss her again-to taste her sweetness and her innocence.
He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her. She was sitting with her hands in her lap, her eyes closed and her lips parted slightly.
She was an angel.
She was beautiful.
She was his.
Opening her eyes on feeling him so warm and affectionate towards her, Buffy blushed as she smiled shyly. She slipped her fingers into his and let her head come to rest against his shoulder as they journeyed on towards Los Angeles.
Los Angeles.
Those two words made her body ache with conflict and she held Spike's hand a little tighter, watching his thumb caressing hers idly like he'd done when they were in the his old lair. She realised it was because he could sense her nerves and apprehension and was wordlessly trying to soothe her.
"Almost there, Buffy." Willow called back at her from the front of the van.
Buffy frowned as the side door of the van slid open, revealing an early evening lit side street of LA to them. Spike let go of her hand and she looked at it. It felt strangely cold without his holding it firmly. Picking up her axe, she hopped down from the van and stretched as she gazed up at the building Angel ran his business from.
Cordelia was pacing nervously on the steps.
Spike stepped out of the van with an unimpressed look on his face and then frowning as he looked up at the evening sky with a distrusting air. Buffy could see he clearly wasn't happy about being back in LA.
Cordelia's eyes widened in alarm on seeing Spike and her nervous pacing grew more rapid. She wrapped her arms tight around herself and gave him furtive looks as he and Buffy walked towards her, closely followed by the rest of the gang.
"Cordy." Buffy said calmly and ignored the way she was reacting to Spike's presence. "Let's go indoors."
As she stepped into the building, Buffy couldn't help reaching out to Spike and sensing how he was feeling. He was full of anger the moment he crossed the threshold, the sight of the basement door clearly a painful reminder of what happened the last time he was here. Buffy turned her head slightly and caught his eye as she gave him a small reassuring smile.
"This won't take long." She said quietly and then followed Cordelia up the stairs to the first floor.
Settled around the table in Angel's office, Buffy remained near Spike as Cordelia desperately tried to get things in order. Buffy could see that she was nervous, and it wasn't just about Spike. She was getting the feeling that the brunette was nervous about herself being there, that Cordelia's concern for Angel was more than just that of a friend.
"We need all the information you have on what happened to Angel and what the vigilantes have been up to; if there have been any sightings in specific locations, I need to know about them. I know Angel was looking into this gang, so he'll have the file somewhere. Time is important, Cordy. The quicker you give us what we need the quicker we can get moving."
"We?" Cordelia looked stunned. "Don't tell me he's going with you? I mean it's one thing to bring him back here, but to take him with you to find Ang…"
"Listen…I don't have time for this…" Buffy ground out from between clenched teeth and then took a breath to steady herself. "I'm going to find Angel but I need Spike with me in order to do it…I don't see you volunteering to come along as back up and I don't think you quite have the senses for tracking…so do what I asked you to and make it snappy."
Spike frowned as Cordelia looked at him and then hurried out of the room muttering to herself.
Buffy tried to ignore the way her friends were looking at her. She knew it was wrong of her to shout at Cordelia at a time like this, but she didn't need another person questioning her liaison with Spike or her reasons for having him with her. She glanced over at him and felt her stomach heat up like a volcano as he gave her a crooked smile.
Casting a glance around the room at her friends, she couldn't help noticing the way their eyes continually worked their way from her back to Spike. She couldn't blame them for being on edge around him. He'd joked enough times about eating them and she'd seen the look in his eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. To him they were all fair game. The only one he hadn't looked at in that calculating way was her mother. She knew the only thing stopping him from killing them all right this minute was the fact she'd told him not to and that seemed good enough-for now at least.
Buffy walked over to them and sensed Spike's disapproval at her leaving his side. She ignored the desire to go back to him and continued towards her friends.
"Hey, Will." She spoke quietly and frowned slightly as Spike started pacing the room. Willow's eyes followed his every move. "He won't hurt you, I promise…I know that you're all probably thinking I'm crazy, but I swear to you he won't try anything."
Willow didn't look convinced.
Buffy looked over her shoulder at Spike and widened her eyes slightly to intimate that he wasn't helping. He stopped dead and narrowed his eyes on hers before dropping them to rest on her lips.
She subconsciously licked them.
Tearing her eyes away from him, she turned back to Willow, Giles and Oz.
"Please…trust me, guys. I can't explain what happened but…it's deep…the connection runs deep between us…I can't ignore it, and it certainly isn't just going to go away…" Buffy saw that Willow was starting to cave and looked over her shoulder to Spike. "Come over for a second?"
Spike paused for a moment, as if he was considering her request carefully, and then moved towards her. When he reached her, he stared straight at her neck. Buffy sighed as she realised he wasn't going to make things easy for her.
She ducked her head and caught his eye. "Spike…don't be an ass…just, these are my friends, I'm not going to lose them because they think you're going to make a snack out of them…please?"
The sound of her pleading with him was enough to make him reconsider his actions and think about doing what she asked. He knew she rarely pleaded with anyone and for her to do so to him must have taken a lot, even with the bond.
Spike let his eyes move across to her lips again. He felt like they were singing a siren song to him; now that he'd tasted her a little he only craved it more. If he kept giving her friends the 'I'm going to eat you' looks, he'd never get to kiss her again.
"Fine…" He watched her lips twitch into a smile and licked his own. "On one condition."
"Name it." Buffy didn't hesitate.
Spike just stared at her mouth and heard her heart beat harder as her teeth worried her lower lip.
"Spike…I…in the van…I…" She furrowed her brows and realised that she couldn't say 'no'.
She had no excuse ready.
Nothing came to mind.
Because she wanted to kiss him again as badly as he wanted to kiss her.
She could feel Willow, Oz and Giles staring at her as her eyes remained locked with Spike's. Her hands trembled and she clasped them together to try and stop them. Her mouth seemed drier than the Sahara.
Her heart raced.
Palms sweated.
Anticipation.
It was killing her.
Spike took a step towards her and saw her back away. He continued stalking her in the same manner until she bumped into the desk and couldn't escape him. He grinned down at her.
Buffy felt her knees buckle.
Swallowing hard, she found her eyes falling to rest on his mouth, the full lower lip begging her to kiss it, to lick it and nip at it.
Spike smirked as he tilted his head to one side, listening to all the hallmarks of arousal as they took over her body. He leaned in close to her neck and inhaled the tempting fragrance of her blood.
Buffy closed her eyes and gripped the edge of the desk tightly as she waited for him to make his move. She willed her heartbeat to slow down so her head stopped feeling like it was spinning. Her stomach ached with anticipation.
Suddenly the feeling of him drifted away. She couldn't sense his body next to hers or feel his cool breath against her neck. Opening her eyes, she found her friends all staring at her and Spike was nowhere to be seen.
"Son of a…" Buffy grumbled and looked towards the doorway, feeling more than a little stupid over being so enthralled by him in front of her friends.
She went to move to find him but Willow caught her arm.
"Buffy. You okay?"
Buffy smiled at the first show of genuine concern she'd received from her friends in what seemed like a long time. "I will be once I get hold of that tricky little bastard."
"Buffy…" Willow released her arms and looked over her shoulder at Giles for reassurance. "…We trust you…it's just, free range vampire with a history of trying to kill us all? It's going to take a little getting used to."
Buffy sighed out her relief and touched Willow's arm. "Thanks…it's taking a lot for me to get used to him, too, and I'm the one who claimed him. Could my life get any crazier?"
The sound of swearing and screaming in the other room made her cringe. She could hear Cordelia screeching and Spike growling obscenities, and then something that sounded like glass shattering. Running to the door of the office, she grasped hold of the doorframe and stared wide eyed at them.
"What the hell is going on here?" She shouted and watched them both pause mid-swing.
She couldn't believe the mess as she looked around the room, vases and lamps had been smashed and pieces of paper littered the floor. Just how could one vampire and a girl make so much damage in such a short amount of time?
Buffy realised that the answer to that would be something verging on easy if the vampire was Spike and she was the girl. They had always managed to cause a mass amount of destruction with their fights.
"She started it." Spike pointed at Cordelia, a lit cigarette bobbing up and down on his lips.
Buffy was bought sharply back to reality.
"He's smoking…" Cordelia whined at Buffy and she wondered if her voice could reach a higher pitch without it leaving even her hearing scale. "I told him not to…told him I'd kick his skinny white behind if he lit that thing up…does he listen? Rude vampire."
"Stupid bint." Spike growled at her and blew cigarette smoke into her face with a malevolent grin.
"Oh, that is it…" Cordelia swung hard and grunted with effort.
Spike caught hold of her fist in a casual manner, his expression turning bored.
"Spike…" Buffy set her sights on him. Her eyes narrowed and she tensed her jaw up as she walked towards him. "Let her go and put out that damn cigarette."
Spike just arched his brow, both the cigarette and his grip on Cordelia's hand remaining firmly in place.
"Spike, I'm not going to ask you again." She stood next to him and put her hands on her hips.
Spike leaned his head back so he was looking down at her, his eyes narrowing in a show of defiance.
"Right." Buffy went to punch him but found that the hand he'd been holding Cordelia's with was quickly wrapped around her own.
She gasped as he twisted her around so she was leaning over backwards and then rolled her eyes closed as his lips descended upon hers. Her whole body went lax under the subtle pressure of his kiss, his large hands holding her steady and his body as close to hers as possible. As he pulled away, she just stared into his eyes. She was too shocked to do anything else or to make sense of her situation. All she could focus on was Spike, his fingers as they held her waist and supported her back, his eyes as they searched hers and his mouth as he smiled at her.
Her lips played into a serene smile and she brushed her fingers lightly against his forearm.
Spike blinked at her languidly. "You're beautiful."
Buffy's cheeks burned up.
Giles coughed.
