Chapter Four
After I was done crying that day, I just sat around, kind of introspective. I needed to take a day once in a while to get my head clear. I felt like the world was moving a million miles an hour and this was my day to get off and let the world pass me by.
I spent a long time thinking about Ephram. In a perfect world he would have been right there next to me, but 10 years had gone by and to drag him into my life would just be cruel. He was married and he was happy. I couldn't ruin that for him. I should just go back to pretending he never existed. But I didn't want to loose him again. He meant something to me. He knew me when I was a real person, and there were too few of those friends left in my life. It wasn't really a choice in the end; he was going to be a part of my life. I'd just have to work extra-hard at keeping him at a distance from some things.
I called him the next day and we met for lunch. It was totally awkward at first, we hadn't seen each other in such a long time, and we'd both changed more than we realized. In fact, it was being with him and remembering the kind of person I'd been when I last saw him that made me see how far I'd come. I tried to explain it to him.
"I'm just, I don't know, stronger I guess. I just keep remembering that...kid that I used to be. I was such a pushover." I stopped. It was strange. I didn't feel any different, but I knew I was.
"You were never a kid." Ephram laughed.
"Seriously I was. You have no idea. I was like one of those three year olds that think that if they do whatever they're told then everything will be ok. I was totally spineless. I was just desperate to keep anything bad from happening."
"What happened?"
"I grew up, I guess. I reaslized that there's no way you can stop the bad things happening. And when they do you survive and things get better."
We dropped the subject and moved on to safer subjects. Mutual friends, the New York music scene, family, life the universe and everything. It was amazing just how easily I found I could talk to him. I think maybe it was because he'd known me when I was still an innocent small town girl and he's been the worldly city guy. Our ages had been reversed, but in every way that had counted he'd been more experienced. I'd realized that after Jacob died. Ephram had already known what it was like to loose someone irreplaceable. I just didn't see how much that changed him, because I never knew him before, when he really was a kid.
We met up a couple of times a week after that. We started to build a real solid friendship, which was strange because even though we'd dated, we'd never been friends before. Before I'd never opened up to him, because I'd thought he'd never really understand. Now I told him almost everything. I censored myself sometimes, and sometimes remained vague, but we were closer than we'd ever been. I even got over being attracted to him. He was married after all. And as much as Delia didn't like Katie, she seemed nice enough.
I only met her a couple of times. Delia had been telling the truth, she was a workaholic, but I had no reason to dislike her. She was totally in love with Ephram, and he adored her. I could see it when they looked at each other while they thought nobody was looking. She was great to me too. Most women would throw a fit if their husband suddenly became best friends with their ex, who happened to be a rock star. Not Katie. She just laughed and asked me to autograph the National Enquirer article that had the photos of Ephram and me having lunch.
It was 2 months later that Ephram didn't turn up for one of the lunches we were supposed to have. He'd never even been late to one before, but this time he didn't turn up at all. I was left sitting in the restaurant like an idiot for a whole 2 hours, all alone, before I finally gave up and went home. I'd never been so mad in my entire life. Honestly, I wanted to kill the guy, because I'd been so embarrassed. I was convinced that one of the tabloids would have photos of me sitting there waiting and the whole country would get to hear about me being stood up.
I let myself into my apartment and threw myself down onto the couch. I turned on the TV with the remote and flicked through the channels for a while. I switched to CBS eventually, because it was almost time for the local news. I watched the end of some quiz show and then the headlines came up. I liked to know what was going on in the city. It mad me feel connected.
"Terror in a law firm, coming right up." The teased hooked me and I sat through the commercials to hear what had happened.
Some wacko had burst into a law firm downtown with a couple of guns and had taken a group of people hostage. They'd been trapped for a couple of hours and it had all ended up with a shootout with the police. The wacko was dead and a couple of people were in hospital, with one of the hostages listed in critical condition.
It all seemed like kind of an interesting if slightly scary irrelevance until they said the name of the law firm: Gray Forman Starkey. That was Katie's law firm. Then it was even scarier, but kind of cool. I'd have to remember to ask Katie the details about what happened. It would make a kickass story to tell the guys in the band. They'd think it was great.
I sat and watched the rest of the news, not taking much interest in anything but the showbiz gossip. Just because I knew most of the people involved now didn't make it any less fun. Except when I was the target, in which case it was hilarious.
At the end of the news they went back to their top story.
"With more details on the shooting at the downtown offices of Gray Forman Starkey we're handing back to Kelly Price, who'd on the scene. What can you tell us Kelly?"
"Well, Mike. I'm here at the offices where the terrifying hostage situation took place. We've just spoken to the police chief, who's confirmed that police marksmen killed the attacker. However our sources tell us that several of the hostages were shot by the attacker and have been taken to Civic General Hospital. Two patients are described at in a critical condition. They are Kevin Brockhurst, a paralegal, and Katherine Brown, an associate lawyer and the wife of Grammy winning pianist Ephram Brown..."
I didn't hear the rest of the report. I don't remember leaving the house, or hailing a cab, or getting to the hospital. It was automatic. Ephram needed me and I was going to be there. I got to the waiting room of the ER and there was Ephram, sitting, pale as a ghost but with a faint tinge of gray/green to his face. He smiled at me in a kind of automatic greeting that had nothing to do with happiness, and I sat next to him, holding his hand and waiting.
