A/N: Hey everyone! Like I said in the author's note in the last chapter, this one's in Harry's perspective. Yes, there is angst involved.

Side note: Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" and The Exies' "Ugly" are very good songs. I particularly like the part in "Ugly" that goes:

"I don't care, you don't care; I'm bitter, you're angry

I don't care, you don't care; you love you, just like me

I blame you, you blame me"

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be using those lyrics in another one of my stories. Anyway, here's chapter twenty. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The lyrics... and music, for that matter... to "Gone Away" are entirely The Offspring's, and "Creep" is all Radiohead's.

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Chapter Twenty

"You're right; I can never lie

Let me go try to find a home

I can't wait; try to stay awake

Dead inside, bothered by the lie"

"Natural Life," Breaking Benjamin

Harry got out of bed slowly, groaning. He made his way over to the calendar that Dean had taped to the wall. "It's Friday already?" Harry looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you," he whispered. It was then that he realized it was very quiet, and pale sunlight was streaming through the windows. "Damn! Why didn't anyone wake me up?" he asked the empty room.

"Wake who? Whatsit?" Dean's sleepy voice sounded from behind his bed curtains. After a few more seconds, Harry heard springs squeak loudly, and then the curtains were ripped open. "What time is it?" Dean asked, already leaping out of bed. He snatched his watch off of the pile of clothes heaped up against the wall. "Shit!"

"That late, huh?" Harry asked wryly.

"Thirty minutes until the end of the school day," Dean replied. He looked around for a few seconds, then sighed. "I'm not even going to bother getting dressed today."

"You might want to later," Harry commented.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What for? There's really no reason to. Except for dinner, and I'm not really that hungry anyway."

"Well, I'm sure most people at Deity won't mind your choice of apparel..."

"Oh, shit, I completely forgot!" Dean smacked his forehead.

"You must have stayed up pretty late with Hermione last night."

"I didn't make it to the dorm until midnight, and then I couldn't get to sleep. The last time I checked the clock, it was half past one."

"That early?" Harry asked. "That's really not so bad, Dean."

"You've stayed up later? With... with Malfoy?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Er... yeah," Harry replied weakly, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Um, keep it down, would you?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sure, no problem."

"Particularly around Ron."

"No kidding. I still have tiny glass shards in my ass."

Harry laughed. "Your flying through the window would have been hilarious if the situation hadn't been so..."

"...Tense?" Dean offered.

Harry shrugged. "Just glad it's over."

"Yeah, and Ron's finally actually speaking to you again."

"Yeah. So, did you make plans with Hermione for tonight, too?"

"Actually, no. She's too focused on studying right now." Dean shuddered. "I want to avoid being sucked into thatat all costs."

"So we're still going to Deity, right?"

"Yep."

"You going to go like that?" Harry asked, gesturing to Dean's blue plaid boxers.

Dean looked down. "Erm... no." He ran a hand through his hair, then grimaced. "I need a shower."

"By all means, go," Harry said, waving Dean away and wrinkling his nose.

"I don't smell that bad do I?"

Harry regarded Dean solemnly for a few seconds before saying, "Shower."

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"Guys!" Seamus whispered loudly, entering the bathroom. "Come on! I can't go You Know Where by myself!" He had somehow managed to pull his hair back into two tiny pigtails, and was wearing... of all things... a black and red schoolgirl uniform, complete with combat boots and a stud collar.

"Where the hell did you get a hold of that?" Dean asked, flinching as Harry attempted to apply mascara to his lashes. "Hey, don't stab me!" he complained.

Harry mock-frowned. "Stop moving, then." He studied Seamus' outfit for a second, then shrugged. Seamus was insane anyway.

"Like you look any better, Tomas," Seamus said, leaning against the wall next to Harry and Dean.

Dean merely shrugged. "I just don't want to get raped. You actually like that shit."

Harry laughed. "And that's wrong because...?"

Dean sighed. "Not once have you ever done up your hair like that, Harry," he replied, waving his hand at Seamus' head.

"It took me forever, and I'm going to have a major headache later." Seamus lifted himself up so he was sitting on the edge of one of the sinks. He leaned over to study Dean's make-up intently, almost bumping his head against Harry's.

"Cut it out, Seamus, or I'm going to spear Dean's eye with this damn thing!" Harry hissed, applying the finishing touches to Dean's make-up. "Perfect," he announced.

"And I don't know why you complain about my fashion sense when Harry's so good at putting on make-up and stuff," Seamus sniffed. Harry scrutinized Seamus' clothing, then started selecting make-up to slather on his face.

"Do you want to do it yourself?" Harry asked.

"No, no. I suck at that stuff," Seamus said hastily, closing his eyes.

Harry sighed and shook his head, then began putting liberal amounts of various kinds of cosmetics on Seamus' face. "We must have looked really weird when we went into that shop in Hogsmeade and started picking out eyeshadow and stuff."

Dean nodded. "And I don't think they bought our story about that make-up being for our girlfriends."

"And the girls are starting to ask about their missing 'beauty products,'" Seamus informed.

"Perfect," Harry groaned. "The last thing I need is Parvati Patil seeing her body glitter in my trunk."

"Pray they never suspect us." Dean shuddered, then laughed. "Maybe we can put everything in Ron and Neville's trunks."

Harry cleared his throat. "Considering what Ron has just been put through lately..."

"...Probably not a good idea," Dean finished.

"Nope. Would you stop fidgeting, Seamus?"

"Dana," Seamus retorted. "I'm Dana, remember?"

"We're not at Deity yet, sweetheart," Harry replied, mimicking Seamus' voice.

Seamus giggled. "Ooh, when you talk like that... Harry, you're not really with Malfoy, are you?"

"Seamus..."

"I know, I know. Just hurry up, would you? Great costume, by the way."

Dean nodded. "It does look... er... good."

Harry shrugged, blushing. "I just wanted to do something outlandish tonight."

"Well, I'm pretty sure people are going to have a hard time recognizing you. Or rather, your alternate persona." Dean shook his head quickly. "It's all getting so confusing."

"You could totally be yet another whole different person tonight." Seamus opened his eyes and turned around to look in the mirror. "Perfect," he exclaimed, leaping off of the sink.

"No more alter egos. I can't handle anymore." Dean stood up. "We ready to go?"

Harry rose to his feet slowly and studied himself in the mirror. They had just finished studying faeries in Defense Against the Dark Arts and he'd decided to dress up as some sort of Dark pixie. Aside from the typical feaux diamond stud and the gold hoop earring he wore, his hair was streaked with silver, purple, and green, and saturated with glitter hairspray. He had donned low-rider, skintight silver pants and had wrapped one of Lavender's sheer green what's-its around his legs to look like something that harem girls wore in the movies he'd seen. He'd left all notion of a shirt behind, exposing a fake diamond stud in his bellybutton, a large, archane-looking symbol that he'd painted on his chest in dark purple, and twofake gold slave bands on his wrists. He'd done up his face in white and a deep violet, and had "borrowed" Malfoy's silvery lip gloss. "Something's missing," he murmured, squinting his eyes at his reflection.

"We'd better hurry before the line gets too long." Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"What're you nervous about?" Seamus asked. "We remembered Harry's invisibility cloak. There's no chance of being spotted."

"It's Rock Night."

"Friday night is always Rock Night," Seamus pointed out.

"Yeah, but Dino's the DJ tonight. That means guaranteed good music."

Harry laughed. "Just a second." He surveyed all of the junk he'd carried to the bathroom, then spotted what he was looking for. He inserted a feaux diamond stud in his nose, then winked at Dean and Seamus. "I hate not being able to wear this in class."

"It looks hot," Seamus purred.

Dean stared at Harry, then at Seamus, then back at Harry. "Now, what I'm about to say... I'm saying it as a completely, decidedly heterosexual male... Harry, you look great."

"Yeah, you look like some kind of Dark faerie."

Harry laughed. "Thanks, guys." He hid all of their make-up in a stall, then picked up his invisibility cloak. "Okay, let's go."

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A/N: Don't worry, the story's not over yet. I just wanted to apologize again for my lengthy description of Harry. But... geez! Can you just see him? Anyway, on with the chapter!

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Harry had already consumed three glasses of Ambrosia and was currently dancing with a guy that appeared to be a few years older than him, and pleasing to the eye. He also seemed rather eager to... not dance... with Harry. And Harry didn't want to "not dance." He was contemplating telling the guy to fuck off when Seamus cut in and saved the day. Within minutes, the guy was trying to "not dance" with Seamus. Harry sighed in relief and left the dance floor for yet another drink.

"Ambrosia?"

"No, not this time, Paris," Harry smiled.

Paris pressed his palms on the top of the bar. "What'll it be then? Vodka?"

"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "I'm going to go with the hard stuff. Water."

Paris smirked and leaned forward. "You sure you can handle it?"

"I'm pretty tough," Harry replied, making his voice low and husky.

"Mm, I'll bet you can, Ash." Paris winked and reached down below the bar to grab a bottle of water.

Harry twisted the top off and drank thirstily. "Thanks," he gasped when half of the bottle was drained.

"You don't usually resort to water this early," Paris remarked.

"Your Ambrosia is a little dry tonight," Harry retorted.

"Too much blue stuff?" Paris asked, frowning at an empty glass of what had been Ambrosia.

"Yeah. Who made the mix tonight?"

"Frankie."

Harry groaned and shook his head. "Well, this time he put in way too much salt."

"Well, I can't make a new batch unless everything I already have is gone." Paris shrugged.

"I'll help finish it off later... when I can salivate again."

"That bad, huh? Why did you order three, then?"

"Well, I thought the first drink was just a mistake and the second one would be better. And then I thought that maybe the third time would be the charm."

"If everyone in the club thinks like that, I'll definitely be able to make a new batch."

Harry shook his head. "I guess I'm not getting any more Ambrosia tonight." Paris just laughed. "See you when I get thirsty again," Harry said, making his way back into the crowd of dancers. Someone helped him up onto the raised platform and he smiled in thanks. After a few more seconds he realized he was looking at Malfoy, who was wearing some black and blue get-up that somehow managed to look classy and trashy at the same time. "Er... hi," he said stupidly, amazed yet again at how talented Malfoy was with costumes.

It was then that Harry realized that Malfoy had no idea who he was. "Hey. Come here often?"

Harry shrugged and smirked sexily. "Only for you, baby."

Malfoy's eyebrows shot up. "Pot... er... Ash?"

Harry laughed and leaned forward. "If you want me to be," he breathed into Malfoy's ear.

"What the hell did you do to yourself?" Malfoy asked, not blinking. "That is, I meant to say... how the hell did you do that to yourself?"

"Make-up," Harry replied simply.

"Er... right. You did a good job. Makes your eyes look greener."

"Oh, so you notice my eyes?" Harry asked, feeling oddly pleased.

"Who doesn't? They're huge."

Harry felt the pleasure fade away. "Ah."

"That would be a good thing, Ash." Malfoy studied Harry's eyes for a moment. "How did you manage to make them look so... slanted?"

"Make-up."

"Yes, but what did you do with the make-up to make them look like that?"

"Maybe I'll show you sometime."

"It makes you look foreign."

"Well, that's what I was going for."

"Do you want to dance?" Malfoy asked abruptly.

"Hm. Well, you see, Malfoy," Harry said, leaning toward the other boy conspiratorially, "this is a dance club. And I'm standing here on the dance floor." He pulled back and straightened up. "So I'm going to stand here and yodel."

"Oh, shut up, Potter," Malfoy said quietly, masking a grin with a scowl. "You know what I meant."

Harry pretended to think for a moment, then nodded slowly, keeping his expression solemn. "Yes, Draco Malfoy, I shall dance with you." Harry raised an eyebrow. "Um, Malfoy, did you just shiver?"

"No. Stop drinking so much Ambrosia," Malfoy replied, slipping his arms around Harry's waist. He started rubbing against Harry in time with the music.

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"I've only had three glasses tonight, and they were mostly salt," Harry protested, wrapping his arms around Malfoy's neck.

"Whatever you say, Potter," Malfoy murmured. "Whatever you say."

"Oh, shut up, Malfoy." Malfoy just snickered.

"Another water, Ash?" Paris asked, assuming a concerned expression. "Maybe I should cut you off."

"Shut up and give me the damned water," Harry snapped. "You should consider taking those pretzels off the bar for tonight."

"The Ambrosia's really that salty?"

"Yes," both Harry and Malfoy replied in unison.

"Now, do what Ash said and give us some bloody water," Malfoy ordered.

"Ooh, you're sexy when you're angry," Paris said sarcastically, winking at Ash when Malfoy frowned.

"Is service at Deity always this terrible?" Malfoy asked the ceiling.

"Huh," Harry replied, nodding thanks to Paris when he handed him a bottle of water. "The Underworld is worse."

"Aw, you're just saying that," Paris clasped his hands together and batted his eyelashes before moving on to serve another customer.

"The Underworld?"

"Another dance club. Sucks." Harry gulped down the entire bottle of water before continuing. "Dirty, dingy, bad drinks, bad light and sound systems, terrible music, slow service, and a bunch of people acting tough."

"I've never heard of the place," Malfoy commented, sipping his water more slowly to savor the feeling of his throat and tongue not being dry.

"That's because it sucks," Harry stated simply.

"You should tell me where it is so I can go there and complain loudly about how much it sucks."

Harry laughed. "We should go there together sometime and complain loudly about how much it sucks." He grinned. "When I went there with Dean and Seamus, I didn't get to make fun of the place because Dean was too nervous around the biker posers and Seamus was too drunk."

"Are they open tonight?" Malfoy asked casually, tracing the rim of his bottle of water with his index finger.

"Yeah. Not as late as Deity, though."

"How late are we talking?"

"They close in an hour."

"Midnight?"

"I know, I know. They suck, okay?"

"I got it. We should go now."

"You like to complain too much."

"You're just itching to go verbally trash that place, too."

"You're right. Let's go now." Harry stood up and grabbed Malfoy's wrist before hurrying out of the club.

"What about your friends?" Malfoy asked when they were outside.

"They'll be in there until closing time."

"Nine to nine. They don't keep the same bartenders all night, do they?" Harry merely quirked an eyebrow. "What?" Malfoy asked defensively. "I'm not as interested in people as you are."

"Then how the hell do you know so much about them?" Harry asked.

"I'm interested in people when they make idiots out of themselves," Malfoy explained. "That doesn't mean I'm interested in people."

"Well, you know, Malfoy, people are everywhere."

"Which is why I'll be happy living in my mansion away from the rest of the world."

"Malfoy the Hermit. How will you make a living then? Blackmail people? Oh, wait, that's right, you're too rich to have to earn a living."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm not poor like you..."

"Ah, yes," Harry sighed dramatically, pressing the back of his hand against his forehead as if he were about to faint. "Whatever shall I do?"

Malfoy shoved Harry. "You're crazy, Potter. You know that?"

"Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Meh, meh, meh?" Harry said, moving his thumb and fingers together so it looked like his hand was talking. Malfoy merely stared at him. "Meh?" Harry asked, eyebrows raised.

Malfoy shook his head slowly. "How much farther until we reach the club?"

"One more block," Harry replied, now looking up at the tiny strip of sky that appeared between the two large, crumbling buildings that made up the alley. "We'll leave before closing time, though."

"Aw, but I want to really make fun of the place."

"Believe me, you'll have plenty to work with in that amount of time."

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Harry and Malfoy exited The Underworld, both laughing and clutching their stomachs. "Their slogan should be..." Malfoy interrupted himself with a burst of loud laughter, "The Underworld... We Suck." Harry leaned against the wall, laughing so hard that he made no sound at all. "And I know those walls were white at one point," Malfoy continued. "When was the last time they painted the interior?"

"Two months ago," Harry managed to choke out before laughing uncontrollably again.

"I still think..." Malfoy broke off to giggle, "that it was so funny..." more laughter, "when you..." even more laughter, "tapped on that guy's shoulder and knicked his drink when he turned the other way." He giggled for about a half a minute, then sighed. Before laughing again. "He looked so confused." And yet more laughter. "And then you drained the glass and filled it with the ashes from the ash tray... and he actually tried to drink them."

"Which..." Harry gasped, kneeling on the ground, "goes to show... just how drunk... he was."

"It's going to hurt to stand up straight tomorrow if we keep laughing like this," Malfoy pointed out.

"Shut up. You're ruining it for me."

"Agh. I cannot believe how much that place sucked."

"I told you so," Harry said, rising to his feet.

"It royally sucked."

"Yep."

"Its suckiness was of mythic proportions."

"Yep," Harry repeated, starting to walk back to Deity.

"Let's go back there next Friday."

"Certainly," Harry agreed.

"God, that place sucked!"

"Yes, I believe we've covered that. Several times. For the past forty-five minutes," Harry said, grinning.

"Really? Feels like we were there for five minutes."

Harry giggled. "Yeah. Time sure flies when you're complaining about how crappy something is."

They walked out of the alley and out into the open air. Harry shivered, crossing his arms. Malfoy reached out and wrapped his arm around Harry's waist so they were closer together. "That help?"

Harry nodded, not wanting to think about how wrong the situation should have been and how right it felt.

"Do you know anymore places that are that much fun?" Malfoy asked.

"Plenty," Harry replied.

"We should go to them sometime."

"Definitely." They walked together in silence for a bit.

"Oh, God, that place sucked!" Malfoy exclaimed, bursting into laughter again.

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After fifteen songs, two shots of Jack Daniel's, three bottles of water, and six trips to the bathroom, Harry was leaning against Malfoy and dancing to the end of some techno-rock song, which meant Dino was selecting another set of songs; Dean was justified when he had said the music was always good when Dino was in charge of Rock Night. The only somewhat shoddy songs were those that were played while Dino was preparing another round of great music. And sure enough, as soon as the house music began to fade away, The Offspring's "Gone Away" took over the sound system.

"Oh, I know this song," Malfoy said. "What's it called?"

Harry laughed. "'Gone Away.' By The Offspring."

"Laugh all you want, Potter. I'm sorry I'm not as experienced with music as you are."

"You just probably aren't allowed to have a CD player."

Malfoy grinned ruefully. "Yep. And, thanks to you, I know how much I'm missing out."

Harry shrugged. "Buy one. Now shut up so I can hear the music." He zoned out and started singing along.

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A/N: And again with the story's not being over yet. HELP ME! I'm usually pretty good at listening to lyrics and knowing what's being said, but I still make mistakes (see my rendition of Korn's "Trash." I'll be fixing those lyrics as soon as I'm finished with the story). So if you could look over the lyrics for this chapter and let me know if I made more mistakes, that would be great. Now, back to the story!

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"Maybe, in another life, I could find you there

Gone away before your time... I can't do it; so unfair"

Harry and Malfoy began to press against each other softly in time with the music. Harry sighed, feeling Malfoy's heart beat.

"Leaving flowers on your grave to show that I still care"

"This song always makes me think about how I'd feel if someone I love died," Malfoy said, staring over Harry's head at something in the distance.

"And nobody you know has ever died before?" Harry asked wryly.

"Nobody I love," Malfoy replied honestly.

Harry nodded. "Now be quiet."

"I reach to the skies and call out your name

And if I could trade, I would

And it feels like heaven's so far away

And it feels like the world is so cold, now that you've gone away"

Harry was somewhat frustrated when he felt his eyes tear up; not only did the water welling up in his eyes threaten to smear his make-up, but Malfoy was sure to make fun of him or something like that. He blinked them back, forcing his thoughts to go somewhere other than dead loved ones.

"Potter? Are you okay?" Malfoy asked, bending his knees slightly so his eyes were closer to being level with Harry's.

"Yeah," Harry said quickly, blinking. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Malfoy just shrugged. Harry shrugged in reply and they resumed dancing. After some song by The Presidents Of The United States Of America, Harry practically squeaked when a slower, softer song filled the room.

"Let me guess... you love this song?" Malfoy asked sarcastically, a smile playing at his lips.

"Radiohead. 'Creep.'"

"Isn't 'Creep' by the Stone Temple Pilots?"

"They both have a song called 'Creep.'"

"Are they the same?"

"No. Shut up."

"You seem to be saying that a lot tonight."

"Because you can't seem to not talk."

"You're talking, too."

"Shut up, Malfoy, and listen to the damned song."

"Ooh, I like these lyrics," Malfoy commented after awhile.

"How can you know if you don't listen to them?" Harry snapped.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Be quiet."

"I hate it when people say that."

"Malfoy!"

"Okay, okay. Just relax."

Harry leaned against Malfoy again and resumed singing along softly.

"I want you to notice when I'm not around

I wish I were special; you're so very special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here"

"This song's pretty self-dep..." Malfoy was cut off when Harry's hand clamped onto his mouth.

"This happens to be my favorite part of the song, you twit."

"Hmhrmphrph."

"Malfoy!"

Malfoy rolled his eyes and flicked his tongue against Harry's fingers.

"Ew, that feels weird!" Harry complained, yanking his hand away.

"Ssh!" Malfoy hissed, pressing his finger to his lips. "It's my favorite part of the song!"

Harry sneered and wiped his hand off on Malfoy's sleeve.

"Hey!" Malfoy exclaimed, attempting to step away. His retreat was hampered by the large crowd of dancers on the platform. "This happens to be very expens... hey! Cut it out!" He attempted to swat Harry's hand away. "That's enou... stop!"

Harry laughed. "It won't stain, Malfoy."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"I don't want your saliva wiped off on my shirt!"

"It's your saliva," Harry pointed out.

"Agh!"

"How very articulate, Malfoy."

"Shut up!"

"Oh, look who wants silence now."

"You're the most irritating human being I've ever met!"

"Well, I feel exactly the same way about you!"

Harry and Malfoy glared at each other for a few seconds before kissing each other hard. A couple who was dancing next to them made catcalls and cheered them on. They left quickly when Malfoy glared at them.

Harry laughed. "They weren't hurting us or anything."

"Yes, well, they were bloody annoying."

"And that explains everything. End of story," Harry said, eyes twinkling.

"Exactly. You still want to dance?"

"I'm still out here on the dance floor, aren't I?"

"Don't be such a smart ass, Potter," Malfoy commanded.

"Right, because you cover every inch in that department."

"I would rather be covering every inch of something else right about now," Malfoy remarked, eyeing Harry suggestively.

Harry's eyebrows raised. "Now? Here?" He looked around.

"Why not?" Malfoy asked.

"Well, if you thought the comments we were getting before were annoying..." Harry eyed another pair of dancers that were slowly making their way down to the floor. "And we might get stepped onor kicked around..."

"So let's go somewhere else," Malfoy suggested.

"Um... well, Dean and Seamus are still here, and I can't leave without them."

"And why is that?" Malfoy was beginning to look slightly irritated.

"Because when they finally decide to leave as well, they'll look for me. And when they can't find me, they'll panic and tell someone I'm missing."

"That didn't seem to be an issue when we left to go to The Underworld." Malfoy was now more than slightly irritated.

"Yes, but I also knew we'd be back before Deity closed," Harry replied.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know if I'll be able to come back here if I have sex with you. We tend to get a little enthusiastic, and then the next thing you know, it's morning and we're late for school."

"And that's the only reason."

"Yes. Promise."

"Okay. But you..."

"I know, I owe you."

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Harry couldn't get to sleep. It was okay though; he had pretty much become more or less an insomniac over the past few weeks. In fact, the only times he had actually been able to fit in a full night's sleep were, oddly enough, when Malfoy had crawled into bed with him. And that scared the hell out of him. He was relying more and more on Malfoy, and if he allowed his dependency to grow, he'd never be able to part ways at the end of the school year.

"Harry?" Dean's whisper interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Was that... was that Malfoy you were dancing with tonight?"

Harry hesitated, waiting to see if Ron was still asleep. "Um, yeah. Why?"

"No reason," Dean yawned. "I just... I haven't seen you have that much fun in awhile."

Fun? Dean thought he'd had fun? Well, maybe he had had a little fun, but he'd been trying so hard to avoid even the subject of sex that he had made himself paranoid and exhausted. Harry had had to leave Deity before closing time. Something he'd never done before. And Malfoy had looked... what, annoyed? Tired? ...Hurt?

Harry groaned and flopped over onto his side, willing himself to drift off to sleep. But the instant he closed his eyes, he knew he wouldn't be able to; Malfoy had presented a night full of possibilities, as always, but Harry had had to turnhim down. Because he died a little every time he and Malfoy had sex while knowing he'd never feel that... good... again when school was over. So he was avoiding Malfoy when he could. Just so he wouldn't get too attached to say goodbye without having his heart ripped out.

But, as Harry finally drifted off to sleep, he knew deep down that it was already too late.

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"Harry?" Ron asked, shaking Harry gently. "We'll miss class if we don't go downstairs for breakfast within the next five minutes."

Harry groaned and opened one eye slowly. "What?" he croaked, attempting to sit up.

Ron eyed him worriedly. "You don't look so good. Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"Erm... no," Harry replied tiredly, yawning.

"Right. Go back to sleep."

"But I've already missed too many classes..."

"You don't look so good, Harry. I'm sure none of the professors want you sitting in their classrooms while you're sick." Ron pushed at Harry's shoulder, getting him to lie back down. "Besides, you might be contagious."

"Ron, I'm just tired..."

"Shut up and go back to sleep, Harry," Ron commanded, already leaving the room.

Harry stared after him for a few seconds, shrugged, then fell asleep.

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"Potter?"

Harry moaned in protest as he was brought out of the wonderful world of sleep. "Ungh?" he grunted, refusing to open his eyes.

"Are you all right?"

Harry now realized that the voice that was addressing him belonged to Malfoy. His eyes snapped open. "Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

"Well, seeing if you were all right," Malfoy replied simply. "Do you need to goget Pomfrey?"

"No," Harry said, shaking his head. Malfoy looked... concerned. "I was just tired this morning, so Ron told me to stay in bed." He waited for another minute or so, then asked, "What are you still doing here?"

An expression that couldn't be classified as anything other than hurt flashed across Malfoy's face. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Not really," Harry replied, "now that I'm awake." Another pause, then, "You actually want to stay up here with me?"

"Well, of course." At Harry's confused expression, Malfoy hastily added, "That is, you still owe me a round of sex."

"So, if I hadn't been okay, would you have wanted to have sex anyway?" Harry asked wryly.

"Would you be freaked out if I told you that the thought might have crossed my mind?"

Harry laughed. "You only would have thought about it?"

Malfoy snorted. "What kind of a sicko do you take me for?" At Harry's smirk, Malfoy shoved his shoulder playfully. "Very well, then. I guess I'll be leaving you now."

Harry grabbed Malfoy's wrist. "I'll get bored up here all by myself."

Malfoy shrugged. "Not my problem, is it?"

Harry sighed. "Are you trying to get me angry again?"

"Yes. Did it work?"

"Up until I realized what you were doing."

"Damn. Guess I'll have to work on that, then."

"You've almost got it down perfect. It's just..." Harry trailed off. He wasn't sure if he wanted Malfoy to know that he actually noticed things about him.

"What? Just what?" Malfoy pressed.

"Well... when you're trying to piss me off, the leftcorner of your lips do this twitchy thing," Harry pointed out. "It's barely even noticeable. Anyone who doesn't know about it won't be able to tell the difference. Honest."

Malfoy smiled. "But you noticed. Been staring at my lips, Potter?" Harry blushed, bringing a laugh out of Malfoy. "It's okay. Lack of sex makes things like that happen."

Sex. They hadn't had sex for a couple of days. Part of Harry never wanted to have sex with Malfoy ever again. The other part was screaming for something to happen soon. Very soon. He couldn't give in, though; if he felt this way now, he didn't even want to think about how he'd feel on the last day of school, knowing that he and Malfoy would never have sex again.

"Are you cold?" Malfoy asked when Harry shuddered.

"No," Harry replied.

"...Okay. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine."

"Good." Malfoy leaned in and kissed Harry languidly.

And Harry forgot about any notion of resistance. But at the same time he was scared out of his wits. What was wrong with him? Lately, he'd been feeling like he didn't even know who he was anymore. Everyone thought he was different. He thought he was different. He wasn't spending as much time with his best friends as he used to, and what surprised him was that he didn't want to. And he was confiding in Slytherins. And he was fucking a Slytherin. And he didn't want to stop seeingsaid Slytherin when school was over.

Malfoy pushed Harry back into the pillows. "It's okay, Potter," he whispered, tugging at Harry's boxers until his cock was exposed. "Just relax."

Relax? Right. Just... relax. That was another thing that unnerved Harry; Malfoy seemed to be the only person that could put him at ease now. Only Malfoy. A Slytherin. A Slytherin who might not become a Death Eater.

Harry inhaled sharply and arched his back as Malfoy's warm mouth closed over his cock. He clamped both hands onto the headboard behind him, knowing his climax would be explosive; he had a lot of tension to release.

Malfoy went to work, doing exactly what Harry liked. He always did. Somehow, Malfoy always knew exactly what Harry wanted. Needed. What was he going to do when Malfoy would no longer be able to give him what he wanted?

Harry closed his eyes, willing his body to push his mind out of the way and take over. Why did one Slytherin matter so much to him anyway? And wasn't Malfoy supposed to be his archenemy?

Harry repressed a snort. None of that really mattered now, anyway. He was already growing apart from his two best friends, disregarding his "destiny," revealing more of himself to Slytherins than to his fellow Gryffindors, and having great sex every chance he got with the prince of the Slytherins. He was changing, that was for sure.

Harry closed his eyes. Maybe he wasn't changing. Maybe he was just finally letting what had been inside him all along creep out. If this was the case, Harry wanted to go right back to lying to himself and everybody around him. Because if what he was feeling now was the truth, then lying was much, much easier.

Malfoy's nails dug into Harry's sides, making Harry wince. Harry knew that Malfoy hated it when it took so long for Harry to even acknowledge the sensation of intense pleasure that sex brought on, let alone come. But Harry felt like he was dying inside. Something was wrong with him, and he didn't know what. No, he knew what was wrong with him. He just didn't accept it. Because he wasn't sure how to deal with it. How to make it better. Because maybe he couldn't make it better.

Harry was startled when he finally came. His mind and his body had apparently separated. Unfortunately, Harry had been stuck with his mind, so any sense of pleasure that his body had achieved was dwarfed by the confusion and depression whirling around in his head.

"A few weeks ago, you said that you were jealous about my being able to 'be somewhere else,'" Malfoy said calmly, stretching out on the bed next to Harry.

"Yeah...?"

"Well, I know how you felt now."

Harry bit his lip guiltily. Malfoy had noticed, then. "Sorry," he whispered, rolling over onto his side so his back was facing Malfoy. When he received no reply from the other boy, he squeezed his eyes shut tightly to hold back tears and pressed his knuckles against his lips to keep them from trembling. Something was definitely wrong with him. And he knew that it wasn't really Malfoy's fault.

After about a half an hour passed, Harry finally drifted off to sleep. And right before sleep claimed him completely, he could have sworn he heard Malfoy whisper, "It's all right, Harry. It'll be all right, love," before kissing his temple gently and leaving the room. But it was probably just a dream. Right?

0000

A/N: I'm not too happy with this chapter. I don't know why, I just don't think it lived up to my expectations. Anyway, I'm really sorry about the delay. First I was sick (again), then I had to make up homework, then I had family situations. Oh, yeah, if you want to check out the progress of the fics I'm working on (including this one. duh), check out my bio page. I've got a list of fanfics (all in the Harry Potter fandom) that I'll be posting eventually. And all but one involve Harry and Draco in some way or another.