Lucky Me
Chapter 069
I picked up one of the pebbles from the sand and tossed it into the lake. When that tiny splash didn't help, I sighed and found something with weight to it. The bigger the object the better I felt, but it was fleeting.
It wasn't my fault I was once again feeling down and depressed about life and those who told me how to run it.
Hopefully, my lying hadn't improved so much that that lie was buyable.
It was Scott again. After the episode of embarrassing myself by bawling like a baby, I got the next two days off from leadership training and training in general (which meant I had to elect someone else for Julie to practice on. Chris was the victim. How'd it go? Let's just say the Professor left the room chewing several types of aspirin). It was a blessing to not be lectured at so early in the morning.
Why was I upset over something that apparently made me happy? Well, let's just add in the fact that today (the second day off) Scott, in his own weird way, suggested we grab breakfast in town, just him and me. I was stunned, but agreed. It was awkward until he started to talk about dumb things that no one really cared about unless they had run out of everything else in the world to say.
When we ended up at Harry's Hideaway I wasn't surprised, and thankfully, ordering gave us an excuse to ignore one another.
I hid behind the menu until the waitress began to get sick of just bringing me water (Scott refused to let me have any sort of carbonated liquids so early in the morning, yet Mr. Logan got to have beer any time!). After another awkward playing-with-my-straw-to-avoid-his-eyes ten minutes I finally forced myself to talk.
"Jean put you up to this, didn't she?"
His face turned a lighter shade of pink than his glasses.
And the dog's name was Bingo.
Scott gave a small smile. "That noticeable?"
"Yeah, it is." Sad to say, but it was really obvious Scott wasn't here by his idea. "What's this for?"
"She thought it would be good if you left the mansion for some time. You don't spend much time out of your room, training room, and Danger Room these days."
All because you, Mr. Anti-Adopted-Daughter man, who kept telling me to do better. Did he even know it was impossible to do better than my best?
"Oh," was all I could say, and then the waitress (annoyed and grumpy) deposited the plates on the table (and I ordered another water just to make her feel even more annoyed than I was).
Scott cleared his throat. "Also to—get to know you better since you hardly come to the boathouse anymore."
Because I was working too freakin' hard to try to prove I was worth your freakin' time! I stabbed my eggs; I probably looked like a freak doing it.
"Oh." Was my only reply.
"So, what is it you-"
"You don't have to do this," I rushed out the words before my brain checked them off as 'not stupid.' "Really, I mean, you don't really want to do this."
"I never said that, Bly-Kookie." Blyt. Again with Blyt. I was really starting to hate my 'alter-ego' (even more than I already did because of the annoying spandex that liked to ride up) for stealing all of his attention (the alter-ego, not the spandex).
I faked a smile. "Really, it's okay. I can spend the whole day in the arcade or something and you can do whatever it is you do."
Though I couldn't see his eyes, but I knew he was trying to read between my verbal lines. I kept my smile bright and my eyes wide to make sure I looked innocent and sincere (that should have tipped him off that I was a big fat liar). I didn't want Scott hanging around me only because his wife told him to; I wanted Scott to want to be my father figure because he wanted to be.
"Are you sure?" My heart twisted violently in my chest. "There are things I need to do in town, but are you sure it's all right?"
Ignoring the little voice in me that was basically crying for the truth to be told, I brightened my smile.
"Yeah, I'm sure." He nodded, and after five more minutes, he finished his meal and told me he'd be done with things around one. Scott gave me some money to pay for the meal and for 'playing' around with. I was supposed to meet back with him, here, at one for lunch before heading back to the mansion.
I watched as Scott smiled at the guy behind the cash register and then walk out of the place. I continued to stab my eggs and the waitress stopped bringing me water after thirty minutes of jabbing my fork on the plate.
I broke the dumb plate when my strength decided to kick in for some unknown reason.
Frustrated, I remembered throwing a twenty down and saying to keep the change before storming out of the building.
Scott kept his word and I broke mine. I didn't bump into him, opting to go to the park instead of the arcade and just sat on the swing set pushing myself back and forth.
The whole time I was trying to beat it into my head that Scott was not my Dad. He might be in that role legally, but he wasn't there in his heart or mind. I gritted my teeth when that cold realization slapped me.
Still didn't explain why I was at the lakeside at midnight, right?
Okay, so to continue with the little depressing story of mine.
So, after a while, it ended up being one and the same procedure was taken about not talking about X things and sticking to the neutral subjects like 'didn't the sky look really blue today?' We got back to the mansion, and it was about eight before I decided that maybe I should visit the boathouse more often (truth be told, it was that I left my wallet in Scott's car and he parked it down at the boathouse). Deciding to fly, I landed quietly on the deck right next to the kitchen's sliding glass door, which was conveniently opened to allow the breeze to come through.
That's when everything went from bad to worse.
"...did just what you suggested and she just shut me out."
"Did you try and talk to her about anything?" I heard Jean ask. I guess my mental shields must have kicked in high gear because I didn't think she realized I was there. "Anything at all, besides mutants and the X-Men?"
Scott sounded overly stressed with this whole situation.
"Yes! She wasn't responding, just kept giving one-worded answers and not offering anything more than that." Then there came an agitated noise. "I don't know what else we can do to make her open up. The others like Logan and Gambit can be sealed tight, but Kookie-it bothers me to see her this way."
"It's upsetting to me as well," Jean piped in and I really just wish they'd both shut-up at that point. It hurt to hear it the first time, but thinking on it just made it seem like overkill. "Kookie just doesn't seem happy."
Could it be possibly because people were always talking behind my back? Keeping things about me from me? Noooo that would have had nothing to do with it!
I wasn't sure what I should do, go in and confront them or stick around and hear whatever there was to hear. Since my body had been thrown into stunned mode I waited to see what they had to say.
"Isn't this why we wanted her to go to Dr. Frese?" Scott questioned. My heart cracked a fraction as my eyes start sting. "Because she needed someone to talk to about whatever it is going on in her head?"
Yeah, I guessed it was easier to pay someone to listen to my problems than to have my parents ask. Maybe I wouldn't tell them, but the least they could do was ask.
I found my wings once they went on to talking about random, boring, married-people things and I ended up lakeside. Where I had been for what felt like forever.
At least things couldn't get worse.
Crash.
Oh great, now it's raining. I was stuck in 'Young Frankenstein' or something. I sighed and picked myself up and made my way back to the mansion via air. I hadn't had much practice flying with wet feathers, but it wasn't too hard (because the feathers had this natural thing that made water roll off of them, at least that's what Mr. Warren said).
I learned not to lock my window. Who knew when I have a freak flying need and take off without telling everyone from my bedroom to the front door where I was going. I was able to sneak in without anyone knowing I did so.
Well, almost anyone.
"It's about time!" I nearly tripped on my own feet when the voice made itself known.
"What the heck are you doing in my room in the dark?" He flipped the lamp light on, "And," I drawled out, "on my bed?" My prissy cat lay curled up on his stomach, purring because he was petting it. Dumb cat. "With my cat."
"Because I was getting tired waiting for you and the floor isn't comfortable." He propped himself up on his elbows to give me a steady gaze. "And, I quote, you said, 'Come in a few days around ten, and we can have whatever meeting you want' end quote. You're late."
I stiffened; those were the exact words Scott said to me during D-M's meeting (which I still didn't know anything about and they wouldn't tell me no matter how much I asked). "I see."
"Where were you?"
"Out," I replied flippantly. "What is it you wanted?" His face soured.
"I really don't want to talk to you about this if you're in a bad mood. I've been on the wrong side of your temper enough to know I'll probably end up with my head through a wall." As insulting as it was, implying I had a bad temper, I couldn't help but smile at him.
Just because I was ticked off, upset, depressed, or some other emotion that should not be visited without proper medication, it didn't mean that 'Jack', had to be on the receiving end of it. I should save it for a special occasion. Like when I finally lost my mind and declared that I would take over the world by mutated frogs and rabid rabbits or something.
"Okay, fine, have it the less threatening way." I faked a pouted. "You're no fun."
"I just don't like concussions." My bad mood was slowly lifting with every smart aleck reply he gave. "Anyway, what I wanted this 'meeting' for was to just-you know, talk."
"Talk?" I repeated in slight disbelief. "Just talk?"
He gave a half laugh. "Yeah, talk. You know, communicate via words from mouth? Talk." I grabbed and straddled my computer chair; he sat up on my bed. "This is sorta serious."
The Dumb Cat protested with a meow and then jumped on my bed and began to clean itself with its tongue.
I felt a sarcastic remark wiggle around on my tongue but I bit its head off before I could get into trouble by saying it.
"Okay, so what's so serious?"
"Us." Wasn't it amazing how quickly a conversation could get uncomfortable? It took, what, . two seconds? "Don't look at me that way!"
"I thought there was no 'us' left, just two people living and sometimes working together."
"I know you probably want to—kick me in a very prized area—"
"But?" I offered, trying to fight off a vision of me doing such a task.
"But, I still want to be friends." I felt my heart sag slightly; I didn't really want him to say more. After all, after remembering Scott and Jean's little Kookie conversation…well, who would want such a nut bar for a girlfriend? He opened his mouth to continue saying something but then snapped it shut.
"What?"
'Jack' flung his legs over the side of my bed, got up, and sat down again on the foot of my bed, elbows resting on his knees with his fingers interlaced. It must be serious, taking in his body language (like Mr. Logan said to) his knuckles were pinkish-white.
"Look, I know I acted-badly. I was a jerk. I got upset for a dumb reason and decided to make you jealous by doing something stupid. I hurt you."
My protest shrunk down back into my prideful center.
"Anyway, you-I didn't know that I was treating you like crap until you basically rejected me. Yeah, I realize now I wasn't acting like such a great guy or someone who you would find-attractive? But I still-I mean, I want to be friends."
I felt sick and happy all at the same time.
"Basically you want more, but you just want to be friends?" I wanted the same thing, but if I told him as much, I had a feeling we'd miss out on the whole 'friends' thing. When he nodded, I bit my lip to hide a smile. "I think I'll definitely like trying to be friends again. I miss having you around."
Then came his knee-melting smile. The one that made me want to say 'friends? Screw that babe! Let's get a chapel and a hotel room!' Okay, maybe not thatextreme, but anyway you know what I was talking about!
"I better get out of here; don't want Jean hunting me down." He got up, but must have noticed the slumping of my shoulders. "Or I could stay if it's that important to you." There was a smile in his voice but he missed the point entirely. What a guy thing to do.
"It's not that-"
"Jean, then? And again?"
"What do you mean 'again'?" I got defensive, but I didn't get out of the chair. That would have been too much work.
"You get upset mostly when it's either something to do with Jean or me-maybe I am a 'was' upset, and when it comes to Scott, you start firing off your mouth and eyes like they were machine guns." I stuck out my tongue at him and swiveled in my chair so my back was to him.
"I do notget upset over Jean's absurd opinions," I muttered darkly.
"But you love her interventions, there's no denying that either." Sure there was, there was always the path of outright denial. "But what do you say about ditching this place for a night and going out-purely as a friend thing this Friday? I've got nothing better to do."
Gee thanks! With such sweet words like that, no wonder you didn't have anything better to do on a Friday night!
That Wednesday, I woke up to a lot of commotion right outside my door. I picked my weary head up from the book it had fallen in (books did not make very comfortable pillows in case anyone was wondering) and made my way to the door.
It was Chris nearly screaming about some visitors. As soon as I put my ear to the door, someone pounded on it to wake me up. My brain sure the heck woke up! I yanked open the door; glare set to give to the person on the other side.
"What?"
"You better get down stairs. There's something going on involving Daisy." Chris explained in a clipped and angry voice before stomping to his room and slamming the door shut.
I double checked my clothes and shrugged. So what if it was the same thing I wore yesterday? Making my way down the stairs to the first floor, I paused when I saw two people I did not know looking and talking with the Professor and looking very, well, human.
As I made my way down the last few steps, Dr. Hank pulled me over.
"Those are Daisy's parents. Charles requested they visit."
He was still going to send her up the mental river! I felt my blood boil. Dr. Hank went to say something else, but I ripped myself from his grip and stomped over to where they were.
The professor looked up at me and smiled as he gestured toward the man and woman in front of him.
"Kookie, we were just talking about you. I would like to introduce you to Edward and Norma-Lynn Bloome."
I nodded, tight and thinned lipped. I probably looked like I was holding in an unpleasant noise resulting from bean burritos or something. Since it was around lunch time, all the lab rats and bed bugs emerged from wherever it was they hid and scurrying around the foyer.
Man, I just wanted to kick myself!
"I can't believe you'd do this!" I screeched. The whole world stopped on a Kookie. "I thought you wouldn't do this!" I faced the professor who looked utterly shocked. I knew he was going to pull this 'I-am-thy-King-mutant' act! Daisy's parents were here to take her away! "You're going to send her away to the loony bin!"
Yes, this was the time when my mouth started to taste like foot, but did that stop me from continuing? Noooo.
"You let some psycho, freak killer stay here and now you're kicking a—troubled person out? What's wrong with your logic! What, didn't she kiss your royal butt enough? Sometimes I think that Sabretooth had better leadership qualities than you!"
There was a choking sound. I was not sure if it was to bite back a curse or laugh. My brain was over reacting and, therefore, over loading.
"Kerry!" Jean pulled me to the side and whispered harshly while everyone was still looking at me. "They aren't here to take Daisy. They're here because Professor wanted to let them know she's staying with us and to give them the full story."
I knew my face betrayed my utter shock and the complete feeling of being a moron. When in such a fragile state of stupidity the last thing I should have done was look at Scott. He had his arms crossed and a scowl well in place.
"You're out of line, Blyt."
I stepped away from Jean to look at most everyone else. They all had the sour look. I had clearly over-stepped my bounds and every set of eyes was screaming at me.
"Oh," I said, backing toward the staircase.
Death, I would appreciate it if you claimed me now. I couldn't believe I just chewed the head guy out in front of everyone!
Man, just hand me the steak and throw me to a pack of starving dogs! Turning back to Professor, who had a look of promise (of a slow and painful demise), I knew I was just lucky last time to escape with my life after I gnawed on him before. By the way his eyebrows were starting to resemble horns, I realized that my luck stopped. I was so dead.
"And you are?" Mr. Bloome questioned, his voice reminded me of Scott's after someone blew up his favorite cannon in the Danger Room (or when he was feeling particularly sadistic).
Mrs. Bloome smiled and stretched her hand forward at me.
"Pleased to meet you."
I stuttered something, but before I could think of reacting to her outstretched hand, her husband tapped it down.
"I-I have-something to-," But whatever I said was completely forgotten as the hustle returned to normal, no doubt a telepathic command from Professor.
Oh man, I was going to be such a baked Kookie.
Thursday afternoon I had my nails dug into the armrests of the chair I'd been provided during my fatal speech ceremony. I was glad Scott and Miss Ororo stayed out of this.
So far, there was nothing being said, just my head hung, and me being the very essence of ashamed. I think I sent the scent off so strongly that Mr. Logan bailed or something close to it (Julie was probably feasting off of my negative fuel).
I glanced up at the Professor who had a neutral expression on.
What, was I supposed to talk first? "Uh," was my brilliant opening line.
"Kerry," he started, and to my surprise, it wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be. In fact I would say it was somewhat-sympathetic? "I know that these past months have been difficult on you. Losing your mother, your sister, and the life you knew."
Yeah, thanks, as if I wasn't feeling bad; I was pretty much suicidal at that point (okay not that bad, but let me tell you: about ten gallons of ice cream was on my menu).
"We have taken you in," and I was holding a comment in because I didn't need to add fudge to that ten pounds of ice cream, "have taught you to the best of our knowledge regarding your powers, which are still under question." Yeah, big surprise. "I've opened my home. There are many who have offered you friendship and more—from your new name it should be obvious." I cringed. Did he mean my codename or the one that I had to ask from Scott and Jean?
I glanced up at him, and then turned my eyes away.
"I've tried every way I could think of, every technique to make you open up and accept what you are and yet you have, quite defensively, denied it."
My 'I-want-to-say-something' twitch started at the corner of my mouth, but I didn't dare open it in fear of causing myself more grief than absolutely necessary.
"Kerry." I looked up when the chair moaned under the shifting of weight. "What is it you fear about being a mutant? What lies in your past, in your mind which won't let you accept what you are?"
I clamped my teeth, "I-" but instead of anything coming out, my tongue got caught between my teeth and I decided to leave it that way.
"The idea of Dr. Frese was to get you to be more expressive, which I think your lack of proper rest has done well enough." I made a grunting noise because I was caught. "Your previous defense of your teammate was admirable, and the only reason you were not punished for speaking so decidedly was because of you finally showed enthusiasm."
"I-stepped out of line," I bit out. Scott was right, Scott was always right that's what made him Scott. "I'm sorry." Oh my goodness, it was a very nasty and bitter horse pill to swallow when I had to apologize.
"What is it you want to finalize?"
"Jeopardy?"
He smiled at that. Couldn't believe it! He smiled.
"I see. When you reach a decision, please inform me." Professor tipped his head to the side a fraction. "Until then, I'll be deciding what your punishment should be for such inappropriate comments, earlier."
Getting up to leave, I turned to him. "So, Daisy's staying?"
"Yes," an amused expression crossed his face, "but her parents have requested that the crazy girl who they met earlier, I can only assume you, to not participate in her 'healing' process."
I felt a blush creep across my face. Oh boy, say one dumb thing and they never let me forget it (or they thought I'd completely lost it, but whatever). After I left, I sighed, and walking back to my room, a thought crossed my mind.
Why the heck didn't I get yelled at? I mean, I thought I deserved to be yelled at! Wait, what was I saying?! Since when did I become a masochist?
