AN- Little Italic bits are either stresses or PoV
Chapter 2- When Carters and Daniels CollideGeneral Jack's Office
He couldn't help it, he didn't want to but all he could do was stare blankly at Teal'c picture and think of was Sam. His arrogant thoughts were slipping from him- he'd been so sure she was in denial when she decided to get engaged to Pete.
What was he thinking- of course she's in denial!
Look at Pete and look at him, General Jack O'Neill!
Jack flashed lieutenant Locke (the attractive female lieutenant from SG4) who was striding passed his office.A seductive look from him and the poor girl whacked her head into an open door- a wide open door.
Jack would do this occasionally to give his ego a bit of an electrical surge, perking him up for the rest of the day.
Colonel Sam Carter occupied his thoughts most of the time but he would never admit it, her face was running in his brain again now, he focused all his attention to the image- so much so that he didn't see General Hammond's rather large figure block his door way- quite literally. His former General had really relaxed his diet recently.
The southern man waited for a moment then broke O'Neill's fantasy (Jack throwing logs on to an open fire with Sam watching his ass as he did it).
"Jack?" said Hammond he deep voice with its usual authority. Jack leapt up into salute position,
"Sir, I was just thinking about . . ."
Sam" . . .You! I was thinking about you" .The General of the SGC laughed at himself, if anyone on the planet was in a serious state of denial it was he. He pulled some creases out of his green uniform, feeling a little self-conscious since Hammond was wearing the formal blue and white one.
"Did you forget my visit?" Hammond cooed sarcastically peering around Jacks office that looked, at the moment, like a tornado had hit it- repeatedly; Jack actually blushed before he jumped into a brief explanation of the situation in an attempt to explain his offices state and the reason why Sam wasn't there complaining or explaining something- SG1 gone, DHD gone, I've going nuts
"What is you plan of action, General?" the former leader of stargate command demanded wryly, finally an opportunity for Jack to prove himself to his superiors.
Plan? Take up fishing and wait till this mess blows overOr perhaps not.
PX3-901, Temple of "Gloom"Doctor Jackson opened his blue eyes "Where in God's name was he?" Everything was so white, so pure and pretty . . . OH NO!
I'M DEAD!A hazy and very pretty woman with long blond hair was stooped over him, her lips were moving but Daniel was panicking too much to notice what she was saying.
DEAD!
Dead! Dead! Dead!He tried to move but his body was numb, he managed to move his right arm into the air
"Your better looking than any angel I ever saw" Daniel said woozily his face slightly frozen andhand flapping about, the weight of it made his arm crash to the ground with a heavily thud- which should have hurt but he didn't feel a thing- DEAD!. He tried to move other parts of himself but the remained stubbornly where they were.
"Daniel?"
"Yes my angel!" he replied dreamily, he admitted defeat- if this was heaven- it was fulL of women wearing next to nothing and he was only man!
"That's right baby, your angel"
"BUT I'M DEAD!" Daniel stammered even more drunkenly than before, he didn't want to die- he wanted to watch something on the discovery at 8!
"You're not dead sweetie-pea", Carter shook her head lovingly at him.
"Then why's my whole body numb" Including parts of his mouth
Carter furrowed her brow, "Your on ice"
Daniel pulled his head back, "But you're my angel!"
"Angel! Yes I am!" Carter smiled, "Finally, actin' like your ol' self again, darlin'"
Daniel's eyes snapped open, the memory of the strong and slightly more feminine Carter- the one who'd forced herself upon him- was rushing back at a painful pace.
It was Colonel Carter before him, well it looked like her- maybe this was fifths . . . Don't go there, he warned himself.
"How long was I down here for?"
Carter looked to the heavens and muttered some calculations, "'Bout an hour- don't worry you've been on blankets, I zipped up you coat too" she was giving him those wanting eyes again.
"Are you feeling ok, Sam?" Daniel said gingerly and still like he'd been drinking all day. "You hit your head too . . . more than once . . . repeatedly?"
Carters hands clung to her waist, it was probably some self-restraint, "Daniel Jackson I am you wife, dammit!"
Sam rolled her eyes as Daniel's crossed as he passed out.
Again.
PX3-901, Pink Mustang GTSam drove the speeding vehicle over the uninhabitable terrain, swerving crevasses occasionally. She glanced sideways at her snoozing victim.
Little mishaps like this were costing her in SGC therapy!
PX3-901, Temple of "Gloom"Sam sprang up, her blond her swaying- why was she so athletic. Dr Jackson continued to kick like a jackrabbit every time she came near him.
"Sam you sure you're ok?" he screamed as he scuttled away.
The angelic Sam opened her mouth to answer but the more familiar Colonel did whilst allowing the other Daniel's body to slump out of her arms and to the blue floor.
"I'm fine!" She looked confusedly between the two forms of Daniel; the one she had just "placed" on the floor and the one she'd arrived with- who looked slightly worse for wear but he was undoubtedly her archaeologist.
This other Daniel was almost the same except with the old floppy brown hair and large glass- one of the lenses was now cracked from how Sam had thrown him into the Mustang GT.
Daniel looked as though he was about to cry. Despairingly he said, very rapidly, "Carter thank god . . . but wait you're . . . and I'm . . . and we're apparently . . . I mean I know we all went to Vegas that one time . . . but you . . . and the stripper were . . . you know . . . Didn't I get arrested or . . .but . . . I need . . . ah!"
One unconscious Daniel to go
Suddenly the Carter's saw each other, there was a slight exchange of confused looks and both shouted at the same time- "WHERE'S TEAL'C"
PX3-901, God Only Knows Where"If you are indeed I then what who is . . . Isis"
Teal'c smiled- the million-dollar question was bound to prove the man before him to be an impostor.
"Our cat of 1999 days, he served us well, Apophis stole him from us"
GASP!
Original Teal'c performed eyebrow raise number 6- Confusion. The two of them seemed to passage though some profound sub-conscious thought process before arriving at the same confusing conclusion.
"Yes I am you and you are I"
"Indeed it would appear so"
"Indeed it would"
"Indeed"
The Teal'cs had found each other not far from the temple, unlike Daniel and Sam's replicated selves the Teal'c were identical in appearance- with one a tiny exception. The new Teal'c had a ring on a significant figure, a tasteful ring wrought in gold with his native language inscribed on it.
Teal'c one- the one with no longhaired Carter and sex-crazed Daniel as allies felt the presence of Teal'c two disturbing. Teal'c two ferreted in his pocket
"I've lost my keys again! JACK!"
Teal'c one now released that the variation was within.
A figure swayed into view, and a harmonious voice soothed, "Do not seek anger great warrior, it will cause suffering and pain. Calm you mind and release your aggression"
OH MERCY
PX3-901, Temple of "confusion"
It was an odd mixture of funny and just plain disturbing to watch the Sam's mirror each other, gestures, hands on sides, the frustrated looks . . . If only Jack were here now, he'd believe he was the one in heaven. Then it struck Daniel- another him, another Sam- it seemed probable that somewhere was another Jack and Teal'c.
"Err, Sams?" Daniel asked hesitantly as he held up both of his hands, "Come on, you're both rational people"
Daniel had regained consciousness quickly. His body was attempting to thaw out but his main concern was death stares being exchanged by both Sam's.
The Sams seemed to now share a common feeling,
Do you want to kick him or can I?
Green tiny dress Sam piped up, "What are you doing here? Thor told us . . ."
"Us?"
"Me, Daniel, Teal'c and Jack"
Daniel felt some satisfaction in that statement, "Where are they?" The doctor loved being right, the satisfaction was amplified even more so when he proved the commander of his based (namely one general J. O'Neill) wrong.
Very wrong.
Flicking her hair provocatively she grinned, "Wouldn't you like to know- good lookin'" Apparently finding she had two versions of Daniel wasn't the end of the world.
"Hello! You're married to me!" snapped her husband- apparently the other-world archaeologist was more aggressive. . . no wonder Sam wanted him!
"Well actually Daniel since you are both the same person I would imagine that really I 'm married to both of you" she grinned flicking her eyes between them both. The shorter haired Daniel looked like he wanted to run very far and very fast. However Carter techno-babble about relationships between alternate selves was a firm comfort- finally the sexy Carter was sounding more familiar.
Both doctors were still, jaws open but at a loss for words. The shorter haired blond stuck up her hand in protest but suddenly the loving couple shocked, appalled and disgusted her all at the same time.
Out of the blue, Carter and Daniel Jackson kissed!
In front of themselves!
They just started kissing
No WARNING!
Sam grabbed her alternative selves shoulder and threw her across the room. The green dress wearing Sam's back hit a boulder of ice and she slid roughly down it. Jumping to her feet immediately punches began flying between the fiery women- one Sam kicked, and the other ducked. Eventually the longhaired Sam punched the colonel so hard she slammed to the floor and rocketed backwards. On descent she pulled out her firearm and pointed straight at the alter ego. Now lying on the floor, Carter looked annoyed and rigid- she wanted a reason to use her gun.
Unarmed her counter part waved a white flag. "Honey, we are married," she said innocently (Daniel jerked his head up; some of the numbness was wearing off allowing him to move like a scarecrow)
"'S what people do"
Carter lunged forward slightly, I'm gonna be sick, WHY DANIEL? Why not O'Neill . . . wait stop thinking that- you're in love with Pete. Peetttteee . . . Pete
Sam has a THING for me? Well I am an archaeologist!
The other Daniel looked longingly at his wife, his partner put her arms around him and they cuddled together briefly
This certainly wasn't how she would have expected PX3-901 when she sat in the briefing room flipping her notes over coffee and avoiding Jack's stare- What was his problem anyway! She was happy, they were never meant to be together in this world. . . this world. . . A thought whacked Carter in the face as she watched herself be practically manhandled by her co-worker. What if her, Daniel and Teal'c had entered. . . again. . . some sort of psycho reality.
It might have been a mixture of the cold, lack of real food forfour hoursor just disgust; but Carter drew something out of her belt. A gun.
"Can we discuss our situation please" Carter kept her gun cocked their way but when they started saying stuff like
"Ooooo I love you to snuggle puss"
And
"Baby I missed you so much! When I thought that I wouldbe with your hotand sexy womanessagain . . ." Completely oblivious to her existence. . . Carter lost it.
"Ah!" Carter yelped, slamming her hands over her ears allow the gun to slide across the floor. "ENOUGH!" the Colonel roared at herself and the cooeingdoctor.The cold had reached the brain of SG1'sCarter by now, spreading its tendrils further and further; she picked up her gun and shot mercilessly.
Thankfully the gun she held was a tranquilliser gun. Their alternate selves swooned and heaped on top of each other. Sam ran over and separated their bodies hastily allowing Daniel to fall face first onto the floor.
"Daniel?"
"Carter?"
"Ever touch me in that way and I'll send you to a goa'uld home world ruled by Bal and make it look like an accident or suicide- Got me?"
Gulping and nodding, Jackson helped Sam move the bodies into a small room in the temple.
PX3-901, God only knows whereJack O'Neill, with two l's, was not a peaceful or spiritually enlightened man. He was good at what he did, special ops, barking orders, pointing and shooting and formulating attacks. There wasn't and particle of "pacifist" in him, and yet here he was with a blissful smile wiped across his face instead of a sarcastic smirk. TheJack before the Teal'cs had a shaved head, a placid look and was wearing some sort of robe- a flimsy one at that made it obviousO'Neill no longer believed in underpants.
But no matter what backwards reality the SG team had landed in some things never change.
"Little lost?" the zenned out Jack asked Teal'c smoothly, "We can help you find a way home"
"Thank you. . . O'Neill"
They man opposite the mammoth of a jaffa smiled cheerfully, "I am an enlightened spirit beyond names and labels, but you may call me O'Neill if it pleases your soul"
Teal'c nodded, inwardly he felt a little upstaged.
"Would you have me call you something else?"
PX3-901, Smallest room in the Temple on the top floor.
Daniel had never seen Sam loose her composure, but he was certain she was on the road to Wacky-Ville right now. The colonel was snuggled in her coat, sitting in a heap on the floor pointing her
90 at her sleeping self and Daniel- the other one- she hadn't completely lost it!
The temple that had long forgotten they had arrived to investigate was impressive by all accounts. Made of black and grey stone- probably igneous rocks- every inch was inscribed with a different writing. Daniel was fascinated with it. There was no other thing in the entire temple but the writings.
Daniel number two stirred.
Threateningly Carter shook her weapon and gave him a look saying, "Don't think I wont use it, in fact it would cheer me up right now"
PX3-901, General Jack's office
"Hey, I need to talk to Pete. . . Oh good, listen Sam's not coming home tonight. . . why?"
Don't do it Jack"Err. . . because"
Don't! She'll kill you for it"Because her and I. . . and Daniel our having dinner together. . . after that. . ."
Aww screw it! Do it! You've had a hard day! She's already mad at you"Well after that I think we'll go to the . . . No probably the pirates booty . . . Yes it is . . . well occasionally we go, as a friendship group to strip bars . . . Yes we do it's a lot of fun . . . Well actually it was his idea. . .yeah he's one suprising man. . . she sometimes joins in!"
"General O'Neill, sir?"
Jack pulled the phone away from his ear, "On minute Siler"
"Sorry Pete . . . That would be classified . . . yes all night . . . Yeah she said she missed me . . . ok, bye!"
You do realise she'll never sleep with you again?
Hammond was back and his eyes were drilling holes in Jack's skull, "What?" he said innocently. He knew perfectly well what!
PX3-901, Two miles from the temple and officially lostCrossed legged on the floor, the Teal'c who arrived here with a non-married Jackson and Carter opened both his eyes and looked pensively at himself and the non-underwear wearing O'Neill, or should he said "Child of Light".
"How might this have come to pass, do you think brother Teal'c" asked the Child of Light serenely, brushing some specks of snow off his pale robe. His colleage- the one who owned the pink mustang GT, turned the idea about in his head, analysing it like the more familiar Teal'c would. His dark face frowned as he stretched to rub his chin.
"Who did you say you arrived here with, another Sam and Daniel- no Jack?" Teal'c two was very confused and unsettled about the idea of Jack O'Neill running stargate command and was checking to make sure he had received what the other man had said correctly. Teal'c nodded in confirmation.
Apparently the suns did set, but only for three hours, then they would rise, two to the west and two in the east. The white surrounding were turning a shade of grey and black as the three men sheltered in a ice cavern hollowed into the side of a mountain. It became apparent to Teal'c one he was far away from where ever Sam and Daniel were- they'd not even seen clips from the MALP pictures.
The stars were very close on this planet; burst of light flecked the sky in patterns and swirls. They were so near that the land would never be black.
By these lights the Teal'c melted ice and shared around what little food they had between them. Jack "Child of Light" O'Neill seemed to be on a hunger strike, refusing any food to pass under his nose, but drinking deeply and greedily from his water skein.
"I believe we must sleep here this night," Teal'c one stated matter-of-factly. Jack smiled at him, an odd reminiscent smile showing the old O'Neill charm in his brown eyes.
"Looks like it"
"I don't suppose you would mind keeping your mouth closed whilst I rest my head?" Teal'c two growled, pulling the blanket that he'd retrieved from his rucksack around him tighter and partially over his head.
"Indeed"
AN- Oh yeah- Sam and Jack have slept with eac other in my mad little reality of them! But why? Hee hee I have way too much time on my hands
