I will finish this, promise. I just don't always have the time to work on it or the ideas to work with because sometimes you just don't have those oreos and milk to bribe muses with.
Yeah...so riding a horse is definitely not my forte. I know how to mount one and that is about it. Technically I know how to make them go too but I've only ridden a horse once. That one time I think my horse was broken because it wouldn't go but when it did, it decided to walk undeterred into a lake. Now you see why I'm not too fond of horses? Yeah, I thought you wouldn't, some stuff other people just don't understand like the chicken story I made up once about why the chicken crossed the road. I don't remember it all but I know it started out so he could get some nuts from this squirrel then he got picked up by a trucker and taken to a bar and there was something about a dead baby eating a dog and then the chicken was really a member of the Russian mob and went back to Russia to beat up an alligator then make boots out of him...and something about these two Chinese guys eating at an Italian restaurant. I don't know, it was just special and no one quite understood it, but it still happened. That and there is just no comfortable position on a horse. Comfortable and horse should not even be in the same sentence, well at least for me.
Miserable, miserable, miserable.
Oh wait! Yes, now I remember. There is a dark haired boy currently sitting in front of me that got me into this mess. I think he should be miserable with me. Yes! Fear my evilness of plotting goodome... Said boy was now being poked sharply in the ribcage and being asked if we were there yet every five minutes. Hey, it was something to do. Do you know how boring sitting on a horse all day can be if you let it?
Yeah, me neither. I'm easily amused.
So between me poking him and asking him questions about Haven we made wonderful time which I'm sure didn't have anything at all to do with the fact that my poking strayed to the big furry whiteness below me every now and again. That and if in a moment of sugary giddiness you threaten to make daisy chains for all, people tend to see it your way.
Unfortunately for me I happened to conviently forget that water way back when wasn't generally on the list of beverages, now just add the word alcoholic to it and 95 percent of the time it was there. Now why did the gods and goddesses have to pick the person who's only allergy is to such things to come to such a place? I have no clue but when you see them could you kick them for me? I'm sure that it would get some kind of message to them...even if they do turn you into a smoking pile of dust. Thanks. Now where were we? Oh yes, Life sucks, I can't drink anything, and the gods like laughing at me with their furry white sidekicks chuckling in the background. Stupid horse. Stupid ale. Must smash head into something hard. Nope, not working. Heralds don't work very well. Not useful for bashing head in.grumble grumble grumble...
After much more traveling than I'd like and much more riding than any muscle in my body was used to and much more cider than I would want to consume we reached Haven...And Jovian, my damned kidnapper didn't even look uncomfortable. You'd think that all that poking would have at least given him a few bruises but noooo...He's just as cheerful as ever. And don't even get me started about that wannabe daemon in the furry white horse suit.
At this point in time it would be an understatement to say that I wasn't in the best of moods by the time we arrived at this oh so wonderful city. The only thing about cities is that one of their requirements is that they have people, lots of people. I believe we already discussed the topic of people. I don't particularly like them. They're a lot like puppets, in fact, only people are less cunning than puppets and have far more conspicuous plans to rule the world. So this was me trying to meld with my captors until we reached a large brick wall with a gate complete with guard that had to signal the palace grounds. Yes! Made it! Not been eaten by cannibalistic puppets..er I mean people, not been consumed by the fires of Tartarus, and only nearly been trampled by a sadistic white horse. All in all quite a lovely journey through flea infested fields of flesh eating rabbits and forests of evil bone crunching three headed giants...yes. Okay, so not quite..but it was close! And all for what? A suspicious looking guard and utterly massive looking buildings that wouldn't think twice about swallowing me whole. Perfect. And to complete the ensemble there are two cheerful white things waiting on the other side of said gate. Oh look they heard I was coming, how sweet. Now they're going to off me with a spoon. Just what I always wanted.
