Chapter 11: Resolution
They had not escaped unscathed. Once Saito had taken all his prisoners to the police headquarters, the Wolf ushered the two unspeaking ninja's into a side room. An older man was tending to a sprained ankle of a trainee. He looked up at the two, hesitating only for a moment at the sight of Misao. Aoshi had been shot in the left shoulder, but bore the pain without any sign of discomfort. The doctor finished tying off the splint and smiled.
"Do come in! I heard about Saito-san's mission. I assume you were his agents. Congratulations!"
Misao gave him a small smile. "You really don't have to do anything for me. It's just a little cut."
"Nonsense! Infection can kill a person just as easily as a bullet."
Aoshi raised his hand to urge Misao forward but she twisted away. "Then I thank you for your concern."
The doctor quickly tore away the sleeve of her outfit. The wound ran almost to the bone, but thankfully was clean. A gangster with a well maintained blade was just her strange luck. The doctor clicked his tongue.
"You say this is 'just a scratch'? It has closed well, but I will stitch it to be safe."
Misao sighed. The stitches from Hanabi's operation had been painful to remove. She was thankful that she had been unconscious when she had put them in. Aoshi removed his bloodied coat and stripped off the left side of his uniform. Watching him out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the bullet passed through the muscle at the left side of his neck. It had to be agony to move his head, but his face was still cold. He turned and caught her looking. She broke the gaze under pretense of flinching as the doctor tied off his fourth stitch. Two stitches later, the old man carefully wrapped a clean strip of cotton around his handiwork. Misao gave him a smile and then moved from the chair for Aoshi.
The doctor tisked again. "Ah, that looks bad. You will have to take care while this is healing. Neck wounds are easy to reopen."
Aoshi only grunted as he began to clean the small trench that the bullet had carved. Misao tried to discreetly slip out the door but ran straight into Saito.
"Going somewhere, weasel?"
She smirked. "You were calling me snake-boy earlier. I would have thought you would respect me just a bit more."
Saito had taken off the coat of his uniform and the black undershirt was torn on the right just above his hip. His blue pants had a wet patch running down his leg. Misao blinked. The Wolf only pushed past her.
"Well, Shinomori, I have your payment in my office once you are finished here."
Aoshi only nodded and Misao slipped out the open door.
Quickly finding her way back to the Katatomi estate, she gave a short nod to the policemen still guarding the entrance. One of them held out his hand to stop her.
"Excuse me, miss, but you cannot enter without permission from the police commissioner, or the head of the household."
Misao wanted to roll her eyes. "Well, considering that Saito-san is presently taking care of the head of the household in jail, that seems to be rather irrational."
The man looked her over a second time, taking in her torn black cloths and the bandage around her arm. He hesitated. "Are you - the bodyguard, Jiei?"
Misao sighed. "Hai. I just came from the station, and wish to see how Lady Hanabi is doing."
The officer lowered his hand. "I see."
She heard the other policeman say incredulously as the gate closed behind her, "Jiei was a girl?"
Trotting up the stairs to the private rooms, Misao knocked on the wooden frame of the door. It slid open a fraction and then was abruptly pushed aside as Hanabi flung her arms around her friend. Kitai tumbled on the floor with a fan behind her.
"Misao! I am so glad you are here! I was afraid you would leave without saying anything. I am to meet my future husband in a few hours and I'm so nervous."
"So your husband is unconcerned about your father?"
Hanabi released her and sank to the floor on a cushion. "Not unconcerned, actually, but he said that he wished that this scandal to be removed as soon as possible. If we are married before word gets out about my father, then there is nothing to overshadow me. But if we are to marry later, there will be more social issues to resolve."
Misao started. "So he is going to marry you now?"
"Hai - he is summoning a priest here, it will be informal."
"I thought aristocrats were all about being public with their events."
"We are - usually, which is why I am so confused. I would have thought that Hinotoro-san would want nothing to do with me."
Misao smiled. Kitai, realizing that her true mistress had arrived, leapt up onto her shoulder with a loud cry for attention. She gently rubbed the kitten under the chin before answering, "Then perhaps your future husband is of more respect than we give him credit."
Hanabi flicked her hand dismissingly. "I do not with to think on it any longer. Let me have a few more moments of simple companionship - for I am aware that now Shinomori-san knows who you are, that you will be leaving soon."
"You shouldn't push your wedding aside, Hanabi. But you are right - I will be leaving, but I'm not sure when or how. So, as my thanks to you for your friendship, and mentoring, may I offer you what I can?" Misao unhooked Kitai's claws from her uniform and placed the kitten in Hanabi's lap. The golden eyes watched her for a long moment, somehow understanding that her loyalty was being passed over to another. "Please take care of Kitai. I found her when I first started this journey, but I do not know if it would be good for her to keep following me. I would be happy knowing she has such a good home as keeper of the home of the emperor's second aunt's son's wife."
Hanabi giggled. "What are titles to a cat?" She reached into the sleeve of her kimono and pulled out a blue silk purse. "Please accept this."
Misao frowned. Heavy coins clinked against one another inside as she took the bag. "Hanabi, I don't know -"
"Please, if you will not accept it as your rightful payment for your duties which you have performed with perfection, then take it as a gift of friendship. I know now how harsh the world outside my door can be. But money can ease the way. It is not much, but it is what I can take from my father." She gently stroked Kitai. "At least I will know that something good has come out of my father's evil."
Misao hesitated for a moment longer, then tucked the purse under her sash. "We ought to prepare you to meet Hinotoro-san."
The small wedding took place early in the evening as the sun slipped over the hills. The only witnesses in the western-style dining room were the policemen, Misao, Aoshi, and the police commissioner. Saito had refused the invitation. The home shrine was opened, and prayers made as orange shafts of light fell upon the group. The priest was reluctant to create a union in a moment of the day's end, but with the persuasion of Fujima Hinotoro, the service was performed. The nobleman was in his early thirties, but that was to be expected if his first concern had been in advising the emperor rather than building a family. However, he looked down on his hesitant betrothed with a smile, graciously bowing to her before kneeling before the family alter by her side. Misao watched him closely, ignoring the equally close looks that Aoshi gave her.
In the fading sunlight as the ceremony was concluded, and during the supper she decided that he would be a kind man to her friend due to his caution in the treatment of his new wife, never sitting too close, and always taking into consideration her needs. It was further assured by the gentleness in his hand as he helped her into the carriage to take her to her new home, and how he firmly commanded the handful of servants who led his dancing bay stallion into the courtyard. Hanabi had peeked from the curtained box one last time to give a small wave to Misao, who smiled encouragement. There was a final long meow from Kitai, and they were gone into the night.
Aoshi was talking quietly with the other men as she reentered the house. Returning to the dining room with it's great glass window facing a small decorative garden now shadowed, she bowed before the house shrine. The door opened behind her.
This time there would be no escape, no last minute evasion or disguise. He knew who she was and could see her face by the reflection on the glass. She smiled, but it was only a reflex. Her heart was pounding. "You found me."
He said nothing, stepping further into the dark room. The risen moon outside cast a cold silver light which gleamed in his eyes.
"You have to admit that I had you fooled for a while."
"How long would you have run?" His voice was black.
Misao gave him a smirk. "Around the world."
"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"
"Yes, and you almost caught me on the first day."
If that information surprised him, he showed no sign, only stepping slowly closer. She could run - could have run earlier in the day, but strangely enough she was tired of running. Besides, where could she go? She would barely make it out of the room before he caught up. Misao trailed her hand down the window pane almost absently wondering if she stood a better chance of escape by smashing through it. She jumped when his fingers trapped her own against the glass and felt his chest against her back. His mouth next to her ear sent shivers through her body.
"Do you know how close to insanity I came?"
"I was going insane by staying."
He shifted, other hand gripping her hip as his nose buried in her hair. "I need you, Misao."
Her heart flipped at those words. Longing coursed through her, but she kept a lock on her reason. Closing her eyes as she felt his trapping hand trace tiny circles on her wrist, she managed to keep her voice steady.
"I don't want your need, Aoshi-sama. I want your love. And do not say I have it just to bring me home because I will simply slip away again."
His hand on her hip slid around to press against her stomach, pulling her closer. "I do not know what love is." Aoshi murmured. "But if it is what has kept my blood flowing when all I want to do is make it stop, or if it is what my heart cries when I cannot see you," He turned her back to the window and she looked up into burning eyes. "Then it is yours. The only thing which has kept me grounded in reality is the knowledge that you would never abandon your family."
Misao reached up to touch his face, reveling in the small shiver he made as her hand caressed his cheek. "No, I wouldn't," She frowned slightly. "But where are you in my family?"
He drew her palm against his mouth and it was her turn to tremble. "I want to be in love. I want to show you what you have shown me." He pressed his lips to hers for an electric moment. "I want you to marry me."
The pleasant haze over her senses from his kiss was cut open. Misao felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over her entire body. She jerked away, the cold window replacing his warm embrace and snapping the remnants of whatever spell he had cast. Shaking her head, she pushed past him. He grabbed her arm but with hardly a second thought, she took his grasping hand and pulled. Twisting her body, she threw him over her hip to the ground. He stared up at her in shock, but she couldn't tell if it was from the fact she had rejected him, or that she had managed to dump him on the floor. She stomped on the sudden impulse to laugh.
"Misao?" His voice questioned her on so many different levels.
"I don't believe you." She gritted her teeth and took care to step out of his reach. "I have no reason to trust anything you say."
He stood, but made no move towards her. His face returned to its traditional blankness. "Why do you say that?"
All her old anger and hurt boiled to the surface. "Why?" She practically screamed. "Because I waited for two years for you to see me - really see me - not even counting the ages I waited at home for you to return. You promised you would return. But you had no intention of coming home once Kanryuu murdered the others. You broke that promise - that one promise that should have been the easiest to keep."
Aoshi frowned. "You don't understand -"
Misao almost raised her hand to hit him, but stopped herself. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her voice, adapting the flinty tone she had developed as Hanabi's guard. "Don't tell me that. I understand your guilt, though I cannot feel it. I understand your self-punishment in payment of that guilt. What I do not understand is why you insist on spending the remainder of your life blind to those around you - the other Oniwaban you left behind. The little girl you promised to protect. The mentor who took your place and then nearly died by your hand. And then the woman who wanted so badly to help you start anew." She drew herself up proudly, meeting his eyes directly. "I am the Okashira. I promised myself that I would move on without you, and I have. This is my proof - I've made my own name." She raised an eyebrow. "There is no little girl to protect any longer."
Misao turned and walked to the door. When her hand touched the latch, Aoshi spoke with his usual cold bluntness.
"A moment ago you said you wanted my love, and now you reject it. What is your reason for that?"
She closed her eyes in exasperation, though he didn't see. "A moment ago you said you did not know what love was."
"Don't play games with me, Misao."
She looked over her shoulder. "You made me weak, Aoshi-sama. I was moving neither forward or back. You, of all people, should know that inaction will drive me mad."
Her hand tightened on the handle. Aoshi's voice stopped her again, this time with a shadow of a plea. "And if I move forward with you?"
Misao had no answer. Opening the door, she paused, "Tell Okina and the others that I'm doing well."
There was a whisper of movement behind her and she jumped forward. Aoshi missed his grab at her, but as soon as her feet hit the ground he was close behind. She managed to stay a few yards ahead of him since she knew the layout of the house like the back of her hand but once she was in the open, the tables would turn. If she could just make it to the trees...
When she reached the side garden, Misao put on a burst of speed to her sprint and launched herself over the wall and into the great pine tree on the other side. She immediately leapt again. The moonlight made her treetop path rather difficult, but she only slipped once and scraped her knee. Pushing on, she listened for signs of pursuit but only heard her own breathing mixed with the sounds of a sleeping forest. She pushed on until the ground began to rise as she neared the foot of the mountains surrounding Tokyo. Dropping to the forest floor, she paused in a clearing to regain her breath. She could just make out the lights of the city below. She had missed Kenshin and Kaoru's wedding, but at least had made her friend's, and now it was time to move on. She had faced Aoshi and now could only move forward alone.
Smiling at the warm lights, she murmured, "Goodbye everyone."
Her eyes still lingering on the remnants of her new life, she turned and walked straight into a firm body. Screeching in indignation, Misao tried to raise her hands to push Aoshi away but he had pinned her arms to her sides, clutching her to him. She was too close to knee him, but she tried anyway, striking with her feet at his shins. He wouldn't even flinch. Cursing at his immobility, she could not look him in the face. When she paused to take a breath, he asked calmly,
"Are you finished?"
Her last act of defiance was to sink her teeth in his wounded shoulder. He hissed through his teeth at the unexpected pain yet his voice maintained the same unemotional tone. "I suppose I deserved that."
"Yes you did - and anything else I can do." Misao growled. "You took away half my life, leaving me like that. I've spent more time wandering Japan than learning how to become a proper lady. I don't think I'll ever be able to change that - not that I even want to! So, being unfit for a proper household, I think I'm just going to masquerade as a man for a while. I've managed this far without you, so I think I can go the rest of the way."
Aoshi's eyes glinted oddly in the dim light. She stiffened with a squeak when his hand yanked up the back of her uniform and slid underneath. Before what he had done could fully register, he had untied the bindings around her chest. His hand was bare, she mused as his fingers trailed up her spine. She shivered as they retraced their path down to the small of her back. The caress somehow sapped the energy to break away. His voice was deeper than she had ever heard it as he said,
"You could never hide the fact that you are a woman. That is why you avoided me even in the Katatomi household."
To her shame, her own voice was shaking. "I-I fooled Saito."
"He does not know you as I do. Misao," He tilted her head up with his other hand. "You did a very good job of shielding your presence till now. I could not understand how you left no trace of yourself, until yesterday. Then I realized how much you had changed," His eyes were almost closed as he leaned in. "How far you had left me behind. And then I understood everything you had been trying to do for the last two years - trying to bring me home. What I never told you was that you became my reason to live. And then I found that I was chasing you."
Misao's reflexes told her that now was the ideal time to run. Her body told her to stay and take advantage of this rare moment. Her mind had given up any reasoning - then everything shut off as he ravaged her mouth so completely that all she could do was hold on. His tongue slipped past her lips and coxed her to shyly answer. With one hand on her back holding her to him, his other slipped down to pull again at the hem of her shirt. Gliding up her back, his fingers paused at the faint scar caused by the bandit's sword. Aoshi drew back a little.
"Who did this?"
She felt her face turn bright red as she realized what he had done to her cloths. She squirmed. "Um, I had a little trouble during a robbery attempt. Hanabi sewed it up."
"Who did this?"
Raising an eyebrow, Misao felt some of her sarcasm return. "Don't worry, he got it much worse than I. If he ever forgets, it will be the day he dies."
"Are there others?" His fingertips continued to investigate the slight ridge of the scar and she squirmed again. "Aoshi!" His hand moved to dance lightly over her ribs and she squeaked. "Stop it!"
"Say it again."
She froze and looked up. "What?"
Aoshi did something she had mused about only a few times and never expected to experience in reality. His surprisingly interested hand migrated upwards and palmed her left breast. Her face felt like it was on fire and she clamped her own hand around his wrist to stop him from continuing.
"Aoshi what are you-"
He buried his face in the side of her neck. "I've wondered what my name would sound like."
Misao began using her free hand to tug her cloths back into place, which was rather awkward while he had his buried underneath. Her heart was pounding, and she knew he could feel it. His fingers moved and she couldn't refrain from gasping.
"Aoshi!" The look of hot emotion on his face at her exclamation made her falter for an instant before she steeled herself once more. "I will not be seduced by you. It's not like you to act like this and I will not believe that you would force a woman to bed to get your way. You would never sink to that level - not if you are the same Shinomori I know."
His hand finally slipped away. "Misao, this journey has not changed only you. I have had a lot of time to think over my past."
Misao couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Two years!"
He continued, ignoring her interruption. "There is little left in this world that interests me. The guilt of what I had done nearly drove me to taking my kodachi and driving it into my stomach. One morning I almost did. The blade left a scar here." He opened his uniform and showed her a thin line on the left side of his abdomen. It looked almost laughable in comparison to the darker marks crossing his chest, but the fact that it was self inflicted made it scream.
That got her full attention. Others had worried about his mental condition following the incident at Kanryuu's, but she had always known that he would never consider suicide - at least, that was what she had assumed.
"What stopped me from completing the act was your footsteps on the path to the temple. That morning you had come early to serve me tea - I don't know why. But the thought of you seeing me taking the coward's way out of life caused me more pain than any seppuku ever could. I live because of your constancy. Now you want to take that away from me and I cannot let you do that - for your sanity and mine."
Misao almost reached out to touch the scar, but restrained herself. If she gave in now, everything she had done would become worthless, her own identity would become hypocritical - and the one thing Misao Makamachi knew for sure was that she knew her self. Stepping back and out of his arms, she looked up at his shadowed face.
"Aoshi-sama, I was a child when I left. I had been a child for so long and knew it was time to move on, with or without you. I did not want to take anything from you - Kami knows that too much has been taken from you already. But I had to find a sense of self on my own terms - my own abilities. Now I have that. You cannot ask me to return to the child I once was. You cannot ask me to go back when I have just begun."
A small smile changed the pattern of darkness across his features. "Misao, I do not want to take you back. I want to go with you until you choose to return to the others. I want to follow you now."
The full moon overhead made the surrounding woods as black as frozen pitch. The wind held its breath. The stars quivered in the heavens, waiting to shatter at the next word. Misao closed her eyes and waited with the stillness. For what felt like eternity, life itself seemed to pause. Then she found her answer. Reaching slowly out, she touched the thin mark of the former leader's desolation.
"Then follow."
She felt him relax but held up her hand in warning. "You will not interfere in any of my choices. I make my decisions on my own."
Aoshi nodded once, then knelt in front of her. "I understand, Okashira."
His reaction made her heart break and dance at the same time. Unable to help herself, she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around his bowed shoulders. He stiffened for an instant, before wordlessly answering her cry of forgiveness, selfishness, and hope for their future.
