Lucky Me
Chapter 049
"There you two are!" D-M came running up to us, paused, had a little smirk on her face, "And what have you two been doing?"
I sighed.
"Finding out that I have an allergy to mistletoe."
My cheeks burned a deeper red as I heard a noise of disgust come from him. I felt like dying.
"Well, whatever, we're about to have dinner, Ah was told to hunt you two down." She smirked, grabbed an arm from each of us and began to tug us along.
"Actually, I kind of lost my appetite," he muttered, his voice dripping with disgust.
How the heck was I supposed to know I had an allergenic reaction to mistletoe! Couldn't you see it? The mistletoe, the make-shift romantic lighting given by the Christmas lights, and after I freaked out about having that mischievous little plant everywhere in my room he grinned about it all. It could have been a perfect scene in a teen movie. But what went wrong?
Well, he leaned in closer, and I met him half way, not saying a thing, it was then, when interruptions were not possible, that I freakin' sneezed.
And he was right in front of me; I was never going to live that down.
I as going to go tomorrow and check myself into a mental hospital for the seriously helplessly able to embarrass themselves!
"Too bad, Jean said to drag you down, you don't have to eat, but you have to be there." D-M, still hauling us down the steps, added happily, "Oh, and you'll love what we're having for dessert."
"What's that?" he asked still sounding repulsed. I was permanently red, I felt like stripping off my skin to the 'black' underneath just to hide my embarrassment.
"Lime Jell-O!" her smile got even bigger, "I made it!"
I groaned as he made a gagging noise.
Dinner was interesting.
I'd been saying a lot of things were interesting. Okay, so let me try this again, dinner was something else.
As in an unidentifiable something.
Apparently a lot of the people considered themselves "master chefs" so all of them tried their hand at making something, what they made could be identified as a new species.
"That is more disgusting than the cafeteria food."
"Not so," Adam debated poking the stuff, "I've seen caf food that can communicate, this is nothing but-"
"A great big blob of something that shouldn't be allowed to live," Bobby-Jerk chimed in.
"Kind of looks like something Remy makes when he's alone in the kitchen," Jubilee pointed out, which got a bread stick thrown at her.
"So are we going to go hungry?"
"We can eat this," Scott said, sounding a bit unsure as a bubble popped on the top of this 'mysterious matter'.
"Hopefully before it eats us," someone else I didn't know (which was the majority of the people) threw in.
"Or?"Another person I should, but didn't know, asked.
"We can break down and order pizza."
Oh man, they were going to break the bank on that one!
The glop in the pot bubbled a few more times in protest, before some brave soul slapped the lid back on it.
After eating (again) pizza (again) that night, I was cheerfully sitting in the biggest room in the mansion (I was forced to sit there and 'behave'). We were being forced to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" over half the people could (and were) quoting the movie in sync with each other.
One person I was disturbed not to see was my grandmother, I hadn't seen hide nor polished nail of her since I got back. Most of the time this wouldn't be anything bad, but this was my Grandmother we was talking about.
There were three other people I realized were missing, one of them being the Professor.
I shuddered to think what Grandma might have been doing with the three missing males.
Maybe they should let her out on the "field" with the bad guys. Surely they wouldn't want any of her come-on lines and probably become monks or join Greenpeace or something to prove it.
When they decided to take a break in the movie (which the other, non-quoting half cheered about) for the sake of sanity, and to open presents (some) it was four days before Christmas, but they rationalized that they never knew what might happen in those four days.
Some Apollo-lips or something (shoot me, I couldn't get the names right but who could?) might decide to resurrect and try to take over the world with fluffy pink and blue pony riding bunnies.
Scott didn't laugh at this, which was unusual because the carrot rammed up his back side seemed to be nibbled away…maybe that's why he was scared, that the rabbits would eat his hinny carrot. Who knew?
One questioning look from Jean and I decided I needed to rope in my over-active imagination. Or at least learn to do something so off the wall that even Jean wouldn't want to be in my head.
So back to the presents, the lights were turned on, and the presents passed out.
Most of the stuff was clothes, books, or something equally as boring. The oddest gift was when Mr. Remy opened the box from an "anonymous" sender and lo and behold, Chris' anatomically correct Gingerbread man was
there!
"What de heck is dis?"
"My cookie!" Chris shouted, dumbfounded that the thing had survived from wherever it had run off to (last known location: Professor's desk). Everyone had a look of "huh" and some people just busted out laughing.
"Kookie, where're your gifts?" D-M asked smugly as I sat on my rump, picking feathers from my wings (the ones that had fallen out but not fallen off) when I gave her my best death glare (still nothing compared to Scott's I
know, but I was working on it!). "Did Santa forget about you?"
"I guess so."
"Couldn't be! You haven't been naughty enough."
Thank you, Bobby-Jerk, and where the heck had you been? Wait, Emma walked in after him, now I didn't want to know, I just wanted a barf bag.
Ick.
"Could someone go get Hank and Adam?" Miss Oreo asked, and everyone either ignored her question, or rolled their eyes.
"Pinky and the Brain at it again?" Bobby asked, throwing himself down between the two people on the couch.
"Why not make Kookie go, isn't like she has anything else to do." D-M commented, and I glared and grumbled but said 'okay'. At least it got me away from her at that moment. I went down to the "secret laboratory" to find the lab hermits; I wondered what they did down there all the time?
Building their own civilization out oh…oh crap!
I pressed myself against the wall, my eyes as big as saucers, my hand clutching the fabric above my heart as it pumped as if it were in a weight lifting competition. I had heard the loudest, most 'I'm-going-to-eat- you-growl' in my life as I was walking and I almost had brown pants it scared me so bad.
"Here, birdy, birdy, birdy."
What the heck? I crawled out of my dent in the wall, and my hurt wing let me know full well that it did not like being slammed into solid surfaces, but I didn't like being next to something that sounded like it could eat me.
There were three bars in a window shaped thingie in the middle of this huge steel (it was a gray and shiny metal door, if it wasn't steel then may Superman come and correct me) door with a pair of claws reaching through it and a pair of enormous golden eyes.
"I bet you taste good." And then a long tongue licked across a pair of bright white teeth, oh wait, sorry, they were fangs. "Why don't you come closer, little birdy, and let me pet your pretty head."
I swallowed hard and stared at the hand as it lightly clawed at the bars that held it in (okay, so the reinforced thick –I hope- metal door held it in). Whatever it was (it sounded like a he, but with these people, you just never knew) it was a big whatever.
"What's wrong, birdy? Afraid of the kitty?" A nasty sound that I thought was a laugh followed before it continued, "I bet you could make me purr, and I could make you sing."
Then a distinct growl.
And then another growl, but this one came from the hallway.
"Leave her the hell alone, Creed!" Mr. Logan said in a deep voice that even I would obey without smart aleck thought. It was deep and scary.
"What is it, runt?" Then a hand with the clawed fingers came through, "Afraid she'll like me like the other little idiot did?" He then did the skin-crawling, creepy laugh thing again.
"Move on, Blyt, leave this," again, I won't repeat the words he used to describe this 'Creed' guy, "to me."
I swallowed and nodded. It was when I heard Mr. Logan's claws extend, and I picked up my pace, there was bound to be blood.
After admitting that I was allergic to mistletoe to Dr. Hank he chased me around with a needle until he got a blood sample, and also shot me with some medicine. Grandma Arty locked me out of my room, but left some clothes out of the room for me.
I guess it made sense that I wouldn't be able to go back into my mistletoe laden room even if I had some medicine going through my system. Scott and Jean said I'd stay with them, I said I'd be right there…after midnight.
So, there I was, sitting in the now empty family room/den watching the clock in the dark with an unopened box in my hands. It was the thing my mo-Heather gave me, saying it was from my Dad. You know, when she made it legal that she hated my guts.
Correction, she hated my wings and my blood.
The same blood….she might not be mutant but I still had her blood.
"I thought you'd be long gone down to the boathouse by now," Adrian yawned and plopped down beside me. "It's freezing in this place; at least you get a room with a heater." He then let a few minutes tick by, turned to
me and finally asked, "Why are you down here?"
"Waiting for midnight."
"Oh-kay," Adrian raised one eyebrow at me, "why?"
"Because of—," I struggled to find the words but finally settled on, "I have my reasons." I said gripping what I was holding under my blanket tighter.
"Come on, Kookie, I didn't mean to pry, but I'm just kind of," and then wham, he launched at me, knocking me off the couch and sending the little box I'd been holding flying. Before I could recover, I saw him go over and
pick up the box this incredibly annoying smug look on his face, "Nosy."
"Adrian!" I growled, crawling up to the couch and then finally making it to my feet, "Give that back."
"Why?" the little maple leaf teased, "Is it from a secret boyfriend or something?"
I felt my cheeks burn red and was thrilled that we were in the dark—wait, that sounded wrong!
"Adrian," I used the lethal-do-as-I-say-Summers voice, "Give it back."
"Or what?" He smirked, looking at the box and then at me. "What's in here anyway?"
"It's a gift," I seethed. I didn't want him there for this. I wanted to be alone.
"Uh-huh, well," he glanced over at the clock, "It's midnight." And then he tossed it to me, his smile never fading. "Open it quick, I'm curious."
I ground my teeth together, "This is kinda private."
I gave him a steady look, and he said he got the idea, rolled his eyes, and left.
"Now that is no way to treat a boy, kitten." Arty. I rolled my eyes and stuffed my little box into my jeans pocket.
"Grand-ma," I half growled with a semi-sweet smile, turning around. "Is there something I can do for—Grandma!"
She had her nurse costume on!
"Yes?" She had the nerve to ask me as if there was nothing wrong with her, a lady in her fifty's walking around in a short nurse-like uniform with stilettos and fishnet stockings! Hello! That is the friggin' definition of wrong.
"W-wh-what's going on?" I backed up over several things (actually I think it was my feet every time but I was in shock and in danger of losing my stomach!).
Arty jutted out one side of her hips, rolled them (I was turning green at this time), and said in a honeyed voice, "You aren't the only one who caught attention in this house, you know."
She struck another pose with her hand going through her short dyed brown hair, the other hand on her hip, "You had to get all your sex appeal from someone."
Probably why she didn't have any left. That was so gross.
"R-r-right, well, uh, as much as I'd like to sicken—uh! Stick around, I got to go—throw up." I left and went to find a ride to Scott and Jean's. I didn't want to know about any anything she had planned. After midnight, my grandma in her nurses' outfit, in the mansion—it was like a twisted version of the ghost of Christmas present! Ick.
Before I could get the visual image out of my mind, I found him and he didn't look too happy.
Wonder what was wrong with him?
And then I saw Emma (wearing a smirk that would make the devil jealous) walk out of the kitchen after him.
That woman made more rounds than the ice-cream truck!
I woke up in the early morning because that's when all the freakin' alarm clocks were set for in the boathouse. When I killed the one in my room, I heard three others going off.
I swore I heard Scott's power, uh, sound, and then Jean going muttering about 'not again'. I really didn't have time to investigate because I went on a mission to kill any loud, annoying, beep creating things. I stumbled out of the bedroom and went for the first noise,
Ah-ha! It was in the bathroom.
Being the very genius I was known for being, I tripped over an article of clothing, making a sound between splat and thud (a spud? Th-at?). Great, I was groggy, tired, and now a smear on the tiled floor of the second floor bathroom in the boathouse. Oh, my life was perfect!
I looked at my feet to see what I tripped over, and about jumped out of my skin (then I really would look like I smeared myself on the floor) oh gross!
Scott's boxers!
Gag, I thought I was going to be sick. Was this some kind of cruel payback for sneezing while he was there? And close? Someone up there had a really odd sense of humor!
I backed up on my hands until I touched something else, looking down I saw it was-oh come on, now I was man handling Jean's bra. I stumbled back out of the room, as the other two occupants were coming into the hall from their bedroom.
"Kookie?" Jean asked, I said I was going to go scrub my hands and feet off after I gouged my eyes out with spoons. Scott's eyebrows hit his hairline.
"I'm going back to bed," was my clarifying statement and I disappeared into the guest bedroom once again.
Three hours later, (ninish, yes, that means that these sick Summers get up at six) I was laying in bed with my box in my hand. I didn't have time to open it earlier because of Adrian's little fiasco and the-ugh, Grandma's appearance.
So now was the time to open the gift from Daddy. Heather said he had it made a while ago for this birthday... I wondered why? Why not the sixteenth like everyone else did?
I opened it, and I just felt like crying (okay, so I did start to cry, get a gift from your passed away Dad and see what you do!). Pushing myself up to a sitting position, I took my present out of the jewelry box and examined it more closely.
The whole sadness came on again, that sense of complete worthlessness about him losing his life in order to save mine. I couldn't remember if I was or wasn't the target of the gun thinking about it. Of course, after having this whole Batman-type fiasco happen to me, it's amazing that I didn't use all the free "pound-then-preach" fight tactic to get back at those people who killed my dad. Even though I always would know I was the chief cause.
"I suck," I muttered, slipping the present back into its box. I decided to get up, get dressed, and hoped that I didn't walk in on the couple of the house making out somewhere.
I mean, come on, both of their—unmentionables were in the same bathroom. Ick!
It was Christmas Eve and I did get a great surprise party at the mansion, even the people I didn't know were singing and I requested it never happen again (this, of course was under my breath). I got a bunch of clothes (Tee-shirts, thankfully, and they were all tailored to fit my wings), some odd knick knacks and things. I couldn't put them up in my room because I would end up sneezing my head off and Dr. Hank would start chasing me around with another needle saying I needed more medicine.
Once again, it was nearing midnight in the mansion. I would have gone to the boat house, but I wanted to be here because I was forewarned about how married couples usually celebrate Christmas. I was thinking I didn't want to know anymore about the Summer's than Scooby-Doo boxers and pink lacy bras.
But what's even worse was that he confronted me about what had ticked him off a few nights ago when I saw him storming out of the kitchen with Emma behind him.
Apparently Snow Queen said something along the lines of, "Your little girlfriend isn't very single minded, one look at Donovan St. Loy and she became so hot and bothered, it's amazing she didn't take him right then and there." Not a direct quote, but close enough. "The ice statues even started to melt."
She had it out against me for some reason, sheesh, just because I (not that she knew) bought some rather questionable things at a store wearing her face suddenly I was her worst enemy!
"So you terrorize the entire mansion, and then take off with a rich guy to hide?" He was teasing me. I was content to sit on my little loveseat with my hot cup of cocoa and do the total 'chick' thing. (That would be watching the snow fall in a darkened room except for a nice fire flickering behind me.)
"Yup."
"A girl after my own heart." He laughed, walked in, and sat down right beside me.
"Is there something I can do for you?" I asked trying to be as cold as Bobby-Jerk in ice form.
"Maybe." He smiled at me, completely ignoring the whole little 'ice' shoulder I was giving him. "But I do have good news."
I quirked an eyebrow at this, "Oh, and what is that?"
"Kurt's in bed asleep."
"Kurt's in bed asleep?"
He nodded with a huge grin on his face.
"What's—oh, oh!" What he meant suddenly hit me over the head. I audibly swallowed; he wasn't too weirded out by the last attempt? I was still completely embarrassed about the whole mess (oh brother, I shouldn't have said mess thinking about the whole-sneeze-in-the-face thing). Suddenly I itched all over my neck. "You aren't, like, still—I don't know—sickened by me?"
He laughed at this before going all major romantic on me again.
"I'm really dying to replace that," he sniffed, "memory with a much pleasanter one." That's when we started the familiar attempt to—well, heck, if you didn't know, where the heck have you been?
This time it was really going to happen! No furry blue priest man, no angry Jean to come storming in my mind (okay, so she hadn't really, but according to my 'sources' she was probably preoccupied….gah!), and no annoying mistletoe to activate latent allergies! Just me leaning into him, and him leaning toward me.
So close, so warm, his arm rested behind us on the couch, the other took up the familiar spot under my chin to guide me to him (I was bad with directions, but not that bad!). I had every kind of butterfly and bug fluttering in my stomach, as my heart beat so fast I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack.
Again, like the before, I felt his nice, hot (and thankfully freshly brushed -I would hate to be the one to say 'Go kiss Crest first', I was not sure but I think it would ruin the moment) breath on my lips, eyes fluttering close as as I almost there. The place I had been trying to get to for months to hit— his lips.
Yes, I turned into a sappy romance novel, better than one where people would kill me with a lousy ending, but back to him and that kiss.
Again, like before, so close, so dang close.
"I thought I was going to get to see some action!" Came a loud, familiar voice that had me jumping about ten feet off the couch, but instead I only managed to jump enough to get my very hot cocoa all over myself and him. We both took about two seconds to react and started doing a 'hothothot' dance by shaking our clothes away from our bodies.
I looked over at my Grandmother who I was plotting to hurt; she only smirked as he cursed about his favorite shirt being ruined.
"You two were putting that fire to shame." Arty winked, "Good going, kitten!"
He sighed and said goodnight to us (ha-ha) ladies and then went to bed. I glared at my Grandmother as she stood in the door way as proud as a chicken that had just laid a golden egg.
"Was that really necessary?"
"Next time speed it up," she instructed, "Or else you'll be doing that 'almost kiss crap' until your thirty."
That's it. I gave up. I guess I'd never get to kiss him.
And then my stubbornness came in.
I didn't care if I had to tie and gag everyone in a fifty mile radius! I would throw them all in the Danger Room with the big shiny cannons and then I would finally get to kiss him!
"I will do it," I shouted.
"As long as you don't do it in the living room." I turned around to see Adam standing there.
Sheesh, couldn't a girl have a maniacal fit without being spied on?
It was Christmas!
A time for eating, more gifts, and surprises!
The biggest surprise was on the female wing when the heater kicked back on. Apparently there was a disgusting stench floating throughout the halls on their side of the building. They found an open milk cartoon in Paige's room, and thought they solved the problem; only thinking that the rotted milk stink would take a while to air out.
I smirked evilly at them as they went throughout the house looking for air fresheners. If they only knew!
The best thing though, about the whole day was Grandma's gift to me (it wasn't anything latex!). I woke when someone jumped on my layers of blankets and sung 'Happy Birthday Jesus'. I about flung her across the room.
"Darcy!" I screamed, leapt at her at the same time. She laughed at me as I grabbed on to my thin, blonde headed little sister, and like a true 'girl girl' I started to bawl!
"I thought you might like her." Grandma smiled at us as I cried. Darcy was laughing and suddenly we had an audience. There I was in shorts and a tank top (loose fitting) as soon as I remember that, I hugged Darcy to my chest, not for any emotional sake, but for the sake of modesty. "I told you I had to pick something up outta state."
For once, I could honestly say that I loved my sex-crazed Grandma!
It was much later that night when me and my baby sister snuck away from the crowd as they got loud and carried on about previous fights I had no clue about. And after I got insulted again in front of my sister by Emma.
I told you, that woman had it out for me or something!
She had the nerve to say in a crowded room with my sister behind me, "Some great X-Men you'll be, your first mission and you end up in medical hold for almost two weeks. In no time you'll be nothing more than another tombstone."
I gritted my teeth and felt like decking her, but Jean 'spoke' in my mind. She told me not to let Emma get to me; she was in a crabby mood because of a bad business deal or something and was looking for easy targets.
So back to the slightly happier part of the day. Me and Darcy were walking outside talking, something I never thought would seem so special to me.
"How did mo-Heather let you come up here?"
The fourteen-year-old shrugged.
"Got me, Grandma asked and Mom said yes and basically packed me up and everything. It was weird, but never doubt God's small blessings."
I tried not to snort at that comment. "So, how's life?"
"Life is-" her eyebrows drew closer together, "is life, I guess."
"Thanks for the deep, thoughtful answer." I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes, "So what did Grandma get you as a gift?"
This stopped her in her tracks; I turned as she tipped her head to the side and smiled (she had dad's smile). "Silly, this was my gift from, Grandma."
"Oh, uh, well," I felt nervous and embarrassed, since when had my sister wanted me around? Okay, well, maybe since she didn't have me around anymore, but really she wasn't missing anything important…at least not in this Kookie's opinion. A thought struck me, "Darcy, the last time you were here, you said you wish you could tell-ooff!"
Snowball to the side of my face!
"Score," someone screamed triumphantly and then crazy laughter from one of the many people I did not know."I'd run if I were you!"
That's when I realized we had wandered right into the middle of the snow ball, no man's zone of the lawn. Needless to say we were pretty close to looking like snowmen when I and Darcy were finally able to make it out of range. My wing throbbed, drats, that meant I had to go back down to the secret laboratory of Dr. Hank's to get some of the 'feel good' stuff.
It was a great Christmas, except I hadn't gotten my kiss!
But there was always New Years!
