AN- Don't forget Teal'c one is the one with the non married Sam and Daniel

Chapter 3- A Cold Day in Hell

An empty room in the SGC

Jack was staring at the ceiling willing it to open up into a form of wormhole and suck him up in it. He already felt like he was plummeting into a never ending space- why not make it a reality!

General O'Neill hadn't left the SGC; the hope of some development on SG1s situation had kept him on the complex with very few (and at this dark hour very irritable) people as company. Running his fingers through his tussled hair and yawning he swung his legs to the side of the bed and stood up- 6:00 am, was that all?

Well you have been here all night Jack, alone, are you really surprised?

Stress was making him hear his "conscience" more than usual. The general smoothed the folds in his uniform and stood up tall in front of the mirror by the door. He couldn't stand being without SG1- without Sam- he felt useless, he didn't know how to fix everything, how could any one expect him to- he didn't know how to fix the flag pole in his office for crying out loud!

PX3-901, Temple of Gloom

"These writings are fascinating!"

Cue the death stare from both Sam's and both Daniels subdued their child-like excitement.

Carter and Carter had seemed to have reached an understanding, but were treading on the thinnest of ice. The plan was that alternative Sam would speak to the Daniel she was not married to and the other Sam would do the same so they could attempt to figure out some plan of attack. This sort of mediator scheme seemed to be the Sams only hope for cooperation.

PX3-901, Temple of Gloom; room filled with writings in the language of the ancients

Daniel and the Texan Sam were sitting down, Daniel doing his best to prevent his eyes straying down and up Sams exposed legs- not that this version of the Colonel actually objected to such behaviour.

Looking Carter straight in the eyes, Daniel said unsurely, "Soooo. . . how did you get here?"

"Daniel, Teal'c, Jack and myself were supposed to be on vacation, hence what I'm wearing"

Daniel resisted looking down, gulping, "How is it you're scantily clad and not freezing and I'm. . . not and am slowly getting early signs of pulmonary oedema and hypothermia?"

Are all Daniels dramatics?

" I'm wearing an invisible, super-light liquid. I developed it using some naquaada I found, combining it with hydrogen at extreme temperatures actually causes the crystalline structure of the molecules. . ."

"Meaning?"

"It's like a thin rubbery suit which doesn't allow the cold in"

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"But you said . . ." Carter dropped her hands and sighed, tossing her hair over her shoulder and pulling her dress down (Daniels eyes were now bothering her slightly) the colonel pulled off her wedding ring and pocketing it (well actually she forced it down the side of her high heeled shoe) she continued, "Anyway we were allowed sometime off from duty because Teal'c killed fifth".

Daniels eyes glowed, "Killed?" he said in disbelief, hands partially shaking. It was at that moment as though a light shone through the small window and landed on the more graceful Carter's face.

Carter laughed, "Ooooh yeah, Teal'c blew that replicator to the goa'uld graveyard- that's the planet where Jack and myself decided we should leave the bodies of Ba'al, Anubis, Apophis, Isis, Nefertitti and Sokar" The alternate colonel seemed to derived pleasure from recounting that fact. Daniels mouth hung open and he looked as if he were looking at his saviour.

"We left Osiris and some of Ba'al's little jaffa friends on a separate planet and took some of the goa'ulds to our beta site for analysis"

………..

"What?"

PX3-901, Temple of Gloom; out side the temple

Carter was sitting uncomfortably; Daniels eyes were wandering up and down her and there was an odd "I-know-you-find-me-irresistible" smirk on his face

Go ahead Daniel, keep looking and I'll send you to the Px9-009, the swamp planet

The suns were crossing in the bright blue sky, much brighter than Earths, and were causing light shades of pinks and green to streak across the landscape. Carter had been given Texan Sam's spare suit and was now wearing her combats. She probed the suit; the alternative Carter sure knew what she was doing.

"So Daniel", Carter began, "Who did you come here with?"

For a slight second, Daniels face screwed up into a pain look, which was instantly replaced with a sober face, "Teal'c, Child of Light, Sam and I were transported here by a new prototype; Something Sam and Thor had been working on before our wedding, it was made as a more . . . oh, what did she describe it as. . . "A porta-gate""

Apparentlythe other me is less articulate

"Who is the "Child of Light"?"

Daniel stared into her ocean eyes long and hard and the realisation came upon her.

OH GOD!

She shook off the shudder and allowed Daniel to attempt to explain the porta-gate- Apparently it was similar to the stargate, but was a thin sheet of "Adamanquada" a new element (with adamantium and naquaada characteristics) found on Nefertitti's home world- Nefertitti being a new goa'uld from the andromeda galaxy- when Carter asked who the host was Daniel didn't respond- Carter begged him to continue. Daniel explained animatedly how they'd got to the planet, how an ice storm (gulp) separated him form everyone and the only two who could possible be together were Child of Light and Teal'c because they were in the mustang GT when the storm hit.

"How often do these storms occur?" Carter demanded, checking around for any signs a cataclysmic ice tornado was coming their way.

Daniel adjusted his glasses, "Once every 9,999 years- but after one takes place there is a strong possibility another will arrive in the next week"

"How long ago did the last one happen?"

"5 days ago now- If I've judged the suns right"

Carter sprang up of the ground and sprinted for the room where the archaeologist and her alternate self were.

General O'Neill's Private Bathroom

Heads we win, tails we loose

Jacks quarter spun up unto the air and landed in his hands

. . . Annnnd they freeze to death on an ice planet again. Best 51 out of 100

PX3-901, Temple of Gloom, room with the Ancients writing in it

"So we went to Maui, after that?"

Carter grinned, "After that we went to my home and we stayed there for a little while- we had a lot of. . ."

Carter hurtled in, hands covering her ears, slipped on the floor and landed in Daniels lap

"Yeah my and my Daniel spent sometime like that!"

Carter threw herself back from the doctor with the same look on her face as she had when she saw "herself" kiss Jackson.

"Don't look so surprised. He is . . ."

Carter grabbed her gun again. She shivered, and it wasn't the cold making her blood turn to ice. Daniels counter part emerged in the room and immediately sensed the tension, or rather revolution.

"If you two are going to behave like this we might as well be talking about who we are going to eat first" Daniel growled.

The Carter's rolled their eyes; both had a "get over yourself" expression.

"Daniel Jackson you do not talk to me like that god dammit!" the fiery Texan roared, getting to her feet. For a moment the other Carter actually believed the longhaired Sam was going to do some damage to the usually gun-shy doctor.

"I say we figure this one out alone, am I with me?" the combat wearing Carter announced, her alternate self agreed and the two of them, with out another word strode out, got into the pink mustang and left the Daniels speechless.

The shorter haired archaeologist looked crestfallen, "Is your Sam always. . .?"

"Yeah, yours?"

"Oh yeah"

"Behaviour like that can ruin a mission," Jackson (not Carter-Jackson) raised his voice, hoping he'd hear the car swerve dangerously and head back. The other Jackson grimaced, "You should try living with Sam"

The two of them stood stationary and watched and the car flew a few chasms and began hunting for Jack and the Teal'cs.

PX3-901, God only knows!

Child of Light and Teal'c seemed to have, much to Teal'c twos despair, formed a deep understanding between themselves. Teal'c one was actually beginning to wonder how this Jack would fare in General O'Neill's position; it was likely that he may handle the SGC with more attention and less recklessness, but then again those were some of the few qualities that Teal'c loved about Jack O'Neill.

"How much food remains, my warrior friend?" the Child of Light had fanned their food over the ice below them.

"That is all" Teal'c of the underwear wearing Jack stated. "I have no other"

It seemed as though the suns darkened for a second and the ground shook, "So we will be dead in. . . A week- give or take"

The Teal'c who was married by Tauri customs, an idea that was disturbing the Teal'c one, was apparently not an optimist.

Out of nowhere what must have felt like a miracle happened; a pink mustang did a 180 degree turn abruptly on the ice.

"My car!"

The green dress wearing Carter leapt out the passenger's side, "Teal'c, Jack . . . and Teal'c- get in!" her voice was urgent and demanding . . . almost threatening.

"Calm yourself, my child" Jack cooed, Sam Jackson grabbed his robe and threw him at- not in- the vehicle.

Colonel Sam Carter-Jackson's eyes looked as if they could set something on fire- Jack's flimsy robe perhaps. "IF YOU DON'T GET IN THAT CAR RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME I'M GONNA LET IT RIP YOU A PART AND I WILL WATCH GLADLY . . . from a safe distance"

"Anger is not the path to . . ."

"YOU! CAR! NOW!" the shorthaired Carter yelled, waving her gun at him. Jack jumped in- he didn't like where that gun was pointing. Obliged her request, the others filed in after him, now all looking a bit shaken.

The mustang rocketed off at what must have been some kind of record, swerving craters and jumping anything that dare stand in Teal'c two's cars path.

"HOW DID YOU FIND US?" Teal'c two shouted over the roar of the air pushing past and the growl of the engines.

"This Carter (the one driving) took me back to where she found the car- we drove about for a while till we eventually saw the mountains" the alternate longhaired Carter waved her hands over her shoulder, "Back there and we figured you would move you there"

"I am grateful you saved us, Sam- Thought I was going to die!" Teal'c two then gazed around his magnificent beast of a car. He cast his eyes toward the back of the car, "Where's you husband?"

If only he was in there!

The other Sam shuddered as she guided the car through the air.

"He's at the temple" Carter sniggered, "With himself"

The colonel in the green dress watched gleefully at the confused expression wandering across the other passenger's faces. "He'll be fine!"

Suddenly the Earth shook violently and the team could hear what sounded like a giant entity slithered down from high in the mountains.

"Carters, what was that?" Teal'c two demanded unsurely, the Carter in the passenger side didn't respond- she wasn't even sure she could answer if she wanted to.

PX3-901, Temple of Gloom

The Daniel Jacksons (Well Daniel Jackson and Daniel Jackson Carter) were not fine; in fact they were huddled together in the entrance of the temple, looking out over the landscape.

"Where are they?" the non-married Daniel Jackson stuttered; he was no longer shaking from cold but from fear. "We are going to die of a horrible and bloody death if they just leave us out here"

"Don't worry, I've seen people survive after being thrown 100 ft in the air, and hurtling back down again"

The Carter who was outside the temple earlier talking to Daniel Jackson Carter had realised something, something bad.

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Where they wearing parachutes?"

"Obviously!"

"I'M GOING TO DIE!" Daniel screamed with every force he could summon from his trembling body, his cry ran through the air, piercing it- his voice was so high pitched and full of fear. The other, slightly more relaxed, Daniel Jackson clapped his hand over the others mouth. "Do you want to have your body crushed by snow?" As restricted as the other man was, he shook his head.

There was a low grumble; something was slipping across the surface towards them.

The Daniels froze.

The area the team (including the Carters, Teal'c and Child of Light who were charging towards the temple) were on a plane, which was shouldered by several large, ice-covered mountains.

Daniel Jackson adjusted his glasses- the snow pouring down from each of the mountains was enough to drown the entire area they were on- and that was pretty large. The Daniel both focused desperately outwards, the frozen water was spilling down the mountain sides- any optimism that may have been left in their situation ebbed rapidly.

"What's the chance we're going to live through that?" asked the archaeologist who had caused the wrath of nature to whack him in the face.

"Honestly? Not much"

PX3-901, Pink Mustang

"CARTER, ANSWER ME!"

The Carters were muttering between themselves, Jack clutched the seat and Teal'c one continued to look serene and calm. The other Teal'c however had clearly lost control of his faculties and was full on loosing his marbles. "CARTERS!"

"Avalanche!" snapped the Colonel driving.

Snow began to run down rapidly and mercilessly.

"We have to get the Daniels" the Texan Carter uttered almost inaudibly, "If we don't. . ."

"We're going to get them, but this car wont survive the blast"

"It might" Teal'c two said matter-of-factly. "We didn't exactly buy this car" He almost flushed pink.

The shorthaired Colonel grinned, "How exactly did you come by this car?" The man gazed out the window and replied frantically, "We live, I tell you"

The mustang GT was now in sight of the temple, the snow at their back. Tonnes and tonnes of it was thundering behind them, suddenly Sam Carter (the one who found the idea of being married to Daniel Jackson a terrifying thought) began slowing down, the Texan Sam pointed at something on the dash board, "You want to stop- press this" She was waving at a button with "SPIKE" on it.

The tyres were beginning to loose control over the terrain, the feminine Sam touched the button once and several inches of metal erupted out of the bottom of the car and surrounded the tyres.

The other Carter was speechless.

"A little something I've been doing in my spare time" she explained innocently.

The suns were casting shadows over the body of snow, now a matter of meters from the car. The driving seat Sam's right hand hovered over the "SPIKE" button.

The Daniels were in sight.

Carter hit the button, the passengers jolted dangerously forward, the two other men jumped in, slammed the doors and the car sprinted off.

No sooner had they began to gain speed, a large boulder of ice hit the side of the car, causing it to go into a straight dive into a shallow crater. Trying to escape, more snow hit every part of the car before a giant river of ice moved in from behind the car and thrust it on to its back.

Gaping, the Daniels, who had been thrown into the car, watched the light of the four dazzling suns being blocked out.

General Jack's Office

JACK! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I'M SURE THEY ARE FINE!

Jack couldn't help feeling something was wrong- drastically wrong.

With this thought plaguing his existence he stormed into the gate room and demanded that they tried to dial into PX3-901 again.

Jack grabbed his communication device, "Carter do you read me? Carter!"

He shouted angrily at it for several minutes, hoping she would shout back at him.

He allowed the com to slip out of his hands and hit the floor- he was sending a team after her- he didn't care about protocol- something had gone dreadfully and perhaps fatally wrong on the ice planet.